This is my second story. YAY! I just want to warn you now that I don't like Sakura, but I try my hardest not to antagonize her. Please forgive me if I do! Also, there is lemon in this story. Otherwise, enjoy!
'I saw the queen
Swam out below her star on sea beneath
Though I lifted up my hands to her
She never lifted me! Oh!
Something's missing in me
I felt it deep within me
As lovers left me to bleed alone'
August 21, 199X (Whatever year you want)
She remembered her father stopping the car in the middle of a pier she had never seen before, her mother rushing him as he quickly stepped out of the car. She could smell the salt water from the sea and began to feel sick. She got sick easily, ever since birth. No one had known what was wrong with her.
She had been so tired then. She had been harshly woken up by her mother before being pulled out of bed and dragged to the car in her night gown and all.
She had asked her Papa where they were going twice, only to have her mother snap at her and force her to stay quiet. She feared her mother, only speaking to her when her mother allowed it. Her father said not a single word as he sped down road after road, away from the house that held her older siblings.
They drove for hours until it seemed that there was nothing but dirt, sand, and an old lighthouse near the water. Her father had rounded the car and opened the door, pulling the seat belt off of her. His snow white hair was hidden under a brown cap, and it placed a shadow over his gray-blue eyes.
He quickly lifted her from the car and made her stand in the road. She heard her mother yelling at him, rushing him along before a car would pass by.
She had looked up at her father, a frown on her face before she smiled up at him. She had been stupid enough to think it was a game.
No, she wasn't stupid. She had only been four and couldn't comprehend what was going on. He didn't return her smile like he always did. The quiet man's face stayed stoic as he looked down at the little girl that he was crouching before.
He reached into his coat and pulled out a stuffed bear, handing it to the girl. She had never gotten as many toys as her siblings. Her mother said that she didn't deserve them, and she had tried to be good, but mother said she was a bad girl. She had never known why.
"Mito, do it now!" Her mother was getting impatient. The little girl could only see the woman's snow white hair as she lowered the car's window slightly. It was one of the many things the people in her family were famous for, besides their singing. The white haired man turned away from his wife and placed his hands on the girl's shoulders.
"Listen to me, little girl," he said, causing that dull panging in the girl's chest to start once more. She hadn't been given a name like her siblings. Her mother had refused to give her one, and being the silent child she was, she did not object.
"You're good at counting aren't you? You always count the beats in the songs you hear." The girl nodded. She loved music. Her family played a number of instruments, but she hadn't been "talented enough" to do so. But when she was left in the large Senju manor, she taught herself to play every instrument the house held, from violins and cellos to piano or flute. No one suspected a thing. This was a number of things she had taught herself, like reading and math.
"Then I want you to close your eyes and count to one hundred. You can do that, can't you, little one?" She smiled as she nodded. He would be proud of her when he listened to her. He nodded his head, signaling her start.
The four year old spoke in a soft voice. "One, two three…" She didn't stop when she heard the car pull away, or when tears fell down her cheeks as she realized that she was alone but was too afraid to comprehend it. He would still be proud of her. Her mother wouldn't think she was bad anymore, and she would love her.
Her family would love her.
"…ninety-nine, one-hundred." Her white eyes opened and the fact that she was alone finally hit her as she fell to the ground and called for her mother, her frail, weak body wracking with sobs. There would be no answer, and she knew this as her eyes became heavy and her voice hoarse. No one was there to hear her cries, and no one was there to answer her pleas. She believed that her parents would come back for her. They always did when she learned her lesson.
So she waited.
And waited.
Until her fragile body gave out and her pale skin became an ashen gray.
Those lovers would never return.
She hadn't noticed that she had been there for three whole days as she became sicker from starvation and was forced to drink from her hands when it rained.
Slowly, she was slipping from the cold, cruel world.
'Found something sweet
On the island with daughters of Eve
But through thick and thin they've gone away and only left their grief! Oh!
Something's missing in me
I felt it deep within me
As lovers left me to bleed alone
Something's missing in me
I felt it deep within me
As lovers left me to bleed alone'
She had been woken up by an elderly woman, who looked down at her with worry etched in her face. "What are you doing here, little girl? You look so sick."
At this the girl began to cry, but she was dehydrated, so dry sobs racked her body. "I don't want to be called little girl anymore. I-I want a n-name! I want a real name…"
The woman looked up at the younger woman beside her. The nurse frowned back at the woman as they looked at the girl. What would they do with her? They both looked at the young girls boarding the ship that would take them to Oto where their orphanage was located. The girl needed help more than ever.
