The Long Road Home

Chapter 1

Major Case Squad

Megan Wheeler looked across at her partner's empty desk, wondering if and when he was going to call in. It wasn't like Mike Logan to miss a day of work, but considering the stress he'd been under lately, she knew that he needed time to regroup. However, she wished he'd call before Ross realized her partner was late.

"You – do you have a minute?" Bobby Goren approached her a bit hesitantly. Their relationship had been tenuous at best since she had arrested his wife for the murder of her father.

"Sure, what's up?" she tried to sound casual.

"Logan asked me to talk to you – to let you know that he won't be coming back…" Bobby began, but stopped as if searching for the right words.

"I know he's got a lot on his mind with the separation, but he hasn't even called in. Ross is going to be livid," Megan said, having misunderstood.

"No, Wheeler. He's – he said that he'll call you once he's sorted everything out, but he's turning in his badge."

"What? No, not Logan, he'd never give up the job. The man worked Staten Island for ten years rather than turn in his badge," Wheeler reminded him.

"The man worked Staten Island because he wasn't going to let anyone force him to give up his badge, but he said this was – this is his choice and that it feels right," Bobby ran a hand over the back of his neck.

Megan fell silent, too stunned by Goren's words to continue. Bobby took a step backwards and turned away from her. He hadn't wanted to be the one to tell her, but Mike had asked him and Bobby had reluctantly agreed. Walking to his desk, he pulled out his chair and sat down, glancing warily in her direction. He had expected her to be angry, but instead she seemed to be in denial.

Springfield Virginia

The Home of Reese and Claire Flanigan

Bailey was curled up on the bench of the breakfast nook, looking out the window at the squirrels playing in the backyard.

"You're a million miles away," her mother's voice broke into her thoughts.

"Not really," Bailey replied, turning to face the older woman. "Just thinking about everything that needs to be done today. There are bills that need to be paid for the bar but Dad's not up to signing checks. I need to stop by the bank and see if we can get you added as a signature on the account…"

"Just ask Ben Rollins to add you," Claire said, pouring herself a cup of coffee and sliding into the bench across from Bailey.

"No, I don't want that," Bailey shook her head. "Dad should have added you a long time ago."

"You're the better choice. You know about the running of the bar…"

"But I'm not staying, Mom. I'm here until Dad's out of danger and then Molly and I are going home."

"You are home, Bailey. There's no reason you can't stay."

"Molly and I have a life in New York, Mom. Molly has school and friends. I have a job…"

"There's a perfectly good school here, which your daughter seems to be enjoying thoroughly. You'd have no trouble finding a job here and you know it," Claire stated, studying Bailey across the table.

"It's not that simple," Bailey replied. "There's too much history here and things that are best forgotten."

"Is it Adam and Lily?"

"What? No."

"No? Your former fiancé is married to your sister. That has to be difficult for you." Claire had never had a problem speaking her mind.

"Adam and I were over a long time ago. As long as Lily's happy, I'm fine with it." Bailey knew it was true. She had spent time with both Adam and Lily and found that she hardly remembered the time when she and Adam had been involved. When she looked at him, she had fond memories, but no regrets.

"Is there a chance that you and your husband will get back together?"

"No," Bailey spoke with certainty. "Mike's a great guy, but things just didn't work out."

"He cheat on you?"

"Mom!"

"Well, I don't know if I don't ask. You aren't telling me anything," Claire stated, reaching for the sugar bowl.

"It's been six years since I've told you anything," Bailey reminded her. "That was your choice. Yours and Dad's – You want to know details? Rick Denton is Molly's father. Mike Logan married me in an attempt to keep Rick from getting custody of Molly. Now that Rick's been arrested, there was no reason for us to stay together. So you can think what you want of me – but Mike is off limits. I've never met a finer man and I won't allow you to judge him," she slid out of the bench. "I've got things to do. I'll go to the bank before I stop by the hospital to see Dad and then I'll be at the bar."

Claire watched her daughter leave the kitchen and wondered when Bailey had found her temper. As a child, she rarely raised her voice or argued with her siblings. Thomas and Lily were the attention seekers, while Bailey chose to blend in with the background. Smiling, she thought that she'd very much like to meet her son-in-law. A man who raised such a reaction in Bailey might prove interesting.

