OK! A story. yay!
Flawed Design
I don't know how to tell people I'm a fraud. They all think I'm the hero. That I will save them . I'm not really that person. I just want to be Harry, not the boy who lived or any of this other stuff I am called. I want to be normal. I just want life to change. I wont be a coward and run away because that's not me. But I just wish I could be normal. This whole life is just a flawed design.
Harry looked at his journal. It was already half full and he had only got it 3 months ago. He glanced at the clock on his, it was 3:00 am already. Harry could hear Ron's slow breathing and decided it was time to do some of his own slow breathing. Harry turned off the lamp he had been using and snuggled in to covers. He had been at the Burrow for just over a month but somehow time seemed to be stretching on forever. Everyday was started with the agonizing pain of wondering who would be next. Since Dumbledore's death Harry had not slept well and was constantly on edge. At Fleur and Bill's wedding Harry watched every person like a hawk, even with 4 aurors close by during the whole ceremony. Harry stared at the ceiling. He was once again wide awake and would be getting very little sleep this night. At 6, Harry was to leave so that he could go see the Dursley's one last time. Harry was not happy as would be expected, but scared because he felt he was about to lose his only protection that existed. But maybe, just maybe, he would gain something instead of always loosing things dear to him.
Harry woke up after 3 hours of sleep. He was already later then he wanted to be and way to tired.
" Harry hurry! We were supposed to leave 5 minutes ago," Hermione yelled up the stairs.
"I'm coming ," Harry mumbled and left Ron's small bedroom.
Harry met Ron and Hermione at the bottom of the stairs. They were wearing there black school cloaks and regular muggle dress. Harry smiled wanly at them and motioned to exit the door. Just before he got it open Molly Weasely came out of the living room. "Harry, Ron, Hermione? Are you guys leaving now"
"yeah Mom. But we'll be back this afternoon," Ron replied. Molly came up and gave them each a hug. "Be careful"
"We'll try," said Harry quietly under his breath and headed out the door.
They three mounted their brooms and flew into the sunrise that was just starting. The ride there was flown in silence but in Harry's mind his thoughts wouldn't shut up. They wouldn't stop saying that something felt wrong. Then again everything always felt wrong, now that Dumbledore was dead.
Harry slowed down and landed softly on the Dursley's front lawn. He didn't even care if any of the neighbours saw him anymore. Harry entered the house with the key he had. Considering he hadn't been there for a year nothing had changed. "Harry"
"Aunt Petunia"
"I guess this is the last time I will see you," said Petunia tightly.
"probably," Replied Harry grimly. The conversation seemed so unreal, yet so expected.
Harry headed up stairs to his bedroom. It was still the same place he came back to every summer holiday but it was no longer his home. He grabbed a few items he thought that he might want and sat on his bed one last time. Ron and Hermione were waiting outside because Harry asked them not to come in. Harry heard steps on the stairs and waited.
"Harry. Are you alright?" Petunia asked.
"Yes aunt Petunia," Harry replied like he was still a small child.
"Shall we get this over with then"
Harry stared into her blue eyes. "I would but I don't know what I have to do"
"Harry. I took you in knowing that one day you would become more trouble then you were worth. Do you think that no planning has gone into the day you were to leave my house permanently"
"You knew," Harry replied in and astonished voice. "All this time you knew that I would leave your house. Why didn't you just tell me. I could have actually been gone years ago. We wouldn't have to be doing this"
"Harry Potter! This is still my house and you are still a child, Do Not Speak to me that way!" Petunia said threateningly. "Sorry Aunt," Harry replied stiffly, accenting the authority she held over him.
"Now I have a letter here from Dumbledore telling me what I would have to do today. So please just let us hurry and get this over with"
"When did you get that letter?" Harry said, stalling unintentionally "Yesterday," Petunia replied. "Why"
Harry's face clouded over. "Dumbledore is dead," He whispered.
"I- I am sorry to hear that," Petunia replied, trying to keep fear from her voice. Petunia knew that now that Dumbledore was gone she needed to be extra careful.
"Okay Harry. Hold out your hand," Petunia directed after she had recovered form the news.
Harry held out his hand with a questioning look on his face. "Your going to have to trust me"
Harry nodded. Petunia pulled a small steak knife out of her apron and held it to Harry's palm. Harry gasped slightly as the blade cut his skin and blood started to seep out. Petunia then took the knife blade and ran it across her own palm. She held up the hand to Harry's and shook. Harry would feel a warmth rush through his hand, up his arm and directly through his chest. Then his whole body felt warm. Harry wondered slightly what was happening but before he could think too deeply on it was over. The warmth receded and Petunia let go of his hand. "What just happened?" Harry gasped.
"I think I am free," Petunia said quietly.
"What do you mean?" asked Harry.
