A/N: So, hello! We, (Lexia Daughter of Athena, and daughterofathena11, are making a commentary to the dreaded "My Immortal." We will be writing our reactions like so: Lexia: BOLD D.O.A.: ITALICS
Everything belonging to Tara, is in regular type.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)(- Umm… No, I don't get it.) 2 my gf (ew not in that way)- (Umm… PERV!) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wifda story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!- (I feel bad for spell check.)
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (Classic Mary-Sue..) and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)(You were born with long hair?) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).(Who is Amy Lee? And I'm not going anywhere. I'm in my house.) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.(Umm… In the Harry Potter universe, vampires are hated, and not allowed to go to Hogwarts.) I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (SCOTLAND!) where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen) (Well, DUH.). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)(I absolutely couldn't.) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.(1. Hot Topic isn't in Europe. 2. We can tell that you're not really goth. You're trying to hard.) For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.(What happened to robes?) I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.(McGonnagal would kill you. Plus, vampires are pale anyways, so why bother with the white foundation!) I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun,(What is up with the weather?) which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. (Again, trying too hard!) (Really lady-like, huh?")
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! (Lexia the grammar freak here. What's up with the …'s?)
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly. (Since when is Draco shy?")
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (No, you were just to retarted to write the rest of the Draco/Ebony crap.)
AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! (We don't have fangs. Only sparkly vampires do.)
Chapter 2
AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps (NEVER!) (I'm not a prep.. But I think you are.) stop flaming ma (WTH?) story ok!
The next day I woke up in my bedroom. (What happened to the dorm rooms?) It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin (WHAT? It's four posters, not coffins.) and drank some blood from a bottle I had. (My little brother drinks from a bottle. Now decide, are you 3 or 17?) My coffin was black ebony (That's like saying black black.) and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun. (Again! Where's the uniforms?) (We don't give a crap 'bout what you're wearing!)
My friend, Willow (A/N: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.) (Why is EVERYONE goth?) (Let me get this straight, you got out of bed, grinned, flipped your hair, ALL before opening your eyes? What the heck?)
"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. (Um.. Everyone hates Malfoy. He's not like the school hottie or something.)
"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. (Vampires can blush? Since when, I thought they sparkled?)
"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.
"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted. (Um… Cuss much?)
"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.
"Hi." he said.
"Hi." I replied flirtily. (Don't you mean flirtatiously?) (Mood swings, much?)
"Guess what." he said.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." (Muggle bands, wizard town. You tell me what's wrong with that.) he told me.
"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. "Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.
I gasped. (Le gasp! This is a very pathetic attempt at a cliff hanger.)
Chapter 3.
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.(I thought gothic people hate you, I mean you disgrace them. And you spell 'gothic' "goffik." IDIOT. DISGRACE. We live in Charlotte!)
On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.(*COUGH* STERYOTYPE *COUGH*) I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding (The book was bleeding?) and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood (Cannibal?Insert "Cannibal" by Ke$ha here.) so I was ready to go to the concert.
I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.(Flying cars are illegal in the HP universe.) He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!). (Maybe a gay guy. But probably not.)
"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. (MOOD SWINGS!)
"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) (That's not even a license plate number.) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. (You act like that's really cool) When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).
"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.
Suddenly Draco looked sad. (Draco doesn't get sad.)
"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.
"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.
"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective. (Talk about OOC..)
"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff.I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. (What did Hilary Duff ever do to you?)
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer (Again, illegal!) and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest! (Le gasp!) (Stop with the …. It looks like you fell asleep on the keyboard.)
Chapter 4.
AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY (Make up your mind!) nut mary su (If you google Mary-Sue, her name comes up first.) OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV (Draco hates everyone.) wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok! (I didn't understand any of that.*Cue confused look on face.*)
"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. (We get it. You're angry.)
"Ebony?" he asked.
"What?" I snapped. (Middle-school drama snap!)
Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore. (Ooookay? By looking at Voldemort style eyes, you lost your anger? What's up with that?)
And then… (You fell asleep again. You should buy some Red Bull.) suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. (You made out against a tree? How comfortable.)He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time. (No, we don't know what. Kidding, but that was lame. My 10 YEAR OLD sister can write better than that.)
"Oh! Oh! Oh! " (Oh no! Le gasp!) I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere (What?) and my pale body became all warm. And then….
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
It was….(Really, Red Bull isn't that expensive.) Dumbledore! (Dumbledore doesn't cuss. He's like 568 years old.)
Chapter 5.
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws! (If that was only true… PLEASE, end our torture!)
Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
"You ludacris (Don't bring Ludacris into this!) fools!" he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood (You should get that checked.) down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. (Awkward, and TOTALLY OOC.) When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.
"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" (WE GET IT!) he yelled in a furious voice.
"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" (*Odd sputtering noises erupt from mouths*) asked Professor McGonagall.
