wel lewk, ermagerd, Spag's retrospectacularating another of his old fics. In the ever immortant words of Edupz, "I wanna die."
This old haunt, My Son the Heretic, is supposed to be dumb and not-so-seriously taken... let's put this into perpsective: the story I meant to be taken seriously and thought was one of my 'smart' old works is Ti Amo. You know, the only other retrospect currently reposted that I practically shat on for about thirteen chapters to the point where even making fun of it became a chore because the story was so long and tedious. Then I quit doing it because of those reasons.
Well thankfully this one is not only shorter, it's also not even finished. So, before you get your hopes up too much, yeah... there's no ending. Although I might do an experiment where after all this time... I'll actually try to finish it. Warts and all. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but it's something I'm meditating on. We'll see.
So without further ado, let's hop into a story of melodrama, dumb action, out-of-place pop and internet culture references, and retrospects that shamelessly rip-off the fun-poking styles of Cinema Sins, MST3K, and the Nostalgia Critic.
In the ever immortant words of Papa Franku, "IT'S TIME TO STOP!"
Lord knows why I don't follow that advice...
This!... is My Son the Heretic!
My Son the Heretic
Chapter I
A quiet grassy meadow. The grass three feet high, boulders planted in spots, tall trees surrounded the meadow. Wind blew softly making the grass sway and dance. The red hued sky of Sangheilios had a thin sheet of gray clouds covering the sun, though it softly glowed through in a dim white ball. All was quiet, birds tweeted happily, and the wind rustled leaves and grass. If one looked closely at the ground they could see a dark figure move silently through the grass. The Sangheili was crouching behind a rock listening hard. He heard some movement from behind him and whirled around with a wooden sword ready. Nothing behind him. He listened and heard nothing but the wind. Then movement out of the corner of his eye. He snapped his head in the direction and just made out a head disappear behind a boulder. The Sangheili slowly made his way to his opponent. He poked his head around to see if his opponent was where he last saw him. Nothing. The Sangheili looked behind him to make sure his opponent was not trying to sneak up on him. No one behind him. Where did he go? Then a sharp pain split on his back. Kajin Falhin spun around to meet his father's hand. He grabbed him by the neck and jabbed him in the waist with a wooden sword shaped like and Energy Sword.
"You are dead." Ryhon Nalhinee said to his son.
"Damn." breathed Kajin. His father smiled and helped him up.
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You did good...even though I killed you."
"How encouraging, thank you." said Kajin smirking. Ryhon chuckled and rested his hand on his shoulder.
"Soon, son, the Covenant will be glad to have you as a warrior. But come now. I smell dinner." the father and son walked through the meadow and followed a path through the woods. Soon they came to the two story house. Ryhon was on temporary leave from duty to teach his son how to fight and learn the ways of the Covenant. Of the Forerunners and the Prophets and most of all, the Great Journey. The two walked in and were greeted by Ryhon's other son, Hu'jiana. He was Kajin's twin brother. In just three days he would set out to High Charity with his father and his brother to continue the teachings. Their mother was proud of them both.
"So how terrible did he do?" asked Hu'jiana jokingly giving a playful shove to Kajin.
"You better watch your backside." said Ryhon walking into the kitchen smiling. He nuzzled his wife, Asora, tenderly as she stirred a pot of soup. She nuzzled back.
"Because I'll be kicking it soon." said Kajin smirking.
"Is that so, little one?" asked Hu'jiana in mock haughtiness. The two sat down at the dinner table with their parents. They said the nightly prayer of the Forerunner before eating their soup.
"Since we will be arriving to High Charity shortly, what is the enemy that you have been fighting so long?" asked Hu'jiana.
"Humans is what they are." said Ryhon.
"What have they done?" asked Kajin.
"Defying the Forerunners. They want to stop the Great Journey." Ryhon told them.
"Why?" asked Kajin in surprise. "Do they even know what the Great Journey is? I'm sure if they knew they would stop fighting."
"They are an evil race, son." said Ryhon seriously. "They are the sworn enemy of the Forerunner and wish death to the Covenant and its races."
"...I still don't see why they want to stop the Great Journey." said Kajin shaking his head. "If you ask me, I think they should be given a chance to join the Covenant. They can learn the ways, we can show them the path to salvation. Once we open their eyes-"
"Kajin." said Ryhon loudly. "They are the enemy. I have tried myself to reason with them. They spit in my face and declare that either someone named Jesus or Mohammad will save them. Some say that all religions are false, while others say nothing. They believe in false Gods. I ask them, 'have your so called 'lords' ever given you anything to prove their existence.' They shove these books in my face. The Bible and whatnot. All supposed to be texts written by prophets of their gods. I've read the books myself and all I see is hearsay. No proof of their existence, just fictional books of lies. Books that think they're right but are not. We Covenant know the Forerunner are real for they left us technology. And with this technology we will travel the galaxy, spreading the word of salvation, and destroying those who would stop it."
"But father." pressed Kajin. "Did the Humans ever say they want to stop the Great Journey? Sure they are misled in their religions but-"
"Kajin!" Ryhon shouted. "Tis heresy to offer Humans mercy! The Prophets know all and see all. They see that the Humans are not worthy for the Great Journey and should be dealt with."
"Listen to your father." said Asora. "He has been in the Covenant longer than you and knows what he speaks of. He has contended with the evil ones himself. He sees their madness and ends it. Neither of us ever want to hear you speak of Humans that way again."
"Fine." said Kajin lowly. The family finished their dinner. Hu'jiana and Kajin went to the second level of the house.
"What was all the Human sympathy about?" asked Hu'jiana.
"Sympathy? It wasn't sympathy. I just fail, and still do, to see any true offense the Humans have committed. I think they're just confused and scared. They can't take the fact of salvation seriously because it's hard for them to let go of their original false religions." Kajin told him.
"Well if you intend to keep your head you best keep those thoughts to yourself. The others, especially the Hierarchs, will not be so forgiving as Father. Maybe in due time we can try and reason with the Humans...though by the sound of Father it doesn't seem likely." Hu'jiana told him.
"You're probably right." mumbled Kajin. In truth Kajin didn't like the sound of the Prophets. He went in his room and sat at his desk thinking.
The Prophets are wrong. No one would give up the chance for salvation, least of all destroy it. Gods above these Prophets are going to be my leaders! They sound like fools. So far this Covenant junk is not appealing to me...I'll give it another chance. Maybe there are some people within High Charity that make sense. Kajin then decided to go to bed.
Three days later the family was gathered at the city of Iritopolis at the Space Station. Ryhon's ship the Shadow of the Colossi was docked and ready to take them to High Charity. Asora hugged her children and husband with tear filled eyes.
"Be safe, all of you." she said.
