Well everyone, here I am, alive and well once again. Season 2 of "Death Battle" is about to begin! Yep, Wiz and Boomstick are back, bringing you all more battles, each one better than the next. Stewie Griffin shall return and fight more opponents, both good and evil. To kick of Season 2, Stevie Griffin shall travel to the far east, and fight off not one, but TWO opponents. Who are these two opponents? Will they win? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's begin chapter 1 of the second season of this epic miniseries...

Wiz: Well everyone, welcome to Season 2 of "Death Battle". And do we have a Season 2 premiere battle for you!

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby…

Wiz: And Jessie and James, the team members of "Team Rocket", and the main enemies of "Pokemon".

Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

Introduction to Stewie Griffin:

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! Needless to say, he's very happy to be fighting again in this second.

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie Griffin in the last season of "Death Battle", but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper-class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

Introduction to Jessie and James:

Boomstick: When Season 2 of "Death Battles" came into development, we really wanted to kick it off on a high note. And what better way to do that than by having him take on TWO opponents instead of one!

Wiz: Jessie and James are a duo of villains who are obsessed with trying to steal Ash's Pokemon. They're both full of athletic skills, and villainy skills alike. They can run fast, snatch Poke-Balls, jump very well, dodge projectiles, and even fight back very well with their own Pokemon. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Jessie and James cannot use their Pokemon in the battle.

Boomstick: This duo is not meant to be messed with, as their physical skills can ultimately defeat you. They can also use their Pokemon and physically attack you at the same time. And they also have their Pokemon pet/sidekick, Meowth to probably attack you. But he can't help them out during the battle due to the rules of "Death Battle". But they can use their physical skills to do so.

Wiz: Well, what on Earth are we all waiting for? Let's begin this brand new "Death Battle" and officially kick off Season 2! Here we go…

And now, the actual battle to the death…

(The scene begins with Stewie Griffin in the living room, watching an episode of "Pokemon". The episode then finishes, and Stewie leaves the living room, and walks up to Brian in the kitchen…)

Brian: Hey Stewie, what's up?

Stewie: Fine. Brian, can we go to Japan?

Brian (looks up from book he's reading): Japan? Stewie, are you kidding me?

Stewie: Yes! "Pokemon" takes place in Japan, so now, I want to go to Japan for real!

Brian: Uh, no way. No Stewie, not happening.

Stewie: Oh, come on! Take me to Japan!

Brian: No Stewie, we're not going to Japan. First of all, it's too expensive, and second of all, the flight is over 23 hours long. Sorry Stewie, no way. We're not going to Japan.

Stewie: BUT I REALLY WANT TO GO! TAKE ME! TAKE ME! TAKE ME TO JAPAN!

Brian: Stewie, stop screaming. Staying mad at me isn't going to change my answer.

Stewie (stomps foot): FINE! In that case, I'll go build a private jet and fly to Japan myself!

Brian (laughs): Stewie, you can't do that. (focuses back on book) But if you want to try to do so, have at it.

Stewie (turns away): Fine, I will (walks to his room)

(Cuts to the backyard 3 hours later. Stewie's private jet is all fueled up, stocked with supplies, and is ready to flight. Stewie backs up his suitcase, grabs his 60 dollars, and boards the plane. He then closes the front door and locks it up. He then gets into the cockpit, locks the door, and sits down in the pilot's chair, buckling up. He then turns the ignition key, starting up the engines. Stewie finally takes off into the sky, reach's its cruising altitude of 35,000 feet, and pushes a button labeled, "Supersonic Speed"…)

Stewie (grins): There, that ought to make it extra-fast flying speed. I'll be in Japan in only 5 hours. (sets plane on "Autopilot) Well, I'm going to go and make my airline meal. (exits cockpit)

(Cuts to 5 hours later over the country of Japan. Suddenly, a red light begins to flash and an alarm goes off in the background…)

Stewie (sees light): What the? (sees empty fuel gauge) Oh, crap! I'm running out of gas! (switches off "Autopilot") I better try to land right away! (turns on communication radio) MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I NEED HELP! I NEED TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY LANDING!

