Written: 10-27-17

-Sky

Between the Lines

"I thought I was ready to bleed

That we'd move on from the shadows on the wall

And stand in the center of it all

Too late two choices to stay or to leave"

-Between the Lines (Sara Bareilles)

Who willingly lives in comparison? That's just ridiculous and torturous at the same time, right? Chloe thought.

She stared blankly far across the glass window of the room where she was sitting alone, her mind fleeting. Heaving another deep breath for maybe the hundredth time of this day. She really needed to be distracted. Cause her mind is really in chaos, always battling her own thoughts in which, at the end of the day a decision was un-made.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of him. Most certainly, she would feel all excited at the sight of the man, but now though she still feels the same, it was mixed with a heavy feeling. For the last few days, or maybe even years now, she lost count already, she can't seem to shake off the man in her thoughts. That's why she had worked hard to avoid him.

The field outside the room wasn't that far. She saw a few students in the campus passes by the room, she was just staring again ̶ blankly ahead.

She stayed like that for the next few minutes, however, not until when Tom walked across the quad, standing in front of the glass window of the room in which Chloe was in. He's smiling widely at her, happy that he saw her after a few days that they hadn't talked or seen each other.

He knocked on the window, causing Chloe to almost jump in her seat as their eyes met.

"Shit." Chloe cursed under her breath. She would be lying if she tells that his sudden appearance was the only reason her heart was beating like she had run a marathon.

But she wouldn't admit that, would she?

Cause if she'll be honest, her heart is always like this whenever she sees him. That's just the effect of Tom on Chloe.

Tom motioned his hands to tell Chloe to meet him outside, he couldn't take his eyes off her, afraid that she might just run away from him. Chloe got the message through the gesture and nodded her head as a response after hesitating a bit, gathering all her belongings as she stood up from her seat. She mentally reminded herself that she shouldn't be with him, unless, she had cleared her thoughts. But she knew too well that she wouldn't be able to get away from him this time.

It wasn't going to be that easy.

He patiently waited for Chloe in the back door of the room, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. A minute later, Chloe came out from the door, forcing a smile so he wouldn't have to ask her what's wrong.

"There you are!" Tom said in an excited tone.

He wasn't that dumb to not notice that Chloe was rather quiet, which was unusual. The girl was a 'talker' after all. His eyes squinted a bit, in which he only does whenever he is suspecting if whether there is something wrong or not.

She tried to play it innocent. It wasn't that difficult for Chloe to give him her generous smile, even if she thought it was torturous enough to be with him, he could still make her smile, which makes things harder for her. She started to walk, wanting to create some distance from him, silence being the main barrier between them.

"Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly while speeding up to catch up to her. She glanced at him, still smiling as she shook her head slightly.

She holds on to the strap of her sling bag as if it gives her support, any kind of support that she needs. He, however, does not buy her response acceptable, but he knew it wouldn't be right if he pushes her to speak any further.

They are quietly strolling around the campus for some minutes. There's an undeniable awkward atmosphere around them, which Tom finds it odd. They were never in a situation like this.

Not unless, they had been, but he was oblivious at the time.

"You're scaring me off, Beale." Tom attempted to make a light conversation by putting enough emphasis on Chloe's surname.

She giggled, playfully smacking his arms that somehow relieves him.

"Sorry, I'm sort of distracted these past few days… I just needed space." Chloe tried to put a light on his cloud of confusion towards her recent behaviour.

He nodded silently. "What… were you some sort of an astronaut?" He then mocked her, referring to the 'space' she had mentioned that she needed. Why would she need space? From him?

"Funny." Chloe muttered sarcastically that earned a very manly chuckle from him.

Damnit.

"Wouldn't it be proper to treat your 'bestfriend' after avoiding me for some time?" Tom suggested, emphasizing the word best friend.

The word kind of hit at Chloe. Best friend. The word replayed on her mind.

"Oh, so, we're 'best friends' now?" She quoted with a slight sarcasm. He nodded grinning at her. "You really have a habit of labeling yourself, don't you?" she added as she jokingly rolled her eyes at him.

She half meant the statement though. If she were to label their 'status of friendship', she wouldn't. Because there wouldn't be a proper one –or at least for her. Cause she's just the only one feeling weird about their 'so-called' friendship.

"You know what, I always thought that you were sarcastic just like your twin. But it turns out, you were way more sarcastic than her." He uttered while shaking his head still wearing a wide smile on his face.

Chloe stopped at her tracks. A sharp feeling panged her chest. Her thoughts from earlier came back occupying her mind once again. How come he always finds ways to compare the two of them?

She knew by then that she was about to lose it. Specially if she stayed close to him any longer. Not to mention the risk of losing him if she would ever confess her feelings. And that, she wouldn't be able to live to, if she would lose him too. She felt her tears welling up on the corner of her eyes, but she couldn't cry in front of him. No, hell, no.

"I, uh, I'm sorry I forgot something in my locker. I…I'll go back there." She excused as she stepped backward, not looking at him. "Uh, I'll see you around." She added as she turned on her heels and walked away.

She breathed heavily as if she was just being suffocated not too long ago. While he just stared in daze, watching her disappear. Did he say anything stupid? He thought.

Knowing that she was out of his sight, she urged and ran as she felt tears starting blur her baby blue eyes. Damnit, there's no way that she would be able to step out of her twin's image, can she? She had always been living under her sister's shadow ever since she passed away. At first, she was too fluttered by it, she thinks so highly of her, but then the comparing and being under the shadow of her beloved sister grew larger that it started suffocating her.

Sure, they had a lot of similarities, she always looked up to her. But, how is it that she never has an image of her own? It was safe enough to say that people often referred to her as a clone of her deceased sister, or sometimes a different version of her. Everything she does, say or think. They would be compared together.