"Goodbye mother." said Kajin. The three floated into the Shadow of the Colossi through the Gravity lift.
"Wow." said Hu'jiana looking at the garage bay they were in. Wraith tanks, Ghosts, and crates of weapons were all over the place. Sangheili in blue and red armor went about doing tasks of all sorts. Some Unggoy were being supervised by a Minor Domo as they fixed the engine of a Wraith. Kig-Yar patrolled about with energy shields.
"This way." said Ryhon. The two eighteen year old Sangheili followed their father down the long and dark halls of his ship.
"What's the name of the fleet you command?" asked Kajin.
"The Fleet of Particular Justice." Ryhon responded. "We are scheduled to attack a Human planet in a few days. I'm bringing this up because I'm not letting you come. You'll be in High Charity being taught the Covenant ways and history. I know you both want to delve into action but you're not ready yet. Here we are!" Ryhon led them into an armory. He showed them two pairs of dark green armor.
"The rank before Minor Domo is Neophyte. The usual equipment for a Sangheili you will have to earn. If you complete a certain task or if a Master sees fit, you gain new equipment. Usually the first thing a Neophyte gets is a personal shield. Eventually you will be permitted to wield Plasma Pistols and Rifles."
"When do we get our Energy Swords?" asked Hu'jiana looking at his helmet.
"You'll have to work hard for that. I know the two of you are skilled. Actually you are above average for your age but still you must be at least Special Operations to gain an Energy Sword. So it might take a while, sorry." Ryhon explained. The two donned their armor and then followed their father to the bridge. The bridge was a large room with one raised platform in the middle. Hologram controls went round the length of the platform. One Zealot Sangheili looked at the controls while Unggoy and lower ranked Sangheili patrolled around. Ryhon led his sons up to the platform. The Zealot turned and said,
"Ah, Supreme Commander. Good to have you back."
"It is good to be back." Ryhon responded. "How goes my ship, Lirui?"
"Just as you left it excellency. Are these your sons?" he asked looking at the two Neophytes.
"Yes. This is Kajin and this is Hu'jiana. Kajin, Hu'jiana, this is Lirui Vaboisee the Sub-Commander of my ship. He has been taking care of it since I was teaching you." the two nodded politely and Lirui said,
"Well I hope you're ready for your training ahead. It's not particularly easy. Neither is High Charity. You will have much to learn."
"Oh we're ready." said Hu'jiana confidently. He glanced at his father who was mouthing "excellency".
"Excellency." added Hu'jiana hastily.
"Ha! Usually all Neophytes forget to say 'Excellency' in their first days." said Lirui smiling.
"By the way, you may be the lowest ranking Sangheili, but the rest of the races of the Covenant are under you." Ryhon told them. "Unggoy...I love them and I hate them at the same time. You can beat them, insult them, and make them do even the most ridiculous of requests. They won't hesitate." The two brothers looked at the short creatures as they waddled around the room. Hu'jiana grinned,
"This'll be fun."
"Just don't kill them." said Lirui before smirking. "Unless you have a good excuse." he added. He and Ryhon laughed at that.
"So...what do we do on the ship?" asked Kajin.
"You're free to do what you wish until we get to High Charity. Just don't get in anyones way that's all." Ryhon told them. "I'll call you when we arrive." The two nodded and set off down the halls.
"I hope we get to learn how to fly a Banshee." said Hu'jiana.
"I think we learn to pilot everything." said Kajin.
"Good. I'd love to go around in those Wraiths, blowing Humans into the air." Hu'jiana chuckled.
"Yes." mumbled Kajin.
"Oh will you stop with the 'poor Humans' thing." said Hu'jiana in annoyance. "You'll get your head cut off if you keep it up."
"..."
"Kajin, they're just Humans. They're not Sangheili or Prophets. Just Humans."
"'Just Humans'" spat Kajin. "They're just like any other race in the Covenant. They have children, they have wives, they have parents, they feel things. They have emotion."
"Forerunner's above I'm starting to think you really are a heretic." sighed Hu'jiana. "If father heard you talk like that he'd skin you alive."
"No one listens to me." retorted Kajin. "All you and father listen to are those stinking Prophets. What's so special about them? They just sit on their thrones all day and drone on about the Forerunners."
"Do you believe the Forerunners ascended into Godhood? Huh? Because I know I believe that."
"Is there evidence?" asked Kajin. Hu'jiana stopped and looked at him hard. "Like the Human religions, is there evidence that the Forerunner are gods?"
"Well the texts-" began Hu'jiana.
"Texts!" cried Kajin flinging his hands in the air. "Texts, brother, texts! Just like the Bible! A text that is hearsay. Father taught me something in that little lecture those nights ago. The Forerunners can be just as phony as the Human Gods."
"Kajin! Listen to yourself!" said Hu'jiana in alarm.
"No! You listen to yourself! Listen to the Prophets! Do they even know what they're talking about?! No! The answer is no! Sure they left us fine technology and that's it! If they bothered to leave us technology they'd bother to give us instructions on how to ascend into Godhood!" Hu'jiana sighed and walked away.
"Yes just don't listen!" called Kajin. "Don't listen to reason! Only hear what you want to hear! Take the sugar coated lies the Prophets are spewing!" Hu'jiana was gone then. Kajin was breathing hard and his heart was racing. Who ever knew you could gain such adrenaline from a simple speech. But Kajin was angry. At his father, his brother, and the Prophets. Every species in the Covenant at that. He needed to sit down. He headed to an aircraft bay and sat on a crate that was lying on its side. Thankfully the bay was empty of people. Just machinery. Kajin sat there for maybe seven minutes until he heard the boooop of the door then it opened. Sangheili footsteps clacked in and towards Kajin. He figured it was a worker just walking passed him to something but then they stopped a few feet behind him, waiting for him to take notice. Kajin turned his head then stood when he saw his father in a large purple headdress, a long purple cape, and purple armor. Ryhon stepped closer to him and stared at him for a moment with hard cold eyes. Then to Kajin's shock he hit him hard in the side of the face with the back of his hand. The sound was short and unimportant sounding, and it could be heard around the bay up to the second story. Kajin rubbed the burning spot where his father's hand had struck him.
"Hu'jiana told me everything you said." he said calmly, his voice strong and even. "Everyone has their opinions but yours are treason and heresy. I have taught you as much as I can on the ways of the Covenant and the Forerunner and our great religion. It seems nothing I said has seeped into you at all. Now if it were up to someone else you'd be dead at this moment. But seeing that the one taking you to High Charity is me I have not decided to have you killed. I'll give you one more chance. You will go to High Charity and swear an oath on upholding our long lived culture."
