They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'm never
Only they can see where this is gonna end
But they all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over the town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change your mind, turn it all around
###
James Potter was sitting in the corner of the local bar with his head down and a glass up. He never been an alcoholic or any whiskey fan but at the time it seemed like a good idea.
His mind was wondering around this person-this girl and all those years of chasing. Was she still worth it? Even after this cruel breaking up?
And he hated it because he knew the answer never change.
Yes. She was abso-bloody-lutely worth it.
No other woman can compared to her perfect shape of face, her tiny nose with those twenty two freckles on it-yes he counted them, and her thin delicious-pink lips. And now he sounded like a love-sick puppy, which let's admit it, he is.
He groaned out loud when he felt someone tapped him in the back.
"Alright mate?"
James looked up and met a few pair of eyes that he would recognize anywhere.
"What do you think?" He asked back, "what do you see?"
Remus Lupin stepped in, "Mess?"
"Exactly,"
Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew sat across 'the mess', they exchanged look and sighed altogether.
"Why don't you just get it over already? You better off without her, Prongs," whispered Sirius using James' nickname.
James stared at Sirius like he just grew a halo in his head. "Do I look like I'm better off this way, Pad?"
"Well, no," answered Sirius as a matter-of-fact, "But you'd be better if you just let it go,"
Peter chuckled, "I doubt it,"
"Agree," James and Remus nodded in agreement.
Sirius groaned and glared at his two other friends, "Mates, I'm trying to give him a suggestion. Aren't you two going to help me out?"
"It won't work out anyway," Remus said. "And you know I know you know that. We've been in this situation too many times before they even got together,"
"And everything that we planned out will eventually be forgotten," added Peter in his little voice.
James Potter looked at his friends who argued over him apologetically, "I'm sorry okay? It's just, whenever I think about Lily, there's that kind of feeling when I'm drowning because of her but still managed to breathed out her name,"
"Oh, now I'm sick," mumbled Sirius in annoyance
"Why did you hate her so much, Pad?" James asked, suppressing his grin to get wider.
"I'm anything but hate her," Sirius responded grinning back widely. Actually, he kinds of friends with Lily and know her well enough to not dislike her, "You just sounded like a hopeless man whenever you talked about her like that. How could I hate the girl my best mate been crying out every night?"
"Hey, I'm not crying!"
"Close to tears," chipped Remus and Peter.
James laughed sarcastically. He looked back down to the glass in his hand and took one shoot before let out another groaned.
"She'll come back to me," whispered James. No, we are not missing a question mark. Because he actually believed that. "I'm swearing if I go there now, I can change her mind, and turn it all around,"
His friends were silent. They have seen this side of James Potter for a thousand times.
"Let's go back. You're drunk, Prongs," said Remus, hoping his friend would just get it over with.
###
So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know I'm with her face to face, that she'll come to her senses
Every drunk stand by tend leads me to her door
If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure
###
James Potter was drunk. Anyone with eyes would have known that. His eyes looked a bit red, so did his cheek. He stumble in every step but managed to remember correctly how to reach her flat. And no one questions how did he done that.
He did not knock. He did not come in. He was just standing there and let the flashback fill him up.
"James?"
He looked up and met those beautiful green eyes. Oh, how much he missed them? Actually how long they have been separated? It seems longer than he knows.
And it seems he was too deep in thought that he didn't realized her door was swinging open, revealing the goddess inside it.
"Hey, there," he replied, too scared to say her name out loud.
For a moment they were just standing there, staring at each other eyes. Not aware of three other pairs of eyes who spied on them from the end of the corridor.
"How's life?" She asked, breaking the silent.
"Fine. Yours?" He lied. How was he supposed to say? Miserable, Empty, and hurtful to know that she's not there?
She cleared her throat, "Fine,"
And they fell into silence once again. He was afraid if he open his mouth, he would saying something stupid and make her ran away.
