Pure, Fair, Beautiful
I could never quite understand him. He was the oddest person I had ever met, but at the same time, that's what attracted me to him. It was the mystery. The mist that shrouded him from me - his thoughts, his feelings, his desires. All of it. How I craved to know his innermost thoughts…how I wished to understand his feelings, his drive. I wanted to know what made him happy, sad, what made him tick. How I wanted to be more than just what we were now - comrades. Was that even possible? I struggled within myself to find an answer, but I couldn't. He was odd, yes. But that was why I loved him so dearly.
I usually spent my days sitting in my favorite chair in the corner of my room making origami. The sound of the crisp paper crinkling beneath my touch soothed me. And as I was folding, it was like all my troubles were wiped away - just like that. Deep down however, I knew they would never truly disappear. They would only be temporarily removed. But, even so, these small moments were what made my life worth living. What helped me to continue on in this cruel life. The cruel life of a ninja.
Currently, I was folding a small paper crane, using pure white paper. White was my favorite color. People often assumed it was blue, due to my hair, but white had always done so much more for me. It's fresh. It's clean. It's soothing. Oh, how I needed to be soothed.
As I was folding away, I was surprised to hear a faint knock at my door. Odd. Everyone usually just left me alone. Nobody had ever visited me before, though I had no idea as to why. Maybe it was my personality - I seemed to intimidate people unintentionally. Some people have a personality that makes others gravitate towards them, but I don't. With my unusual appearance, (blue hair, piercings…etc.) that only makes my problem worse. Who would possibly want to talk to me?
Slowly, I got up from my chair, laying the half completed crane on a table beside me. I felt my heart beating rapidly in my chest - why that was, I had no idea. Maybe it was because this was so unfamiliar to me. Walking to the door, I twisted the doorknob and opened it slightly.
"Konan." My eyes opened wide as I took in the sight before me. It was Pein. He seemed oblivious to my surprise as he just continued to stare, his gaze piercing right through me. I shook my feelings off and put on my usual expression - indifferent.
"Pein?" I asked, my voice in it's usual monotone. How I hated my voice - it lacked any expression. Emotion. But in this business, how could one possibly risk that? In a way, emotion was a weakness. So I did my best to conceal mine. But when I was around Pein, it seemed like my wall just melted away. All my emotions where all laid out there for him to see - and I was embarrassed by that.
"May I…come in?" He asked this a bit cautiously, but still firm.
I nodded. "Of course."
I stepped aside a few feet so that he could make it through the doorway. He walked passed me with such grace and elegance, I was a bit blown away. I reminded myself that all ninja pretty much walked in this fashion, including him. But I knew that's not what I really thought. He walked with a different sort of radiance, not like I'd seen on anyone ever before. Maybe that thought was stupid, but I didn't care.
I directed his attention to the two chairs in the back of the room as I closed the door.
"Please, have a seat." I said calmly.
He nodded and strode to my favorite chair, sitting down comfortably. I took the chair next to him. For the next few minutes, it seemed like forever, he didn't say a word to me. His eyes were pasted on me, which made me feel uneasy. Of course, I didn't let this show. I controlled my breathing, and forced myself to relax.
"So," I mumbled casually, playing with the hem of my shirt. "what brings you here?"
Pein looked at me for a few moments, eyes ever penetrating. Then he smirked. I thought my heart would stop. "What, I can't visit a comrade every now and again?" He chuckled softly. "Actually, I just wanted to see how you were doing. You stay in here nearly all the time - it makes me wonder what you do in here."
I smiled slightly, my eyes shifting to the unfinished paper crane on the table next to us. Pein followed my gaze, looking at the crane. His long, pale fingers carefully caressed the crane, then he picked it up, examining it. "So this is what you do…?"
I nodded, somewhat embarrassed. No one knew about my obsession - at least until now.
His lips were parted slightly, his golden eyes scanning my creation leisurely. "This paper folding…does it bring you happiness?" His gaze was again fixated on me.
I looked down at my lap and nodded. "Yes."
Pein considered that for a moment, but then he did the unthinkable. He put the small crane in his fist, and crumbled it. I stared at him, my mouth opened slightly, looking at his fist that had destroyed my creation.
"Pein…?" I asked. My voice was soft, yet it sounded so pained.
He opened his hand back up, revealing a small paper wad that was once my crane. His golden eyes speculated me, took me all in. Then he smiled at me. "Why a crane?"
I bit my lip as I considered his question. "Because," I started slowly, "I admire the crane."
"Hmm…why is that?" Pein asked.
I shrugged. "It's so graceful. It's movement resembles dancing."
Pein looked at the wad of paper in his hand, then back at me. "Is that all?"
Nothing was going to get passed him. I sighed softly. "It's because it can fly. Because it has wings. How lucky the crane is…to go wherever and whenever it pleases. I wish I could be like that."
Pein's mouth turned into a thin line as he sat there, looking between me and the paper ball.
He then motioned for my hand, in which I gave to him. He placed the wad in my hand, but held on to it as he looked into my eyes.
"A flower would suit you better." These words rolled off his tongue like honey. "The flower is fragile - but it is also very beautiful. It is often respected and loved by everyone that beholds it, but most are too intimidated to say so. Too intimidated by the flower - by all that it is."
His icy eyes melted for a moment, and I saw him for what he truly was. I understood what he was trying to say.
"You should make a flower, Konan. Because that is what you are. A flower." He reached out and stroked the side of my face, as he smiled serenely. "A pure, fair, beautiful, flower."
Then, all in one movement, he lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed it. His lips were warm and soft against my skin. I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed when he pulled away.
This once soft eyes turned hard again, as he spoke firmly. "I must go. I trust that I will see you later?" He stood up, amber eyes still on me.
I nodded and smiled at him kindly. He returned the smile, then he walked over to the door and closed it.
Ever since that moment, my favorite thing to fold were flowers. After I was done, I would place them in my hair as a symbol that only Pein and I would understand.
In this dark, nasty world, origami would always be some sort of outlet of peace for me. I loved it so much, almost as much as I loved a certain someone. I wasn't quite convinced by what Pein had said, about me being a flower. But I was sure of one thing: Flowers were wonderful. And I now cherished them more than ever. Pure, fair, beautiful, flowers.
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Wow...my first story! ^_^ i'm very, very pleased with how this turned out. And of course, please review! I'm looking forward to ALL of your comments, and i'll do my best to answer them (even if i am a bit new... but that doesn't matter! The stories are what matters most. So please keep that in mind XD). Thank you very much!
-- Getsuei-Hime