"Culture?" asked Kajin. "By culture you mean going to other worlds and forcing them to join our corrupt cannibal war machine called the Covenant." Ryhon's eyes widened. But he didn't do anything.
"How could you say such a thing?" he asked in an awe struck voice. It was then that Kajin saw how weak his father was. How deluded. Conforming to a tyranny that camouflaged itself with promises of salvation. Though the Sangheili were not slaves as the Unggoy or Kig-Yar were. They were mental slaves. Week minded Prophet supporters.
"Because," began Kajin. "That's what I think. And you can't change that. So...are you going to kill me now that I'm a heretic?" Ryhon shook his head 'no' in amazement.
"No." Kajin felt good that his father would still not kill him. "You can't be a heretic." Then Kajin lost hope. All his father really cared about was whether he was with the Covenant.
"Well...I am." said Kajin. Now he knew he was dead...unless...
Kajin snatched his father's energy sword and activated it. Ryhon did not see this coming but what he did see now was his son pointing and activated Energy Sword at him.
"Son." he said in shock.
"You still call me 'son'?" asked Kajin. "I'm a heretic. You are just a weak Prophet lover. Apologies father but I think I must join the Humans in their fight against the Covenant." Ryhon blinked, trying to comprehend what he just heard.
"Join the..." he said dumbly.
"Yes. Or who knows, after everything we Sangheili have put them through, they might want to kill me. But at least I can die free and away from the Covenant."
"Kajin listen to yourself." His father practically begged.
"Ha! That's what Hu'jiana said. And I'm going to tell you what I told him. You listen to yourself. Believing the hearsay that Forerunners rose to Godhood. Texts, father. Texts like the Bible. Sure the Forerunner existed at one time or another but now they're gone. They're extinct. I don't know how but I have a feeling we'll find out soon. Just a gut feeling. If you pursue something long enough you'll find it." Then Kajin heard clip-clopping beside him. It stopped. Keeping a wary eye on his skilled father he glanced in the direction. An Unggoy in black armor had stopped and was observing them in confusion.
"Umm what going on, excellencies?"
"You." Kajin pointed at the Unggoy. "Are going to help a heretic escape. Can you fly that thing?" Kajin pointed to a Spirit dropship. He looked at his father to make sure he wasn't trying anything. Ryhon was to caught up in his pathetic emotions to try to incapacitate his son.
"Me can fly it, excellency...help heretic escape? You kidding right?"
"No. Want to know who the heretic is?" asked Kajin.
"Who?" asked the Unggoy.
These things are very bright. And now he's my only chance out of here. Kajin thought but instead saying,
"Me." The Unggoy swallowed nervously.
"Son-" began Ryhon but Kajin interjected harshly,
"Don't try and talk me out of it. Unggoy, start the ship."
"No, don't. That's an order." Ryhon boomed. The Unggoy looked back and forth to Kajin and Ryhon, like a confused dog unsure whether to listen to one owner or the other.
"I've got a good reason as to why you should follow my orders, despite my rank." Kajin said to him. He snatched a Plasma rifle from a crate (making sure his father wasn't trying something) and pointed it at the frightened Unggoy. "Your life depends on it." Kajin finished. The Unggoy said,
"Sorry purple excellency but green excellency has gun and me not want to die." he scrambled in the cockpit of the Spirit and started it up.
"Think, Kajin." begged Ryhon.
"I have been thinking. Thinking of what you told me at dinner that one night. And I've thought and made my decision. I'm going to dismantle the Covenant and make you see what this cannibal war machine really is. A cannibal war machine." Kajin saw out of the corner of his eye, movement. Too big to be an Unggoy. Kajin, out of, instinct slashed at the one beside him. He quickly pointed the sword back at Ryhon but his father was no longer staring at Kajin dumbstruck, but the one he had slashed. Kajin glanced at the one, then back at his father. Kajin then did a double take. Hu'jiana stood rigid still running his hands over a long gash going diagonally across his torso. Purple blood leaked in thick drops and drooled down his green armor. He looked up at Kajin with shocked eyes before falling back.
"No!" cried Ryhon launching himself at Hu'jiana. He caught him before he hit the ground and cradled his son. He looked up at Kajin.
"Look what you did! Look what you did! Your own brother! Your brother, Kajin, your brother! How could you!?"
"I-I-no." stuttered Kajin. "I-I would never hurt him-"
"But you did!" Ryhon cried. "You did! Why?!"
"I didn't know!" Kajin cried, backing away. "I-I- I have to go. I can't stay. I-I'm sorry about Hu'jiana. But I'm not sorry about defecting. Goodbye, both of you."
"Kajin." rasped Hu'jiana. "Kajin." he repeated.
"I'm sorry, brother." Kajin was starting to tear up. "I'm so sorry." with that he turned and hopped into one of the U-prongs of the Spirit. He then rushed to the cockpit. The Unggoy was sitting there.
"Take us to...where is the Human planet? The one scheduled to be attacked? Do you know?"
"I know but-" began the Unggoy.
"Take us there."
"What!?" the Unggoy cried. "They kill us!"
"I don't care just go or I'll kill you!" shouted Kajin. The Unggoy obliged and flew out of the Shadow of the Colossi.
"It take us one day to get to Human planet without slipspace, excellency. We have food and air for journey too. Enough for three day journey. Lot's of methane tanks."
"Good, good." said Kajin without even knowing it. He left the cockpit and stood in the part of the ship leading to either of the Prongs. He put his back to the wall and slid down. Then he cried silently, with his face in his hands. He almost...maybe he did kill Hu'jiana. He was an idiot, a blooming idiot. But...he felt free now. Now that he knew he wouldn't have to go to High Charity he felt free. He could do anything he wanted, go wherever he wanted...as long as it was three days away. It seemed he had no choice but to go to the Human planet and beg them to understand he was not the enemy. They may throw him in the brig if he was convincing enough and that was better than being killed.
Kajin wiped the tears from his eyes and took deep breaths to steady himself. After he regained his composure he went into a U-Prong. He tripped over something and nearly fell on his face.
"Watch where you're goin' you alien bastard!" shouted a gruff voice that was very un-Sangheili-ish. He looked down at the one who spoke. Some alien he had never seen before. Its legs were straight, it was at least half the size of a Sangheili, it had some strange fuzzy black line on its brown face, under its nose and above his single jawed mouth. He wore a strange hat and a just as strange khaki armor that was grimy and covered in all sorts of multicolored blood.
"Take a picture, squiddy, it'll last longer." it said. Kajin tilted his head.
"Squiddy?" he repeated.
"Yeah you catch on." the thing continued. "That's what you are."
