Hello! Thanks for taking the time to read this, and without further ado here is the barely-revised, took me 10 hours 2 nights…. iTake the Blame.
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. I own the random characters I make up, but NOT iCarly.
FREDDIE
Freddie Benson sat inside the dull classroom of Mr. Beardstein's, waiting for him to arrive and so bored watching paint dry would be more interesting than this. He mentally ticked off the students in the room, waiting hopefully for someone to talk to him or to find somebody to talk to.
Carly's sick. Where's Sam? Oh yeah... it's time for one of her 'weekly meetings with Ted.' to discuss 'her behavioral issues.' Gibby? NO way.
Man, I wish there was SOMEBODY here to talk to. Why does homeroom have to be so darn boring? Where's Mr. B anyways?
And as if on cue, Mr. Beardstein strode into the classroom. "Good morning students. I hope you're all here today, and if you're not, just tell me!" He started laughing hysterically. Mrs. B. makes a lot of jokes that nobody except him knows about nor cares about... How is that funny anyway? It's not even humanely possible!
Between gasping breaths of laughter, Mr. Beardstein finally was able to stand up and begin roll call. "Josh Adams," he called. "Here!" Josh answered. "Freddie Benson." "I'm here! I answered.
There were a surprising amount of people here today... usually half of them skipped homeroom. Probably so they wouldn't have to hear all of Mr. Beardstein's horrible jokes. (Though Sam likes to point out that MY jokes are worse... But that's just her opinion. Right?)
"Carly Shay," Mrs. B. called out, his voice ringing and echoing between the solid concrete walls. "Carly Shay?" he repeated, this time as more of a question.
I was so lost in thought that it took me a second to remember I had the doctor's note for her."Mr. B?" I asked, raising my hand. "Carly isn't here...- she's sick with a cold and fever- I have the doctor's excuse, though."
"Perfect! Can you take that down to the Principal's office for me then, Freddie? Be sure that you button up your sweater, because it's COLD out there and you don't want to DELIVER the flu to anybody else!" Yeah... not only was Mr. Beardstein lazy, his jokes didn't make sense either. As he started to roll on the ground from laughter, (only to receive the stares of students) I decided to make my exit. "Sure thing Mr. B" I replied, although a bit pointlessly, and with the note in hand, made my way down to Principal Franklin's office.
SAM
"Thank you. Now what trouble have you gotten into within the past week?"
Have I mentioned that I absolutely HATE these 'talks'? Same blah blah blah every week. Ted always knows what my answers will be anyways. 'Yes I got in trouble.' What's he going to do about it anyways? It's not like I actually GAIN anything from these 'special sessions' (as Grey likes to call them).
And to make it all even worse, Carly was sick had been texting me all morning. I can always use a distraction from school, but she kept saying how annoyed and sad that she was that she wouldn't get all straight A's this semester. That crazy brit Mr. Devlin gave her a B just because she used lined paper that had 3 holes in it. And apparently, she can't even reprint it! How jank is that?
"Sam?"" he repeated.
"Uhh... let's see. I got yelled at by Mrs. Briggs for failing a quiz." Stupid old bat..
"Why did you fail the quiz?" he pressed.
I decided to tell him the truth. Me lying to Ted usually didn't go over well. "I didn't know the answers."
"Right. Next?" Oh Ted. He knew me too well...
"Uhhh, OH! I got kicked out of the cafeteria for slapping Gibby with a piece of pizza."
At least it was 'Veggie Burger and Spinach" day that day, because I wouldn't have stood for it if it was 'fried chicken and tater tots' day. The lunch freaks DEFINITELY wouldn't like that.
"Uh-huh." He didn't look too happy about it. Rubbing his temples, exasperated, he added, "Why did you slap Gibby with a piece of pizza?"
"I found it on the floor; I wasn't going to eat it! Plus I was trying to snap him out of it! The crazy dude just kept yelling "THE CHICKENS ARE COMING!" Trust me, I was saving a whole bunch of people from the fate of Gibby's randomness," I protested.
Gibby's are such an easy target.
Before he could speak any more, Grey entered. The room. "Principal Franklin, Freddie Benson has a note for you excusing the absence of a certain Carly Shay. And the school's computer is not working correctly so I cannot log in the report card grades. What should I do about it?" she said in a monotone.
"Thank you, Mrs. Grey," Principal Franklin replied. "Tell him to come in here and leave it on my desk. You can log in using my username and password. Come over here, I'll show you." I was playing with his name plaque, but stopped when I noticed Ted talking in a hushed voice.
