Disclaimer: The characters belongs to Atsuko Asano.
Warnings: English is not my first language. In fact I have not used it for a long time and I have lost practice. Sorry for that. All corrections are appreciated.
Author's notes: It has never been my intention to publish in English, but my ideas always appear in English and this time I decided to leave it like this. This writing carries some personal content, especially since I wrote it on my birthday. I'm scared, but it had always been easier for me to express my emotions when I can assume that no one is going to read them.
Maybe
"Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful..."
― José N. Harris.
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«Reunion will come, Shion»
Or that's what he had said. Today, his words echoes in the other boy's head like an old and memorized song but which meaning has long started to lose impact. It's an echo, a worn memory that he fight to maintain alive.
Four years have passed, four years of waiting, four years of daily hope that ended up in growing disappoint and unvoiced pain.
Nezumi never breaks a promise, is what he kept telling to himself. Even so, the veracity in the voice of the dark-haired man start losing clarity such as the features of his face in Shion's memory.
He doesn't want to forget Nezumi.
He hate how he can detail the exactly gray of his eyes, his beautiful face and his desheveled hair, but can't evoke it clearly in his mind. The image only comes in his dreams, those in which he wake up crying, with the prayer of a "don't leave" in the tip of his tongue and the ridiculous need to search around his room for his presence.
He usually stays the rest of the night looking though his eternally open window, just in case. He is unable to sleep after that anyway, even more since Tsukiyo has passed away.
Shion has faith in Nezumi, he knows he owes it to him. Nezumi never failed him, even when they first broke apart, he had come to rescue Shion when he most needed, but now he come to realise that this is exactly what scares he the most.
He isn't in danger anymore.
He is supposed to be safe now, also his mother, also the once called N°6.
Shion discovers himself with the fear that not been in danger, could give Nezumi the assurance to never look back, to never come back.
The older boy is no longer in indebted with him, and he has always be a free spirit, one that had been chained for too long and deserves the freedom he has fighted to obtain.
And that's the worse.
Shion hates himself for been selfish, for wish so desperately that Nezumi forget about everything and comes back to him. He wishes Nezumi wants to come back to him, to needs him, to miss their time together as much as him.
Maybe, they can go travel the world together. Can't they?
If Shion is someone who attaches himself to things, he can change that for him. He is more attached to Nezumi anyway.
He is willing to sacrifice the stability he had were building in city just for the sake of Nezumi's dreams. Maybe, those dreams could become their dreams.
But how can he follow someone who´s not anywhere to be see?
Should he go and find him? Should he stay waiting?
Shion loves his mother, little Shionn and all his friends, but he will say yes without doubt if Nezumi ever ask to follow him. They can come back to visit, properly communicate everyday with Karan so she'll never get worry and maybe, just maybe someday, when Nezumi's heart get satisfied of travel, they could settle down somewhere surrounded by nature and many books to read.
They could be happy. Couldn't they?
Shion would do everything to make Nezumi happy, to never scare him away again.
But then again, to do that is still something missing.
―Nezumi, when are you coming back?
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―578―
―Thanks for reading―
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Well, I finally did it. I was scared and conflicted, I wanted to do something at least cute to honor those who can't be by my side today, but a lot of things happened and I couldn't. But now that my grandmother is getting better, I feel like doing it.