The young nurse knelt before the girl, running her fingers through her messy white hair before lifting her into her own arms. She began humming, rocking the girl to the melody. The sound calmed her, and the little girl's sobs became slow panting. She must have liked music.
"It's okay. I'll give you a name now. You have very pretty eyes that remind me of the stars, and if your hair wasn't so dirty, I bet it would be whiter than the moon. When I look at them, they seem calm and serene, yet beautiful and believing. Do you like the moon and its stars?" The girl nodded and the nurse smiled. "Then I'll name you Serenei. It means serene."
The little girl felt the panging in her chest leave. She had been given a name. "Serenei," she repeated slowly, causing the nurse to chuckle.
"Come on, Serenei. You're a part of our family now."
'Something's missing in me'
Eleven years passed and Serenei's home was The Children of Eve. She had left numerous times, moving from family to family, but being away from the orphanage caused her to become withdrawn, causing the family to send her back. Her brothers and sisters stayed in the orphanage, and so would she.
Her best friend had been Haku, a boy that appeared to be a girl, though he hated when he was mistaken for one. They did not remember how, but they had become close friends, always at each other's sides when they were needed.
Serenei had changed from a quiet, obedient little girl to a beautiful, intelligent teen. To Nurse Tsubaki and Mother Kaede's displeasure, she had also become very popular with the boys in the orphanage. The white-haired girl was flocked by children wherever she went, causing the younger boys to drag her to their bedrooms so that she could see their few prized possessions. The workers had tried their best to keep teens of the opposite sex near that certain age away from each other as much as they could, but that didn't mean that they could stop what happened between them.
They found that Serenei was soon accompanied by those boys near her age more and more often, and she sought their attention, wanting to rid herself of the abandonment she experienced those years ago. She had no idea of how those boys truly felt for her, wanting her to return their feelings, only enjoying their company for as long as she could.
She soon learned of those types of relationships when she found her best friend kissing his long time crush, Zabuza, an older orphan among the group. She had known of Haku's feelings for him, but she had never known what happened between couples that truly cared for each other. She hadn't bothered the couple, but she soon thought that this was what she needed to fill the void that she had been left with.
She changed her demeanor, showing the boys affection that they had been yearning for, but it wasn't enough for her. She needed all of their attention, everything that they could give.
And then she met him.
He had been silent when he first arrived, and Nurse Tsubaki introduced him as Uchiha Sasuke, a sixteen year old who would be staying there while awaiting the return of his older brother, who went to meet their future step parents in Konoha. She had felt her heart quicken each time his cold, obsidian eyes fell on her. Or the way her breath caught in her throat, telling her that he was near.
Sasuke rarely paid her any attention, though, and this caused her to look for it elsewhere. Many of the girls she spoke to had spoken their interests to him, and most times he turned them down. She had seen many girls shed tears over the boy's denial of reciprocating their feelings. She thought then, why would she even try?
Serenei had felt cold eyes or her more often than usual, and she knew when she felt that familiar chill that they were the eyes of Sasuke.
The dark haired boy had been watching her more often than usual, and he knew that he craved the sight of her. Not once had she said she cared for him, and he wanted to know what it was like to chase, not be chased; to admire, not to be admired.
He followed the girl, a shadow that she never seemed to be able to catch. He saw her as his future, everything that would become of him. She was the one that had captured his attention, and he was ready for her to realize this. For months he was her shadow, and more and more he made sure that she knew that he wanted her.
Little by little he showed his feelings, but only in brushes, whispers, and smiles only shown for her.
Serenei hadn't expected Sasuke to be in the room she shared with Haku, or for him to know that Haku was sharing a bed with Zabuza for the first time and wouldn't be back till morning. She also hadn't expected the kiss he placed upon her lips and her neck as he confessed his love for her.
She had been unsure of how to respond to his feelings. She had never understood what she felt for the boy, and her heart was at array as his lips found hers once more. This kiss was longer and full of passion.
As his hands slid down her waist and gripped the end of her shirt, she felt her wounds closing and her heart reconstructing. He was the one who would heal her.
His love was confessed again and again as he slowly undressed her. Her blush spread as her hands went to cover her bare chest, and her innocence caused him to feel a panging in his chest as he realized: he had to protect her.
His lips found hers once more as he, ever so slowly, removed her panties. He gently took her hands in his and pulled them away from her chest.