"Sarge, you might piss it off. It probably doesn't understand you but it probably understands the way you're talkin to it." said another light voice. Lighter than the first aliens. Kajin turned to see at least four more of the things. Though they had lighter skin. Much lighter. Except for one. He had the same toned skin as the first. They all wore the same clothes as the first one. They were bound by plasma cuffs.
"Don't worry. I defected from the Covenant...as crazy as that sounds." he said to them. They only stared blankly at him. "I knew it would sound crazy." he mumbled.
"Aww. He's tryin' to teach us his language. Sorry squiddy but I failed social studies in school." said the dark skinned creature. The others snickered despite their warning to him a moment ago.
"What are you talking about?" asked Kajin now a little frustrated.
"That's only a myth, that if one person listens to a language long enough he'll learn it." the dark skinned one retorted.
They're not speaking the Covenant language, they're speaking another one that my helmet is translating. Kajin realized. Then something dawned on him.
"Humans?" asked Kajin in a dialect that sounded like a question.
"Ah!" the dark skinned man clapped. "He figured it out!" Kajin grunted and opened a closet.
"Oh shit! Sarge he's gonna shoot us now! Thanks allot!" cried what sounded like a female Human.
"Covenant kill their prisoners all the time. Nothing knew. It'd happen sooner or later." he retorted hotly. Kajin found what he was looking for. Translators. He grabbed five and handed them to each Human. They looked at them blankly. Kajin sighed and ripped one out of a Marine's hand and tapped him in the ear with it. Then he held it out for the Marine to take. He put it to his ear and the others followed suit.
"Can you understand me now?" Kajin asked.
"Yeah." said the dark skinned man. "So what now? You start bragging at how you're all gonna become gods and how inferior our race is, like you arrogant bastards always do." he said angrily.
"No. I left the Covenant. I...want to join you."
"Say what!?" cried the dark skinned man. Kajin undid his plasma cuffs. Now the man was surprised.
"Are...you for real?" asked another Marine.
"Yes." responded Kajin.
"I don't believe it." said the dark skinned man looking dis-trustingly at Kajin. Kajin tossed him his plasma rifle and energy sword.
"Start believing because I'm...'for real' as he says." said Kajin gesturing to one Marine.
"So, shield boy, you wouldn't mind if I did a little target practice?" asked the dark skinned man raising the rifle and pointing it at Kajin.
"No wait I-" said Kajin in alarm but the man pulled the trigger. A singe plasma bolt pelted Kajin in the arm. He roared in pain and staggered back. The dark skinned man and the others didn't expect this.
"I tried to tell you I have no shields!" cried Kajin through gritted teeth.
"Damn. Okay bud I believe you." said the dark skinned a little embarrassed.
"Gimme that!" shouted Kajin snatching the weapons away from the man.
"Alright, McGarver, patch him up." ordered the man.
"Uhh-"
"Just do it Marine!" barked the superior.
"Yes sir." replied the "Marine" as "Sarge" called him. He stepped up to Kajin and nervously requested,
"Please let me see your arm." Kajin hesitated then let the Marine look at his wound. The Marine started to treat and "Sarge" asked,
"So, squiddy, what's your real name...even though I'll call you squiddy anyway." said Sarge.
"Kajin Falhin. Yours?"
"Johnson. Avery Johnson. But everyone just calls me Johnson because I have a big one. Oh and in Human slang johnson means penis." The Marines and Johnson chuckled at that. Kajin looked at him like he was crazy and they laughed harder.
"Okay..." responded Kajin.
"Hahaha!...anyway this is Kaitlyn Weathers." the female marine. "That's Bill McGarver patching up that burn...oh and I'm sorry I shot you."
"You didn't know." said Kajin forgivingly.
"This is Mark Twilinger, and Stefan Blanchard." Mark was dark skinned like Johnson. Kaitlyn had long brown hair, McGarver had tan hair, and Stefan was blond haired and blue eyed.
"Green armor. That's new." said Kaitlyn.
"Oh. I'm a Neophyte. That's my rank...or that was my Covenant rank."
"So what makes you wanna help us?" asked Mark.
"I...I just think that the Prophets are false. That they've convinced everyone, including my father, that you Humans are evil monsters that want to destroy us. Quite the opposite. My race and the rest of the Covenant are the monsters. They've killed off your race for some thirty years."
"Pretty much." said Johnson setting a brown paper thing on fire then sticking it in his mouth before blowing smoke out of his mouth. "How old're you? You look pretty young for a soldier."
"Well that's what my rank is. Neophyte. I was originally on my fathers ship traveling to the Covenant Capitol City, High Charity, to learn the ways of the Covenant and how to fight. But I said some...things about the Forerunner religion in front of my brother. He repeated those things to my father. Now he was gracious enough not to kill me, for what I said was heresy. He gave me a second chance but I blew it."
"How did you escape? And who's flying this ship?" asked Kaitlyn.
"An Unggoy."
"Hahaha! Unggoy are hilarious." laughed McGarver.
"You know their proper race name? I thought you gave Covenant insulting terms like 'squiddy'." said Kajin.
"Proper race name? We just call them Unggoy." said Johnson.
"But you just said their real name 'Unggoy'." said Kajin growing confused.
"Ung-goy! We know!"
"Wait. Oh I see. Our translators..." Kajin took off his helmet and said,
"Say Unggoy."
"Grunt." responded Johnson.
"Ah. When you say Grunt I hear Unggoy. Take off your translator." Johnson took his off.
"Unggoy. Grunt." Kajin said to him. They put their translators back on.
"I get it." said Johnson. He chuckled. "That was weird."
"Yes...so, how come you were on this ship?" asked Kajin.
"We were captured." explained Johnson. "One squid-face left us here in shackles. Then after a moment you came in. Obviously he didn't know this ship was gonna be hijacked by a kid and an Unggoy." he chuckled as he took a puff of the smoke-stick. A strange but pleasant smell filled the U-prong. It was the smoke-stick. "So your father came and what?"
"Oh. I said some more anti-Prophet things and declared myself a heretic. He was dumbstruck and I snagged his energy sword off of him. Then I threatened to kill the Unggoy with a Plasma rifle. He's flying now and to your world." Johnson coughed and the Marines looked wide-eyed at him.
"You fool!" cried Johnson. "You're probably being followed and we'd be shot out of the sky when we get to Reach."
"Humans." said Kajin seriously standing. "The Covenant already know where your planet is." the cigar fell out of Johnson's mouth. "And they are going to destroy it. My father's fleet. When we get to Reach you can radio your military and tell them not to shoot the ship...and me. Then warn your leadership that a fleet is coming to attack." The Marines were silent. They almost couldn't believe what they were hearing...and hearing from. An Elite that left the Covenant saves them from certain death my accident, he allies himself, and now he's telling them that in a few days a Covenant fleet, his father's no less, is coming to glass the last colony. The only thing left to glass would be Earth. And they couldn't and wouldn't let that happen. Johnson then stood. He shook hands with a surprised Kajin.