But she did not share his mind.
"You look like you just came out of a bar," she said in her angel-kind of voice. How in the world Sirius Black ever thought that James would be better without that voice?
James sigh, "Which I am,"
She chuckled slightly, "And what brings you to my flat?"
Another longer and deeper sigh. "I guess you know what it is,"
But she didn't react like he planned her to. She just stared at him, waiting for another come back.
"I can't stop thinking about us," he declared. She looked down to avoid his gaze. "What should have been, what could have been."
"James.."
"No," he stop her, "Please, just listen to me. I may not the perfect guy you hoped for but I'm trying. And.. and I.. and.." He paused, "bugger! I never been good with words,"
James cursed himself under his breath, missed the small smile that crept into her very face.
"I'm not going to scared you away, Lily. I simply love you, okay? I know most guys would have said they are happy if you are happy even without them, but I am not most guys," James added with an almost whispered, "I am selfish and I want you to happy with me,"
His three friends were holding their breath as he said that. And Lily. Well, it is hard to read her face.
They stand in silence for a quiet while until she decided to respond.
"You should have just forget me," she said in the same kind of whispered as his. "I am not good for you,"
James let out a frustrated laugh, "Do I look good without you now?"
For a moment, she looked up and met his eyes. He swore he saw sadness and regret in those pool of green. But then she realized what she had let him see and looked away.
"It's already midnight, James," she said, desperate for excuse, "later okay?"
And with that she closed her door.
James stared at that familiar wood door hopelessly. He just said everything he'd like her to know but nothing from her. What did he done wrong?
"Come on Prongs, another bar is waiting," Sirius popped out of his hiding place and tapped his friend slightly, wishing that he would just get it over.
###
And I know that I'm drunk but I see the worst
If she'll listen this time even though this lust
I'll dial her number and confess to her
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing
###
James Potter was holding his phone in his ear, waiting for her to answer. He forgot how many days he wasted on her but not once he regret.
Then he heard the click sound.
"Lily, talk to me,"
Silence.
"James, don't make this hard for me," she replied in a whispered.
"What do you mean?"
He heard her sighed before continued, "You made me look like a bad guy in here."
"Then, don't. Just come back, Lils," he smiled a little, knowing he had a chance.
"This is why I don't want to be with you," she snapped in sudden, "You're too good James. You're exactly what I wanted or even more and you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You might think I'm crazy, but I don't deserve you."
He sat down in his armchair, slowly proceeded what she was just saying. What. The. Bloody. Fuck. Was. That.
"Lily?" He forced himself fo saying something for respond, "Why?"
He heard another sigh, "I'm afraid you will get over me. I'm afraid someday you will realized that I'm not worth it and I'm not excatly what you wanted." She laughed bitterly, "and I guess it's better for us to end it before it hurt us so much more,"
He can't believe it. For days he was sulking, upset, and even close to tears for her. This was just her reason? Afraid?
"You kidding me,"
"Don't you dare to laugh at me," she said strictly.
James groaned in frustrated. "Are you really considering those things, Lils? Because, I hate to break it to you, but you will never get rid of me,"
"But I'm afraid! You see, believe it or not, there are plenty girls who would throw themselves at you. They are all unbelievably flawless and I'm nothing compared to them all," she replied, "and one day you will realized it and leave me here all alone."
James Potter chuckled like he was hearing a ridiculous joke, which for him, it is. He still couldn't believe how stupid this girl.
First, she thought he would get sick of her. Secondly, she thought she's ugly. But she didn't even thought she might be just simply stupid for thinking like that.
"I'll come to your flat. And don't you dare to run, Lils. We should talk these things out," he said before put his phone back into his pocket.
Now, he won't take nothing for answer.
A/N: This is my very first story so please be easy xx and sorry for some mistakes! I know it's weird for James using phone to called Lily, but since it's for the sake of the story, let's just accept that ok? xx Review Please, thank you