He couldn't explain her beauty.
Her skin, paler than his own, was smooth and appeared flawless, and he wanted her to stay this way, denying himself of the privilege of leaving love-bites on her neck. Her neck wasn't too long or too short, but beautifully perfect, and he found that denying himself of leaving a single mark on her neck became harder. His eyes dilated as he continued to take her in.
Her breasts were large and robust; her perfectly pink nipples hardening as he softly ran his fingers over them. His mouth watered to taste them, but he wanted to touch and see all of her. His hands ran down her narrowing waist and his eyes followed as his fingers ran over her flat stomach. There were no flaws on her body from what he could see.
He ran his hands up her chest before slowly palming her breasts. She was extremely sensitive, a mewl leaving her lips as his hands moved over the large mounds. The small sounds she made were more attractive than she knew.
Serenei spread her legs unconsciously to the boy, her knees still raised. He felt his pants tighten as his hands ran down her sides and anticipation filled his mind as her waist began to widen into hips, and soon his eyes met her core.
Beautiful white curls covered her center, and he couldn't fight the urge to run his fingers through them. His fingers came away slightly wet from her warmth and he felt a shudder run from him to her as his tongue came into contact with his dampened fingers.
It was the smallest taste, yet he felt as if he was already addicted to her sweet. His lips met hers once more as he felt her nervous white eyes watching him. "It's fine, Serenei," he said as he slowly spread her legs further. She felt a finger intruding her insides and let out a small whimper. "Sasuke," she said, her hands moving to his shoulders to push him away. His free hand held hers as he kissed her, this kiss gentler than the last. It calmed her immediately and he slowly began to move his finger against her warm insides.
Serenei endured the pain for a while longer, adjusting to the feeling as Sasuke continued to move inside her. "Is it better?" She nodded, her eyes closed as he pecked her lips once more as he pushed another finger in. She gripped his shoulders, but this time she didn't stop him, and with his eyes on her face, he began pushing his fingers in and out of her again.
He did the same with the third finger, until she adjusted to this all. She was tighter than he had thought she would be, and he knew that he would have to be as gentle as possible.
Sasuke licked his lips as Serenei began to moan, the pain replaced with pleasure. He could feel her juices covering his fingers and the taste was fading on his tongue.
He needed his liquid drug once more.
He trailed kisses down her chest before his tongue snaked around her hardened nipple and he began sucking on it, causing the girl to arch her back. He showed her other nipple the same attention before moving his lips down her stomach before he placed a kiss on her lips down below. Serenei hadn't been expecting this as her back arched once more and she tightened around his fingers, causing her to wince.
His free hand moved to her cheek as he tried to calm her. "Relax, Serenei. You'll like this. I swear." Sasuke moved up and kissed her once more, this time pushing his tongue through her slightly parted lips. His tongue pushed against hers, and soon she caught on, pushing her tongue against his before he made his way down once more.
This time Sasuke pushed her lips below apart and gazed at her core. How he yearned to be inside her now, but he knew foreplay had to come first for his white-haired virgin.
Serenei felt the first flick of his tongue on her clit and felt a rush flow through her body. She had never imagined she would be kissed down there. His tongue moved so fast that pleasure moved through her body without her comprehension and soon she felt a release that she never thought she would feel in her life.
Serenei's white eyes stared through the ceiling as bliss ran through her body. She wanted more of this feeling.
Sasuke kissed her lips so that she could taste the sweetness that he so craved. She flushed as he began undressing, removing his shirt and his jeans, Serenei blushed as his dark eyes never left hers and she couldn't force herself to look away. His obsidian eyes were smoldering, and when his eyes moved over her, she thought she would faint.
He watched her as he stood in nothing but boxers, the bulge in his pants evident. She felt her breath catch as he slowly slid them off and let them join the pile of their clothing on the floor. He moved towards her and moved onto the bed, slowly moving before her.
With shaky hands, Serenei touched her fingers to his chest before pulling back, a blush marring her face once more. Sasuke gently took her hands and pressed them to his chest. She could feel his heart beat quickening, and soon she realized that he was just as nervous as she was. She hadn't noticed because he seemed so confident with what he was doing, but she knew it wasn't his first time.
He was nervous for her.
His lips gently pecked hers, pulling back before kissing her once more. "I want you to touch me too, Serenei, so that you'll get used to my body, just like I'll get used to yours." Serenei nodded as she bit her lip before her hands splayed across his chest.
