The first year was the hardest of all, the one in which absolutely everything reminded him of her, he even thought he saw her sometimes, although he had to stop and remember that it was impossible, that he was not even living in the present in which she was and, as much as it would have been hard to accept it at first, he knew that Supergirl had died in one of her missions, so that prevented even more that it could be her.
He remembered traveling to that moment in spite of what the others had told him, for he had been warned that he should not alter the timeline, if his intention was to warn her of what would happen. But he was late to change that fact, what many called destiny, because maybe he could have arrived earlier, although, whatever it was, that scene was hard to forget. He still remembered how her body lay in the middle of the street while Superman tried to bring her back to life, as he had taken her in his arms, tucking her in her own cape before kissing her forehead, not allowing himself to cry, but, above all, he remembered how he had felt when he could not do anything to avoid it, to allow the person he loved to have died, blaming himself for what had happened. Maybe he should not have done it, but he wanted to be there when they gave her the last goodbye, keeping away from everyone, because disappearing for years and returning under these circumstances was not the right thing to do.
He discovered that Kara had refused to have a Kryptonian ceremony, that her body was sent into space, because she considered that she should stay at home, on Earth, where she had lived for many more years, however, he could hear Clark reciting part of the Kryptonian prayer, "You have been the sun of our lives. Our prayers will be the sun that lights your journey home. We will remember you every dawn and await to join you in the sky. Rao's will be done", which should have been uttered by a woman, but at this time, he was the only Kryptonian left alive. Tears slid down his cheeks as he watched everyone there, noticing how the years went by, curious at the presence of children of all ages, but drawing his attention to the little girl with intense blue eyes and blond hair that held the hand of someone who was supposed to be her father. That girl was the purest reflection of Kara, there was no doubt in assuring it, because he was seeing how her eyes were getting brighter and brighter, something characteristic of the woman he loved. This had made him smile, since he knew that Kara had been happy despite everything, that she had been able to continue with her life.
For the next two years she visited Kara frequently, at first to remind her that he still loved her and that he could not forget her, although over time, he stayed without words and just sat there in silence, thinking of the life that they could have had together or in all those memories they had shared. Sometimes he would say them aloud as if he expected some kind of response, simply to hear her laughter, but he stopped doing it when he realized that he was not going to get any kind of answer. However, the next four years were different, little by little he was going less, although he always went on the dates he had marked as important, such as her birthday, even the Earht one, their anniversary, the day she died ..., he had a long list, which was an excuse to be there. It was not only that that changed over time, but that he no longer used to go alone, Imra used to accompany him those days, because she understood that the feelings that he had towards Kara were never going to disappear.
This was the reason why he did not hesitate to convince the rest of the Legion to travel to Kara's time when they had the opportunity, because they had discovered that everything was unleashed as a result of another different event, which, in time, it was the one who would take her life. At first nobody wanted to listen to him, but when he started to relate it to other cases, they had to do it, although he was aware that it would not have been possible without Imra, who worked more than anyone to get the ship to be able to withstand all the changes that could happen.
However, he never imagined that it could be effective, he never imagined that he would wake up before the rest without knowing exactly where he was, so he did not hesitate to defend himself when he realized there were intruders in the ship, but could not hurt them when he saw them, only being able to whisper her name.
He made a first attempt to talk to her when they were in the DEO, where the questions had not been made to wait, where Kara did not leave him at all, as if she was afraid that he would disappear, showing that she still loved him, but, despite feeling comfortable because of her contact, he owed her the truth, so that, when he could not explain himself, he remained distant. Maybe he did not know how to do it either, so How did you explain that seven years had passed and he was married? How could he tell Kara without hurting her? But Imra's was not something he could hide when she appeared, so at one time or another he had to.
He had to admit that his head was anywhere else during those moments, just thinking about going back to the ship to make sure they were all right, because he had the feeling that it was not that way, that something was happening. He remembered waking up in a cell after trying to leave, with Kara in front of him, staring at him while she reproached him for having attacked two agents, which made him defend himself, "This is not you" he heard her whisper as she watched him with tears in the eyes, "It's me" he answered without wanting to explain, "Then make me believe it", that was what she asked, but what got him to duck his head without wanting to look at her while she kept talking. "You know, I do not sleep anymore. I lay awake at night staring at the ceiling, because if I close my eyes I dream about you dying. I see you disappear into the blackness of space ... forever. This is all I wanted. This. And when I saw you in that ship ..., Oh my God, I felt like I could hope again, I could touch you, and see you, and hear you, and be with you, finally. But you're different. You have nothing to say? Nothing?" Maybe he should have taken the opportunity and explained everything that happened, but "I'm sorry" was the only thing sincere he could say and knew that it hurt her.
But she was not the only one with the right to feel that way, because for him it had also been difficult, it had also cost him to sleep at night, avoid closing his eyes and remember their farewell, dreaming so many times to see her again, that it hurt
Even so, he asked Winn to help him get out of there, to get to the ship, although it was soon Kara who found herself there, angry with him. He could still feel how she grabbed the necklace that was on his neck, which made him separate from her abruptly before the contact of her hand on his chest, getting her even more angry and in an attempt to defend herself he ended up screaming back. No, for him it had not been seven months, but seven years, at which point he ended up explaining what happened after he got on that pod. However, everything was complicated at the time Imra's pod began to whistle, her life support was not working, she had to be removed from there before she drowned, but because of his nervousness was Kara who managed to break the glass.
"Who is she?" He had a second chance to explain himself, but again, he could not get his voice to be present except to say her name before leaving, because he was beginning not to hold Kara's gaze.
He watched the city at night, he had not been here for a long time and, he had to admit, it was something he had missed, turning his head towards Kara when he heard her approaching, maintaining for the first time sincere conversation since he had returned."The thruth neve hurts as much as secrets" she whispered to what he looked at her with some admiration, as he always did, at least, he remembered doing, smiling slightly while remembering an anecdote, which made them end up laughing.
"It's the first time I see you smile since you're back". And there was his third and last attempt to tell the truth, but, despite trying, he was interrupted by a voice, by Imra, who made him turn before running to her. However, he never imagined that this moment could be so hard, the whispering of those words, watching as the tears crowded in Kara's eyes, getting her gaze to become too intense, "comets", like the first time he had kissed her, captivated by her, which he would deny at first when she believed that they were not made for each other, but that she would end up admitting when she thought that she could lose him. But everything was too different now, because he was married to the person he wanted, in whom he had found support and understanding during the past few years, although sometimes he thought that he could never love her like Kara and that, perhaps, he did not deserve to be with her.
He had seen Kara leave, he had even heard her cry, only getting his heart to break, What if this was a second chance for both of them?, What if fate had wanted them to be together again? Because only she could make him feel that way just by looking at him.
He sighed, what was he supposed to do?
Hey, guys! Last week I posted how I thought Kara might have felt, but, What about Mon-el? I think he deserves a one-shot too.
I don't really think that he has forget Kara, I mean, she's like his firts love, so I think, (at least I hope) that he still having feelings for her, because I don't know about you, but I need Karamel.
Thanks so much for reading,
Ayrin