A mistake. One big, huge, giant mistake. That's all I was to my parents. They didn't even try to hide the fact from me. I wasn't exactly a planned child. My mom and dad were fine with just my brother. One child was enough for them. But then all of a sudden I showed up. They never hurt me or anything, but they definitely made it clear that they weren't too fond of me. They barely acknowledged my existence, they obviously thought I was some sort of idiot, and they barely ever smile at me.
So one day, I did something that definitely get me noticed. I got one of my friends, Jade, to come with me to get the dye. I was only 13 the day we walked to the convenience store that was down the street from my house. Jade wasn't (still isn't) exactly the type of person with a high tolerance level. Oh no, not one bit. But yet she put up with me. I spent hours searching for just the right color. One that definitely would get me noticed by my parents.
I looked and looked, imagining each color in my hair. Purple? Mmm... No. Green? Eww, I'd look like a booger. Blue? No, I bate that color. I saw it. Right out of the corner of my eye. It was the perfect color. Just the right one. Red. Like red velvet cupcakes. My favorite thing on the whole wide world. And that's when I knew that that was the color for me. It was just absolutely perfect. If that didn't catch my parent eye, I don't know what would. Well, maybe a Godzilla would, but I doubt one of those would be coming through here anytime soon.
"This one!" I squealed to Jade.
We had been standing in the hair isle for at least an hour.
"Finally!" she grunted and grabbed the can off the shelve.
I took it to the front and paid for it. The cashier gave me a funny look as she scanned my hair dye. I just smiled back at her. Over the years, I've gotten used to those glares that random strangers would give me. Even before I dyed my hair, everyone thought I was somewhat strange. Like I belonged in a nut house or something.
Jade walked with me back to my house. My parents weren't home and my older brother, Bill, was probably out somewhere, getting drunk with his buddies.
We went up to my bathroom and got started with my hair. I'll admit, I was super duper excited. Finally something that would put me on my parents mind for a couple of minutes. Give them something to wonder about. As far as I knew, they had no idea who I really was on the inside.
It took an hour for me and Jade to finally get it done. As soon as it was over with, Jade had to rush home. One thing me and Jade had in common was that neither of our parent really approved of us. Jade's parents thought acting was a waste of time and mine thought I was a waste of time.
I was so excited to see the outcome of my hair. It was all nice and red. I absolutely loved it. But when my parents came home, they didn't even notice. They looked at me for one second and then just looked away. I ran up to my room and just cried myself to sleep. I guess I spend most nights like this. No matter how happy I look on the outside, I will always be the sad little girl that just wants parents that noticed her. But no matter how hard I wished, on every star, on every dandelion, on every eye lash, on every candle that was half-heatedly lit, it never happened.
So here I am, 3 years later, still thinking that I'm a huge mistake. But I put on a cheery smile for my friends. We're sitting in the mall, all 7 of us. 8 if you include Rex. I see a little girl, on her left was her mom, on her right was her dad. They were holding her hands as they smiled down at her. How I longed for that when I was around her age. Buy did I ever get it? Nope. I still try to look happy, but it was really hard. And I always try to look on the bright side.