"My username is BigTeddy, and my password is Corncake21," he said. "Aha! There you go." Hmm… I'll definitely have to remember that.
"And- by the way - can you do anything to get this syrup out of my tie?"
"Yes," she answered in that same monotone. "I took a stain-removing course in college."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if that woman is a robot. She dresses the same every day, talks in the same monotone. It's crazy, I tell you!
"Sam, while I'm gone, stay still and please try not to break anything." Darn. Ted knows me too well.
Hmm... But he didn't mention 'specifics', did he? As my mischievous instincts kicked in, I realized that there was something I could do about Carly's unfair grade after all...
Man, this is easy! Why does Freddie make such a big deal over this? It's too easy. aaaaand... changed. Well, now that I'm in, I might as well have some fun with this...
Let's see... What did Ted says that his password was? ...oh yeah. Corncake21. I could go for some corncakes right now... but aren't corncakes the same thing as cornbread? Or is it an actually CAKE... hmm... Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm hungry anyway.
"SAM?" I was in the middle of my food-brooding when I heard a familiar voice near the door. "What are you doing on Principal Franklin's-hbbrrmrrf!"
"Freddie!" I hissed, my eyes widening with the fear that somebody had heard us. I covered his mouth with my hand. "SHUT. UP!"
"Sorry!" he whisper-shouted as I quickly released my hand. "But when a guy walks in to see his... enemy... typing on a restricted computer and BREAKING THE LAW, he generally will be surprised and get suspicious! What are you doing, anyway?" Aha. His curiosity had gotten the best of him. I love it when good turns to evil.
"I'm just... changing a few things around on the school website," I said, striding back over to the corner where the desktop sat.
"Like what?" his eyebrows lifted up in either suspicion or curiosity. I was too excited to determine which. He followed me back to the chair and sat down at the desk, fingers poised at the ready. It wasn't even on purpose… it was just a nerdy instinct… he was drawn to computers like I was drawn to various parts of pigs.
"Remember Carly's freaky British teacher who gave her a B on that test the other day?"
"Mr. Devlin?"
"Yeah, that's it. Anyways, the usual computer didn't work for robot lady and so she came in here to put in the grades for the report cards for the semester so Ted showed her his username and password but left the computer up at the exact spot used to change the grades and so I got to change Carly's to the A that she deserved and-" I noticed that Freddie wasn't paying attention to me anymore. "Fr-" I stopped talking when I noticed who was at the doorway; Mrs. Grey.
"Principal Franklin!" she yelled, changing from weird-monotone robot to a loud, piercing, almost-crazed voice. Freddie and I both covered our ears as she yelled, "There are delinquents in your office trying to tarnish the name of Ridgeway Junior High!" Huh. Maybe this woman wasn't a robot after all. Maybe she was a foreign knight. Or a long-lost relative of Mrs. Benson's.
Principal Franklin entered the room, still maintaining a professional stance. "What is going on here?"
Freddie, realizing he was still sitting at the computer desk - in the chair - jumped out of the chair so high it would have been funny if we weren't in serious trouble right now. He clutched Carly's excuse note in his right hand. "Uh-Uhmm.. Here you go sir?" he weakly protested, letting the note flutter out of his hand onto Franklin's desk in the process.
"Freddie," he said sternly, "Please tell me what was going on here."
"Uh, uhm... Wha- Uh... IDIDIT!" he blurted out as I mentally face palmed myself for letting him even talk in the first place. Everyone knows the boy is no good at lying! (Well, at least NOW everyone does.) Freddie, realizing that he now wasn't going to get out of this, took a deep breath and began.
"I was going to deliver the note when I noticed your computer was on and there was something curious near the screen. I sat down and realized that you had a window open; one that was everybody's grades for the semester. Then I remembered that Carly got an unfair grade from one of her teachers so I decided to change it."
I was shocked. This was... Freddie? Being DECEPTIVE and devious? Had HE caught Carly's disease or something?
"Did Sam have anything to do with this?" Principle Franklin questioned uneasily.
"No, she didn't," Freddie replied in a weak yet firm voice.
My jaw almost dropped open. What? Freddie was lying, but more importantly Freddie was lying for ME?
"Sam, do you have anything to say or add to this?"
"N-no," I said, propelled by Freddie elbowing me.
"And Freddie, you realize that you will get a month of suspension for taking the blame?"
I could tell that this was hard to swallow for him. But he still replied,
"Yes, Principal Franklin. I will accept the punishment."
Freddie took the blame… for me.