Serenei ran her hands over his abs, and up his chest, noticing the way he hissed slightly when her fingers brushed his nipples. She pushed her hands into his bluish-black hair as his lips found hers once more. He continued to kiss her as her hands moved down his sides, touching his hips before slowly moving towards the front of his waist and gripping his erection.
Sasuke hissed louder, causing Serenei to pull away, afraid that she might have done something wrong. He shook his head, taking her hands once more and leading them to his aching erection once more. Serenei watched the different emotions distort his perfect face as she touched him, feeling every inch of his length that she could.
Soon Sasuke stopped her, kissing her as he moved her arms around his neck and kissed her. She felt him move between her legs, his erection rubbing against her waist. She loved the feeling of his bare chest against hers.
He nipped along her jaw, and then down her neck before he moved up and began to nibble at her ear. It was very distracting, and she didn't notice the head of his erection moving to her core until he began to push in. She felt the pain right away and gripped his shoulders as he pushed in slightly further before stopping. He left kisses on her cheeks, trying his hardest to calm her, but he was too large. She didn't know how long she could last like this.
"It will get better, Serenei, I swear. Just hold on to me as tight as you can. I'll share your pain." Her eyes closed once more and she exhaled shakily before nodding to him, allowing him to continue. He began pushing in once more until he was fully sheathed in her warmth. By then tears were rolling down her cheeks. He kissed them away before meeting her lips with his own.
Serenei could feel the strength of his body as he was inside her, and she wanted his strength to keep her feeling the way she was now: complete emotionally and physically. She wanted to remember the way he felt inside of her. She only wanted him.
She looked up at Sasuke, her eyes taking in the anticipation in his. It was torture having to wait until she was ready, but he would do it for her. "Sasuke.". His name leaving her mouth was all he needed. Slowly, he pulled out of her before pushing back in. Serenei's nails broke the skin of his shoulders as he moved in and out of her. She could feel the pain fade and send her into bliss as he began to kiss her neck, his tongue moving against her skin as he did so.
His moans were for her ears only. She was the only one that he would show his weakness to.
She hadn't realized the sounds she had been making until Sasuke kissed her, muffling the sounds that wantonly left her lips. He cursed as she pulled him closer, squeezing his length inside of her tighter and pushing her hips against his.
He had found her spot.
He had to move faster. It would be impossible not to.
He quickened his pace, causing Serenei to moan louder as he pushed against that spot again. "Sasuke," she moaned as he lowered his head to take her right nipple into his mouth. He rocked her with a passion that couldn't be explained as she felt something well in her stomach.
Sasuke could feel her body shake as her orgasm neared and he held her tighter as he moved faster once more, wanting to catch up to her.
Serenei felt emotions flood her as her spot was hit again and again until an orgasm shook her body, causing her to cry out Sasuke's name. Her dark-haired lover soon followed, moaning her name as his cum filled her, claiming her inside and out.
Their lips met once more as Sasuke took Serenei's face in his hands. He slowly pulled out of her, holding her tight in his arms as he lay beneath her. He basked in the smell radiating from their skin. She smelt like him. She had been claimed.
Never would she forget the words that left his lips as she fell asleep in his embrace.
"I love you, Serenei."
Down here love wasn't meant to be
It wasn't meant to be for me
All is vanity underneath the sun
All is vanity'
Serenei found that his love had began to fill the void she had been left with since childhood, and when he woke her up to let her know that he needed to leave before Nurse Tsubaki found them, the kiss he left her with was one that finally ended the aching she had been suppresing.
She had seen the worry on Sasuke's face as the blood stood out on the white sheets they had been on. He knew it was normal, but he hadn't expected so much. But seeing Serenei's eyes on his and the happiness that came with it was enough to deminish his fears.
Sasuke had gone to his room silently and showered, as he was forced to rid himself of his love's scent. Only then did he find the letter that had been left on his dresser the night before from his brother Itachi.
Serenei couldn't stop the smile on her lips from forming as Nurse Tsubaki helped her change her bedding. She had thought that it had been a slight accident, as Serenei had a strange menestrual cycle that came when it pleased.
She did notice the smile the girl wore, a real one that only appeared when she was with Haku or the younger children. She did not question the girl, though she had her suspicions that something more had happened.
Haku had returned as soon as Nurse Tsubaki left, and Serenei couldn't help but notice the way he was glowing. Had she looked like that too?
