AN: Ever since Defenders released, I've been obsessed with these two together. I've been inspired to return to writing because of these two. I will be making lots of stories based around these two. I just. hope they don't suck, however I'm confident in my new writing skills since I was last invested on this site. Here's the first chapter of the story. I hope it goes well.

It's been a month and a half since the fall of the Hand. Jessica laid in bed, tired and filled to the brink with alcohol. She could smell it's scent on her own breath. She hasn't slept for a straight week and has had trouble sleeping for the last month or so. She stares up at the ceiling, slowly tracing the cracks in the plaster of the ceiling with her eyes, watching as one crack spliced with another. She'd done this so many times, she knew the direction and curves of the cracks by heart. If she wasn't half drunk out of her mind, she could probably draw them on a piece of paper.

She continued focusing all her attention into the ceiling above her; waiting for it to cave in on her. To collapse. Collapse, she thought. Like Midland Circle collapsed in the middle of New York City. Like it buckled and took him from her.

Matt.

The name ran through her mind rapidly. No matter where she was or what she was doing sometimes, somehow it popped into her head. She had barely known him. That's what it felt like. Yet there wasn't a day gone by since the events of Midland Circle that she hadn't thought about him. She finally took her eyes away from the ceiling and turned to her right, focusing on the scarf that rested on the nightstand along with her favorite flask.

"It's your scarf."

His words repeatedly ran through her mind with the pace of a nascar in first place. It felt as if they stung in the back of her head. She reached over to grab the flask and downed a couple more shots before dropping it on the floor after realizing it was empty. She grabbed the scarf and brought it closer. Cuddled with it. Her scarf was all she had left of him. Sometimes she slept with it for comfort or for when she thought it was too cold. If she paid close enough attention, sometimes she thought she could smell him on the scarf. Jessica closed her eyes and it was as if he was there for just a second. She opened her eyes and quickly comes back to reality.

She'd use it to wipe away the tears that threatened to fall. She'd cried the most during the first week. She tried to control it and had gotten better with it over the course of the last month, but Matt Murdock didn't make it any easier for her.

All this time Jessica had pent herself up with guilt. The guilt of having not at least tried to change his mind. To save him. To get him to see that Elektra was really gone and that staying down there was suicide. To maybe help him realize that he was being a total idiot.

"Fucking martyrs."

The depression. The overall misery of not having him around anymore. They had only started to get to know each other right before Midland Circle. They trusted each other. Even if she hated to admit it, she trusted him with her life. The worst part of it was that she never got to hear his story. Only bits and pieces. Not in a way he would have told her. She bled into his past. Pried even, but he never seemed to push her away because of it. The smile she got out of him all the time was almost welcoming. This made her angry. It frustrated her.

All he got out of her was a goddamn file.

Jessica looked at the lawyer sitting in front of her. The smile on his face made it so hard to resist punching it off his face, but she couldn't because she had no real reason to. Just another thing to get into trouble for.

"Private Investigator, Jessica Jones, punches stubborn blind man." The thought of it made her want to snicker, but she held it back. While not intrigued nor in the mood to deal with this bullshit, she decided to play it the way she usually does in hopes he'd just fuck off.

The blind lawyer began questioning her. "Ms. Jones, may I ask how long you've been a PI?"

She looked at him with a bland expression on her face. "No."

Matt was befuddled at her attitude. Surprised, as if he couldn't believe he'd just spoke to him like that. "Are you always this rude to people trying to help you?"

She gave an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. "You know what, I'm gonna find my own lawyer, thanks."

Matt seemed totally puzzled. Confused, almost. Why was this woman so hard stricken on receiving help?

"Okay. Uh, well, in reality, you don't need one. After talking to the lead detective outside, it appears that despite the mess you got yourself into, the NYPD doesn't actually have anything to hold you on, so-"

She carelessly interrupted him. "So I can walk?"

"Mm-hmm. Though your apartment and office are still considered an active crime scene. You'll need to make yourself available for follow-up questions, - so in the meantime - don't leave town."

Jessica spoke in an irritated tone now. She was on the verge of shoving him out of the way. "Yeah, I know the drill."

Matt started to drop the good lawyer act. Behind his glasses, he faced her and stared her dead in the eyes with his unseeing ones. "Ms. Jones, may uh, look, there's no easy way to say this." He paused for a moment, almost hesitating to finish what he was about to say.