"Well all this time you have been in my home you have been under my protection. Now I have transferred that protection back to you. I am released from my charge, your no longer my problem," Petunia said with a relieved look on her face.
Harry just stared at her. He couldn't believe she was so relieved just to get rid of him.
"I have transferred the blood protection you have always had with me back to you. So your protection with me is back with you," Petunia explained. She seemed a little to relieved for Harry's liking.
"Oh well that's just FUCKING GREAT!" Harry yelled. "I can't believe I am once again alone. FUCK"
"Harry James Potter! I have already told you do not speak to me that way. If you dare speak to me like that again you are no longer welcome in my house, ever," She retorted in a stern voice.
"I wont be coming back," Harry said in an angry voice. "I don't have any reason to ever come back and you will never see me again," Harry then stormed out of the room. Just before he reached the door, aunt Petunia reached and caught his arm.
"Harry you are always welcome here, despite what I say. But you no longer have protection here that you once welcomed," said Petunia sadly.
"Thanks," Said Harry stiffly and exited the house.
"Harry are you okay?" Hermione asked.
"I'm fine,. Let's go," Harry ordered and hopped on his broom.
Back at the Burrow, Harry stormed upstairs and locked himself in Ron's room. Ron decided it was best not to go in there for a few hours.
I hate life. People treat me like shit because they think it is my fault all this happened. I never wanted to be the boy who lived. I just want to be normal. Even my first friend only tried to be my friend because I was Harry Potter. And that's the saddest thing I have ever thought of. I just wish I could have been normal. This is too much for one person. Yet, I even have the help of two wonderful people who would probably never leave me. But I still feel bogged down. I wish I could just run away. I wish I could be someone else. Someone who could have a normal relationship with his aunt, his friends, his girlfriend, his teachers, everyone. I just want to be a normal person. But for now I guess I shall just have to deal with life as I am. The boy who lived. Or the boy who May possibly die in a month. Stupid life.
Harry sighed and wiped away a tear. He couldn't help feeling sad. He had just lost another thing that kept him safe and it was hard to take.
Harry turned at a soft knock on the door. "Come in," He said, unlocking the door with his wand.
"Hey Harry. How are you?" Ginny said quietly from the door way.
"I'm okay," Harry said. Ginny sat next to him on his bed.
"Are you sure"
"yes. I'm fine, Ginny. Don't worry," Harry replied.
"You know you don't have to do this alone, right?" Ginny said staring into Harry's green eyes.
"Yes I know," Harry replied and leaned in and kissed her. He knew that He shouldn't be but he still liked her very much and didn't want to have to be away from her. Ginny responded immediately and deepened the kiss. Harry slowly pushed her back on her bed and they continued. "Ginny"
"mmm.." She mumbled. "We need to stop"
"Why?" Asked Ginny in a clipped tone.
"Well not only is this your brother's bedroom but We can't do this. It just generates too many feelings. We can't be together. We both know that," Harry said sadly.
"Dammit Harry! I know that. You think I don't know that we can't be together. That's not going to stop me. I still really like you and I probably wont stop liking you for a long time. So try not to object to much to me being there," Ginny said rather loudly.
"I have to object. I really like you too and I already told you we can't be seen together. Voldemort hurts those I love. It's bad enough that Ron and Hermione are with me but if I had to take you too I don't think I could handle it," Harry said in an exasperated voice.
"Harry, you wouldn't be able to stop me even if you wanted too. I know I can't be seen with you but that doesn't mean I can't be with you in the safety of my own home. This is one of the most protected homes in the entire country. I keep it quiet if you like?" Ginny said reasonably.
"Ginny, please"
"Harry. You can't make me go away, so deal with it," Ginny stated and got up and left the room.
Harry stared after wondering whether he was going to be able to handle her. He obviously needed a way to get her away because telling her that she couldn't be with him wasn't working.
"Why do Weasley's have to be so stubborn?" Harry voiced out loud.
"HARRY! DINNER!" Mrs. Weasley called up the stairs.
Harry looked at his clock. He had been sulking for about 2 hours since Ginny left and 4 since he came back from the Dursley's. "Coming," He replied.
Harry headed downstairs to the kitchen to find everyone already there. They all stared at him as he entered the room then hastily turned back to their food. Harry sat down and ate quickly, just wanting to go back to his room. Well, his and Ron's room. It would have been nice to have his own room but everyone had been home for the summer because of Dumbledore's passing. It didn't really seem safe to leave the house to often. Even Fred and George came home every night.
After dinner Harry headed upstairs to think some more. He didn't really like hanging out with the Weasley's when they were trying to be cautious around him. Another reason why he wished he could just be normal. If Harry had been a normal person they would have just yelled at him instead of trying not to upset him. Harry was just about to drift off to sleep when he decided to write more in his diary. Half an hour later Ron came in and found him still writing.