"Kajin. You're a new ally to the UNSC." Johnson declared. The other marines had to agree.
"Well...uh...thank you?" Kajin said dumbly.
"Thank you." said Kaitlyn. "We'll have the table set for when the Covenant come for dinner." she grinned determinedly.
"Hoo-rah!" cried the other Marines, including Johnson. Kajin then realized, his brother, his father, and everyone he loved was the enemy now. Though he still loved them they may not love him back. He's just a treacherous heretic. Hu'jiana probably hates him most of all. Kajin then walked away abruptly. The Marines watched him go in questioning, but he disappeared, probably to the other prong.
"What's wrong with him?" asked McGarver. Johnson shrugged. Kaitlyn was the only one that noticed the distress in Kajin's eyes. She got up to follow,
"Uh Kaitlyn." Stefan said. She turned to him. "You know...you're not really thinking..."
"What?" asked Kaitlyn in annoyance.
"He may have...told us what's up with the Covenant but...he could just be tricking us." Stefan said to her earnestly. Kaitlyn saw Kajin's sincerity. It always seemed to her that women could see into others and men couldn't. She ignored Stefan's warnings and went into the other prong. Since Covenant ships never had seats Kajin was sitting on the floor. Kaitlyn carefully walked to him. He looked up then looked down at the floor.
"Yes?" he asked gloomily. Kaitlyn sat down next to him.
"I'm guessing your guessing that your family hates you." Kaitlyn said. Kajin sighed.
"It always seems that women could see into people." he said. "My mother and even my sister could see right into me...my father makes an exception though because...well...he's my father. Parents, male or female, always see in their children. I guess you saw my distress." Kajin looked at her.
"I actually know how you feel." said Kaitlyn. "My parents opposed of me joining the Marine Core. They said, 'You'd be much better as a writer, or a painter, or even a politician.' I said to them, 'you don't get it. Earth is in danger. I don't know what fairy-tale world you're living in where everyone lives happily ever after, but in this world people die. Planets have been destroyed. There is a genocidal alien group in the sky that wants to burn us and our worlds.' So I joined...and now they won't talk to me. Just because I want to protect them." Kaitlyn sighed. Kajin was touched by this story and now depressed.
Is this what my race has reduced the Humans into? Optimistic fools that pretend they're all safe and sound? Kajin didn't realize he was muttering what he thought.
"Pretty much." Kaitlyn responded. He looked at her and she was smiling. Kajin smiled back,
"Sorry." he replied.
"Don't be. Oh and by the way Humans always thought they were safe and sound in the face of danger. Even before the Covenant. Global warming is one of those things. Though it's a long story and it happened five hundred years ago."
"...why so friendly with me?" Kaitlyn looked at him in confusion. "I mean..." Kajin shuffled his hooves uncomfortably. "We Sangheili have been killing off your race for decades."
"Have you ever killed a Human?" asked Kaitlyn.
"Gods no!" Kajin exclaimed. "I've never killed anything."
"You saw your Prophets' falseness and you left. Then you tell us a fleet is coming to destroy our planet. I think you're a good person, Kajin." Kaitlyn said resting her hand on his massive shoulder.
"Thank you. I expected the first Human I saw would want to rip my throat out...well you probably did before you found out I'm not the enemy." Kajin chuckled slightly along with Kaitlyn. Twelve hours passed before the Unggoy said over the intercom,
"Green excellency! We at the Human planet. They shoot us me know it!"
"Not on my watch...maybe you, Unggoy." Johnson said back.
"Great Gedwags! They on the ship!" he cried not on the intercom but from the room. They could hear his high pitched voice from within.
"They've been on the ship." yelled Kajin. "The whole time."
"Crazy heretic!" the Unggoy yelled. Then he burst forth from the cockpit with a plasma pistol. "Burn!" he cried firing the plasma rifle. Everyone yelled out and dodged the green bolts. But Stefan was quick, and grabbing his MA5B, shot the Unggoy to death. Everyone regained their composure.
"Perfect. Now we have no pilot." said Kajin.
"No problem. I'll call the boys down on Reach and have 'em pick us up." said Johnson. He walked into the cockpit with Kajin following. Johnson sat down and said,
"Don't worry I know how to work Covie radios." said Johnson switching one on. "This is Sergeant Major Avery Johnson of Bravo Team. Does anybody read?" After a moment,
"Copy that Sergeant Major, this is Captain Keyes. You mind telling me what you're doing on that Covenant ship."
"You won't believe me." said Johnson.
"Just tell me, Sergeant." said Keyes impatiently.
"A Covenant Sangheili helped us escape, sir."
"..."
"Sir?"
"I'm here...say that again, Sergeant." Keyes said in a voice obviously shocked.
"A Sangheili helped us escape from a Covenant Cruiser. He wants to join us. You'll have to hear his story." Johnson told Keyes. After a moment of silence Keyes said,
"Copy that, Sergeant, you have permission to land on my ship the Pillar of Autumn."
"Sir we can't. The pilot's dead. An Unggoy that we were forced to put down." Johnson said.
"What about the Sangheili?" asked Keyes.
"He's just a kid sir-"
"I'm eighteen not a two year old." said Kajin a little annoyed.
"He's eighteen and highly inexperienced on flying this." Johnson corrected himself.
"Was that him talking?" asked Keyes.
"Yeah. I trust him, sir. And it's rare that I trust squiddies, midgets, or chicken lizards." said Johnson. "Hell, I even like him!"
"Okay Sergeant." said Keyes. "You'll feel a slight rumbling as we pull you into the Autumn's bay." Keyes informed. After a moment the ship shook and then swayed.
"I've told the Marines not to attack the Sangheili so he can come out...just stay with him, Sergeant, and I want him to turn over any weapons he might have on him." Johnson looked at Kajin for a reply.
"Very well...Cop-tin." said Kajin using the unfamiliar word. A seemingly pleased silence on the other end then,
"Alright, come on out." The Marines opened the door on the side of the prong. They hopped down on the metallic floor. They looked around at the other Marines. Some were staring either curiously or with daggers at Kajin who tried to ignore the stares.
"Sergeant Major Johnson and company report to the bridge." called Keyes' voice over the ship's intercom. Johnson and his team surrounded Kajin protectively as they made their way to the bridge.
"The circling isn't necessary." Kajin said to Johnson and the others.