"I read your file. I know who you are. What you can do. I know what happened with Kilgrave, so if-"

Jessica froze for a moment as he heard the name flow out of his mouth and into her ears.

"This has nothing to do with that."

"Okay, great." Matt almost seemed annoyed with her attitude now. He let himself simmer down before continuing.

"I'm just saying, legally, if there's anything, this will stay between us if there was anything not, uh, ordinary about this case."

Jessica was pissed off now. The lawyer was getting on her nerves. She did like a few things about him though. Things that only she points out in people. Like most, he was aware of her abilities, but unlike most and despite his handicap...he was still consistent. And he wasn't ugly or anything.

"What part of "I know the drill" did you not understand? Nothing happened. I'm good," she repeated, more harshly this time around.

"Great," he finished. He wore that fake grin again, trying to hide any sign of surrender or defeat, but didn't do so well with concealing it in his tone of voice.

"Then I guess you're free to go."

Jessica coldly stared at him for a few more seconds before getting up, putting her jacket on and pushing the door to the interrogation room wide open, leaving Matt baffled as he stressfully rubbed his nose with a couple of his fingers.

"He was only trying to help," she thought as she rubbed her eyelids with her thumb and pointer finger. When Jessica closed her eyes and tried to sleep, she thought about him again. She thought about him tracking her down at Midland Circle. The way he grabbed her arm and tried pulling her away from it. Trying to keep her from danger...which is what she originally wanted in the first place. Jessica began thinking of why he did a lot of the things he did.

At the thought of it all, Jessica unwillingly let a tear slide down her cheek. Matt knew she was capable. Knew she was strong, but he didn't back down. He didn't see her as a victim. He was so worried about Jessica putting herself in harm's way.

As she uses the scarf to wipe away the tear, more threatened to release. His voice began to reel in her head once more.

"This is exactly what I was trying to avoid."

She realized that as he tried stepping in to stop her getting involved with the situation at Midland Circle, it wasn't because he was ignorant of her abilities. He sure as hell didn't underestimate her. He saw himself in her. He saw a reflection of himself, barreling headfirst into the same dire battles. He tried saving her...again and again.

She recalls the second encounter with Murakami at Trish's meeting. She was in way over her head. She had super strength, and healing, but not durability. Before she knew it, she was pinned on the ground and dazed. She saw the man pull his knife and he was two seconds away from stabbing her, but there he was. Matt arrived at the right time. He always did, now that she thought about it.

"Nice ears," was all she could think to say after he'd just saved her life.

"They're horns," he replied with a sly smile on the bottom half of his face.

Fuck you, Murdock. Screw you and your horns.

Jessica slowly paced around his apartment. It was warm and cozy. Comfortable. Basically the exact opposite of her place. She was almost jealous. Almost. She turned around and looked up, slightly blushing as she, not intentionally, looked up in Matt's direction, who was changing out of his Daredevil costume; shirtless in the moment. She hoped he couldn't sense the slight rush of warmth in her cheeks. He knew a lot of weird shit she never even came close to understanding.

"Man, did he have a lot of scars or what?"

He turned around and she saw the disaster that was his back. He had only a few scars there, but long ones. Of course she studied his abdominal area.

"Not bad at all, Murdock."

She took her attention away after realizing she was just staring at him for way too long. She escaped that thought and kept studying his apartment. "You wanna tell me how a pro bono lawyer can afford a loft like this in New York City?"

"You can't tell now, but there's a neon billboard across the street. Keeps most people up at night-"

Jessica walked towards the window and peaked outside. She saw the large sign on the building from across the street. She instantly thought of the moment when she, Matt, Luke, and Danny were hiding in the restaurant.

"Who the hell hears neon?" Luke asked.

"My blind-but-maybe-not lawyer." She replied.

Jessica shook her head for a moment and returned to the present as she heard him add "-not me!" to the end of his sentence.

"I guess that's how he learned what neon sounds like. God, Matt is so weird," she thought to herself.

"Got it!" she responded.

She turned away from the window as she heard Matt's footsteps getting closer. He was just finishing up buttoning his collar shirt. She instantly remembered what she had seen just a few minutes ago and turned away, concealing something almost foreign to her. A real smile. Not a fake one, not like the one she used to deceive Kilgrave. This one was real. Not that he could see it anyways...could he?

