A/N: Yes, I am actually writing an "I got sucked into the game" fiction. Yes, I do realize there have been quite a lot of these lately. No, I don't really care if you're sick of them and I should at least get kudos for this not being about RE 4 or 5. I am doing this purely for the amusement of my friend and myself, and I figured I'd post it to see if anyone else found it amusing as well. Also it's helping me get back into the flow of writing since I've gotten stuck ion Undisclosed Desires which I am seriously considering re-writing to those of you who care. So please don't flame me about this. I guess this is also kind of a test to see if I'm actually funny or not.

Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil, never will.

T for language and violence.

Also this definitely won't stick straight to the game cause if it did my brain would probably explode trying to do so. So some things are going to be different. And I have to say that writing in third person about myself is pretty damn cool. Enjoy.

Prologue

"I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can…" The blonde teen muttered, much to her friend, Alissa's amusement. The pair was watching the opening cut scene for Resident Evil: Remake and had caught sight of Wesker.

"I really wonder why he wears those sunglasses before his eyes turn all cat-ish." Alissa said, watching as one of the zombie dogs jumps out of the bushes and attacks Frost.

"Cause…he likes to smoke the pot?" The blonde, Lindsey, suggested lamely. Alissa snorted in response. "Well it'd explain why his eyes are red all the time." Lindsey said, trying half-heartedly to defend her suggestion.

"Or maybe he really likes to stare at women's boobs and doesn't want them to notice." Alissa suggests, causing Lindsey to burst out in laughter.

"Of course! I always knew that beneath that cool exterior of his there was a pervert just waiting to come out!" Lindsey exclaimed, finally able to take control of Chris Redfield and made her way to the dining hall.

After running out of things to do at her house Lindsey had suggested showing Alissa what the first Resident Evil game was all about, as she had only really played Resident Evil 5. Alissa had told Lindsey that she'd just prefer to watch, but Lindsey had said that she'd make her play it after a bit.

"Wait, where'd Chris' gun go?" Alissa said after a moment.

"Clumsy ass dropped it." Lindsey muttered, running away from the zombie that had been snacking on Kenneth. "Hmm…I wonder where Jill and Wesker went…Oh look a gun! Could it belong to Jill?" She said speaking to no one in particular as Chris re-entered the mansion's foyer.

"Wouldn't he find that suspicious at all?" Alissa asked.

"It's Chris, of course he wouldn't!" Despite how much she made fun of the characters and the games sometimes, Lindsey loved playing and writing about them. "Now let's go investigate this creepy mansion in the middle of the creepy forest."

"So wait…you got that whistle just so you could walk all the way to the other side of the mansion, willingly subject yourself to an attack by zombie dogs, just to get a fake key that will let you get a real key?" Alissa asked, pushing a strand of auburn hair behind her ear.

"Yup! Welcome to survival horror. That crap was easy compared to some of the other running around you have to do. Not mentioning all the annoying but easily put together puzzles."

"And you find it fun?"

"Of course! If you would just play you could find out."

"Fine, give me the controller." Lindsey passed over the Gamecube controller and suggested that Alissa just walk around a bit before really doing anything so she could get used to the controls. After doing so and learning all the buttons she made her way to raven room.

"Okay, there's going to be a crimson head in the next room. Don't shoot him, just run to the door that will be right in front of you." Lindsey told her.

"Okay."

"Don't freak out, he'll be fast, and he's got claws and makes a really creepy moaning sound. Like more creepy than just regular zombies…but not as creepy as Regenerators ya know?" Lindsey rambled.

"Shut up! You're just freaking me out even more." Alissa said, going through the door that would have a crimson head on the other side. "Hey! He's just lying on the-AH!" Alissa screamed as the crimson head rose off the floor and began chasing her.

"Yeah, he'll do that." Lindsey said, watching as Alissa steered Chris into relative safety on the other side of the door. A creaking noise could be heard behind them and Lindsey whipped around quickly, only to see that one of her cats had made its way into the room.

"Jumpy?" Alissa asked, smirking.

"Shut up! You know I'm paranoid. You won't mock me when I save your life someday."

"Just because you sleep with a bat by your bed doesn't mean you'll be prepared to use it." Alissa had now gotten the key in the death trap room.

"How would you like me to use it on you?" Lindsey asked jokingly.

"Ooh! I'm scared."

"You should be. I kill zombies in my spare time." They both laughed at this. "Man what time is it?" Lindsey asked rubbing at her eyes. Alissa checked her cell phone.

"It is…one o' clock."

"Hmm, you tired at all?" Alissa nodded in response, and paused the game. "Wanna go to bed?"

"Sure."

"Okay, uh…crap I really don't want to walk all the way to a save room."

"Isn't there a type writer in the dining room?" Alissa asked.

"Oh…oh yeah." Lindsey said, and walked Chris back to the dining room to save the game. Alissa got up to go to the bathroom but stopped when she heard Lindsey gasp loudly.

"What is it?" She asked turning to face her much shorter friend.

"Look at the screen." The Umbrella logo had appeared, taking the place of the usual save screen. "What the-" Suddenly the screen lit up brightly, causing the two friends to shield their eyes. Both felt as if they were falling forward, and then all went black.