Wandering Heart
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Dawson's Creek.
Coupling: Pacey/Andie
Rating: Pg-13
Shout Outs: To my friend Jo for proofing and to ellasblues for her encouragement.
Summary: This is set after the finale. This follows on from Saturday and leads into the week following.
Chapter Three: Fronting Up
He awoke alone in the bed. Looking around he remembered the night's events and a smile came to his lips. As per his encouragement, Andie had remembered everything. All that hesitation and nervousness was gone between them. In fact, making love with her was better this time around. There was no drama that they were running from or encroaching mental illness.
In the throes of passion he had declared his love for her and to his delight she had returned his feelings. Afterwards, they had cuddled and talked long into the night, only interrupting the conversation when the heat of their desire flared anew.
He heard her pottering around in the kitchen and grabbing his boxers he padded out towards the smell of fresh coffee and muffins.
She felt him gently grabbed her from behind and kissed her neck. She couldn't help but smile.
"Pacey, what's wrong with me? I can't stop smiling this morning."
"That McPhee is love."
She turned towards him and kissed him deeply.
"Slow down McPhee, I need some energy. You drained me last night." He kidded.
"What's the matter Pacey? Getting too old? She elbowed him in the ribs. "Can't you keep up with us young'uns?"
He tickled her. "I'll show you, you whippersnapper." They began to play fight that ended with them holding each other and kissing.
Breaking the kiss Andie said. "You know, I could get used to this."
"So could I McPhee."
Andie's smile faded. "Pacey, are you sure last night wasn't a mistake?"
"What are you saying Andie? Do you regret what happened?"
"No, no...it's just I can't make love to you and lose you again Pacey. My heart couldn't stand it. Not now."
"Andie. I'm not going anywhere. Look, I have to sort some things out sure. I mean I need to get the Icehouse back on track and I need to extricate myself from the hotel contract. But these are just temporary. I know what you said, but I just want to be with you Andie. And if it means starting somewhere new then that's what I'll do." He put his arms around her and kissed her forehead.
"Hell, I did it once. I can do it again. It's being with you is what I need. I have confidence that I'll land on my feet wherever I go. You know that about me McPhee, you gotta start having confidence in us, in me. Look we'll find a way for us to be together. You have to go back on duty tomorrow and I need to get home to Capeside to sort out the Icehouse and check up on Doug and Amy.
"What about Joey?"
"Well, I left everything sorted with her. I have everything I need here with me. Doug is storing some of my stuff but I was never one for material processions McPhee."
"So true Pacey. You never were."
"Andie, let's just enjoy today and we'll worry about the future tomorrow. I know that's a lot to ask of you hon, but are you with me.?"
"Pacey, I'm not that bad!"
"Riiight, uh huh. I bet you made a list of the pros and cons of getting back together with me when you woke up this morning."
She had to laugh. He knew her so well. That is why she felt so comfortable so connected to him, and why it had been so easy to let him back into her bed.
"Well, yes I did. But that's just because I needed to sort things out Pacey."
Pacey cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. "See McPhee, who says we don't belong together?
Andie looked into his blue eyes and felt herself being lost in their depth. God he could melt her with just a word or a look. This was not fair. Where things going too fast? He noticed that she was anxious about something.
"Look, I'm scared too if it helps. Andie, I'm haven't any idea of where we'll end up but all I now for sure is that we'll be together."
"And here I was thinking I was the optimistic one. Ok, you win Pacey. What shall we do today?"
"Well...we could start by going back to bed. I think a lie-in is in order don't you? "
At that he picked her up and took her to the bedroom. She tried to protest but it wasn't serious. She was falling back in love with him. It was like she had never stopped. In all that time apart she had convinced herself that she had gotten over him could move on but here they were, back together and once again lovers.
"Hmmm..." she murmured as she moved under the covers. "This time I think we'll take things slow Mr Witter." She waggled her eyebrows at him and leaned in for a kiss.
"Anything you say Miss McPhee anything you say."
They finally came up for air around lunchtime. They went out and found somewhere to eat. They talked over what would happen next and how they would begin life again as a couple. After an afternoon talking, cuddling and just being together, Pacey had to force himself to get into his car and make the return journey to Capeside. He reluctantly drove away from her apartment with a promise that as soon as he was through sorting out his professional life, he would return to her to begin sorting out their relationship. As he drove away seeing her diminishing in his rear-view mirror he noticed that he couldn't stop smiling. Pacey realised what this feeling was. It was hope for a brighter future. He wasn't sad or angry. He wasn't anxious. He was just happy. Simply happy and in love with the right person.