"Hey Mate! You okay?" Ron asked cautiously.
"Fine," Harry said quietly.
"Want to tell me what happened"
"Not really," Harry said blankly. He had realized that he was keeping more of his feelings and ideas to himself after the whole Malfoy incident in June. "Okay. Well you now me and Hermione are here for you if you need us," Ron said soothingly.
"I don't need your help all the time Ron. In fact it's even worse when You and Hermione are involved because then I have to worry about you guys too. Just back off for a bit," Harry said menacingly.
Harry flopped down on his bed and closed his eyes. He could hear Ron getting ready and waited till the light was off to open them again. Harry couldn't help but feel bad for treating Ron that way. It wasn't his fault. He only wanted to help. Him wanting to help was precisely the problem. Harry waited another half an hour to leave the room. He snuck down the stairs, undid the charms on the door and went to the garden. The Weasley's garden had always been a happy place for him but now it was the only place he could be alone. He sat there for about an hour before he heard the door open behind him. He turned to see Ginny coming to join him.
"Go back to bed, Ginny," Harry said quietly.
"Harry I just wanted to tell you that I'm coming with you when you go to Hogwarts to get into Dumbledore's office," Ginny said.
"Ginny! You can't do that. If anything happens to you I will never forgive myself. You need to stay here where it is safe. Where I know I will be able to come back and see you," Harry said loudly.
"Why does everyone think I am a child. I will not just wait idly by while my best friend, my brother and my boyfriend go out and get themselves killed for something they should have never been involved in. I am not a Child! I will come with you if I very well want to," Ginny said heatedly.
"YOU can't do that!" Harry screamed. "I can't protect you. I don't even know if I can protect Ron and Hermione," Harry said dejectedly.
"And what happens if Voldemort finds this house. We're all just supposed to wait here thinking we are safe in hiding. I will not wait like a chicken in a coop for a fox to eat me. I want to fight. I want to be by your side. I can protect myself," Ginny retorted.
"Ginny. You can't come. I nearly got you all killed once, I don't want to do it again," Harry said pleadingly.
"But you didn't. You need people to fight with you and I will not abandon you when you need me most. I didn't do it before and I wont do it now," Ginny said, nearing tears.
"Ginny, You"
"Harry no! Don't say it. You have no choice I am coming," She said and wrapped her arms around Harry.
From the window, Mr. And Mrs. Weasley watched. "Are we going to let her go?" Molly asked quietly.
"I don't know. If Harry can't make her stay, I am not sure what we can do. I have feeling she will follow him to hell and back just to see him safe. I can't think of anything that would change that," Arthur said uneasily.
"Well we can't just let her go out unprotected, we'll give her the amulet tomorrow. I never thought I would use it but I guess we have too," Molly said.
The next day Harry woke in the garden with Ginny curled up in his lap. He was leaning against the low garden wall and was covered in early morning dew. Harry nudged Ginny gently and motioned that they should go inside. As they entered the house, Molly stopped Ginny.
"Ginny I need to speak to you," Molly said sternly.
Ginny nodded, knowing she was going to be told she wasn't allowed to go. Ginny had already made up her mind, no one was going to stop her. Molly lead her into the living room which was empty.
"Ginny, I know I can't very well stop you from going with Harry but I want you to be careful," Molly said abruptly.
Ginny stared for a few seconds before gaining her voice back. " Mom. I thought for sure you wouldn't let me go," Ginny said, shocked.
"I don't think I can stop you. But I want you to be safe. It's hard enough seeing Ron go," Molly replied.
"I will be safe"
Molly then went to the small chest that was always kept locked on the mantle of the fireplace. She slowly took a small key out that was hanging around her neck and inserted it into the small lock on the box. The box itself had always been a bit of a curiosity to Ginny and she couldn't believe she was finally going to know what was inside. Molly stood in front of the box and blocked Ginny's view for a few seconds before turning around with a small locket in her hand.
"This is the locket of Rowena Ravenclaw. It has been our family for many years. It actually just came to us from a great uncle about 16 years ago. I think it originally was one of the lockets that each of the four founders of hogwash carried to protect them. I am giving it to you to protect you. I want to make sure you are safe," Mrs. Weasley said.
"Mom I can't take this. What if I lose it?" Ginny asked quietly.
"Ginny it's the only way I know how to take care of you and you must take it," Molly replied then stuffed it into her hand. "Mom-" "Ginny just take it," Molly said and locked the small box on the mantle. Ginny looked at the locket in her hand and hoped it had a way to protect her because she would need it.
I Can't let Ginny go. She really wants to go but I can't take care of her. I have no way of making her not go, though. Why must this be so hard. I can't even protect myself let alone Ginny, Ron and Hermione. I am just such a failure. I hope I can at least find something at Dumbledore's office.
