Summary: An AU that takes place in an alternate version of "The First Day of the Rest of Your Life." What if another choice had been made?

A/N: I saw some interesting interactions and was intrigued about the trajectory so... *sigh*

"Oh honey..."

Her head jerked up at the sound of his voice. She lightly fingered the charm that dangled from the sterling silver chain as she watched her little boy, with his dark curls and dimpled smile. Lost in thought, she smiled at him.

That is until, his father's eyes caught hers. He was smiling too, but at her. His smile slowly faded as he saw she wasn't smiling back. He exhaled, then looked back at their son. They were building a miniature fort out of blocks on the living room floor.

She turned away, looking out the window as the sun began to set, still fingering the chain lightly, remembering, worrying what he would think.

'Just because the gristle is harder to chew, doesn't mean it won't still fill you up,' he'd say.

She may have been full, but she didn't feel nourished.

Her eyes fluttered closed as a quiet gasp escaped her lips at the thought of him. His pale blue eyes, his soft smile...

"Sasha."

She turned as she felt his heavy hand on her shoulder. He placed it down gently, but it still felt like a weight. His other hand snaked around her body, placing it on the slowly emerging bump at her abdomen. "He wants you to come play, too."

Sasha, eyes still forward, nodded. "I know. And I will."

He sighed at her neck, then dropped his forehead on her shoulder. He was exhausted, emotionally, waiting on the one thing she could never - would never - give him.

Her love.

"Let me guess. You're waiting on me to leave, right?" Mouth close to her ear, he whispered, "Not gonna happen." He turned her around so she'd have to face him. And she did, stared him down, unblinking.

He looked away first.

"We had a deal," he murmured.

"And I'm here, aren't I?" she said. "One big family."

"I like how you omitted the 'happy' part of that," he said sarcastically.

"Yeah well," she shrugged. "I wanted to be honest."

"Uncle Eugene!" Negan yelled.

Seconds later, Eugene emerged from the kitchen, a silicon spatula in his hand, coated in chocolate. "Can you make this quick? I'm making fudge and I don't care for my butterscotch burning."

Negan smiled. "Mind taking Leo in the kitchen with you? I'm sure he'll wanna be your taste tester."

Eugene looked between Negan and Sasha, then looked at the toddler on the floor, oblivious to the tension in the room as he continued to stack his blocks. Handing the spatula to Leo, he scooped him up in his arms, and retreated to the kitchen.

Once they were gone, Negan looked back at her. "Four years ago, you made a deal with me. You set most of the rules, and I gave in - to all of them. I did that for you Sasha. I changed everything for...hell, I got rid of the violence, and all of my wives for you." Negan gave a self-deprecating smile. "Because I wanted a queen. And a queen you are," he said with true admiration, gently stroking the loosened tendrils of her hair. Part of their deal was that she's let her hair down, literally, on the weekends. "I just wish you could love-"

"Don't," she whispered quietly, but fiercely.

Negan sighed, giving up. For now. Still, he gently kissed her forehead. "You didn't want anyone else to die...and no one did. You won. Remember that." He stepped back, taking her in. "In five months, we'll have another child together. We're a family, Sasha. This is it - for both of us."

Sasha looked at him, head raised, and tears welled in her eyes that she refused to let fall. "I know. I accept that."

"Maybe one day you'll accept-"

"Stop."

"- that I love you. Because I do. And I know that I'm not him," he said, gesturing at her necklace. "But honey, I'm all you've got. It's me and it's you until one of us stops breathing."

Sasha crossed her arms, looking away. "You gonna shave?"

Negan's fingers fluttered to his five o'clock shadow. "Yeah...sorry."

"Do you know..." She paused, composing herself. "Do you know how hard it is to look at him, because he looks so much like you?" The tears fell at that. "I love that little boy with all of my heart. But I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder who he'll become. I don't want him to be like you. Ever."

"Lucky for him he has a helluva mother then," Negan said with a sad smile. "I'm gonna help him and Eugene in the kitchen as I do believe they are making some fine fudge. I hope you join us." He turned away, leaving her alone.

Sasha looked out the window once again, the sky filling with brilliant shades of orange and purples as the sun continued its descent. She heard her son laugh and smiled.

She was still here. And she would be okay; she had to be.

Taking a deep breath, she headed towards the kitchen.