As his disappeared down the street, Andie paused and hugged herself. Pinch me, she thought, this must be a dream. That tiny spark of hope that she had carefully tended for so long was now towering inferno. She went upstairs and went into the bedroom to lie on the bed inhaling his scent. She shivered with pleasure at the memory of making love to him. It had been better than she ever thought it could be. It was almost like it was her first time again only this time it was in a bedroom and not in the back seat of his car. In spite of that little voice that wondered what the future would bring and how she should plan what would happen next, she just felt like letting go. Relax, she told herself and just let things happen in their own good time. She couldn't wait for him to return. She promised herself that this week she would bury herself in the work that awaited her in the morning. That way, the time could fly by until they could be together again. Together what a great word. It was the two of them and yes, they were together. She drifted off to sleep contented and happy. Yeah, she thought as sleep overcame her, really happy.
Doug and Jack were watching the television when Pacey arrived.
"Hey little brother." Doug turned at looked at Pacey who had just walked in from the kitchen.
"Hey Pace." Jack said without turning to look who it was.
"Hey guys. Um...Doug can we talk for a moment...ah, in private?"
Doug and Jack exchanged a look. Doug got off the couch and went out with Pacey to the kitchen.
"What is it Pacey?" He asked as he closed the door.
"Doug something's happened. Something really good-"
"So when were you going to tell me you've left Joey? You know she called here looking for you. She was crying on the phone saying you left her because of Dawson and that you don't love her anymore."
"Of course I love her Doug. It's just that I am not in love with her."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't pick up on that delicate distinction." Doug's tone turned sarcastic. "So what happened? You move in with her and then you realise that you don't love her anymore? What did you do Pacey?
"Doug, it's not like that. It's just that when I saw Andie again it kinda stirred up something inside."
"Andie? So that's where you were this weekend little brother. So you have been with her while Joey is beside herself with despair."
"Doug, what can I do? I'm in love with Andie and she's in love with me."
"And you know this how?"
"Because she told me. I knew it the minute I saw her again Doug. That magic was there. I can't deny it, I wanted that magic again."
"And so Joey was disposable was she? Pacey, she loves you and is heartbroken. You've abandoned her. Didn't you go through this drama some many years ago over Joey and wound up alone and heartbroken. Only then to mope around until you got back together with her?"
"She's got Dawson to lean on. Oh no, that's right Dawson's getting married. By the way thanks for not telling me. Seems I had to learn that from Andie." Pacey returned Doug's sarcasm. The problem was that Doug had him to rights and he knew it.
"Don't shoot the messenger Pace. From what I have been able to gather, you thought Joey was going to LA to be with Dawson only your snooping around her emails didn't provide you with the full story."
"Doug, I give it three months tops. As soon as Joey arrives in LA, Alana or whatever her name is will be history. You know it, I know it, and so do Joey and Dawson. It's her big chance Doug. She gets Dawson."
"When did you become so bitter little brother?"
"What do you mean? Doug she was prepared to move to LA without telling me and expected me to just drop everything and indulge her. I'm sorry but I couldn't do it again. I know things were difficult here when I left of New York but imagine how much worse they would be if I was right across the other side of the country?"
"You slept with her." It wasn't a question it was a statement. Doug guessed correctly judging by Pacey's reaction.
"Slept with who Doug?"
"Andie. You slept with Andie. I can tell."
"Does Jack know? Don't you tell him."
"Tell him what? That you have entered back into his sister's life and have become lovers again? I think he ought to know."
"It's too soon Doug. Look it just happened ok? I went to see her to see if these feelings were real, to make sure I wasn't just imagining things. And do you know what? They are real and she feels the same way Doug. We are in love."
"So what is this, true love? Are you taking up where you left off Pacey? Don't you remember she broke your heart?"
"I know but things are different this time Doug. We're a little older and definitely wiser this time around."
"I hope you know what you're doing Pacey. A lot of people stand to be hurt if you're wrong, including the man in there." He pointed in Jack's direction.
"Leave Jack to me. I'm back here to sort my life out Doug, starting with the Icehouse. Is it ok if I stay for a few days?"
"Of course it is little brother but I wont be your message boy for any ex or current or ex-ex girlfriends."
"Doug, I'd never thought you'd offer." Pacey grinned at him. "By the way, you got anything to eat? I'm staving."
Pacey true to his word spent the next few days sorting out the Icehouse. Steve was glad that Pacey was back and things quickly righted themselves. The married woman had been the reason Pacey had left Capeside wasn't around which was fortunate as far as Pacey was concerned. But he did see her husband on the street. He quickly darted into the bookstore then popped his head out to make sure the coast was clear before he continued on. He figured that it would pay to be careful in case the guy wanted a rematch including his two goons.
