Note: These characters mentioned or implied are not mine, but their respective owners at the flash. I did not create them nor the plots referenced as surrounding this circumstance.
I drew a breath and then he was gone. My best friend, the love of my life, was gone. I wanted to scream, and to shout. Instead I shed one last tear before I walked back into star labs. Back to the mess he left behind.
Everyone following behind, while my father placed his hand in comfort onto my shoulder. My father was still crying, but I was done. Done with crying as everyone entered into the damaged cortex. All of us staring at each other. Those close enough to Barry were crying. Except the one closest to him wasn't. I wasn't. I was going to keep running. I needed to keep running. However, my father wanted to hold me back. Make me grieve longer than I wanted to, than I should. "Iris sweety, are you okay?" I would tense up a bit. " Barry, he's gone, dad." He would look at me with worry as I spoke those words, all of them wavering in certainty. " Why aren't you crying?" He would ask. His response did more harm than good. It would cause me to hold in a breath that I didn't know I wanted to hold. He would continue. " It's okay to cry" I would grit my teeth, ready to respond, knowing what I had to say. Then my words escaped my mouth. " He wants me to keep running." Then came his response. "He would want you to mourn."
The rest of the night went by without another exchange between my father and I. Everyone spoke about Barry; they cried and were overly emotional. I faded into the background. Only when I arrived back to our, scratch that, my apartment, did I cry. I cried my eyes out, because I didn't have my Barry to keep me from making a misstep. Barry always kept me running, but now I felt like I was falling.