Communication radio: (nothing but static noises)

Stewie (turns it off): Crap, no replies. (puts hands on steering wheel as plane make's its descent) I better land this thing myself than! (pushes wheel forward)

(Cuts to plane crash landing in the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan, somewhere in the Katon region. The plane lands in the middle of a shallow lake. Stewie breaks open window, grabs his book bag, and jumps out of the plane. He then runs through the shallow lake and gets on the land…)

Stewie: Oh man, I really screwed up this time! (puts book bag over his shoulders) I better try to find a place to stay (walks off towards a Japanese garden)

(Scene cuts to Jessie and James sitting together on a nearby bench, going over a written plan to steal several Pokemon species from a nearby Pokemon clinic…)

Jamie: So, once the safe is cracked open, all unused Pokemon shall be ours!

Jessie (laughs): Oh, this is such a great plan!

Stewie (walks up to Jessie and James): Hello there, folks. Uh, would you happen to know where the nearest hotel is?

Jessie (looks up from plan): Uh, say that again please.

James: James, he needs to find a hotel.

Jessie: Oh, well, silly me. Well, there IS a hotel about 10 miles away.

Stewie: 10 MILES!? Are you serious!?

Jessie: Well, too bad, brat. It's all there is around here.

Stewie: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BRAT!? (pulls out shotgun)

James: OH CRAP! (stands up in fear)

Jessie: James, don't be a coward! (stands up and looks at Stewie) Bring it on, bratty!

James: You're going to pay for pulling out that gun on us!

Jessie: Prepare for trouble!

James: Make it double!

Jessie: To protect the world from deviation...

James: To unite all peoples within our nation!

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love...

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jessie: Jessie...

James: James...

Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off in the speed of light!

James: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!

Stewie (grins): Oh, you bet I'm ready to fight...

FIGHT!

Stewie (fires machine gun): TAKE THIS!

Jessie and James (dodge bullets): NEVER MESS WITH "TEAM ROCKET"! (kick Stewie to the ground)

Stewie (gets up): Big mistake, you duo of feces! (pulls out flamethrower) TIME FOR FIRE! (fires flamethrower)

Jessie and James (catch on fire): AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (run off) HELP! AAAAHHHH!

Stewie (chases after them): GET BACK HERE!

Jessie and James (grab nearby fire extinguisher): Is it just us, or is it getting COLDER here?! (fires the fire extinguisher)

Stewie (drops flamethrower): HEY! (frowns) That's it! No more Mr. Nice Baby! (sees one of James's Poke-Balls) Destroy MY property?! (snatches Poke-Ball) NOW, YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS! (runs off, steals nearby bicycle) HAHA! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!

Jessie and James (chases after Stewie): GET BACK HERE, YOU BRATTY BABY!

James: That's my Poke-Ball!

Stewie (turns around to look at James): NOT ANYMORE! (laughs, looks forward again)

(Scene shows Stewie speeding into the Downtown area of the city of Tokyo, Japan, dodging cars, trucks, buses, etc. Stewie sees stairway leading to subway tunnel and speeds down the stairs, nearly hitting Ash on the way down…)

Ash (falls over on the left of stairs): OW! HEY! (gets up) Watch where you're going!

Stewie (jumps off bike and jumps over turnstiles): Oh, shut up! This doesn't concern you! (sees subway train pulling up into the station) Perfect! Right on time! (runs onto train)

(Scene then shows Jessie and James running into the subway station, jumping over the turnstiles, trying to catch Stewie on the train. But the doors close right before they can reach it. The train then sped out of the station…)

Jessie: Drat, we'll never catch with him now!

