How, Iruka thought yet again, did I get myself into this?
He stood in front of a full-length mirror watching, stunned, as the reflection before him turned into something unrecognizable. Seemingly random people, the majority women, approached him and without so much as an introduction, stripped and redressed him. Even as he objected and promised retribution ("I know your mother, Ino-chan!), the onslaught of colors and fragrances were unstoppable.
It was Naruto's fault. A vein pulsed on his forehead. Bakayaro Naruto! If any former student calls a teacher from afar yelling 'Hurry, hurry!' the teacher has to follow. But as quickly as the anger had come, it was gone. An inside voice chided him. Iruka, this auction is for your school's benefit, its almost expected that you help out. Look, even Shikamaru is participating.
The genius in question was currently struggling with the tie that Temari had handed him. Iruka smiled as Shikamaru struggled with tying the knot, all his expertise in other areas. Temari held down his collar as he worked, wrinkles appearing as fast as she smoothed them.
But Shikamaru knew from the beginning, Iruka argued with himself. He groaned. Arguing with inside voices was never a good thing. If Kakashi had shown I wouldn't be in this mess.
"Done!" Ino reached up a hand and Iruka pulled her to her feet. "How's it look, Iruka-sensei?"
Iruka gaped as he looked into the mirror. What. The. Hell.
"Is that...makeup?" His mouth struggled to form the words as he reached up to confirm the black lining around his eyes.
"It's manliner! That, with a little foundation for your scar, makes you a serious hottie." Her voice rose at the end in a squeal.
Iruka felt the blush start in his neck and rise slowly, covering his ears and cheeks, unaware the foundation hid it all.
"I c-can't go." He reached for the nearest cloth, willing the stuttering to stop. He was in front of a student of all things. Now was not the time to drop his teacher-facade.
Ino smacked his hand away and pushed forward with a cluck of her tongue. Temari crowded into the space they left in front of the mirror, still manhandling the collar of Shikamaru's suit.
"So troublesome..." Shikamaru was saying, "Just cut the thing off."
As they made their way towards the stage, a slap on his butt made him jump. He only had time to make out a brief flash of pink before shrieking assaulted his ears.
"Ino!" Sakura gasped. "You're brilliant!"
Ino looked Iruka over smugly. "Aren't I?"
Under both their gazes, Iruka shuddered slightly. Here he was, an authority figure who had raised these kids nearly from birth, being looked at like a piece of meat.
"When's he on?" Ino asked.
"After Asuma-sensei, who is on...," Cheers and applause rebounded off the walls, echoing through the hallway, "...now."
Both girls grabbed onto one of his hands, pulling him towards the looming black curtain. As they laughed and chattered, throwing grins back at him, Iruka couldn't help but feel a bit better; their cheerfulness was contagious.
The three of them had just reached the curtain when Asuma broke through, mopping sweat off his forehead with his tie.
"They're animals, Iruka-sensei, animals." Asuma slapped Iruka heartily on the back, sending him flying headfirst into the blinding lights of the stage.
Ch 2 preview
Kakashi dropped his book. Iruka was replacing him? Iruka? He planned to give Tsunade a little trouble by not showing up but he never, even in his wildest calculations, considered Iruka would have the guts and glamour to replace him in the auction. But, Kakashi thought, unable to take his eyes of the stage, I'm kind of glad I did, now.