Jessica started rummaging through the boxes he had piled on a stool. She noticed a trophy. She picked it up and read the engraving on the label: "Jack Murdock." She put the trophy back and examined the boxing gloves right next to it. It was here that she put another two and two together.

"Plus, I occasionally help the landlord out. Not proud of it, but I put on the suit and rough up people late on rent."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled...again. "I hope that's a joke."

Matthew smiled, laughed even as he put on his jacket.

"That smile..." Jessica thought as she broke away from her trance of the memory with a small, sad smile on her face.

Once her eyes settled in on the darkness around her, her smile faded. The warm feeling in her heart turned cold and her breathing became just as shallow. Her demons were coming back and she had no liquor to quash them. It wasn't very long before she thought about Matt again. The thought of it was tearing her from the inside out. The thought of him dead and laying at the bottom of that pit. It's like Matt kicked Kilgrave's ass and shoved him out of the way so he could haunt her. She didn't dare think of him like that. She knew he hadn't intended for anything that's happened to her...but it's happening.

"Should I have told him how I felt? Should I have tried to change his mind? Gave him a reason to come back? Or would I have just added a last minute burden to his already guilty, martyr mindset?"

She couldn't bear the pain any longer. The emotional drawback of him was always so strong. Just like he was, but she couldn't take it anymore. She felt like she was sinking into a black hole the longer she lied in bed. She was losing it now. She sat up and grabbed the scarf again. Using it to wipe more of her tears away.

"Fucking asshole."

Jessica got out of bed and headed for the refrigerator. She opened it, squinting as her eyes adjusted to light it shined. She let out a small sigh of relief when she spotted one last bottle of Cutty Sark. Relieved that she didn't have to make a liquor-run in the middle of the night, she took the entire bottle back to her bedroom. Once she got back to bed, she opened the cap easily and chugged three large gulps before letting the liquor burn the back of her throat.

She thought that maybe she would get through the night. Of course, she realized it was going to be another one of those nights. Jessica placed the bottle on the nightstand and lied back down. This time she at least felt a little better after thinking happily about him, but the amount of guilt, depression and grief that possessed her would only increase tenfold.

So the tears started to fall again.

This time she let's them.

Ever since that night at the bar with Luke, she hadn't talked or even seen anyone else from the team. She figured distancing herself would be wise. She knows that a conversation with any of them was bound to turn into a conversation about Matt Murdock. She'd heard about Danny going around the city playing vigilante in Matt's place. Protecting it like he asked of them before he died. Luke was doing his part in Harlem. Jessica lived in Hell's Kitchen too. What was she doing to own up to it? Sulking and sitting in her own feelings? Sure, she was helping others in cracking her cases when desperate people came to her with all of these different scenarios, but she felt as if her work didn't make nearly as big an impact as either Luke or Danny's. After all, she was doing it because she needed the money to supply a roof over her head...and because she needed the goddamn liquor.

It was nearly Christmas time. A week and a half or so away from now.

"I guess time can really go by fast when you drink yourself to death every night."

She rolled her eyes at herself as she walked through the hoard of people on the sidewalk while little fragments of snow embedded themselves into her hair and exposed skin. She felt a little speck land on her nose, but it melted at her warmth. At the boiling blood that resided in her veins. She was on her way to Trish's penthouse to eat dinner. She did promise her. She was probably drunk because she couldn't recall, but no matter the excuse, there was no way Trish was letting her get out of it now.

Jessica walked through the swarm of people with her mind on everything but the streets. As the light snow fell, she thought about him. She thought about Matthew. She thought about his crazy ninja senses. She started thinking of all the crap he'd start saying. About how he hears the slushy sound of the snow melting against her skin or guess exactly how cold it was just by being outside. He'd tell her wherever there was a patch of ice on the ground before they stepped in it. He'd smell and list all the ingredients that make up the fresh chicken soup boiling in the nearby kitchen for the homeless. Hell, the man could probably taste the air and know when it was going to stop snowing before it actually did. He could rest his hand on her cheek and feel the warmth. He could tell her he knows she's been crying.

