I would have opened my eyes, if I had any. I was floating through space, formless and with no destination. I didn't know how I got here, or where I was. I could feel, rather than see, presences around myself. Planets and stars, gas and rocks. And something that couldn't be so easily narrowed down into a category.
Information flowed through my head, or rather my mind. Not language, but raw information. Somehow I understood.
Lesser Data Entity, you are not of this world. You entered into this universe precisely sixty seconds ago. Your past provides the key to valuable information. You lack the capability to create a physical form for yourself. Analysis suggests you would prefer physical form to pure data existence.
Analysis? Geez, no sense of privacy at all.
We do not understand this desire, but we will indulge it. In exchange for your service, we will provide you with a physical form.
Service? What exactly do I have to do?
Observe the data entity that holds the key to our evolution.
That sounds familiar. You can't mean…
That is correct. You will be placed under the jurisdiction of our primary observant.
Sounds like a good time.
…
I blinked my new eyes and smacked my new face a couple times. It was still hard to believe that I was here. I jumped up and down a few times for good measure.
"What are you doing?" my purple haired handler asked.
"Making sure this isn't a dream," I replied, running my hands through my long white hair. "Though I'm pretty sure no dream would feel this real. Speaking of which…" I gestured to my breasts, then to the rest of my body. "…why am I a girl?"
"The Integrated Data Sentience Entity deemed this form the one in which you would behave most efficiently."
I sighed. "I'm not sure I want to know the reasoning behind that decision."
Nagato Yuki opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by excited giggles.
"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited. It's just, I get to meet you, Haruhi, and Kyon! Also Mikuru. Koizumi will be there too, I guess."
Yuki nodded. "Your role is to protect Suzumiya Haruhi's chosen person. You will be placed into their class alongside Asakura Asakura-senpai."
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Simultaneously, you will join the Literature Club alongside me."
"Great!"
"You are free to act as you see fit, so long as you do not alter any pivotal events, reveal the truth to Suzumiya Haruhi, or neglect your mission. In addition, you must obey any orders from the Integrated Data Sentience Entity or myself."
"Understood!"
"Now, please drink the tea I prepared."
Ah, a test, I won't lose so easily!
I knelt at the table and took a sip of the tea. I didn't like green tea before, but my new body seemed to find it pretty tasty. I smirked at Yuki.
"Test passed," I said.
"That wasn't a test," she said. "I just didn't want to waste the tea."
I smiled.
"Now, I will seal most of your memories."
I nodded.
…
I walked from my condo to my new high school. After three years of being assigned to observing ordinary humans, I had finally been promoted to the big leagues: observing Suzumiya Haruhi herself. Granted, I was Nagato-sama's backup backup, but it was progress!
As I neared my destination, I encountered the first challenge of my new position: a tall, steep hill. Who had decided to build a school at the top of this thing? This climb almost makes PE completely redundant. Of course, being a humanoid interface rather than a human, I barely exerted myself at all on the hill, but it was the principle of the thing.
Finally, I entered the school and made my way to the correct classroom. I noticed Suzumiya sitting near the back of the room. Naturally, I had been informed of what she looked like, but she was exceptionally beautiful in person. She had pretty long brown hair with a yellow ribbon tied into it.
In front of Suzumiya sat the boy known as Kyon. Nagato-sama had told me about him. She had already met him three years ago, though from his perspective that incident had yet to occur. The future version of him slept in Nagato-sama's condo, waiting for the right time to be released. Or was it the past version of him? Being a slider converted into a humanoid interface, I didn't have quite the grasp on time travel that my superiors did.
Anyway, I took my seat in front of Kyon. I turned in my seat and smiled at him before politely greeting him.
"Good morning!" I said cheerfully. Why was I so happy to see him?
He blinked at my enthusiasm. "Good morning."
We stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, before I turned back around and stared at the chalkboard intently.
Soon enough, it was time for introductions. Out of habit, I carefully observed each person's introduction, paying especially close attention to Asakura-senpai's. She was dangerous. My turn eventually came.
"It's nice to meet you all," I said. "My name is Yui Sakamoto. I like video games and literature. Please treat me well."
Kyon came next, giving a fairly bland introduction. At last, it was time for the main event, Suzumiya Haruhi's introduction. She stood up.
"Suzumiya Haruhi from East Junior High," she announced authoritatively. "I have no interest in ordinary humans. If any of you are aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers, come join me. That is all."
Then she sat back down. Everybody stared at her in shock for a moment, before the teacher called on the next person to introduce themselves, a boy named Taniguchi. Suzumiya seemed like a very interesting person. Part of me wanted to answer her call right now and give her a two for one deal, but that would go against my orders, and so I stayed put.
Proper classes soon started, but I wasn't particularly interested in them. Lunch soon came.
"Sakamoto-san, you can eat with us," Asakura-senpai called over to me. She was eating with two other girls already. A social butterfly.
I nodded and walked over.
"Do you two know each other?" one girl asked. I remembered her as Yamamoto Shinko from the introductions.
"We live in the same condo building," I explained. "We've met a few times."
"That's nice," said the other girl, Suzuhara Shuuko.
"I hope you don't mind my intrusion."
"Nonsense," said Yamamoto, giggling. "It's natural to join a group with someone you know."
"Thank you," I said. "I'm not really good at making friends, so I appreciate it."
We ate in silence for a few seconds, as I struggled to think of a conversation topic. Eventully, I just decided to go with what I kept coming back to.
"So, Suzumiya-san's introduction was interesting, huh?"
"Yeah," said Shinko, "I went to middle school with her, so I'm used to her antics."
"Antics?"
"She does strange things all the time, painting things all over school grounds, dating anyone who asks for a week, all sorts of weird things."
"Ah, that's interesting," I said, I still wasn't sure why I was supposed to be observing her though, "So, did you go to school with Suzuhara-san too?"
"No, but we've lived in the same neighborhood since we were kids, so we've always been friends."
"Ah, that's interesting."
We talked for the remainder of lunch about various topics. I felt sort of awkward as the quiet, shy one, but the three girls were nothing but friendly. I thoroughly enjoyed our time talking together, but lunch soon ended.
"See you after school," Asakura-senpai said.
"Right," I replied.
The rest of the school day passed without incident. I met Asakura-senpai, Yamamoto, and Suzuhara, outside the front of the school and we descended into town. Going down the hill to the school was far more enjoyable than going up it.
We walked around town for a few hours, seeing sights, where festivals were held, restaurants, and other fun things to do in town. We eventually stopped at a small café, where the other three girls conversed, while I sat and listened.
"So, what clubs are you thinking of joining?" Yamamoto asked the group, "I'm thinking about calligraphy or film."
"I'll probably do whatever you do," said Suzuhara.
"I'm thinking about joining the literature club, though I heard all its members graduated last year. I'm also thinking of trying for class rep," said Asakura-senpai.
"Oh, that's cool, but I don't think I could handle the extra responsibilities," said Yamamoto.
"Me, neither," said Suzuhara.
"It doesn't sound fun," I said inaudibly.
"What about you,Yui? What clubs do you want to join?" asked Asakura-senpai.
"Literature or computers," I said succinctly.
We ate a nice snack at the café. Then, I returned to my building and reported to Nagato-sama. After that, I went to my condo and slept. I didn't really need to sleep, but it was a decent way to pass the time of the night.