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't." said Johnson. "You can't be too careful with these young trigger happy fools." They came to the bridge. Two techs saluted Johnson and his team but lowered their hands and stared at Kajin as he walked by, ignoring the stares. They looked at each other after he passed then resumed their work. Kajin and everyone else came to the front of the bridge. A large glass view screen with different readings glowed. Down below to the front of the screen were two pilots suspended in chairs looking at screens in front of them. The ship viewed a beautiful planet with the sun behind it. One man with gray hair looked at the view screen. He turned to the Marines and they all saluted. Kajin guessed he should give good first impressions and did his own awkward salute.
"At ease." said Keyes. The Marines lowered their hands and Kajin did the same. Keyes looked hard at Kajin. Kajin perceived that he was trying to stare him down. Perhaps testing him. Kajin wished not to fail the test and stared back. For a long time they stared but eventually a satisfied look came upon Keyes' features.
"So...what is your name?" Keyes asked.
"Kajin Falhin...excellen...sir." Kajin replied awkwardly.
"Captain Jacob Keyes." Keyes held out his hand and Kajin shook it. "So you helped Sergeant Johnson and his company to escape. How?" asked Keyes. Kajin then explained how he did not believe the Prophets, how he had threatened his father and accidentally slashed his brother, then literally stumbling upon Johnson in the Spirit.
"And I have something very important to tell you, Captain." Kajin said after the story.
"Go ahead." said Keyes.
"My father's fleet, the Fleet of Particular Justice (such an inaccurate name) is coming to your planet to attack it." Keyes was dumbstruck like the Marines were when he heard this. The techs stopped dead in their work and stared at Kajin with the same expression. Keyes regained composure quickly and asked,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. He told me so." Kajin said. Keyes looked into his eyes. He looked hard and saw only truth and sincerity in Kajin's eyes. He sighed and his shoulders slumped.
"I'll alert all of Reach. When exactly is he coming, Kajin?"
"He only said he'll come in a few days but not the exact number of days. When he says few he usually means two or three, that's all I can tell you."
"It's...enough." said Keyes. "Thank you, Kajin. You're all dismissed." Keyes then asked a communications officer to put him on a line with Fleet Admiral Kane. Johnson and the rest then left.
"So Kajin...let's just give you a tour of the place." Johnson led Kajin through the base as the rest of Bravo Team went their own way. He showed Kajin the cafeteria, shooting range, and rooms. Though they didn't have any beds for his size.
"So...I wanna see what you got." said Johnson as he led him to the shooting range.
"...what do you mean?" asked Kajin.
"Shootin' stuff. You know we've go allot of Plasma weaponry we don't use. We can use it, we just don't know how to give it energy. We've managed to snag some pretty well energized plasma stuff. Needlers are no problem since they're re-loadable. No doubt you ain't even used a bullet based gun. I'll teach you on those guns." Johnson patted him on the shoulder and led him into the shooting range. Kajin chuckled quietly.
My Master is a Human I rescued by accident rather than a brainwashed fool that couldn't care less for me.
"Here we go." said Johnson hefting a crate and opening it. Plasma rifles were stacked on top of each other but were turned off. Kajin grabbed one and turned it on. The HUD on his helmet informed him the rifle was at 94 percent. Pretty good. But he decided to use the one with the least charge. The one was at 70 percent. He grabbed a plasma pistol and went to a shooting booth with Johnson. A target cut in the form of a Sangheili descended.
"Sorry about the target but you do realize that your own race is the enemy now." Johnson said seriously.
"I do." said Kajin sadly. He figured he better get used to the fact that he would have to kill his own kind from now on. He readied the rifle and pumped out some rounds. The rifle whined as he held down the trigger. But before it over heated Kajin released the trigger. After a moment he squeezed the trigger again.
"You Sangheili have the time a plasma rifle overheats memorized?" asked Johnson.
"No. The meter is in our HUD. Plus here," Kajin pointed the the curvy white lines on the left side of the rifle. Johnson looked at them. Kajin fired a bit and Johnson saw a colored bar go up the lines. It was first green, it changed to yellow in the middle, and became red at the very end. But Kajin stopped before the red could fill in the small circle on the end of the line.
"I never noticed that." said Johnson. "But since we're short on those you should learn how to work Human weapons. They're easy once you get a bit of practice." Johnson pulled out an MA5B assault rifle and fired bursts from it. The bullet tore through the target with ease and made holes in the wall behind. Once the clip was spent Johnson released the empty one and slapped in a full magazine. The process of reloading was simple and Kajin memorized it fine.
"Your turn." said Johnson handing the rifle to Kajin. Kajin took the weapon and fired. The recoil was much harder than he anticipated and missed a few rounds. When he fired again he hit this time. The weapon was...adequate. He much preferred Plasma weaponry rather than the hard projectiles of Human guns. The next weapon he tried was a shotgun. This he enjoyed.
"8 gauge pump action. Been known to tear through a blue Sangheili's shield and kill him in one shot. Easy to reload but the time it takes is a pain in the ass." Johnson explained. What he said proved true. Kajin grew easily frustrated when reloading the shells individually.
"Can't you have magazines for shotguns?" asked Kajin angrily as he dropped another shell. He left it on the floor and fed another one in.
"Probably. But I don't know why we don't. It's stupid I know. And pump action? There was a semi-automatic shotgun over five hundred years ago. I don't know what happened to it but it's gone. I'd rather have that one with a clip of shells." Johnson said lighting a smoke-stick again.
"What are those?" asked Kajin looking at it.
"Cigars. Good stuff, just don't let the shit fill your lungs, it's killer. I don't know how you'd be able to have one."
"It smells good." Kajin remarked before firing the newly reloaded shotgun. At least if you made every shot count the reloading wouldn't be so bad.
"This stuff is straight from Cuba. A little island country on...one of our planets. They grow good tobacco."
"Grow? You mean that's a plant?" asked Kajin.
"Yeah and a damn good one." Johnson smoked a bit more. "Kajin." Kajin looked at him. "...never mind." Kajin raised his brow.
"What?" he pressed. Johnson sighed. "You do realize that...we might have to kill your father and brother...just to protect ourselves. Kajin looked down.
"I know." he murmured. Johnson remained quiet after that. Kajin put down the shotgun.
I'm sorry father. But you're the enemy now.
0000000000
Ryhon sat in the medical bay of the Shadow of the Colossi. Hu'jiana lay in the bed beside his seat, a blanket draped over his bare chested frame. A long bandage with some styptic had been applied but Hu'jiana had lost allot of blood. It would take him several days to fully recover, and even longer for the wound to heal. Ryhon sighed.
You fool. You damn fool, Kajin, why? Ryhon sighed. His son was gone. Dead...or had he managed to convince the Humans he was an ally? Maybe. But it was a long shot. Ryhon heard the door open and looked up. His old friend Rtas Vadumee had came in.
"Greetings Supreme Commander." he said solemnly stepping closer.