As she walked across the street with the rest of the crowd, she looked up into the grey, emotionless, slush-colored sky. The sunlight just barely sinking through the fog. If Matt were right here walking next to her, he'd tell her the tear she let out just now melted half a centimeter into the snow it fell on. The spot was then stepped on by tens of other people, crushing it. Burying it in dirt and slush...forever.

Jessica sat on the couch in front of the TV with a beer and a plate full of mashed potatoes and a couple pork-chops while watching an episode of cheers. She mumbled something harsh when Trish put music on.

"Trish would you turn that crap off? For fucks sake it isn't even Christmas music."

Trish Walker sighed for a moment before replying. "Niall Horan isn't crap, Jess. Try listening to today's stuff, you might actually like it."

Jessica grunted as she stuffed her mouth with piece of pork. She listened to the words of the song and decided it wasn't so bad, but either way, she wasn't in the mood.

"It's this or Christmas carols, Jess," she added.

"I'd rather listen to a non-stop car alarm for the next twenty-five minutes."

Trish rolled her eyes and turned on the Christmas station. Maybe it wasn't a horrible time for jingle bells. She got a plate full of her food of choice before sitting down next to Jess. Trish looked at her sister while she watched the TV. She saw the bags under her eyes...although those were always there. What she hadn't recognized before were the remnants of a red streak descending from her left eye.

"Jess, are you feeling alright?"

Jessica shifted her head in Trish's direction, cocking an eyebrow as she removed her full attention to Trish, knowing where this was going. She did not want to get into it right now, but knowing Trish, she was going to push her anyways.

"Yeah... yeah I'm good." Jessica blatantly lied to her, and she knows that Trish knows this. Trish met her gaze and shook her head. Jessica just took another sip from her bottle, trying to avoid conversation until she could think of a good subject to change it to.

"Jessica, please. You've been upset ever since Midland Circle..." Trish guessed what was wrong and remembered what'd happened that night, all of it quickly rushing back into her head. "Is this about Daredevil? Jessica I told you that you should talk about i-" but Jess cut her off.

"I don't want to talk about him." She replied with a tone that didn't seem very welcoming to any kind of prying at all.

"Look Jess," she began. She put her fork and plate down on the coffee table in front of them and moved closer to Jessica. Jess looked over and saw the concern in her eyes. Jessica felt her emotions running again and tried her best to hide them.

"It's just been a while and I'm worried about you. I know he meant something to you, but I got to see just a bit of what he was like when he saved us at the meeting and helped you escort me to the precinct. To be honest, I could see why you were attracted to the guy." She nudged Jess's side. Jess hid the only hint of a small half-smile under the rim of her beer bottle, but it could never overpower the grief. Nothing really did. It just stopped on its own. "I'm just saying that you didn't do anything wrong. He made his choice, Jess."

At that, she sighed because she's tried telling herself that so many times over the last month. "I can't get over how nice he was towards me. What he did and tried to do for me...and I treated him like crap half the time..."

"So? You're very guarded about your feelings. That's just who you are, Jess. You can't beat yourself up over tha-"

"There's so much more to it, Trish...you wouldn't understand." Jessica rubbed her eyes and shook her head almost violently, once more fighting the tears. Maybe Trish was right? Maybe it would be better to talk about it? Perhaps talking about it would prevent future emotional meltdowns.

"I don't need superpowers to know that you liked him, Jess."

"I did not..." she quietly denied.

"Did too." Trish gave her the "for crying out loud" attitude, knowing she was right. Jessica hated when Trish was right.

"I barely knew him, Trish. What makes you infer that I fucking liked him?"

Trish easily looked passed her denial and stared straight into her eyes, but she also took Jessica's hand in both of hers. "Because I saw everything. He was sweet and kind, funny. He made you smile, Jessica." Trish said, with a smile of her own tugging at her lips.

Jessica couldn't hold it back anymore, despite her efforts. Trish looked into her glistening eyes and pulled Jessica into a hug and held her gently. Jessica hated it when she cried. She wiped them away as soon as they fell from her eyes.

"I hate that he makes me cry, Trish. I hate it. I hate him even more for not being here..." Jessica stopped trying to bullshit the both of them and just came out with it. "I just wish I could have told him, Trish." She slowly pulled away from her. "I should have told him that I wanted him to be more. More than a friend…"

"Jessica, there was no guarantee that, even if you told him your true feelings, he would have come back. He sacrificed himself for this city, Jess, because he loved it."

