Title: As All-Ameican As Apple Pie
Rating: T
Characters: Finn, Rachel, Brittany, Kurt, Rachel's dads, Brittany's dad, mentions of Santana, Quinn, and Puck.
Summary: 5 questions answered about Finn Hudson and 1 that isn't.
1. Would Finn ever have substance abuse problems?
Finn doesn't drink.
He's seventeen, at his first real party, and he turns down a beer. And another. And another. Matt gets red in the face and asks him if he's gay or just stupid, turning down an all-American Bud Light like that. Mike, who is sitting in the corner and cooing in Brittany's ear, turns his head up for a minute to remind Matt that Budweiser is a German name. Matt looks flustered, and shoves the beer at Rachel. Rachel, who mistakes this as an act of friendship and acceptance, gladly takes the drink and downs it in one gulp. And another. And another. And another. And she's had five too many for her tiny frame when Finn finally wrestles her away from a table of college guys playing kings two hours later.
He walks her down her driveway, pausing every few steps to keep her from plummeting to the ground. Eventually he sighs and loops a hand beneath her knees and another one under her arms, hoisting her into the air. She squeals, as if he's a carnival ride and giggles all the way to the front door where she's met with her dads' frowning faces. She laughs in Finn's ear, "I think Daddies are mad at me, Finny Winnie Woo." He cringes at the name and walks past them, placing her with care on the couch.
She looks up at him from over her shoulder, as if trying to figure out why she is no longer in his arms, and then looses her balance and finds her head smack dab against the floor. She makes a few whimpering noises and then breaks out in violent laughter, "I'm on the floor!" She whispers to no-one in particular and then laughs even harder.
He shakes his head and makes a beeline for the door, only to have Darren block him. "Hello Mr. Berry," He mutters under his breath as he fingers his keys in his pocket. "Rachel had too much to drink."
Darren's disapproving frown becomes a full-out glare. "I noticed," He states sourly, crossing his arms across his chest. "I don't appreciate you bringing my daughter home in this condition."
"I didn't ask her to get drunk," He grumbles, looking anywhere but her father's face. It's not his fault his girlfriend is insecure, or that alcohol makes her feel more at ease socially.
"No, he didn't, Daddy," She giggles from the floor, pulling her fingers back and forth on the carpet as if it's the most amusing thing in the world. "He blames wine coolers for getting Quinn pregnant." She looks up from the carpet, still feeling the texture under her skin, "Even though he should blame Puck."
Finn bites his lip, turning away from all of them. He can feel his face turning red, and his heart beating beneath his letterman jacket. "Goodnight Mr. Berry, Mr. Berry. I'll call in the morning to make sure Rachel is feeling better." He makes his way back to his ragged old Station Wagon and drives off into the night.
2. Was Quinn Fabray really Finn's first love?
Finn can remember a lot of things about Quinn Fabray. He remembers the fruity taste of her lips that he couldn't distinguish between watermelon and strawberry. He remembers the way she used to throw her head back to laugh at his jokes, even the ones he knew weren't funny. He remembers the way her hair felt in his hands, so soft and sleek as it ran through his fingers. For a long time, all he could remember were those good things: her beauty, her sweet words, her needing him.
One day after Regionals, he kisses Rachel Berry in a haze of victory and excitement and utter Glee though. When his lips touch hers, he remembers the other things. He remembers the way she used to look when she lied, that sad watery smile he saw so many times during his Sophomore year but never understood until later on. The way she and Puck used to share these grins without him, and how lucky he thought he was that his girlfriend and his best friend got along so well. He can hear the way she used to yell at him and degrade him for not being good enough for her. He can feel her hand pulling him away from the soft curve of her bottom, when she had already given it up to his best friend.
As he kisses Rachel, he thinks that she has flaws too. She's needy for acceptance and she's too loud and she can't find the word no in her dictionary, but she really loves him. She loves the way his voice collides with hers in song. She loves the way she has to stand on her tip toes to kiss him. She loves the way his eyebrows rise slightly when he doesn't quite get what she's saying to him. She loves him for everything, good and bad.
And he loves her too.
3. What happened the first time it drizzled after Finn found out you can't impregnate a girl in a hot tub?
It's a Sunday. Finn is late for his job at the Tea Shoppe. He's pulling his dress shirt on while getting in the car, only to realize not only did he forget to brush his teeth but also his wheelchair. He kicks the steering wheel while getting out of the car and starts heading toward his garage when he feels something wet on the back of his neck.
He looks up only to see that it's drizzling outside but it's not really raining so it smells like rain but he doesn't really need an umbrella to go outside. And his immediate mental backlash is 'Are you an moron?' He sinks down to the ground. 'We're not naming our baby Drizzle. We're not naming our baby anything.'
It's a Sunday. He assumes Quinn is too ashamed to be at church right now, and Puck is Jewish and he knows Synagogue is on Saturday mornings. He remembers because sometimes Mrs. Puckerman used to invite him over for Shabbat dinner sometimes. Something wet stings his cheeks and he pretends it's just the damn drizzle and not his world falling apart beneath his feet.
There is no Drizzle. It's not his daughter, she won't have Quinn's hair and his eyes because she's not his. Instead, Puck gets to have this amazing little girl that he doesn't even deserve because he'll never be able to teach her right from wrong. She'll just have issues with men because Daddy never loved Mommy, not the way he would have. Puck can lie and say he'll be with her and help her raise the kid, but Puck doesn't understand commitment. He understands sleeping around and feeling rejected by everyone he cares about and lying.