"Yes good to see you too." said Ryhon lowly looking at his unconscious son. Rtas was silent for a moment. Then he said,
"You've been given a choice, Ryhon." Ryhon looked up at him.
"What choice?" he asked. Rtas sighed and sat down next to his friend.
"Since occasions such as this are...rare," Rtas could honestly say "Never happened before" but he didn't want to upset Ryhon anymore with giving him the fact that Kajin was the first Neophyte deserter. "You have two choices...you can choose to still consider Kajin of your family. As a result you will be demoted to nothing more than a Major...and stay Major forever. The other choice is to disown your son from your family. You will keep your rank as a result." Ryhon bowed his head. He shut his eyes tight and clenched his fist so hard that it shook. Then he relaxed.
"I...will disown him...but not without good reason." Rtas looked at him quizzically. "If he did what he said he was going to do...he is with the Humans." he looked at Rtas who looked back. "I can help him. I can save him. Reason with him. I will not let my son miss out on the Great Journey...I will stay behind if I have to." Rtas nodded.
"I admire you dedication. And I feel for you. I'm sure we can help your son." Rtas rested his hand on Ryhon's shoulder. "I'll help you, friend."
"Thank you, Rtas." The two were silent for a long time. Ryhon realized something.
"We cannot glass the Human planet until I find my son." he said.
"We can hold off those pathetic Human ships for days. We'll buy you enough time to find him." said Rtas reassuringly.
"I hope so." sighed Ryhon. He stood. "It may upset the Hierarchs but I intend to attack the planet early. They may be the Prophet's orders to hold but my son comes first and always will." Rtas stood.
"I am always behind you, Ryhon. Besides, you are one of the most famous and successful Supreme Commanders in history. I don't think we'll receive more than a scolding from the Hierarchs." Rtas smirked. "Old ones, so tender." Ryhon laughed.
"Better stow it." he said jokingly. Rtas chuckled.
"Lead the way excellency. I'll drag Kajin in here myself for you."
"Thank you for the support." said Ryhon gratefully. He took a final look at Hu'jiana then the two headed to the bridge so they could begin their attack on Reach.
0000000000
(1). "A quiet grassy meadow. The grass three feet high, boulders planted in spots, tall trees surrounded the meadow. Wind blew softly making the grass sway and dance. The red hued sky of Sangheilios had a thin sheet of gray clouds covering the sun, though it softly glowed through in a dim white ball. All was quiet, birds tweeted happily, and the wind rustled leaves and grass."
Look, I know I said this would be a dumb action story... and it will be, you just might have to sit through dumb atmosphere setting. I mean, it's not terrible, but it just reads off kind of awkwardly. It's less like I'm trying to paint a vividly detailed painting through words, and more like I'm listing off details of a picture that already exists and doing that in the most mundane way possible. Like I'm at a board meeting reading off last week's minutes.
(2). "The Sangheili was crouching behind a rock listening hard." I read that sentence and all I can picture is the guy's face all scrunched up, his body all tense and eyes watering like he's dropping a massive deuce.
I'm twenty-six as of writing this and as you can see, my mental faculties haven't aged a day since writing MSH (which I wrote back when I was eighteen or so).
(3). "'You are dead.' Ryhon Nalhinee said to his son." Nawt big soup rice.
(4). "'Damn.' breathed Kajin." Ahhh, this was back when I realized you were supposed to put a comma instead of a period at the end of dialogue if the following words were describing who or how someone was saying that particular line of dialogue.
Look, I know there's probably a technical term for that, but I'll be fucked if I know what it is. I'm just an amateur ragging on an amateur that used to be my past self.
(5). "'Don't be so hard on yourself. You did good...even though I killed you.'" This such a huge oxymoron that it's pretty much pointless to try making fun of it with an even more extreme oxymoron as an example.
(6). "Ryhon was on temporary leave from duty to teach his son how to fight and learn the ways of the Covenant. Of the Forerunners and the Prophets and most of all, the Great Journey. The two walked in and were greeted by Ryhon's other son, Hu'jiana. He was Kajin's twin brother. In just three days he would set out to High Charity with his father and his brother to continue the teachings. Their mother was proud of them both."
Ah, now this is a good example of 'show versus tell.' So, any aspiring writers reading this, keep in mind that because we're working on a text-based format, it is okay to tell as opposed to show in some cases, such as explaining a past event. However, when it comes to characters and their motives or feelings, their relationships, etc. you need to show how they feel, unless the character him or herself is trying to hide their feelings, but reflects upon them introspectively.
So I pretty much just vomit out a statement of facts, like the brothers being twins, what they're being taught, and how their mother feels about them. Wouldn't it be more interesting if you were introduced to their dynamics organically? As in them just acting like them? Not only would you be able to identify these characters, it would feel natural and establish a better connection with you as a reader.
(7). "He nuzzled his wife, Asora..." Ah, ah! See? Teenage Spog Trope Number 328, "Recycling a name of a character from a different story." Sure, she's just going to be a throwaway house-wife we'll never hear from again, but still. That's lazy. And this is coming from a guy who named an Elder Scrolls Khajiit character Bastet after the Egyptian cat goddess of the same name (for those who are unaware, Khajiit are cat-people).
(8). "They said the nightly prayer of the Forerunner before eating their soup." Fft, the hell would a Forerunner dinner prayer sound like, anyway? "O Dear transcended eldritch race, we thank you for this bounty that has nothing to do with all the lazor weapons and spacey ships we reverse engineered to go on a galactic conquest with. Amen. Pass the stuffing."
(9). Okay, so during dinner Hu'jiana asks who the great enemy of the Covenant is... uh, isn't this something any citizen of any Covenant race would know? During the last few decades their entire religion was based on a crusade against these people. You're telling me no English people who lived during the Crusade era knew that their soldiers were running off to the Middle East to kill Muslims and reclaim the Holy Land? Or that no American citizen during WWII knew we were fighting Nazis unless they were drafted? THIS MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CAN'T HAVE A CRUSADE OR WAR WITHOUT AN EVIL BOOGEYMAN TO JUSTIFY IT!
(10). God, the argument about humans being heretics is the most generic "Questioning the morality of dogma" discussion I've ever seen. It just sounds so... childish. Like something that reads out of a YA book (yeah, yeah, I know I was a YA back then).
It also just seems like a manufactured fight created just for the sake of establishing some tensity between Kajin and Ryhon, because as you can probably already guess from the title of the story, Kajin makes a slight lifestyle change later on.