Jessica turned to her, wiping the last tear away and hanging her head down in shame. Jess decided that she'd lost her appetite and placed her plate of food on the table next to Trish's. After a few seconds, Jessica looked back up at her with a more stern expression.

"Maybe if I had gotten him to love me, he would have come with me instead..."

Jessica couldn't deal with the emotions anymore. She knew Trish meant well, she always did, but Jessica couldn't go through with this any longer. The more she talked about it, the worse she felt.

"Trish, I'm sorry, but I-I have to go." Jessica stuttered as she got up and grabbed her coat before heading towards the door. Trish got up a second later and spun around to chase after her.

"Jessica, wait-"

Before she could finish her plea, the slam of the door interrupted her.

Jessica was already gone.

The next morning Jessica woke up to the sound of her alarm. This time it was her phone, however. She decided to start using it because she needed a cellphone and she couldn't really afford to buy a new one every time she broke her alarm clock. It forced her to actually wake up, despite the amount of liquor she downed the previous night. She turned on her side to reach for her phone. As quickly as she could, she unlocked it to stop the alarm.

She rubbed her eyes and picked the sleet out of them before going through new text messages. Eleven new messages. She started to scroll through them, seeing the great majority of them were from Trish. However, one of the newest ones sent at six in the morning was from...Danny Rand? Why on Earth had Danny decided to text her?

She opened up the little tab and read the message: "Hey, Jess. It's been a while. I haven't seen or heard from either you or Luke since that night at Midland Circle. Colleen is busy and Ward has everything handled at Rand today. I already asked Luke and he said he was going to be busy today also. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite for lunch..?"

She thought about it for a few moments. Of the entire team, she felt like she knew Danny the least out of the three of them. She wasn't sure whether or not it was a good idea. She felt like he'd bring up Matt, and it would just kill her appetite and then there wouldn't have been a point in going out in the first place. She still wasn't comfortable talking about him yet. It was going to be a while until she stopped thinking about all the lovely things she liked about the guy and the guilt that's harnessed her all this time.

She decided to leave Danny on read until she got ready for the day...however ready she could get, anyways. The first thing she did was get up and get naked before heading to the bathroom. She realized she hadn't showered in two days. She was letting herself go big-time. She took a long, hot shower. The hot beams of water felt nice against her back. She thought about Matt again, her pulse slightly quickening. The water encompassed her in its warmth. She pretended it was him holding her in his arms. Holding her with all of his essence. Like his life depended on it.

She was starting to think her life depended on it too.

She washed up fairly quickly and turned off the water. She stepped out and grabbed the towel she kept on the shelf to her right. Once she dried up, she slipped back into her regular attire before grabbing her phone and replying to Danny's request.

"Sure, Iron Clad," was all she had to say.

No less than a minute later he responded: "Really? Great! Although it's a little passed 12."

Jessica hadn't even paid attention to the time. It was two in the afternoon. Ten seconds later he sent another message: "Late lunch it is then. I'll let you pick the joint."

Jessica retorted with: "And you'll pay."

Danny replied with a sigh in his next line of dragged out letters: "Annnnd I'll pay."

Jessica smirked at this: "How about pizza at Sacco's?"

Danny: "Works for me. Meet you in an hour?"

Jessica: "Sure, Iron Clad. Let's have lunch."

She put down her phone and sighed. She was probably going to regret this. Making Danny suffer with her sarcastic jokes wasn't going to be as fun without Matt's soft chuckle of approval (or disproval) in the background.

She grabbed her flask and swallowed a large gulp as the saddest expression covered her face. She looked at the scarf she left wrapped up on the nightstand.

Matt...

AN: Hello everyone! This is the first chapter. I hope you liked it, if you even made it this far...lol. By all means, I heavily encourage critique as this is the very first chapter of my very first rEaL story. I plan to update every other day. If I do manage to finish it otherwise, I will post as quickly as I can. As for chapter two, it will be from Matt's side of things. Chapter three is when I'll start merging both of the character's sides of things into one chapter and it will go from there. I can't wait to start banging this story out. Thanks for reading, and i'll see you next time.

FYI, once my account on Archive Of Our Own is activated, I will also begin uploading the story there.