So. I had an interesting year. It was amazing and I owe it all to one little mix tape. One mix tape that started a friendship that blossomed into romance. One mix tape that took a catholic student on the adventure of his life. One mix tape that made people laugh and cry. One mix tape was all it took to make my life complete.
Track One: Goody Two Shoes by Adam and the Ants
It was a normal day for me. Get up at 6 AM. Brush teeth. Shower. Eat. Brush teeth again. Get dressed in uniform. Take the city bus to school. Go to class. It was the middle of the day and I was walking down the hall to my next class when something flew by me and into the trash. A thin girl with shoulder length red hair was sneering after what she threw away, shaking her head.
"If he seriously thinks he can win me over with a mix tape, he's crazy," the girl said. I didn't know who she was, but I didn't like her already. As she was walking away, I looked into the trash and pulled out what she threw away. It was a mix tape that had a cover that was decorated with some interesting drawings. To Kairi. From Axel. I shrugged, not knowing who he was, and put it in my bag. I would listen to it later. After class. Maybe when I was doing my homework.
Class was as boring as usual. Not that I had a problem with school; I just wasn't that into Economics. It confused me. There were too many numbers and I just couldn't get it. So I was relieved when I got home and remembered the tape I had found. I put it in my cassette player and hit play. Waves of music hit me as I sat at my desk and I found myself distracted by the music. I sat there, listening to the music, the feeling pumping through me. I hit stop and smiled. Whoever it was that made this tape had amazing taste in music.
It turns out that the girl I mentioned earlier had thrown out a lot of tapes by him. I couldn't control myself and I went for every tape she threw away. I was never disappointed. The music began to make me feel elevated. I was upset or bored every time I was without it and every time I listened it was like I was on drugs. Which I never was. I am a good catholic and a good student. Music was just my escape from everything. It was like I could escape from the boring of my life and be someone adventurous. Someone amazing. I even began to picture the guy who made the tapes. He was handsome, all the ladies loved him, except the stupid girl at school, and his eyes were a beautiful brown. His hair was a long and flowing chestnut color with honey highlights. He was muscular and rode around in a red convertible. He was rich and full of adventure. I wanted to meet him.
Track Two: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
She still wasn't accepting the tapes I sent her. I couldn't understand why. I mean not to brag, but I had amazing taste in music and I sent her all the best songs I had. Apparently, she just threw them away the minute she found them. It was aggravating and I felt the cold sting of rejection again. Like when she had told me she hated me wasn't enough. I can't help it. It's not like I asked for it. And she was too religious to see me for who I am, instead of who I love. Like she said, sister or not, she wanted nothing to do with me. Fucking church. Fucking family. FUCKING LIFE.
My family left me at home today. Left me here all alone. They didn't wake me up for school or breakfast. Hell, I would have gone to church if they wanted me to. Just to be with them. Just because I was gay didn't mean I didn't believe in God. I'm not a heathen. I loved church. They just pushed me away and told me I wasn't welcome. Here I thought God loved all his children. I wanted, with all my heart, to be helped and brought up. It's depressing and confusing. I don't know who I am and I had a hard time figuring out it was ok to feel the way I do. So I'll wait here for them. I'll wait and hope they come back happy.
Turns out someone had been taking the tapes. She granted me with her presence to tell me. Apparently, a blonde boy would always take them. I hope he listened to them. It's what they were meant for anyway and if Kairi wasn't going to listen to what I tried to send her, he could. Maybe he'd get something out of it. Something good. My music was my escape. Music was just my escape from everything. It was like I could escape from the loneliness of my life and be someone loved and popular. Someone. I even began to picture the guy who took the tapes. He was punkish yet cute and his eyes were a beautiful green, like mine. His hair short and some vibrant neon color to rebel against the school. He was thin but strong and wore lots of pins and chains. He was friendly and a beautiful person when you got to know him. I wanted to meet him. Needed to.