Harry went to bed after writing another entry. He felt better when he was alone in the dark. He had three more days at the Weasley's before he journeyed to Hogwarts and he was looking forward to it even less now that Ginny was coming. It was a good thing it was Summer holidays because he wouldn't run into anyone he knew at the school. Harry closed his eyes hoping for a bit of much needed rest.
Harry awoke to an empty room. Ron had obviously gotten up already and left Harry to sleep. For this he was definatly grateful. He lounged around for about 5 more minutes in bed before deciding he needed a shower. Harry was used to living in the Weasley's house so He assumed he wouldn't get a shower right away. He headed to the bathroom and was a little surprised when no one was waiting outside to take a shower. He knocked lightly on the door and waited for a reply. After about a minute he tested the door and found that there was no one in there. He slowly closed the door, revelling in the fact that he had the bathroom, for once, too himself and didn't have to wait for it. Harry showered quickly , got dressed and headed downstairs to get some breakfast. As he arrived in the kitchen , he noticed the decorations.
"Happy Birthday!" Everyone yelled in unison.
Harry stared at the Weasley family in shock. They had once again out done themselves with their kindness. After how moody he had been they still threw him a birthday party. Harry stared at the people assembled and saw Moody and Lupin. He was glad to see them both healthy looking, although a little tired.
"You really shouldn't have," Harry mumbled. "Oh nonsense, Harry," Mrs. Weasley replied. "You deserve a nice Birthday," The evening went slowly but Harry was glad for the distraction it created. Just as Harry had decided to go to bed Ginny stopped him.
"Harry, I want to say sorry for being so pushy the other day. I am still not giving in though. I am coming with you," She said quietly.
"Ginny I understand that but You have to promise to listen to me when I tell you too," Harry replied sadly.
"I will. But that's not why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you to meet me in my bedroom at 12, I have my own present for you," Ginny said seductively.
"Ginny, Hermione sleeps in your room," Harry pointed out.
"Don't worry she wont be there tonight," Ginny said with a wink. "Anyway, I am going to bed. Good night, Harry. Happy Birthday!" Harry stared dumbfounded after her. He decided he really didn't want to talk to any one. HE quickly went upstairs to wait the half an hour till 12.
At 12:01 Harry knocked on Ginny's door. Ginny opened the door slowly and let Harry in. "Where did Hermione go?" Harry asked as he sat on Ginny's bed.
"Let's just say Ron will be happy and very surprised in the morning," Ginny replied with a small giggle.
Harry stared at her for a few seconds before deciding this was the one night he just didn't care. He leaned in and kissed Ginny softly. "Well It can't be anywhere as good as my surprise," Harry said quietly and kissed Ginny again.
Ginny smiled softly into the kiss then proceeded to move things along faster. Harry couldn't believe he was doing this but knew it was better then any birthday present he had ever received in the past. With every new sensation, every new touch , he fell deeper in love with Ginny.
"Harry," Ginny said quietly in his ear. Harry snuggled down deeper into the blankets at the gentle breath tickling his ear. "Harry. Wake up," Ginny said.
"I don't want to," Harry replied. "I just want to stay here forever"
"Well it would be nice but I would really like a shower," Ginny said.
"Oh. Right," Harry replied and gently extracted himself from the mass of blankets.
Later that day Ron came down the stairs with a smiling Hermione behind him. Harry smiled at the sight of the tow of them. He couldn't help but hope everything went well for them.
Two days later found Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny ready to mount their brooms in the front yard.
"Don't forget to eat well," Mrs. Weasley cooed.
"Mom! We'll be fine," Ron snapped and mounted his broom. "Be careful not to be spotted," Molly called as the rest mounted and readied themselves to take off.
"Mom! We'll be fine. We'll see you when we get back," Ron assured.
"Bye," Molly called in a motherly voice as they took off from the yard. Harry looked back only to see a very anxious mother behind him. The sun was just setting as the arrived at Hogwarts chilled to the bone and very hungry. They landed outside the gates and waited to be let in. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Miss, Granger, Miss Weasley," Professor McGonagall greeted.
"Professor," they replied.
Professor McGonagall dropped the wards on the gate and allowed them in. She then checked them over with her wand to ascertain that they were themselves. "I'm not sure what your looking for but I hope you find it, Mr. Potter," The new Head mistress, McGonagall said.
Harry nodded and thought, 'I hope so too,'
OK that was little emo. I read it over after I had typed it up about a week ago and it was more depressing and whiny then I thought. JOY! Anyway if you thought it was good and want me to write more I will. There is a reason I didn't include Harry/Ginny sex scenes, I just didn't want to. I am saving the M rating for later in the story. Well, if you want me to write more. Review! I love reviews. Oh and If you read Graviation stories go read In Spite Of It All by Sunee. It's fairly good. Also Pianissimo Butterfly. Can't remember who its by. Review! Bye!