Downtown Springfield, VA

Bailey walked along the sidewalk towards her Jeep, carrying the signature cards that Ben Rollins had reluctantly given her. She ducked into the small diner and stepped up to the counter, ordering a large iced tea 'to go'.

"Bailey? Bailey Flanigan?"

She turned at the sound of her name to find Brenda Gibson studying her.

"I heard a rumor you were back in town, but I didn't believe it," the blonde said.

"I'm just helping out until my dad's out of the hospital," Bailey explained. "How are you? It's been a while."

"What can I say? I'm as marvelous and charming as always," Brenda chuckled. Brenda had a reputation for saying exactly what she thought at the precise moment the thought occurred and rarely apologized. "You look as stunning as the day you left."

"Your eyesight is failing," Bailey smiled, paying the waitress for her iced tea. "But you're sweet for saying so. How are the kids?"

"Bold and growing," Brenda opened the door for Bailey and followed her out. "Is it true that you have a little girl?"

"Molly, she's 6," the proud mom smiled.

"And her father is where?"

The question caused Bailey to hesitate for a moment before she replied:

"We're separated. He's a detective with the NYPD." She didn't want Molly associated with Rick Denton if there was any way to prevent it.

"That's too bad?" Brenda formed her response in the form of a question and Bailey couldn't help but smile, sadly.

"He's a wonderful man and Molly adores him."

"Then I'm sorry, sounds like you miss him."

Bailey was grateful when Brenda's husband caught up with them, scolding she was in town, Bailey hurried off towards her Jeep.

Community General Hospital

Springfield, Virginia

Reese Flanigan listened as Bailey explained the need for the signature cards, reluctant to admit that he wasn't capable of doing something as simple as check signing.

"You should be the one to be on the account," he said, his normally vibrant voice weak and hoarse. Bailey still had trouble seeing him hooked up to the tubes and wires that monitored his heart and fed him oxygen.

"No, Dad. It's better for Mom to be the secondary signature," Bailey told him, laying the cards on the hospital tray in front of him. She retrieved a pen from the nightstand and handed it to her father. "I'm not sure how long I'm going to be here and this will just be much simpler."

"You haven't been here long enough to talk about leaving again," he told her, signing the cards and setting the pen down. "And I need to meet my granddaughter."

"Once you're off the machines," she replied. "I don't want Molly to be frightened. Besides you're still limited on the amount of visitors you're allowed."

"What about this husband of yours?" Reese wanted to know. "He should be here with you…"

"Mike and I are separated, Dad," Bailey reminded him. She worried after his forgetfulness. He had rarely forgotten the smallest of details.

"Your idea or his?"

"That's none of your business," she stated, softly.

"You want something, you have to work at it," her father studied her as she picked up the signature cards. "You have to stick with something, not run away at the first sign of trouble…"

"I am not having this conversation with you, not now," Bailey's tone was firm. "I need to get over to the bar and get the orders in."

"Which only goes to prove my point," Reese pointed out but there was no force behind his words in his fragile state. "You're running rather than answering me."

Riding down in the elevator, Bailey fought to control her temper. The man had just told her that a person should 'stick with something, not run away'. This was the same man who had refused to believe that she had been raped, even though the visual evidence had told otherwise. If she had 'stuck with something', she would have pursued Rick Denton's prosecution years earlier, but instead she had honored her parents' wishes and remained silent. She had 'stuck with' Molly though, she smiled as her thoughts turned to her daughter. Molly had been the reason she had found her inner strength.

Goren Home

New York City

The twins were in their seats on the kitchen table, watching Charli as she prepared their cereal, chattering happily. Bobby came into the room, wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, but obviously having just awakened.

"Good morning," Charli smiled up at him, watching as he stopped in front of the twins. He always took time no matter how rushed or distracted he might be with a case. Jake and Emma adored their father and it was obvious in their reaction to him. She carried their breakfast to the table and Bobby turned his attention to her, leaning down for a soft, lingering kiss.

"Good morning," he said and took the bowl from her.

