So it's short. It feels a bit drabble-ish to me. I don't know. It's not exactly too satisfying for me, but I wanted to put it up anyways. Yes, I will update my other stories soon. This is a reminder to everyone I'm still here.
Watch
I watch him as he watches her.
He watches her, as her eyes glance over to me.
They look frightened for a moment.
But her gaze switches back to him.
And my eyes… They look at both of them.
I can't see the way he's watching her, because his head is turned around, but I can see the way she's looking at him.
"Hello?" I ask, and his trance is broken as he turns around to glance at me.
"What?" He asks, seeming grumpy all of a sudden.
"Were you listening to me?"
"Yeah." I can tell he lied. He wasn't listening to what I had to say. He was just watching her.
"Then what was I saying?" I quiz him. He doesn't like this, and I can tell.
"Why do you have to quiz me?" He gets angry now, as red now invades his face.
"Because you weren't listening," I tell him.
"Stop it!" He says louder now. And he walks away. While he walks away though to a place that I don't know of, I see he takes the extra few meters distance to get closer to her. As he passes near her, I see that his eyes roam a second longer more on her then they ever have on me.
XXX
"You're not listening again," I say to him days later.
"I heard you," he claims. I know he didn't. I decide not to pursue the subject though. It will only end in him leaving angrily. He turns back to face me, and changes the subject completely. We're outside eating again at this horrid school. It's so close to graduation.
We end up eating our meal in silence, but I see that he has a pattern. Every time he lowers his head to eat, his eyes move to the left.
He must think I'm stupid or blind.
Whenever he brings his head back up, he glances back to me, but doesn't really look at me. He tends to turn his eyes over my food, or his own. Or looks out at the ocean behind me and talks about something completely different then he was a second ago.
He can't keep his damn focus whenever she's near us.
She could have been surfing, far away in the water- and he'd come up with some excuse to go to the beach. She could be in the bathroom, and all of a sudden he's got to pee.
His excuses to be near wherever she is- are lame, and they're getting really old. I guess he does think I'm both stupid and blind.
He runs his hands through his hair and says to me, "let's go back to your dorm." I nod, knowing what he wants. It's only a distraction to him though. We throw away our food and walk back to my dorm. He makes small talk, but doesn't look at me the whole way.
We're in my room, and his lips are attacking mine.
It's not passionate, it's only hunger.
It's been that was every single damn time. He's lifting my shirt up, and moving his mouth all over me. I undo his pants buckle, and notice how he still wont fucking look at me.
His eyes are closed, and as he moves- I know he's trying to imagine her below him. Not me, but her.
I know he's pretending in his mind that I'm her right now as he looks at the sheets under me. The lights are off, and he closed the shades. I guess he can pretend better when the lights are off.
XXX
"You're still not listening to me," I say. He lazily turns his head to look at me better.
"I'm trying to watch this."
They begin to announce the students, and everyone is making this such a big deal. I guess it is, I mean we're graduating from high school.
They call my name, and I walk up to receive my diploma. I shake hands, and everyone claps. I look at him from the stage, and he's not watching. I just fucking graduated, and he doesn't watch this moment in my life.
I sit back down, and her name gets called.
"Dana Cruz."
She walks up there to retrieve her diploma, and he can't take his eyes off her. I think a bomb could explode, and his eyes would be permanently glued to her.
His name is called.
"Logan Reese."
And I watch him graduate. At least I can pay him the courtesy of watching that he didn't for me.
She also pays close attention to him. Closer interest then anyone else in this auditorium. She probably has more awareness of him then me, because I'm busy watching them both look at each other rather than just watching him.
It's just a big long fucking looking and watching fest this is, isn't it?
My conscious tells me to end things with him, and tell him to go after the girl he always watches but I'm just too damn selfish I guess.
XXX