Though, she does not resent her sister for this, God, she loves her sister so much, but, she would be lying if she would say that 'this' does not pain her. Sometimes she wishes that it was her who should have died. Wouldn't that make things better for her? For other people? For him?

Her mind was so clouded by her thoughts, that her chest felt so tight and she couldn't breathe properly anymore. She continued running, unsure of where her feet are taking her. But one thing she was so sure of, she needed to be away.

She just kept running, away from everything, from everyone, from him… until she bumped onto something –or someone, she didn't know. It caused her to fall on the ground. As if it was on cue, she burst out, and started crying her heart out. She'd been holding all these emotion for too long that even if she tries to stop herself, it might just kill her. She sobbed as her tears streamed hysterically down on her cheeks. She could hear a deep cold voice uttering an apology for jolting onto her, but she only cried even more.

Why does things have to be like this? Was the main thought in her mind.

"Shit." The young woman mumbled beneath her breath as she kneeled trying to comfort a crying woman she had accidentally bumped onto.

It was an accident, it wasn't her thing, but she could sense that there's more than just falling on the ground that's why this pitiful woman was crying in front of her. Not to mention how they were both strangers to each other.

Who cries in front of a strangers, anyways? The young woman thought. Plus, it was embarrassing to the people passing by down the street because it really looked like she made her cry. Her cold stone façade was getting an embarrassment.

Hesitantly, the small woman put an arm around the girl's shoulder as if it would be enough to comfort the other girl. She really felt awkward specially that comforting wasn't in the list of what she does best. And, she's not into touching or any kinds of contact, but this girl beside her seemed too fragile.

And she can't handle fragile.

She's not the one to show care for others, considering that this one was a complete stranger. But she knew, a crying lady was one of her weakness. She always has a soft side to this kind of situation.

"Come on, miss. It shouldn't hurt that bad." The smaller woman said, sounding a bit annoyed because of the attention they were getting.

"How! How can you say that it does not hurt! It's killing me!" Chloe yelled while sobbing. She's not at the point to mind whether the scene was really embarrassing for other people nor she was talking –yelling at a stranger.

The girl felt a bit irritated by the childishness of the other woman. She was close to thinking that the crying lady was adorable. But clearly, she's still oblivious of the fact why the girl broke down in front of her like this. But hey, she's just trying to help her.

It was weird because if it were others, the girl would have just left after bumping into the other girl and saying her apologies. But the girl felt a pull force. And she couldn't just leave. Maybe it was her good side showing off? Damnit.

So, it exists now, huh?

After a few moments had passed, Chloe seemed to calm down a bit, still sobbing with both hands covering her flushed face.

When the stranger girl felt that Chloe had came down to her senses, she stood up shaking her head, why does she have to be in an disconcerting scene? She was about to take a step backward when she felt a pair of arms snaked through his leg.

Her eyebrows raised in shock and looked down at the crying girl. She felt the hair in the back of her neck all stood up by the unexpected contact. How dare this girl?!

She sighed in frustration. "What?" she irritatingly asked the other woman, who's hugging her legs. A pair of puffy baby blue eyes met her grayish-blue ones, as if there's a conversation going through.

But she felt one thing, she couldn't let this girl alone. Okay, does this sound so cliché?

"Come, you've made enough of a big scene. It's embarrassing" she coldly said as she offered her right hand to the woman, urging her to stand.

Chloe wiped her face, choking down a sob and then accepted the gentlewoman's hand. She tried thanking her, but her voice just cracked. The other girl only shook her head in disbelief, shoving both of her hands on the pocket of her skinny black jeans.

"I'm sorry for bumping on to you earlier, I wasn't looking. But it wasn't enough reason for you to put up a show like that." She scolded the other woman despite her pitiful image.

She wouldn't just let this go. Who knows? Maybe the girl was some kind of a con-artist? She thought.

She looked at Chloe who was looking down in embarrassment, she let out a deep sigh before running her finger through her brunette locks. "Not unless, you have some kind of 'drama' going on." The brunette took one step back, noticing that the girl is really 'broken'.

"I…I'm sorry." Chloe whispered, her voice really sounded in pain, specially that she had just stopped from crying.

The girl looked once again at Chloe, examining her whole feature. She does not look like she was a con artist, so that's one. She told herself. And two, the girl looked like she really needed help, whether it's a professional help or not. Because she did not seem lost or something.

Chloe bit her lower lip, feeling the guilt and embarrassment creeping up her heart, realizing the trouble she had caused. She also noticed that the other girl was looking at her, up and down. But thankfully, the girl did not bother asking her what happened. She isn't stable enough to talk and she might just cry again.

"Chloe?" A voice was heard not far away from where they are.

Chloe knew that voice too well. She closed her eyes tightly as if she's suppressing her threatening tears once again, biting her lips out of anxiety. The other girl seemed to notice her behaviour after hearing the man calling her name.

So, Chloe, huh? The girl told herself as if she was memorizing the other girl's name who seemed tensed by now. "Was he harassing you or what? Was he the one who was jerk enough to make you cry?" The girl rained Chloe those questions. Chloe could only shake her head for response.

Although the girl seemed not to buy Chloe's response, she looked across Chloe's shoulders as the man from behind starts walking towards their direction.

"Okay? I should go." The girl said and motioned to leave but once again, Chloe stopped him, tugging her arms.

The girl first glanced at Chloe's hands gripping on her arms tightly as if her life depends on it. Then she met Chloe's eyes, already staring back at her, pleading. Damn, her eyes were beautiful.

"Would you please… take me somewhere away from here?" Chloe sheepishly asked, her voice sounding desperate.

Of all time, all circumstances. Really, right now?

"Damn." She whispered and gritted her teeth.