"I figured you'd sleep in this morning," she told him. "It was pretty late when you got in last night."

"This case Eames and I are working is leading us to one dead end after another," he told her. "I didn't mean to wake you when I came to bed…"

"I always want you to wake me when you come to bed," she assured him, laying her hand on his chest. "If for no other reason than to let me know you're safe." The times they spent talking in the darkness were some of the times Charli most cherished. They'd discuss the day's events, Bobby telling her of the most recent case he and Eames were working on and Charli would listen intently, asking questions that Bobby welcomed. Her curiosity bringing aspects to light that he or Eames may not have considered.

"The other reasons aren't bad either," Bobby teased, leaning in for another kiss only to be interrupted by Jake's unhappy cry that his breakfast was being delayed.

"Hang on to that thought," Charli instructed when Bobby turned his focus on feeding the twins. "Have you talked to Mike lately?" she asked, pouring her husband a cup of coffee.

"Not since Monday," he said, thanking her when she set the mug on the table for him. "He came in to talk to Ross. He – he's avoiding Wheeler and she's not too happy about it."

"He's got a lot on his plate right now," Charli retrieved her orange juice from the counter and took a sip before she continued. "He's got to be feeling some amount of guilt for Colin's arrest after the run ins he had with ADA Driver. Everyone knows that she was behind what happened. No matter how guilty Colin might be, she pushed for his arrest. And now that Bailey and Molly are gone, he's got to be feeling alone…"

"And there's nothing anyone can do about it," Bobby advised her. "He has to deal with the loss in his way and in his time." Charli knew he was thinking of the many losses he had suffered in his own life. She saw the sadness in his eyes at the memories that still haunted him and knew that he was right, since she still had her own ghosts that returned to disturb her from time to time.

"But we could invite him over – for dinner," she decided. "The twins shouldn't be so intimidating to him since they're able to hold their own heads up now," she chuckled at the recollection of Logan's panic when he had been forced to hold a newborn Jake. "And it would get him out of the apartment."

"I'll give him a call," Bobby said, even as he made a face at Emma and the child giggled delightedly.

"No, I will," Charli told him. Bobby cast a curious glance in her direction and she added: "He can't say 'no' to me."

Bobby knew that to be fact. Where Charli was concerned, Logan had a definite soft spot and had appointed himself her surrogate big brother.

Flanigan's Bar

Springfield, VA

Bailey surveyed the bar, recognizing the regulars and making a mental note to ask after several unfamiliar faces from one of the waitresses when the opportunity presented itself. A group of men at one table made Bailey uncomfortable, but she wasn't certain if it was intuition or her overly guarded demeanor. The men were loud and profane and could be heard bragging about their female conquests. Since none of the customers seemed to notice and none complained, Bailey simply kept a cautious eye on them, waiting for the chance to ask them to leave.

She'd been back in Springfield two weeks now and longed to be home. Home, the word brought a sad smile to her full lips. She had thought about Logan at the most inopportune times, becoming distracted as she wondered how he was and who he might be spending his time with. On the several occasions she had talked to Charli, she had forced herself not to ask after him, fearful that Charli would tell her of a new woman in Mike's life. When Charli had brought up his name, Bailey had been quick to change the subject and she was grateful that Charli hadn't pursued the matter.

"…of beer and a 7 & 7," the waitress' words broke into Bailey's thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what was the first part?"

"A pitcher of beer," Candy repeated. "You OK?"

"I'm fine," Bailey shrugged, holding a pitcher under the tap at an angle with the expertise of a master bartender. Candy had worked for Reese for the last five years and had offered her assistance to Bailey when it was made clear that Reese's daughter would be running the bar until his return. "My father cannot possibly work this place 7 nights a week. Doesn't he have bartending help?"

"He fired the last guy a day or two before his heart attack. He caught the guy skimming from the register," Candy set the pitcher on the tray and waited for the mixed drink. "You look like you've been doing this all your life."

"When your old man owns a bar, you learn early," Bailey offered her a smile. "We three kids were always working here in one place or another. I'm not one to brag, but set me loose in the kitchen and I'm a pretty mean short order cook."

