A/N: Hello, I don't really know where this came from. It might be my inner urge to write little Kurt. I'm not sure how it is, I'm not really a good judge. But I hope you guys like it. This one took me a little bit to write, but it's only a oneshot. The title comes from a Panic!AttheDisco's song. I've recently been listening to their Pretty Odd album, it's my favorite on nice days. But I'm pretty sure the title is the only thing that relates, you'll see why. I don't know if I'll keep up with using songs or lyrics as my titles. I'm never really good at thinking of them on my own. I always feel they'll be cheesy or stupid. So I guess I'll go with this. I hope everyone likes it!/
Blaine's fingers pressed hesitantly at the keys, pausing notes filling the air. He shouldn't be here; this was Kurt's special place. He should be with Kurt instead. If only he could actually stand in that room for more than ten minutes without breaking down.
It was his fault, he'd promised to protect Kurt and then he'd broken that promise. The blame could be placed any number of ways; Kurt, for not being aware of where he was, Karofsky, for pushing Kurt, the Janitor, for not putting a wet floor sign at the top of the stairs. But, Blaine blamed himself; he hadn't gone with Kurt when he'd asked if he wanted to go with to visit his friends at McKinley. He wasn't there when Kurt needed his promised protection.
Kurt was in a coma, and Blaine couldn't even visit him because of his own guilt. Burt and the Warblers had tried time and again to convince him that it wasn't his fault, that there wasn't anything he could have done. Blaine wouldn't believe it until he heard it from Kurt's lips, and maybe not even then.
So this was where Blaine spent his Saturday afternoon while his boyfriend lay in a hospital bed. He was sitting at the piano in the auditorium at Dalton. Kurt always came here when he was upset, needing something to work on to distract his mind. Blaine would come with sometimes, and would watch Kurt's long delicate fingers work their way across the black and white keys.
By being here, Blaine supposed it was a way of being close to Kurt without actually seeing him. He knew in some part of his mind that Kurt would be angry with him for not visiting. But the overwhelming guilt was crushing that part of his brain. Why couldn't he have said yes? He knew Karofsky would have to be somewhere in that school. Why had Blaine insisted on finishing his essay on their day off of school instead of being with his boyfriend?
Choking back a few tears, Blaine pressed his fingers to the piano a little more firmly. Instead of random notes, music began to flow freely from the instrument. Blaine closed his eyes, trying to picture Kurt next to him, happy and awake.
"Hiya Blainey" The childish voice broke through Blaine's concentration. Startled, the teen looked down to find a young boy sitting next to him on the bench. The boy couldn't be older than five, his short legs swinging back and forth from their suspended position. His small hands gripped the black wooden seat to prevent himself from falling off.
"Who are you?" Blaine's fingers stopped on the keys and his hand fell flat, making the piano emit a garbled mash of notes.
"You don't know who I am Blainey?" The boy looked up at him with wide blue-green eyes. Blaine took a moment to take in the boy's perfectly styled, for a five year old, hair, the stylish clothes complete with a little bow tie.
"K-Kurt?" Blaine asked certain he must have gone insane.
"Yep" The child said happily looking back down to his feet. Blaine meanwhile was trying to stay as calm as possible while trying to figure this out. Certainly there was a good explanation for why he was able to talk to a five year old version of his boyfriend.
"Why are you here Kurt?" Blaine quietly asked. His eyes were on the piano rather than the small figure next to him.
"Big Kurt is sleeping, he doesn't feel good. So I'm here, because Big Kurt is worried about you. Everyone comes to visit us, Daddy, Carole, Finny, glee club. But no Blainey. " Kurt answered bringing one of his small hands up to grab onto one of Blaine's.
"I can't, this was my fault and I can't" Blaine stood abruptly, knocking over the bench. The boy had already disappeared even before Blaine picked up his bag and walked his way out of the auditorium.
