It was any other day for Squidward Q. Tentacles. His version of "any other day" was beyond tortured, though. A certain sea creature he's the neighbor of, known as Spongebob Squarepants, tortures him 24/7. That man child drives him crazy. He has been driving him crazy for years. Let's take a look at one of these "customary" days…
Our favorite octopus is showering. Alas, he is preparing to go to his workplace, the Krusty Krab, which is most likely his least favorite place in all of Bikini Bottom. He works there as the clerk and has to deal with the "little yellow idiot" there as well. What a great life, wouldn't you think?
"Great, it's almost my favorite part of my morning: going to work!" Squidward scoffs as he lathers his shiny, bald head with expensive soaps.
His skin crawled. That "grease trap" had been his workplace for quite some time, so long that he has seniority! Spongebob had decided to join the Krusty crew with support from his chubby chum, Patrick Star. Those two are an ignominy when they're together, which has to be ALL THE TIME! Squidward groaned. Patrick had been Squidward's neighbor longer than Spongebob had. Perfectly for Squidward's sake, they had to be best friends.
After shutting off the water, Mr. Tentacles quickly dries off and pulls on his un-buttoned shirt. Quickly, he chugs some chamomile tea and grabs his cap. He steps outside and is suddenly surrounded by yellow.
"Get off of me!" Spongebob just tackled him to the ground.
"Sorry, Squiddy! I'm just so excited to go to work today!" he grins as usual.
"Yeah, so am I." Squidward replies sarcastically.
"Great!"
"Squiddy" sighs since like every other time he uses sarcasm on the sponge, he takes it literally. No wonder this kid never went to college and is a fry cook for a living, Squidward snorts at his thought.
"What are you laughing at, Squidward?"
The cephalopod comes out of his mental curtain and realizes he is at the entrance of the Krusty Krab.
"None of your business, Spongebob, and if you don't mind, I would like to work in peace now," he enters his little cashier boat and gets sucked into a magazine.
Squidward Tentacles hates his cheap skate for a manager, Mr. Eugene Krabs. Even though he was in the Navy, he has a serious soft spot for anything with monetary value. Eugene always finds a fast way to get cash by, first of all, selling Krabby patties for around three dollars. If you want one with cheese, he could probably find a way to charge you ten bucks extra! Once he has this interminably growing pile of revenue, he keeps it all in his safe and thinks nothing of the salaries of his two employees. Spongebob, like the over-enthusiastic mortal he was, paid no mind to working for free.
Tap. A customer attempts to get the attention of the clerk. Tap, tap, tap.
"Yes, may I help you?" Mr. Tentacles finally gives in.
"I would like a Krabby patty, please," the fish orders.
"Spongebob, I need one patty!"
In less than a millisecond, the man child comes out with a steaming burger and screeches, "ORDER UP! ONE KRABBY PATTY!"
After doing the hand-off, he dances back into the kitchen.
"Yellow idiot," Squidward mumbles.
Spongebob began to sing. He always made his incessant songs about the burgers he made which drove Squidward mad.
"Would you please stop? I am trying to READ!"
"Sorry, Squidward, but this song is stuck in my head!"
"Well, go take a toilet plunger and get it out!" he laughs at the suggestion.
Of course, the optimistic sponge takes it seriously. For fifteen minutes, he's seen from the kitchen with a vulgar plunger jammed against his head. Along with it, he makes grunts of effort, which will soon arouse the wrath of Squidward.
"I didn't mean that literally!"
"Well, what did you mean then?"
"Ugh, never mind! Just make artery clogging food and do nothing else!"
The clock above strokes twelve. Thanks goodness, Squidward takes a deep breath, time to have some lunch.
"Mr. Squidward, you can take your break now!" Mr. Krabs says from his office.
Hungrily, Squidward rubs his hands together as he gazes at his nicely assembled kelp salad. He cherishes every last bite and frowns once it's all gone.
"Back to work, Mr. Squidward!"
Spongebob doesn't take his lunch breaks anymore. He is that passionate about his job. Easily, he could sneak a quick bite of a patty, though, which no one as innocent as him could refuse.
"Hey Squidward, want to go jelly fishing after work?" the recognizable high-pitched voice queries.
"Why would I, out of all people, do that with you?"
"I don't know, but I decided to take a shot."
"Well, good for you. I don't even like jelly fishing!"
"What do you like?"
"You already know. You basically stalk me all the time!"
"…Okay, then."
From what you've just read, their conversations were never good. Why would they be, anyways? Squidward hates the sponge (or this hatred was covering up a little secret, maybe?). You have to feel bad for Spongebob, though, since he always acts nice towards Squidward. He always wants to spend time with the octopus and will never give up. Now that was something Squidward should value.
Finally, we come down to the final moments of the cashier's shift. Once he is free to go, he saunters out of the doorway. His feeling of happiness is short-lived when he ends up having to walk home with You-Know-Who.
"Why must my shift end? Isn't it sad, Squidward?" the fry cook sobs.
"I'm glad to get out of there. It's repulsive when I smell that grill all day long," the octopus sticks out his tongue in disgust.
"How could you say that? The Krusty Krab is the greatest!"
"I'm not going through this again. Hopefully, you'll come to your senses when you wake up and you'll get a new profession!"
Quickly, Squidward enters his home. After eating some more kelp salad with tea, he goes upstairs to play his clarinet. His sour notes sound a little sweeter, probably since he's able to stay at home for the rest of the night. "House Fancy" is in the middle of a marathon, which is perfect for Squidward. Then, once bedtime grew nearer, the conceited creature brushes his teeth. Squidward Q. Tentacles suddenly falls into a deep slumber under all of his flannel sheets.