"Well, stay out here. Shirley gets testy if anyone invades her space," Candy laughed. Bailey had already had a run-in with the cook over the condition of the kitchen. "And if she quits, I doubt you could be in both places at once."

"Are you saying I'm hard to get along with?" Bailey teased and Candy's laugh grew louder.

"I'm saying that you seem to know how things should be run and have no problem speaking your mind. Your dad's been trying to get her to take better care of that kitchen for months. I've never seen it so shiny, but she ain't happy about it."

Logan Apartment

New York City

"You've reached Mike, Bailey and Molly," Molly's voice came from the answering machine. "We're not home right now, so leave a message."

Charli listened to the child's voice and could picture her and Bailey huddled around the machine to make it just perfect.

"Mike, it's Charli. If you're there, pick up. If you're there and don't pick up and I find out, you're in trouble." She waited for a moment. "You're coming for dinner tomorrow night and there's no excuses. Be here at 6 o'clock and you can bring a loaf of fresh Italian bread from Cartelli's to go with the lasagna I'm making. See you tomorrow."

Mike sat on the couch, holding his head in his hands to counteract the throbbing from his hangover. Charli might be upset if she knew he had purposely not answered the phone, but she'd be downright angry if she knew he'd been drinking and a pissed Charli was the last person he needed to speak with at the moment.

No, he corrected himself. Wheeler was the last person he needed to speak with at the moment. She'd been calling every hour on the hour and had paid several visits to the apartment. Logan had refused to answer the door or the phone. He knew he was being a coward, but he also knew that he was single-handedly responsible for Terry Driver's vendetta against his partner – ex-partner.

Logan had seen the tears in her eyes, the devastation on her face when Wheeler had confronted him about what had happened. She had been angry and hurt and had made it clear that she held Logan responsible for Colin Ledger's arrest.

"If you hadn't been so hell bent on going after Driver," she had stormed. "But you don't think about anyone or anything when you're caught up in your self-righteous piety! You did the same thing with Bailey, didn't you? You wanted Denton arrested – Bailey didn't, did she?" When Logan had remained silent, she continued: "And you never ask yourself why you're alone? Dammit, Logan, there's more to life than you and your version of what's right."

He had listened to her and digested every word, knowing that she spoke the truth. If he had backed down from Driver, maybe, just maybe Ledger wouldn't have been arrested and Wheeler wouldn't despise her ex-partner. If he had taken the time to consider Bailey's fears about Molly, maybe he could have earned her trust and she would have wanted to stay with him. Maybe…life was full of them and they started back with, maybe if I hadn't punched that damn City Councilman…Logan thought. Maybe he'd have been with Lennie and known something was wrong, maybe he could have convinced Lennie to get medical attention. Maybe…

It had been Wheeler's words that had fueled his anger when he spoke with Father Shea in the hospital chapel. Knowing that Wheeler was right in so many ways, but also knowing that Randy Nichols would have remained in prison, paying for a crime he hadn't committed, if he hadn't challenged Driver. And, if he hadn't gone after Denton, he'd be free to continue to terrorize Bailey and Molly and do God knows what to his wife. Did anyone understand that he only meant to do the right thing? For Nichols, for Cynthia and even more so, for his own family.

Family, he didn't have a family, he reminded himself. He'd stood back and let them leave – hell, he'd helped them move. He swore hotly and rose to his feet, moaning as the pain shot through his head. He needed to get out of the apartment before he drowned in the memories.

He exited the building and stopped dead. Megan Wheeler was leaning against the back of her car, her cell phone to her ear.

"Well, this would explain why you aren't answering your phone," she closed the phone and walked towards him. "You don't return your calls anymore?"

"I'm a man of leisure right now," he told her. "I don't have to do anything I don't want to. Besides, the last time we talked, I doubted you'd want much to do with me anymore, not that I blame you."

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" Megan asked.

"If you want to yell at me some more, why don't we just do it here?"

"Because I don't want to yell anymore, at least not at you," she said. "Come on, there's a coffee shop down the street and you look like you could use a hot cup and something to eat."

Mike studied her for a moment before he nodded his head and they set off in the direction of the small café. Once they had ordered, Mike sat back in his chair and asked:

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"About this nonsense of you leaving the force. You love your job, Logan. If you decided to leave because of what I said, I just want to let you know that I was out of line. I was hurt and angry and you were in my line of fire."

