Title: Easily Distracted AN: Okay, this is the rewrite of one of the stories I lost yesterday. I just hope I can make it *************************************************
Author: Reno-Sinclair/Karma's On The Way
Rating: Bordering on M
Word Count: 1066
Pairing: Undertaker/William/Grell
Warnings: Yaoi, Implied smut, Vaguely modern-day, still Kuro-world. (they've been together for a LONG TIME.)
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys. Nor do I own Muffin the Chainsaw. Those are Yana Toboso's. However, I do own the NAME Muffin the Chainsaw, and I do own (most of) the plot. For the story. XD Here we go.
Summary: Undertaker and Grell really are masterminds of evil, sometimes. William finds this out for the umpteenth time and wonders why he's always so shocked about it.
Smash. Rrrrrrrrrr. Bzzzzht. Flutter, crash, crash, crash. Bang, bang, bang.
The scream of glass falling then shattering on the ground met the poor brunet's ears as he did his best to ignore the noises from the room beside him. He'd been at this all day, trying to ignore what his lovers had been at all day. Why had he thought it was a good idea to give Grell Sutcliffe the office right next door to his own? At first, it had been to keep an eye on the rambunctious, psychopathic, flamboyant, sexy- No. Not those thoughts. He'd had to keep a close eye on Grell at first, and that was fine. And then Grell managed to hook up with Undertaker.
While his paperwork and job was fulfilled perfectly, there was still an odd amount of noise coming from his office every so often. Soft mewls and purrs that he thought he was hiding, along with growls that shook the entire workplace on occasion. I always knew what was going on, but because of who was involved, I was required to keep my mouth shut. You don't speak out against legendary Shinigami unless you want to join the ranks of those they rid the world of. It was just a lot easier to ignore it as best he could and take his work to the cafeteria and set up his office in there until the "lunch lady" booted him out for drinking all of her coffee.
It wasn't so much a problem that there was the sudden roar of a chainsaw, whose name was Muffin for some unknown reason, followed by the feathery splitting of some ancient tome or another. It didn't bother him that picture frames and paper weights were smashed on the floor and scuffled into the carpet to wait until someone walked the carpet barefoot to attack. It had nothing to do with the fact that Muffin was tearing holes in the walls. It had everything to do with the other noises being made in the office next door.
"Ahhhh~ T-taker, ooh, d-deeeeeeper!" Followed by loud growls, grunts and shrill moans and cries of pleasure.
It grates on one's nerves on a normal day, sure, but on a day when you're filling out your lover's paperwork because you don't want your other lover to boot you out of the coffin built for three because that certain redhead couldn't come to work yesterday because HE couldn't walk? Well, that was just cruel. And it was rapidly driving poor William up the wall. He'd already listened to it for six hours, six long, grueling hours of focusing on Grell's reports and other necessary paperwork, six hours of putting off his own important dispatches and work in order to save himself from a lonely night in the "No No Coffin".
And why did he do this? Because of Undertaker's incessant mantra of, "It's only polite to treat a lady right." It didn't seem that he had ever taken a proper anatomy class, because there was no way in Hell that Grell was a woman. He had too much penis and not enough breast. Sure, he gallivanted around in dresses and skirts, refusing to wear pants and 'mask his femininity', but that didn't mean he was a lady. He always spouted this nonsense about how who you were wasn't defined by what you hid in your pants (or skirts, respectively), but about your mindset. Well, in that case, then William must have been a slave, because he sure felt like one.
A very loud wail from Muffin and it tore through the thin wall between the two offices and cut a water pipe in the process. Then, twin grins appeared and it was all he could do to see one jade eye and one fluff of hair.
"William, you really should come and join us. You've been trying to do the same report for six hours." Undertaker smiled a little. "Our lady will be quite disappointed if you stay out of the fun for too long."
"Go away, Undertaker, Sutcliffe, I am trying to work." Somehow, the pair managed to patch the hole up rather quickly before going back to their loud shenanigans. Which, for the record, William disapproved of. Very highly disapproved of.
It only took another thirty minutes of their loud voices and the sounds of destruction before William finally pushed away from his desk, stood up, pushed up his glasses and left his office. He barged into Grell's, expecting to find him naked and pushed against the desk with Undertaker defiling him in every way possible. He was greeted with quite the surprise.
Both men were fully clothed, sitting around a broken photo frame of the three of them, staring at it while smacking against the wall and desk and floor, moaning and growling and making all sorts of noises. Even the chainsaw sat beside Grell and purred its contentment to having been used on the desk that was cracked neatly in half.
When the pair finally realized they had been discovered, they each offered twin shit-eating grins and smiled.
"Welcome, Will! Would you like to play with us, now? We've been waiting for hours!" There weren't any tell-tale stains anywhere, no messes other than rampant destruction...and William actually growled.
"You two have been faking all day to get me in here for real sex?" He growled, trying hard to keep himself from pouncing on the two and strangling them.
"Willie~" Oh no, that was the pouty voice, "We were only trying to get you to spend some time with us. You worked all night last night." A pathetic sniffle after that and it seemed that some of the brunet's physical anger seeped away. Grell always knew how to disarm him, at least a little bit.
"Alright, fine. But after that, you're doing your own paperwork, since you came in today." Was that a hint of a smile on those lips? "I still have a lot to do."
"...okay." But it was obvious from that tone that William would have more to do because dear Grelliebean would get out of doing it. Well, the paperwork. Another "it" was a different story entirely.
And, so began the real screams of ecstasy and breaking of objects during sexual passion, spurring on passersby to make their way that much faster past the office of Grell Sutcliffe.
********************************************* AN: I hope that was okay. I actually kind of like it. 8D Poor Will, though. I can just picture the look on his face when he sees that they aren't really having sex. It's priceless. I wish I could draw well enough to draw it. Anyway, that's it for this post. 3 Much love.