-1It's funny how you can be so in love with someone and have them be so important in your life that your pretty sure you can't live without them and yet, when something goes wrong and you're no longer together they seem to face away. It takes time, years in fact, but still they just seem to fade right out of your life.
It's been years since he last saw her, when he left her in the church on their wedding day. He thought, because he was young and naïve, that the image of her would be burned into his head forever, that he would never forget her. Which is somewhat true, he still thinks of her at times, but she seems to be fading away.
Over time he's forgotten her laugh; her giggles seem so far and distant in his mind. He can no longer remember her smell or even the feel of her hair in his mind. Try as he might, he can no longer grasp these aspects of her in his mind.
The way she fit in his arms when they slept, the way she drank her coffee with him in the morning. He can't even remember the touch of her skin or the feel of her lips. Their intimate moments together have flown right out of his mind.
He's been alone for years, so living with some one seems foreign to him; he can't imagine doing another person's laundry or cooking for them, like he use to do for her.
His thoughts use to fixate on her in the first few years after he left, he couldn't help but wonder about her. Her picture in his head was clear, and he though almost non-stop about what she was doing, if she was thinking of him or even if she had moved on and was with someone new. The one thing that took up most of his thoughts though was an image of her that haunted him over and over again, and it was asking why did he leave. Which even to this day he's not sure he can give her a full, complete and satisfying answer.
He will always love Cristina, he's sure of it, no matter what she will always be the love of his life. Yet she fades away from him and he has nothing to grasp on to, nothing to remember her by. The years have taken their toll on the picture of her in his head; it's faded, curled at the edges, yellowed, and even a little bit blurry. This picture will fade away eventually, he knows that, they've both moved on; the waves of the ocean have rolled them away from each other.
There's no going back now, it's been too many years. Cristina will continue to fade out of his life, just like he's probably faded out of hers. He made a mistake, he knows that now. He should have talked to her more, he should have listened when she did open up her mouth, but he didn't and the time to fix this mess was a long time ago. He will continue to stay in his state of limbo till the day he dies, trying not to forget about the love of his life when in reality he already has.
A/N: This was sort of inspired by the song The Ocean by The Bravery.