A Pathetic Excuse
Summary: AU. Michael Bluth has fallen in love... with a man named Gob. Then they find out that they're brothers. How will they deal with this, and will they stay together despite it?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything!
XxX
Chapter 1: Love at First... Wait, Love?
Michael wasn't interested in guys, or at least he never thought he'd be. His sister Lindsay had been in a bad mood and talked him into going to a bar for a drink. Lindsay was busy flirting with some guy that was sitting beside her (even though she was MARRIED) when Michael noticed that a guy sitting at the bar was eyeing him. Michael suddenly felt very uneasy. He wasn't used to being looked at that way and even if he was, he wasn't gay and he wasn't ready to date again. His wife, Tracy, had died some years ago and he still wasn't over it. For the most part he was busy as the president of the Bluth Company, which he was burdened with after his father went to jail, and with raising his teenage son George Michael.
His son had recently started dating his cousin, Maebey, and Michael was a bit worried about him. He allowed the realtionship despite how uncomfortable he was with it, but he had a bad feeling about where it would go. What if they had a child? Oh well, it was better than when George Michael was dating that Anne girl. Michael had actually been relieved when his son came home upset saying that Anne had broken up with him.
After a while the man came over and sat down beside Michael and said, "I don't know if you've noticed, but your girlfriend's been chatting with that guy for an awfully long time" and he motioned to Lindsay, who was coming off a bit strong on her prey.
"First of all, she's not my girlfriend, and second of all, you mean like as long as you've been staring at me?" Michael asked.
"Yeah... sorry about that," the man said as he shook his head, "It's just that when I first saw you I knew that I wanted to get to know you better"
"Wow... does that line ever work?" "You tell me" Michael would be lying if he said that the way this man smiled at him didn't make him blush.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm not gay" Michael said.
"Neither am I," the other male said, allowing himself a small chuckle. Michael was wondering what was so amusing about what he said, "But does that mean that some harmless experimentation is out of the question?"
"Just do it, Michael," Lindsay said from behind them, "You really need to get laid, even if it is by some random guy who's dressed like a gay magician"
"Lindsay, it's been ten years since Tracy died," Michael said, looking back at his sister, "I'm not ready yet" he could tell that the anonimous man was trying not to laugh. At least when Michael turned back to him he was calm.
"So... no?"
"No"
"Well, I tried"
Michael wasn't sure why, but he felt like he really did want to get to know this man better, "I'm Michael Bluth" he said, extending his hand.
"Gob Adams," the other male said, shaking Michael's hand, "I know what you're thinking, what kind of name is Gob?"
"Not really, but now that you mention it, what kind of name is Gob?" Michael replied, half joking and half curious.
"Well my name is actually George and my middle name is Oscar, which is the only tie I have to my real family," Gob answered, sounding a bit depressed saying that last bit, "I'm adopted and I never knew who my real parents were, only my first and middle name. Nobody ever told me my real last name. And your friend was actually right, I am a magician. I decided to go by the name of Gob, cause it sounds cool" Michael was incredibly oblivious to a very important fact. George was his father's name, and Oscar was his uncle's name. Right now he couldn't even register that maybe this man had some sort of connection to photos he found in the secret room of the model home he and his family lived in.
"If it's any consolation, I wish I was adopted," Michael said, "My parents screwed me and my siblings up. My sister here, Lindsay, is married and she's flirting with another man"
"Aw shut up" was all Lindsay said.
"And she eavesdrops" Michael added.
"At least I've gotten some action in the past ten years" she retaliated.
"Ten years without sex? I admire your self-control," Gob commented, "I bet you spend a lot of time with your hand down your pants" he either didn't realize how vulgar what he said was, or he didn't care. Michael actually found this... amusing. He didn't understand why, but Gob really intruiged him, and he found something very irresistable about him. Maybe he would be willing to change his mind about Gob's proposition.
XxX
Michael woke up the next morning and immediately felt a sharp pain in his ass. That was when he remembered what he did last night. After a couple of hours of conversation they went back to Gob's place and had sex. He had sex with another man, "What have I done?" he muttered under his breath. The worst part about this was that Michael didn't know what would happen from here. Was this just a good fuck? He wasn't a one night stand kind of guy, but Gob... how much did he know about this guy?" He was a magician, adopted, single and straight but didn't mind sleeping with other guys, but he didn't really know what kind of person he was. The fact that they met at a bar wasn't a good sign either.
Michael noticed where he was. He was in a... den? He was in a den, laying on a futon. Gob was laying beside him, still asleep. Michael wondered how often this happened. Did he 'play the field' often? He didn't even ask Gob if he had an STD! What if he ended up getting AIDS? Then what? He'd die and George Michael would be an orphan! "Calm down" he told himself. There was no reason for him to freak out like this just because he slept with a guy he barely even knew. People did that all the time. Hell, Lindsay probably unofficially held the world record for whoring around. Now Michael had done the same thing, except for him there was no risk of getting pregnant.