James: Don't worry. I got an idea…(sees nearby motorcycle)

(Scene cuts to Jessie and James, riding the stolen motorcycle through the subway tunnel, getting closer and closer to the speeding train. Stewie is in the first car of the subway station, and he sees Jessie and James getting closer…)

Stewie: Oh, crap! They're gaining on me! I better get this train to speed up. (sees door to the driver's/control room at the very front of the train car) Hmmm…(grins) I got an idea! (runs up to control room door, pulls out handgun, shoots lock off, and swings open door)

Train driver: What the heck? What are you doing in here?

Stewie (jumps on dashboard): Shut up, old guy. (points handgun at driver) Now, I'm taking over this train! Get out or else!

Train driver: Or else what?

Stewie: Or else…THIS! (shoots the driver in chest, killing him instantly) Good, now to speed up this train! (closes control room door) Alright, which control here controls the speed? (finds throttle lever) Ah, here I go…(pulls lever back, increasing speed)

(The train speed up very fast, causing all of the passengers onboard to fall over, hit the walls, get injured, etc. Jessie and James notice the train's speed increase…)

Jessie: Crap, the train is getting faster! (pushes pedal harder) It must be the brat that took over the train or something!

James (laughs): Jessie, that's ridiculous! How on Earth could a child do that? (suddenly sees Stewie in the window of the driver's room of the train) HE DID! OH MY GOSH!

Jessie: James, I got an idea! Climb on my back and I'll get us closer to the train. When I say to, jump off and break open the window. Then, stop the train, and that kid will be dead!

James (gets onto Jessie's back): Okay, I'm ready for your signal!

Jessie (gets closer to the front of the train): NOW!

James (jumps off Jessie's back and grabs onto side of train) I DID IT! (grins at Stewie in the widow) HERE'S JAMES! (punches hole in glass and reaches for throttle lever)

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): Oh now, you don't! (fires machine at James, killing him, and causing his body to fall onto the ground)

Jessie (sees James's death): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! JAMES, I'LL AVENGE YOU! (jumps off motorcycle, grabs onto side of train, kicks bigger hole in window, and jumps into train) BRAT, TIME TO DIE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO JAMES!

Stewie (grins): Oh yeah? (pulls out katana) Not unless I kill you first! (swings katana very hard at Jessie's head, cutting it off her body, killing her instantly) HEADS UP! (laughs)

(Stewie sees subway station coming up on the left, and pulls the brake. The train stops so suddenly, that it derails, and 4 cars of the train tipped over on the left, crashing into the station platform. The other cars of the train tipped over and fell on the ground on the right. Dozens of bystanders panic in fear and shock, and rush over to the aid of the passengers inside the train. Some of them call emergency services and soon, dozens of police officers, firemen, and paramedics arrive at the station to help the passengers inside the train get out. Stewie sneaks out the front window and runs off, exiting the subway station, and not being seen by anyone…)

Stewie (takes Poke-ball out of his pocket): Well, since that fight is over, it looks like I won't be needing this anymore…(tosses Poke-Ball into nearby trashcan) Well, time to go find a hotel…(walks away)

KO!

Boomstick: Now that's what I call a good way to start off Season 2! Man, that was awesome! Can we do that so a subway train one day?

Wiz (sighs): No, Boomstick. Anyways, as you can see, both Jessie and James did a very good job at chasing Stewie and hurting him at the beginning, but Stewie's tactical and lethal methods of fight game him a clear advantage here.

Boomstick: And also, Jessie and James have been doing evil schemes all their life, but usually get defeated by Ash and his friends. It looks like Meowth will have to find a new owner to be raised by. Thanks to Stewie, Jessie and James are now in a better place.

Wiz: The winner is Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thanks for watching and we'll see you all next time on "Death Battle"!

THE END!

Well, how was the first episode of Season 2? Was it epic? Was it worth the wait? Well, I hope you all liked it. Stewie Griffin really showed off some stunts this time, when he took over the train and all. Oh, I bet you weren't expecting it all. No, no you were not. Well, its time to move on. In the next chapter, Stewie Griffin shall fight ANOTHER opponent. Who is the next opponent? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what are we all waiting for? Let's move on to chapter 2 of this very epic miniseries...