"How dare you?" (OOC!) demanded Professor Snape.
And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" (OOC!)
Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms." (So, if you ever get in trouble, just say, "Because I love her/him!" And Professor Snape will let you off the hook. *SNORTS*)
Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.
"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently. (THEY SPELT HER NAME RIGHT! OH JOY!)
"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out…. (Thanks for the description no-one cares about. LE GASP!) (Heels for pajamas?)
Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. (NOT ALLOWED!) We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. (PERV!)
Chapter 6.
AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows! (Potty mouth.)
The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. (UNIFORM!)
In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula (What are you, 5?) cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.(Drink enough blood?) Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.
"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin.(Oookay?) He had a sexy English accent.(A lot of them are from ENGLAND.) He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.
"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.
"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.
"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." (OOC!) he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled. (3 year old. End of Story.)
"Well, I am a vampire." (And I sparkle!) I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." ("Do you sparkle too?") I roared. (LIKE A LION!)
We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.
Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life
AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake! (Honey, you just offended SO many people. It's not even funny.) ("Evony" IS a Mary-Sue, she's the depressed Mary-Sue. There are many kinds.)
Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish(AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).(Yeah, it does.) I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed (Misery IS depression, genius.) eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…
We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra (Sounds uncomfortable.) and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and weHAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)(Uh, that's the DEFINITION of stupid.)
"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire! (LE GASP!)
I was so angry.
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.
"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.
"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"
I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.
"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled. (Every time I walk into class, I'm gonna scream that now..)
Chapter 8.
AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep! (That's like what the Imma Wiserd dude does. He says, "If u flame, ur rassit." Yeah, I know it's spelt wrong.)
Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.
"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.
My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. ) (YOU RETARD! Hermione's my favorite character! You (insert cuss word of choice here)!)
"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.
"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.
Everyone gasped.
I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) (Ebony's bi?) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker.(Are there NO genders here?) We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) (What's wrong with you?)
"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.
"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility (?) to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.
Chapter 9.
AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCR ROX! (WHAT are you taking?)
I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco. (Poor tree..)
Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything( what is everything for you? There are many definitions of everything) started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (You already said that he doesn't have a nose.) (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort! (LE GASP!)
"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.
"Crookshanks!" (Crookshanks is a cat. What can he do for you?) I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist (You just offended some MORE people. More to add to the list of people who hate you.) so I stopped.
"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!" (Did you come from Victorian England?)
I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?
"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.
Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged. (They don't have guns.)
"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"
"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way. (You just said that you like Vampire Harry… CONFUZLED!)
Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis. (That's Legimency.)" he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.
I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.
"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"
"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. (Why are you always comparing guys to those people.)"Are you okay?" I asked.
"No." he answered.
"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.
"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out. (You can walk and make out at the same time? OMG, epic multi-tasking skills!)
Chapter 10.
AN: stup it u gay fags if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok! (WHY IS EVERYONE A VAMPIRE!)
I was really scared about Vlodemort (Typo. Just 1 of the 3044573839) all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) (So Ron's a Mexican Vampire now?) and Hargrid. (WHY?) Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (Why? It's not a bad word. You've cussed plenty already.) (there's no way I'm writing that) or asteak) (Raw meat can kill!) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.(you are the flipping definition of slut, my friend was called a slut, but you, you really are one and deserved to be called one. What's the point of clothes if you disgrace them?)
We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears. (MOOD SWINGS!)
"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice. (? Like conceited?)
"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. (If you cuss that much, it loses all meaning.)
"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?) (Yep. It most certainly is.)
I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. (OOC…)
We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.
"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists." (I thought only Crosses, and Raw Meat could kill him.)
Chapter 11.
AN: i sed stup flaming (I don't want to!) up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!
"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying (you mean wetting yourself?) myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way. (And the rest of your characters aren't?)
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin (TYPO!) was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks. (That made absolutely NO sense.)
"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.
"Abra Kedavra!" (Is he gonna pull a rabbit out of his hat next?) he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…
Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.
"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" (NO! You destroyed Hagrid! RIP all Characters.. SNIFF)
"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."
"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.
Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.
"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. (SPARKLE!)
"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. (Why did she disgrace 50 Cent?)
"Because you're goffic (TYPO!)?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.
"Because I LOVE HER!" (There it is again!)
Lexia's Editor's Note:
So, this is Chapters 1-11. Yes, we know. This story SUCKS. We laughed so hard, the entire time.
So, here's DaughterofAthena11's:
D.O.A.11's Editor's Note:
Recap:
No genders
Everyone is OOC,goth, emo, satainist, and a vampire
My spell check died R.I.P. spellcheck
Ebony is the defioniton of a Mary-Sue and slut
All charecters are in love with ebony because they are bisexual
Everyone has at least 3 names
I lost all my brain cells
This story sucks!
WHAT IS TARA TAKING?