It was his mind, which was what Blaine concluded as he walked back to his dorm. He was having hallucinations out of guilt. He'd seen pictures of Kurt when he was five at his house, and his brain had made the small child as a way to make him see the thoughts he'd been pushing back.
Blaine laid back on his bed staring at the ceiling. It was Saturday night; he should be out on a date with Kurt. They would go to the movies and get terribly overpriced popcorn. Blaine would hold Kurt's hand throughout the entire film, occasionally, they would kiss. Afterword, they would pull up to the Hummel-Hudson residence and Blaine would walk Kurt to the door. He'd steal one last kiss before Kurt went back into the house.
Hours past, Blaine wasn't sure when he fell asleep. He woke up in the late morning, sunlight streaming through the windows of his and Kurt's shared dorm. Fingers rubbed tiredly at the tear tracks on his cheeks. Blaine wasn't sure what he'd dreamed about this time, but it always involved Kurt.
Trying to tell Blaine to live without Kurt would be to remove the sun from his universe. This all sounds a little melodramatic for a high school romance, but high school romances are all about drama. Besides that, Kurt had become such a fixture in Blaine's life. Even if they weren't dating, to lose Kurt would leave Blaine lost as well.
There wasn't any noise from the hallway, which either meant that not many boys had stayed for the weekend or they had already woken up and went on their way. Blaine was happy for that at least, he wouldn't have to talk to anyone. He couldn't handle it when people would come up to him and ask him about Kurt, or offer their apologies.
Blaine's clothes were wrinkled, but he didn't bother changing them before he headed into the hall. He walked down the halls, the sound of his feet hitting the floor filling the silence. His hand paused on the auditorium door, not sure if he was up to this again. Blaine wanted to talk to Kurt though, even if it was the five year old Kurt from his imagination.
"Hello?" Blaine called pushing open the doors.
"Kurt?" Blaine tried again, walking down to the stage. There wasn't any response so Blaine hopped up onto the stage heading for the piano. He slumped down onto the bench, wondering how meeting with this little Kurt worked. Surely his own mind wouldn't make it that complicated.
Blaine tried to remember what he'd been doing when the child had shown up. His hands rested on the keys, and he played a few notes. He'd been playing before Kurt had come, so Blaine let it drift into a soft melody.
"Hiya Blainey" Said a soft voice next to him.
"Hiya Kurtie" Blaine said sadly, his fingers stopping.
"Are you mad at me?" The small boy asked with his his eyes on his shoes.
"No, Kurt, I'm not"
"Then why did you run away?"
"Because I'm sad and angry at myself"
"Big Kurt says you shouldn't"
"Shouldn't what?"
"Be mad at yourself"
"I can't help it"
"Big Kurt is sad. He loves you an awful lot Blainey."
"I know he does"
"Then why won't you see him?"
"Because, it's my fault he's there. I should have gone with you that day" Blaine was startled when a small hand reached up and smacked his face. It was fairly hard for someone who was so small.
"What was that for?" Blaine rubbed at his cheek while the small child giggled.
"Big Kurt said I could do that if you started saying bad stuff about yourself"
"He knows me too well"
"Big Kurt really misses you Blainey. Please go visit him. He said to tell you that he knows you feel bad, but having you there is good for him"
"Alright, I can try to see Kurt"
"Okay! See you later Blainey" Blaine looked over to find the stylish five year old gone.
Blaine went to see Kurt that afternoon. He did nothing more than sit be his bedside, lost in thought while Burt Hummel took a nap in another chair. But Blaine couldn't deny it felt nice to be near Kurt again, at least one where he wasn't sure was a figment of his imagination. He watched other visitors come and go; all seemed surprised that Blaine was there after his long absence.
Burt forced him to go home when visiting hours where almost over. Blaine promised that he'd be back there the next day.
Sleeping came easier to Blaine that night, even if he did still wake up with tears on his face. It was late morning again, and despite it being a Monday, Blaine wouldn't be going to class. Everyone knew what had happened to Kurt, and everyone agreed that Blaine would be in no condition to go to class.
