Notes: For starters, I tried my best to keep every character within character.
CANAAN sparked an interest for me. I loved the overall anime, but I was especially intrigued by the characters itself. Although, I won't admit to being a masochist or sadist, the masochistic and sadistic qualities of the anime were overbearingly amazing to me. I especially felt like the character of Alphard was so well done, that it kept me guessing about her motives throughout the entire show (of course, no one has to agree). But all in all, it made me realize that she seemed a little under-developed albeit, it seemed purposely. My intent here was to bring out what I feel like could have been and my own take on Alphard as a person. In other words, what if the series had just started from a particular scene and drafted Alphard as the titular character?
And also, keeping Liang Qi in character proved to be very difficult. So... bare with me.
*Nee-sama - I was unsure whether using "older sister" would actually properly portray the meaning that is actually intended.
Ah, I forgot to mention this was written two years ago.
Disclaimer: I do not own CANAAN or its characters.
A Change of Heart
Her head, her nose, eyes, and ears hurt; her whole body hurt.
Liang Qi was in pain. Her blood curdling screams were evident of that. Grief ran through her veins and strangled her heart. She was suffocating slowly, and she only had one person to blame.
Canaan.
She grit her teeth. The sudden thoughts of the assassin quickly reduced any physical afflictions she was suffering from and infused her with a sadistic, murderous intent. Liang cursed said girl aloud in a wild tantrum. She was enraged. Her efforts had always been futile.
Liang had followed her superior's orders for years on end. She had went to great heights do everything and anything her "Nee-sama" wished, even accomplishing things she knew her leader would never think of carrying out, or so she liked to think to herself. In reality, Liang knew Alphard didn't care; she didn't care for anything that didn't pertain to Snake's thought-out plans, nor did she care for Liang's secret "side hobbies" or missions. She knew she would never be attentive towards Liang's feelings. But Liang had fallen in love with her; it had actually been love at first sight actually. From the moment she had first laid eyes on the experienced killer she had known there could be no one else. She swore her heart to Alphard.
But.. She wanted the feeling to be returned. Liang had been stupid about that. Alphard cared for nobody, except her.
At first, Liang had been jealous of Canaan. Every day Liang lived in the shadows as Alphard only saw and thought of Canaan. A girl with hair white as snow and empty eyes that flickered red as a sign of her synesthesiatic condition. What did Canaan possess that she did not? The obvious answer would be the girl's abnormal abilities, but Liang had learnt over time that Alphard looked at her for something much more than that. If she knew one thing about Alphard, if anything at all, it was that every goal and every plan was initiated in thought of the girl with synesthesia.
Her rash attitude towards Canaan and the desire to kill her had stemmed deep within Liang. She wanted to destroy every part of her being; she was obsessed with ridding her love's mind of her.
But, as time passed by, she had become so helplessly in love with Alphard Alshaya that she could not control her other emotions, her hatred; she could not help herself. If it was for the love and affection of Alphard, she truly would do anything, and commit any sin. If Alphard had been entrapped by some vampire-like thing, she would even let it suck her body dry of every molecule of blood, all the while smiling as she died for Alphard's release from chains. Hell, she'd love if Alphard tried to kill her herself (as she had just tried to) if it meant Alphard would have all eyes on her. She distinctly remembered the smirk upon Alphard's face at Liang throwing herself at her unusually happy self when Alphard had pointed the gun in her face. It sent pleasure throughout Liang's whole being.
She wondered when exactly her feelings began to seem so... inhumane.
Perhaps she was mad.
The more she thought about it, the more Liang was convinced that she was terminally ill-minded instead. Mad was an understatement. She had been too optimistic; a hopeless romantic. If she had thought Alphard would open up her heart to her, or even look her way for more than five seconds, she had been gravely wrong. And now, Liang had to pay the price for her actions.
She stared at the image in the mirror before her.
Maybe she truly had become void of all intelligence.
Taking those pills had been the worst mistake Liang had ever made by far. After all, they did make her look like the very person she loathed, the person she wanted to kill. She was like her now. But, maybe that was just it; maybe, she actually wanted to kill herself, instead.
Her weary eyes savored one last look at her beloved before turning upon her assistant.
Although she hated to admit it, Liang felt pity for the man. She knew exactly what unrequited love felt like. But, she equally hated that she felt remorse for her outlandish actions. With her last few acts of pure freedom to show her love for Alphard, Liang had grown vulnerable and soft. Extremely soft. Had she begun to regret the path of selfishness she had chosen to walk upon?
Looking at the man now, his face somber, Liang new she indeed felt regret. She even felt a pang of guilt, but unfortunately for her, time would not rewind itself.
It was too late.
"Will you love me?" her assistant asked painfully, as he brought a gun to Liang's chest.
"Yes," she lied, as a bullet ripped through her torso.
She wanted to escape this endless, loveless escapade. It was her one last selfish wish.
Love.
