Please Kill Me.

Kairi and Riku had been best friends since they were in diapers. They grew up together. They had been friends forever. And nothing could tear that apart. In fact, they were so close that when they turned twenty they both decided that—since girls only wanted to giggity Riku's gafloibity instead of have a relationship and since Kairi was such an annoying snitch that no guy would date her—they would get married to each other so that they wouldn't end up alone in life.

On their first anniversary, it was official—Kairi and Riku had suffered through their beautiful, well-attended white wedding a year ago. It felt like the longest year of Kairi's life because Riku had always been a cocky sonofabitch. He would stay out late and come home wasted, sleep on the couch, leave his dirty clothes all over the house; and all because they didn't want to be alone. Sure he, Riku was one of the best looking guys that any girl would ever meet, but he was a douche and he had no feelings.

It was the longest year of Riku's life because Kairi was annoying and needy and always asked him to do things he'd rather not. He purposely made her life miserable because even though they were best friends, she secretly really pissed him off. Yeah sure, she's pretty and yeah, sure, she cleans up his messes. But seriously. She made him want to kick a duck in the balls.

But this isn't a story about how much they each made the other want to commit suicide. This is about the one incident that broke them up. For good. So it's basically about the one chance meeting that saved them both from an eternity of the fiery flames of hell constantly burning and lighting their asses on fire with the lighters they each held under the other's already-flaming ass.

Riku would complain, "Why did I even agree to this? You don't even like guys."

And Kairi would argue, "Because you love me. And I do so like guys. There just aren't any worth my time."

Eventually they did get a divorce and they did give up on this false, shitty relationship that consisted of aggravating, fights (occasionally fist), and really heartless sex (Kairi: IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE GOD DAMN IT!).

It happened on a Friday-Friday the 13th to be exact. It just so happened to be the day that Kairi met a boy named Sora... It went a little like this.

I wrote it as a drabble because I liked the idea and didn't want to write a whole story to go with it. So no, you're not going to get an explanation as to what happened that made Kairi and Riku get a divorce but if enough people review and tell me that you want an explanation, I'll give a couple more drabbles explaining it maybe. :)

R&R

Hope you likeeed!