Holli Would, an X-Men?
Genre: Humor/Crossover
Rating: K+
Characters: Holli W. and Cyclops/Scott S.
When Magneto threatens to bomb the New York Yankees stadium, the X-Men rush into action, with help from a mysterious 'doodle' named Holli Would. After this story, New York will never be the same…
"Quick! There's no time to waste! Magneto's escaped from prison and has planted a chemical bomb in the basement of the New York Yankees stadium! We have to get there now!" Cyclops ordered as the X-Men rushed into the stadium. "I can show you where he is." A female voice purred. Scott turned to see a blonde young woman standing by the now-empty food court. She looked human, but the real unusual thing was…she's made of ink. "Hello, Holli." Scott replied. "You know this chick, bub?" Logan grunted, his claws drawn if necessary. "Jean and I met her during our stay in Arizona. Don't worry; she's been long since reformed. C'mon Holli, it's all right. It's good. Um, introductions: Colossus, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, Boom-Boom, Iceman, Gambit, Storm, Psylocke, Spyke, Jean Grey, Angel, Avalanche, Wolverine and…me." Scott said, finished with introducing his comrades. Holli smiled and said "Nice to meet all of you. I take it you recall where I come from. It's a long story. You know the rule. Noids are not…" before Cyclops finished it "…allowed to have sex with doodles. I already saw the movie 3 times. Now can we get down to business? Oh right, guest ally, right." Holli nodded in acknowledgment and headed down the basement steps with the other X-Men in tow, while Cyclops and Wolverine observed Holli. "So what's the plan? Don't tell me we're riskin our lives savin' this stadium by taking orders from some fish-out-of-water?" Wolverine grumbled. "Logan…Holli's gonna be leading the way. We follow her, we find the bomb, and we dispose of the bomb. We find Magneto, we dispose of Magneto." Cyclops replied jokingly as he and Wolverine followed the group. "Why didn't she bring that lowdown detective with her?" Wolverine asked gruffly
"That's another complicated story." Holli commented before stopping as she saw Blob blocking the entrance to the stadium. "Uh-uh, Magneto says no one is going through me, unless you want to get hurt really painfully." Blob taunted, sneering. "Um, may I have this tub of lard?" Holli asked, wanting to beat the living daylights out of Blob for his insulting manners. "Hey; you want to impress us, be my guest." Rogue simply scoffed. Holli then took a powerful jab to Blob's groin, doubling the overweight mutant in severe agony. "Now are you going to let me and my pals through, or am I going to make you chew on your own blubbery skin?" Holli warned, as Blob clutched his injured body part. "ok, ok, I'll let you guys go through, just don't hurt me" Blob whined, limping out. "what a sissy. He aint that tough." Spyke chuckled before the X-Men and their new ally found Magneto and Mystique putting the finishing touches on the bomb.
"Hold it right there, gramps! Don't you know better than playing with large explosives?" Holli taunted, baring her animated buttocks as she mooned the two evil mutants. Even the X-Men found this funny. "You have a very warped sense of humor Jean, you know that?" Logan snarled as Jean was giggling ecstatically, slapping her knee. "and just who the bloody hell are you?" Magneto roared, outraged by this new opponent. "the name's Holli Would. I could beat you til you bleed if I would… and I will." Holli boasted, revealing a sledgehammer from underneath her dress. With a mighty swing, she sent Mystique rocketing into a nearby wall. "How on Earth?" Magneto gasped before Jean grabbed him by the neck. "Now… let me show you what real pain feels like." Jean growled, getting out her whip.
Several whip-lashes, beatings and several amounts of fighting later…
"well, the bomb's defused. Thank god you got here in time." A bomb squad officer reported, as SHIELD officers carted Magneto away on an ambulance stretcher. "By the way, who the heck's that hot dame in the Marilyn Monroe dress?" a detective piped up, observing Holli's sensual look. "Her name's Holly. She's…. not from around here." Jean explained, the officer nodding, understanding what Jean meant. "well, tell Holly she's more than welcome to visit New York anytime she wants to" the officer replied, tipping his hat before the police sped off. "well, I got to say, being a heroine does have its perks." Holly confessed, actually enjoying the thrill of defending people.
"so what do you say? You want in?" Evan asked, holding out his hand. Holly smiled brightly and took it. "consider the offer accepted." Holly commented. "then by the authority vested in me, you, Holly Would, are now an official member of the X-Men!" Scott proclaimed, placing a new X-Belt on Holly.
"welcome to our world Holly. We know you'll make a difference." Jean added, as the heroes headed back to the Xavier Mansion