Such a disgusting, utterly worthless, and pitiful word. At least in the mind of Alphard Alshaya it was. She didn't understand it; why would someone go to great lengths, risk their own life, and receive nothing in return, just for one, small emotion? And yet, Alphard found it interesting all the same. She wanted to see just how far such a feeling could take one, just how idiotic and useless one's actions could become. And so, she had asked her subordinate, Cummings, to show her just that, to show her love.
Cummings, the public head of Daedala, one of her most trusted employees within Snake was in love. Alphard wasn't oblivious to his feelings, in fact contrary to anyone else's common understanding of Alphard Alshaya, the cold, dark, exceptionally beautiful, but brooding Leader of Snake, she actually recognized love as one of the many obvious components of life, albeit optional. Extremely optional or rather out-of-the-option for Alphard herself. Of course, this didn't mean she wanted love or had any kind of desire to feel it whatsoever, but she still wanted to understand it. She had seen the effects that violence had on one's mind countless times; how it could fuel one with hatred and thoughts of murder and revenge, but more particularly, how clouded the eyes of a certain someone with synesthesia could become. In contrast, love itself was capable of all that and more. Love could drive a person mad and stimulate hatred. Love could turn a top-rate soldier into first-class dust. Even her own lieutenant, Liang Qi, the object of Cummings' affection.
"That's quite the hobby you've got there."
Ah, yes; sadism. Liang had become a sadist after all her years of knowing her. But Alphard paid no attention to it. Liang's infatuation with her had grown tremendously over time to the point of driving her crazy with sadistic desires. She had grown to love every bit of her "Nee-sama", right down to the harsh ridicule Alphard always bestowed upon her. Alphard never heeded a word Liang had said; she neither cared nor thought twice about Liang's feelings. The girl meant nothing more to her than a formidable adversary in crime. But, the subject of Alphard's curiosity had greatly taken a toll on her lieutenant. This trivial matter of loving Alphard had ruined Liang's skills, both in combat and during business. Alphard decided non-chalantly, the next time Liang went out of control with unnecessary actions would also be the last time Liang would ever have the liberty of acting out on her own accord; she vowed to end the girl's life. Which would lead to her current position, idly standing in Liang's torture room in the Factory with her usual placid expression upon her face, while said girl threw herself at her, shouting her over-used selection of words about killing Canaan once again.
Alphard was intrigued to say in the least. The foolish girl was so drunk with her own stupidity that she had taken the prototype of the drug for synesthesia in hopes of gaining Alphard's appraisal. She failed to realize the drug would harm her body. She also failed to realize she would resemble the real Canaan in one way or another. Hence, Liang had doubled back in protest, asking Cummings to kill her, the girl that looked like Canaan in the mirror. She watched the scene play out, as Cummings asked for Liang's love in return for killing "Canaan". Really, Alphard had no idea whether Liang was truly an idiot because of love or whether she was begging to be put out of her misery of un-requited love, but she didn't let herself ponder about it. This act would benefit her in the near future, whether Liang was an idiot or not didn't matter.
When the gunshot reached her ears, she had become aware that she had been passively staring at her two assistants for quite some time. Although, disappointing, it had amused her for the time being. She briefly relished on how pitiful the sight was, and then left the two to their misery. She took her leave down a long flight of stairs, her departure slow and defined in step. In her mind, she imagined Cummings would commit suicide or stay with Liang as death succumbed her and the Factory crumbled atop them. Love was a troublesome thing.
Alphard paused to stare at the image of Canaan on the laptop's screen as she reached the bottom of the stairway. She bore holes into the red and hollow eyes on the image. Canaan, a girl that fought for her "Light", the very thing that defined her existence. The girl that sought revenge on her and the reason Liang was jealous and vengeful. The girl that pondered "why" Alphard would commit the sin of murdering Siam. She was always wondering why. She was always seeking out the reason for Alphard's betrayal in the back of her mind. And although Alphard tried not to care, she also knew Canaan saw strange colors emit from Alphard through her synesthesia. She knew she questioned why.
But Alphard was different. Alphard did not provide answers and did not concern herself with whether she actually knew the answer. She was a woman of no feeling, no regrets, and definitely paid no mind to asking questions or superficial thoughts, not even simplistic thoughts of "why" or "how". She needed nothing and nobody in her life. If she did ask a question, it only served as a sarcastic statement or a redundant one. Yet, as Alphard reassured herself of her position, she realized in that short instant in her gaze with those red eyes, that something was horribly wrong.
Alphard Alshaya had faltered today for a brief moment. No; she had faltered twice. Twice because she had not caught her mistake as soon as it had been done. The notorious terrorist had asked a question, a question in which she pursued the answer.
Love.
Alphard was back up the stairs in a matter of seconds.
Love truly was a troublesome thing.
Fin.
Afterword: I absolutely had no idea what to do with Cummings. All I knew was that I wanted to kill his character off somewhere... I know that sounds mean but I didn't want to work with his character any more than I needed to. So I did what I thought was best for him here. ):