In that instant, Finn knows he has forgiven Quinn. He knows why she so desperately needed him and why she'd rather give that precious baby away than raise her with Puck. Quinn loves the baby, so she lied to him. Quinn loves the baby, so she's willing to put aside her own happiness and let someone who can love it take care of her. Quinn might be scared and confused but deep down she is good, and Finn can't hate her for that.
It stops drizzling outside and a rainbow appears.
4. If Finn broke his arm at the age of six, how would it have happened?
Brittany's dad has been attempting to teach her how to ride a bike all week, but she has an irrational fear of falling. Finn thinks this might be because her dad keeps yelling that 'If you don't pedal faster you're going to fall and crack your head against the pavement, Brit! Quitters never win!' She is near tears when Finn rides over on the bike his mom got from the dump and offers to try to teach her.
Brittany's dad smiles a big toothy grin at him. He and Finn's dad went to high school together, he dated his mom for a week in seventh grade. Their kid might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but neither is his little princess. "Mom will have dinner ready by five, be home by then sweet pea," He kisses her on the forehead.
She nods her head feebly, tears still in her eyes, and then wobbles down the street with Finn. Once they're a safe distance away from her house, Brit bursts out in tears. "Daddy keeps yelling at me!" She wails, followed by several things Finn doesn't understand. He scratches his head idly, waiting for her to stop. She keeps sobbing into her hands though, her pink-tasseled bike discarded in the grass.
He sits down next to her, patting her shoulder awkwardly. "You want to play dinosaurs?" He asks hopefully.
"NOOOOO!" She screams, inching away from him. "I want t-to learn t-to ride a bike so Daddy won't…HATE ME!" A fresh round of wails escape her throat and Finn covers his ears.
"Okay, okay, I'll try and teach you but you have to promise to stop crying," He says quickly, anything to make her stop.
She shoots her head up, smile stretching from blond pigtail to blond pigtail. "Okay, Fred."
"Finn," He sighs. It isn't the first time Brittany's forgotten his name. She never forgets Mike's name, he notes sourly. He gets on his bike, and starts pedaling. "Just don't think about it, it's kinda like playing video games. If you aren't sure what to do, just push a whole bunch of buttons really fast until you find the one that works."
Unfortunately for Finn, Brittany takes his advice literally and pulls her handbrake. Also unfortunately for Finn, Brittany is in front of him at the time so he crashes into her and his bike falls on a heaping mess on top of him. Suddenly, she is very clear on how to not only pedal the bike but turn it around. "Fred? Fred? Are you okay?" Brittany has already forgotten how to stop though, and Brittany runs over Finn's arm.
Her father finds them a half-hour later, Finn is screaming and Brittany is wailing on the sidewalk again. Brit's bike is taken away until she's old enough to ride responsibly, Finn thinks it is probably for the good of mankind that he forgets to give it back.
5. What happens on Finn's wedding day?
Cummerbunds are ridiculous. That is the conclusion Finn comes to as he attempts to put his on. The only serve to match the flowers or the linens or something else stupid he doesn't even care about. He feels the same way about pocket squares. They are pointless, impossible to fold right, and only exist to match the idiotic cummerbunds. He throws the cummerbund to a heap on the floor of his dressing room, and glares at the pocket square on the dressing table.
Finn wanted to elope, and when she vetoed that, he'd wanted a small ceremony in the park. She'd vetoed that too. And here he was with the god damn cummerbund. Red, just like her cheerleading uniform. He looks at it, shuddering a little bit at the thought of Quinn Fabray, who'd almost got away with labeling him as the father of her child. He thinks of Rachel, who's 100-watt smile lit up his heart on even the worst days imaginable.
There's a knock on the door, and his heart stops beating. What if it's her? What if she knows he's going through all the girls he's ever loved in his head? Does she knows she doesn't measure up to either of them?
Kurt's head peeks in, he lets out a sigh of relief. "We're waiting on you, you know," His best man whispers with a sad smile. "You okay?"
No, I'm not. "I'm fine, just the typical cold feet. He's not cold at all though, he's hot and bothered and wondering why nothing he ever wants turns out quite the way he plans. "It's just…" He looks down and shakes his head. "Never mind, let's go."
"Finn, I know this probably isn't the best advice to be giving you, because Santana will castrate me if she finds out, but if you aren't happy it isn't too late to back out," He puts a hand on Finn's shoulder, reaching his hardest to do so. "I think there's something in your heart you've been running from. You can say your heart's fine but until you tell this girl how you feel, you heart's gonna be flawed. You need to talk to her, Finn."
He looks over at the overly coiffed boy in the bowtie next to him, his face brimming with honesty and wisdom, "You're right, Kurt, there is a girl out there I've been running from. My heart is flawed. How'd you know?"
Kurt grins, shrugging, "I borrowed a little from One Tree Hill, I've found it to be a source of great romance."
Finn laughs, shaking his head, "You'll take care of hurricane Santana?"
His friend nods, heading for the door. He turns back, his hand on the knob, "Just one thing before you escape off into the sunset, which girl is she?"
Finn meets his eyes, "I'll let you know."