Haku and Serenei had made their way down the stairs when they heard people shouting goodbyes from their windows. They hadn't heard that any of the children had been adopted, but maybe they had missed the announcement.
The sight that Serenei saw when Piper, a small gray-haired boy, took her hand and lead her and Haku out of the double doors was enough to make her heart stop.
Sasuke was leaving.
She had heard nothing about this, and when his eyes met hers and appeared to be completely stoic, she had to look away. Piper seemed confused at this, as Serenei was always happy for the children who found a family that cared for them, but his hand still held hers as he waved goodbye.
Haku had noticed also, but he didn't question his friend as she patted Piper's head before turning and walking inside. He looked back at Sasuke, who's face showed a flash of pain for less than a second before becoming emotionless once more. What had happened between the two?
Haku followed the path his friend had taken to the sitting room, where he found her sobbing with her knees pulled to her chest. The first thing that popped into his mind turned out to be right as Serenei told him about what happened between the two of them.
As Haku held his saddened best friend, Serenei placed her hand on her aching chest. She could feel the void opening once more, and it felt as if every pore of her body was bleeding.
She was lost.
Serenei's loss was soon found when Nurse Tsubaki found that the girl was sick. She knew the symptoms from experience, and she was right when she found that the girl was pregnant. Serenei had sobbed for hours on end when she found out, and Nurse Tsubaki never thought that she would see the girl appear so much like her nameless self as a child.
Serenei had found that she had something to take her mind off of the pain she experienced every day. A child would put so much on her plate that she wouldn't have time to cry or feel sorry for herself. She found herself beginning to love the child, and she always would.
But it turned out that she wasn't fit to be a mother.
Her child was taken away from her a month later in the middle of the night. She had woken up to a pain in her stomach and found that blood was everywhere. She had called for Nurse Tsubaki, becoming hysteric as the blood filled her vision and left her helpless before everything faded to dark.
Her child was no longer with her, and Serenei had fallen into a deep depression that caused all to worry for her. No one could understand how she felt. Three times she had been abandoned by those she loved with her entire being. She would never give herself away as easily as she had before.
But then again, she doubted that anyone would want the blackened core that had once been her heart.
As she reached reached a month before her sixteenth birthday, Serenei feigned happiness so that Nurse Tsubaki wouldn't send her to therapy with Doctor Igamashi, the man who opened the orphanage. She didn't want to relive the pain she had gone through her whole life.
She had watched Haku's relationship with Zabuza bloom into love, and when Haku's parents came for him, she was surprised to find that they accepted the relationship he had with the older boy.
Haku hadn't been orphaned. His parents had been fairly young when he had been born, so they had asked the orphanage they had grown up in to look after him until they could afford to take care of him. They visited the boy three times a week, never coming late and staying until visiting was over. She was happy for her friend, yet she couldn't stop the jealousy that possessed her when she saw that her friend had a family and a lover who truly cared for him.
Nothing could stop her tears as he prepared to leave. His father was taking him all the way to Konoha, where they had opened a tea shop that was very popular. The couple could now afford to buy a home with a room for their son and would be able to afford a wedding also.
Haku had promised to visit her when he could, though she doubted that it would be often. She was being abandoned once more, and she refused to be present when Haku would leave her. Her friend at felt his heart breaking when she wasn't there to say goodbye to him, but Zabuza had been by his side completely. He had turned eighteen, and he was free to leave the orphanage. His parents had given him a job at the shop and a place to stay, and he hadn't refused. Haku didn't want to leave his friend, but he realized that she had been pushing him away so that she wouldn't get hurt once more, and he couldn't stop her.
Serenei found everyone vain after she had been completely abandoned, and nothing could change her mind.
'Something's missing in me
I felt it deep within me
As lover's left me to bleed alone'
Serenei had spent the next few months acting as if she had no care in the world, spending her time with as many boys as she could, and soon girls were included also. The nurses could do nothing to keep Serenei from ridding herself of emotion by giving herself to anyone who would give her any attention.
They soon made a decision. They would separate the boys and girls into their own orphanages. This was the only way to keep Serenei from accidently becoming pregnant once more, and sending them to school would increase the chances that the white-haired girl would be too busy to focus on things that she did now.
How many times had they found Serenei alone with a boy in the orphanage, and what else could they do to stop her?
Did she realize that she was hurting herself even more?
'Something's missing in me
I felt it deep within me
As lovers left me to bleed alone
Something's missing in me
Something's missing in me'
It's been revised!