His days for the next few days went by pretty much the same. Blaine would stop by the auditorium in the morning, chatting with a kid who may or may not be a hallucination. Then he would go to the hospital and spend his time by Kurt's beside. Eventually, Burt would tell Blaine to go home. Blaine still woke with tears on his cheeks, but he didn't blame himself as much.
It was about a week after their first encounter that Blaine was laying in the middle of the stage with five year old Kurt beside him. Blaine no longer cared if the boy wasn't real; it was a comfort to talk to him. The pair was holding hands; Kurt's soft, small little hand clutched in Blaine's much larger calloused hand.
"I think Daddy is happy Blainey is there"
"Really? He doesn't show it very much"
"Daddy just isn't good at showing his feelings; he was a lot more stressed when you were gone. He cares about you too you know, that's why he makes you go to bed every night. Daddy also told school that you shouldn't go"
Blaine remained silent, wondering how his brain could possibly have that information. He simply decided that the school had told him Burt Hummel had called at one point and he hadn't been listening closely, leaving his brain to store it.
"Big Kurt says I have to go soon" Kurt said quietly, almost sadly.
"Where are you going?" Blaine questioned his heart pounding.
"I don't know" The boy said simply, his spare hand picking at the corner of his shirt.
"Can't you stay any longer?" Blaine was practically pleading, he didn't know what it meant by Little Kurt leaving and he feared for the worst.
"No, Big Kurt says I can't. He says it's something important" Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand before gently tugging it away.
"He didn't tell you what was important?" Blaine sat up, trying to keep his brain from going into overload. He tried to remind himself that this was only created by his mind, but his concern for Kurt overruled that.
"No, he just said it was really, really important and that I have to say goodbye to you" The child stood, brushing off imaginary dust just as the larger version would have.
"G-Goodbye?" Blaine's voice shook, trying to place this all together. Kurt couldn't be saying goodbye, he couldn't be giving up. He reached out to grab Little Kurt's hand but the boy had already moved away toward the piano.
"Yep, Big Kurt says I have to go now. Bye Bye Blainey" With that the small Kurt disappeared, leaving a stunned Blaine on the stage.
When he finally regained himself, Blaine stood quickly and raced out of the auditorium. He was surprised he made it to the hospital without being pulled over and handed a speeding ticket. Blaine probably would know the way to Kurt's room even if blindfolded. A few nurses did yell at him for running though.
Burt looked startled when Blaine burst into the room, nearly spilling the coffee he was drinking. Blaine quickly looked around the room, but found nothing out of place and nothing to indicate anything was wrong with Kurt. Sighing in relief, he plopped into his usual seat by Kurt's bed, his hand reaching up to hold Kurt's hand much like he'd been holding Little Kurt's hand.
"Mind telling me what that was all about kid?" Burt Hummel spoke gruffly, setting his coffee down.
"I was just worried, Mr. Hummel, it was nothing." Blaine smiled softly, his thumb tracing circles into the back of Kurt's hand.
"I've told you to call me Burt. But it's nice to see you smile again Blaine, Kurt wouldn't want you so down" Burt settled back, opening his paper and picking up his coffee again. They sat together in the room, silent but for the occasional flutter of Burt's newspaper.
Blaine's mind had been wandering when he wore he felt a gentle pressure on the hand holding Kurt's. He wrote it off as his hopeful thinking until it happened again. Blaine nearly knocked over his chair he stood up so fast. He could hear Burt doing the same
"Kurt?" He hovered over Kurt, trying to see any signs that he was awake. He held his breath as he watched Kurt's eyes flutter open.
"Hiya Blainey" Kurt said softly with a smile, and Blaine wasn't entirely sure he'd heard it. Kurt blinked a few more times.
"Blaine? Where are we?" Kurt asked, sounding less like the little boy Blaine had been seeing the past few days. Blaine ignored Kurt's question for now, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead.
"Hiya Kurtie"