Once Gob woke up Michael wasn't sure what to say. What was last night anyway? Did he feel something for Gob? He... he did. He had feelings for Gob. This just made things even harder. He was caught off guard by the first thing Gob said to him, "Morning, honey"
"What?"
"I said good morning"
"No, not that... you called me honey" Michael said.
"Well, yeah. It's not like this was just one night of pointless sex," Gob said, putting an arm around Michael, "I knew you weren't a one night stand kind of guy, and neither am I... despite what I tell people" Michael felt a bit better about the situation now, but he still was a bit uneasy. He wasn't gay, but he really felt something for Gob.
XxX
"George, who's your friend?" Diana Adams asked when Michael and Gob walked into the kitchen. Gob immediately cringed at his first name. For some reason he didn't like being called by it.
"This is Michael," Gob answered, "Michael, this is my mom"
"He still lives with his parents?" Michael thought, but none the less shook Diana's hand, "I'm Michael Bluth" he couldn't help but notice the look of discomfort on her face when he introduced himself.
"Excuse me, but did you just say that your last name is Bluth?" she asked, "As in you're related to George and Lucille Bluth?"
"Yes, those are my parents" Michael answered.
"I see... George, honey, could I talk to you in private?" as Gob and his mother left the room Michael wondered why she was so disturbed by what he said.
"George, how exactly do you know this man?" Diana asked.
"Why?"
"Because it's important"
"Fine. I met him at the bar last night and... we came back here and had sex. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't just a one night stand. I know this sounds crazy since I barely even know him, but I think that I'm-"
"George, you did what!?" Diana snapped. Gob didn't see why his mother was so upset about this. She never got this way about anyone else that he brought home, even if they were men.
"Why's this such a big deal?" Gob asked.
"Have you ever wondered why you chose Gob as your magician name?" Diana asked, "That maybe it had some sort of meaning that even you weren't aware of?"
"Where are you going with this, Mom?"
"Your name is George Oscar Bluth," Diana said, tears coming to her eyes, "That man in there is your brother. I'm sorry... I never wanted you to find out this way"
"You knew this whole time?" Gob asked, "You knew my last name and never told me?"
"Don't you think it would be better that way? Haven't you seen the stories they show on the news about that family? Do you really want to get involved in that?"
"They're my family," Gob said, "All this time I thought that my real parents were dead or something, and now I find out that not only are my parents alive, but I have siblings, and that I slept with my brother. Yeah, thanks a lot, Diana. Thanks for screwing everything up" he walked back into the kitchen and said to Michael, "We should go" Michael had no arguments. He felt uncomfortable being here now.
XxX
After leaving the house they decided to get breakfast at a diner. While they were waiting for their food, Gob couldn't stop thinking about how Michael would react if Gob told him they were related. Would he be disgusted? Would he be okay with it? They didn't even know. They were perfect strangers, and if his mother hadn't told him Gob might have gone the rest of his life not knowing that the man he was in love with was his brother. In only a very short time Gob fell in love with Michael. Now... how could he live with himself? "We didn't know" seemed like a pathetic excuse, but so did, "It's over because I found out we're related" it was a double edged sword that either way it was pointed would stab them both. "So... would you mind telling me about yourself?" Gob asked, "I mean, I don't know much about you except that you were married but then your wife died, and that you're sister's a slut"
"Sure," Michael answered, smiling at him, "I'm the president of the Bluth Company, a position I obtained when my father went to jail. I have a sixteen year-old son, named George Michael... who's dating his cousin. I'm not against it, but I just can't help but be worried about where it will go"
"Hm... he allowed his kid to date his cousin. That might be a good sign" Gob thought. Then again, maybe it wasn't anything. Cousins were a lot less serious than brothers.
"I have a younger brother, Buster. He's kind of a twitchy guy. And of course you met my twin sister Lindsay. She's married to a guy who's... well probably a closet gay. Between the two of them I felt kind of alone while growing up, and I always wished I had, I don't know, a big brother to look up to. My mom always told me that I didn't need a big brother and that it would make things worse, and that if I wanted someone to look up to I could look up to my dad. He wasn't the kind of person that it was good to look up to, and even when I was a kid I knew that" so their mother said that he would've made things worse.
"I know what that's like," Gob said, "I was an only child and I always wanted a little brother," they both had what they wanted now, but not in the way they expected, "My life hasn't really been anything special. I was really popular in high school, but despite that I didn't really have friends. Three months into college I dropped out. I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, then one day I decided, 'Hey, I wanna be a magician'. Unfortunately I'm not too good at that either"
"Come on, it can't be that bad" Michael said. "Every assistant I've ever had gets injured, usually because I end up setting their hair on fire," Gob said, "So... um... have you ever felt like there was a part of you missing?"
"Yeah, sometimes," Michael answered, not sure why Gob was asking him this, "Why?"
"Because I think I've found the missing piece" Gob answered, looking into Michael's eyes. He meant that in more ways than one. He finally felt whole knowing he had a real family somewhere out there, and because he finally found the one. The only problem was that it was his brother. Michael could take it any way he wanted. Something told Gob that he wouldn't be using a pathetic excuse any time soon.