He called Andie on Monday night and they talked for a while. The conversation was fairly casual until Andie asked if Jack knew what had happened. Pacey confided that he hadn't had the chance to raise it with Jack yet and Doug was keeping out of the way. Andie felt that Jack had a right to know and that Pacey should be the one to tell him. She didn't want to do it by long distance. Pacey said he would and duly went over to old Capeside High the next afternoon. He found Jack in a classroom marking papers. The school hadn't changed much since he'd graced the halls he thought.
He nervously approached Jack and coughed to announce his presence.
"Hey Pacey."
"Hey Jack."
"What are you doing here? Reminiscing on your high school career?"
"I don't think so Jack. I was glad to get out of here. Too many sad memories for me here."
"Same, but I never would have thought I'd be back. But you know, it's a good school and now I'm in charge. Who knew I'd end up an English teacher like old Peterson? At least I never make a student read out his poetry in class."
"Yeah.". Pacey laughed. "I was so selfish and righteous. Remember I spat in his face? And made him leave?"
"Who can forget Pacey? They still talk about it even now."
"Really? Wow. What a legacy huh?"
Jack laughed. "Well a sort of a legacy Pacey.".
"Look Jack I came to talk to you about Andie."
"Really? Have you seen her?"
"Yeah, I was in Boston over the weekend. Um, there's something you should know about me and Andie Jack. We're together now."
Jack was taken aback at that. "But, you're with Joey in New York?"
"We were Jack. Strictly past tense."
"When...when did this happen?"
"Last week. It's over Jack. I'll always love Joey Potter but I am not in love with her. I'm in love with Andie. And maybe I always was."
"And now you're back with Andie? What are you doing? Rebounding with my sister?
"No Jack. I love her and she loves me. Real love Jack, not whatever it was with Joey."
"Now I understand. She called our place and spoke to Doug. I didn't catch all the conversation but it sounded to me like you two had a fight and you'd taken off."
"No. It wasn't like that at all. It was just that when I saw Andie in the hospital just before Jen passed away, it stirred something inside Jack. All these feelings came rushing back and I didn't want to ignore them."
"But Pacey, Andie is not something you can just play with and leave whenever you want. I'll tell you now that I won't stand for you playing around with her feelings like this. She deserves better than that Pace. You owe her that much."
"Jack, I love her. What more can I say? Whatever I had with Joey is over, gone. You gotta know that there was always a third person in our relationship?"
Dawson?
"And we have a winner. You can't tell me that you didn't see what a twisted mess it became. Me and Joey in New York and Dawson in LA recreating his past for television and at every step rewriting the past to fit his rose-coloured vision."
"Well...I was never happy with the way I was portrayed on that show. The Jimmy character is so not like me at all."
"How do you think I feel? I, or should I say Petey, lost both the girls Sam and Mandy and Colby got Sam in the finale. What does that tell you?"
"That Dawson can't let go of the past?"
"And neither can Joey. Now you know what happened Jack. I finally figured it out. I saw so clearly why I ended up unhappy when I was with Joey. I was always looking over my shoulder, waiting for Dawson to show up or for Joey to run back to him. She knows it, he knows it and so do I. I couldn't live like that man. At least with your sister, I have none of that baggage."
"But what about your past with Andie? She did break your heart and cheat on you."
"Ancient history Jack. What were we, sixteen? Stupid teenagers in love. But there is one thing I know that's real. And that's my love for her. Look, I'm not asking for your blessing Jack but I figured you ought to know."
"You're both old enough not to need my blessing Pace. But let me tell you this. Don't blow it Pacey. Don't go breaking her heart man. I don't want you running back to Joey."
"Jack, I promise you this. I won't be running back to Joey."
"Even though Dawson is getting married?"
"And how long do you give that marriage Jack?
"Why you know something?"
"Well let's just say that if lil Miss Potter arrives in LA anytime before or even after the wedding, poor Alana is going to be very lonely. And frankly I don't care anymore. I'm sick of being in the middle of whatever those two feel for each other. It's not love, it's..."
"Co-dependence?" Jack laughed.
"Yeah. Something unhealthy like that." Pacey shared the laugh and both men smiled at each other. "Funny isn't it. You, me, and Dawson all got tangled up with Miss Joey Potter. And we all had major life changing events happen to us."
They both laughed. But it was clearly understood that Pacey was on notice when it came to Andie. Jack wasn't going to let him forget his promise.
"I better get to the restaurant Jack. I'll catch you later." Pacey stood up and walked out of the class room.
"See ya Pacey. Don't forget, your promise man. I don't want to see her hurt. She's had enough pain in her life up to now."
Pacey stopped and looked at Jack. He nodded and turned away and walked out of the classroom, leaving Jack pondering how things were going to play out.