"I was pious and self-righteous and I charged ahead without caring about anyone or anything around me," Logan repeated her words back to her.

"Colin is responsible for what happened to Colin," Megan replied softly. "I didn't want to believe that he could be guilty or that I was so naïve that I didn't see it. You were doing your job, we were doing our job."

"Well, for what it's worth, thanks, Wheeler," Mike said, smiling at the waitress as she set his coffee in front of him. "But if you think that you or anyone else could say something to make me leave the NYPD, you have a way too high opinion of yourself."

"Excuse me?" Wheeler was more than a little surprised by Logan's words.

"Get over yourself, Wheeler. I survived the fallout from a hell of a lot of scandals and pissed off more than my fair share of partners," Mike offered her a boyish grin. "It was my decision and mine alone to leave. I've got choices to make and I need to decide where I'm headed with my life."

"But you can do that and still be a detective…"

"Don't you get it, Wheeler? I don't want to be a cop anymore. I'm done. There's something out there," Mike looked out the window and gestured with his hand. "Something that I've never tried, or forgotten that I enjoyed. I want…" He paused as he searched for the word, a passion in his voice. "Happiness. Is that too much to ask?"

"No, it's not," Megan smiled at him. "We all deserve to be happy, even you."

"Gee, thanks," Logan offered her a crooked grin.

"You're welcome. So this means you aren't coming back?"

"Nope."

"You know Ross is going to stick me with a new partner?"

"Yep." Logan sipped his coffee. "And you'll get used to him, just like we all got used to all our other partners. You'll be fine, Wheeler."

The waitress brought their order and Mike found his appetite for the first time in days, taking a healthy bite. Megan picked at her salad, thoughtfully.

"What – what are you going to do about Bailey and Molly?"

"They're in Virginia. Bailey's father had a heart attack and they're staying down there until he's back on his feet."

"And that's OK with you?"

"We aren't together anymore," Mike reminded her. "And even when we were, Bailey has a mind all her own and did pretty much as she damn well pleased."

"She was good for you," Megan popped a cherry tomato into her mouth.

"You didn't like her."

"She grew on me," Megan smiled. "And the thought of you with a kid had a humor all its own."

At the mention of Molly, Mike's smile faded. He had no experience with children and they had always intimidated or annoyed him. But from the first moment Molly had literally run into his arms, he had been captivated.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Logan shook his head. "I just – I miss my daughter," he admitted.

"And Bailey?"

"I can't sleep in our bed," he confided. "I smell her, I feel her – there are times I think I can even hear her." His hazel eyes met Megan's gaze across the table. "You tell me? Do I miss her?"

"What are you going to do?"

"She left me, Wheeler. She took Molly and she left me. There's nothing I can do," he stated.

"There's nothing you can do?" The shock in her voice was barely contained. "I never knew you to be a quitter…"

Mike changed the subject then, refusing to be drawn into a debate about his failed marriage. By the time they had finished eating, Megan glanced at her watch, realizing she'd be late getting back to work. When they arrived back at her car, she dug her keys out of her pocket and turned to face him.

"I'm not saying goodbye, because we'll see each other," she stated.

"Sure we will," Logan agreed, although he didn't sound as certain.

"And if Ross sticks me with some dweeb, I'll hunt you down and make you pay," she laughed.

"Wheeler, no matter who Ross partners you with, you can rest assured of one thing…"

"What's that?"

"You'll miss me," he promised her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"I will," she agreed, fighting back the urge to hug him. "You take care of yourself."

"Always," he smiled. "And Wheeler…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm never farther than a phone call away."

He watched her pull out of the parking lot, feeling in better spirits than he had in days. She was dealing with Ledger's betrayal and moving on with her life. He was proud of her. She'd been one of his better partners and for that he'd always be grateful. His thoughts turned to Lennie Briscoe, as they always did when he thought of his partners, and he couldn't help but smile.

"You'd know what I should do, you old coot," Mike said, looking up towards the heavens. "Where are you when I need you?"

End Chapter 1