(11). Man, Kajin's thoughts of borderline treason are just so rushed. Someone whose been indoctrinated with such extreme views for their entire life doesn't just have one argument and a sit-down in their room before going, "Doh okay! I'll give the Covenant one more chance to woo me to her genocidal bosom before I call it quits and betray my entire race and family!" I mean, sure, if your eyes are opened and you break the programming of an extremist viewpoint, it's a good thing if you defect from ISIS or the alt-right/left, but it doesn't happen over night. Then again this was all lazily designed to get Kajin with the good guys as quickly as possible.
(12). The Shadow of the Collosi. Found the first reference!
(13). Another thing that pisses me off is how the Sangheili behave and speak. They act more like frat boys than seasoned veterans, even the older soldiers. Way too lenient and lighthearted.
(12). "'If father heard you talk like that he'd skin you alive.'
'No one listens to me.' retorted Kajin."
Well, at least I get teenage angst right, Sangheili Edition™. CRAWWWWWLING INNNNN MY CRAAAAWWWLL!
(13). "Kajin snatched his father's energy sword and activated it." Haha, yeah, like someone whose been a warrior for decades just lets someone else grab a weapon off of them like that. And don't give me that, "Oh, he was just so shocked he wasn't expecting it" schlock.
(14). Kajin just decides to join the humans... because that would work out so well.
*Al-Qaeda soldier surrenders to marines*
Allahu Snackbar: I want to join infidel- I mean American Devils in fight against Al-Qaeda, for I have seen the error of my ways. I thought about this real hard for five minutes and I think you'll find that I can offer you zany one-liners and hilarious banter!
Sergeant Mendez Ramirez Johnson Jenkins Pulaski Palinski Sheperd Freeman: lolnope
*Throws Allahu Snackbar in the brig*
(15). "'I'm going to dismantle the Covenant and make you see what this cannibal war machine really is. A cannibal war machine.'"
feelsdeepman
(16). Kajin slashes Hu'jiana with the energy sword... and he bleeds. *cough*Cauterization*cough*
(17). Holy shit, I know I said 'melodrama' earlier, but I really feel like I'm reading the script for a late-afternoon soap opera.
(18). "He could do anything he wanted, go wherever he wanted...as long as it was three days away."
...so... he can't.
(19). Oh boy, my favorite part is coming up. How Sergeant Johnson and a bunch of other marines are already on the dropship as prisoners. Oh boy, let's see how Teenage Me conveniently rationalizes this!
"Plasma cuffs." Jesus fuck, why does everything have to be plasma-based? Plasma skateboards, plasma mugs, plasma tampons. Because FUTURE!
I never specify that Kajin releases them from their bonds, but a moment later they're helping him out with the wound. Le sigh.
Predictably they all just accept him because character development is hard.
"'Johnson. Avery Johnson. But everyone just calls me Johnson because I have a big one. Oh and in Human slang johnson means penis." Youtube search: Filthy Frank Hilarious and Original
McGarver, Twilinger... what the fuck are these names lmao. Still better than generic military/cop names you see in every movie/game with military/cops ever.
Jesus, is explaining the mechanics of the translators really that important?
"...so, how come you were on this ship?' asked Kajin.
'We were captured.' explained Johnson. 'One squid-face left us here in shackles. Then after a moment you came in. Obviously he didn't know this ship was gonna be hijacked by a kid and an Unggoy.'"
About the kind of explanation I'd expect. Without thought and utterly outside the realms of reality. Johnson and these other fuckfaces should be on Reach right now, and then on the Pillar of Autumn after the planet gets hammered by the Covenant. But they're just magically captured and conveniently left on Kajin's getaway ride before any of that. Somewhere Spock is having an ulcer.
(20). "'You fool!' cried Johnson. 'You're probably being followed and we'd be shot out of the sky when we get to Reach.'"
First off, Johnson doesn't say, "You fool." He just doesn't. He might say, "Damn fool," or, "I pity the fool" (lelel gitit cuz he's black and Mr. T is black, too). Second, only a moment after Kajin's "grand escape" one lonesome seraph would pop out, blow up their ship, and then it'd just be business as usual.
(21). "It always seemed to her that women could see into others and men couldn't." Ahh, the classic "grills r sighkick and can soothe troubled souls becuz dey bootiful angels!" *gag*
(22). First off, Kaitlyn's back story is beyond cliched. Two, no one fucking estranges their child for joining the military to protect them. Or at least I hope not, what kind of cunt would you have to be to do that?
(23). "'Great Gedwags!'" lmfao. God, I've been cracking up over this for the past five minutes. I know I made it up, just for... whatever. Oh Jesus, I probably laughed when I first wrote it. I really haven't changed all that much.
(24). "Chicken lizards." I can't remember if that's an actual canon insult, or something I made up. If I did make it up, I'm very proud of myself.
(25). "'Very well...Cop-tin.' said Kajin using the unfamiliar word." How the shit would he know even those English words? He's been using a translator the whole time. And "Captain" isn't exactly a difficult word to pronounce. "A seemingly pleased silence on the other end..." I... I don't even...
(26). "Keyes looked hard at Kajin." His face scrunched into a grimace, and yet somehow his eyes managed to bulge cartoonishly, the veiny whites quivering as his sockets struggled to contain them. He leaned forward rigidly, his arms stretched back and trembling with clenched fists. Sweat began to break out around his face as veins popped out around his temples and neck, his normally pale face turning hot red.
I had so much fun writing that. Feels nice to write something good while reading this literary dumpster fire.
(27). After Kajin boards the ship then walks all the way towards the bridge, he then tells them the fleet is going to attack Reach... seems like something Johnson should've said the very second he got into contact with Keyes. But nah, it can wait after some generic 'soldier-dudes-do-soldier-dude-things-like-saluting-and-staring-hard-at-each-other.'
(28). Wow, this target practice is (yawn) riveting stuff. I'm gonna grab a snack, tell me when it's over- oh wait, I can just skip it.
Skip! Ding!
(29). So Ryhon has to face an ultimatum because of Kajin's actions. One is to still consider him family and be demoted (Really, just demoted? Usually in extremist religions you're either killed, mutilated, or both.) Or disown him and keep his rank. Now I can see the latter flying with Ryhon in particular. He's a celebrated Supreme Commander with a long and successful history of servitude to the Covenant. He's also too important and too close to a critical mission to just strip of rank on the spot.
Of course he accepts the disowning of his son... and then he rambles on about saving him and even will go so far as to disobey prime directives ("Kill all humans!" -Bender Bending Rodriguez) just to find him... and R'tas goes along with it. Fuck off.
/ / / /
Well... that was... something. I think I'll have fun with this, though, and I'll actually try to do footnotes for each chapter this go around. Having only to deal with 165 pages as opposed to almost 700 isn't nearly as intimidating.
Ya'll nibbas can head to my profile, there's a link to my Discord server there. I'm on most of the time, so swing by for a chat!