Not Ally Carter
Cammie had made about three cuts before her hands began to shake.
It wasn't that she couldn't handle the blade opening her flesh. Far from it. Three months of practice had left scars all over her arms as proof. It was the shallowness of the cuts that made it different. She had never made cuts this deep before, never felt so much blood run down her wrist.
Cammie leaned her head back and relished in the mental relief that came with the physical pain. She was trying hard not to think about him, yet thinking of nothing but.
Josh.
It would have been their eight month anniversary today.
Chameleon, she thought bitterly. It used to be a compliment, a fact signaling the natural spying ability she had. But recently it had become a burden. A reminder to something she hated being.
Invisible.
Attempting to avoid her wicked thoughts, she picked up the jagged blade she had swiped from the kitchen and rinsed it until it gleamed. After putting the blade back in its hiding spot, Cammie carefully put alcohol on her cuts. Not much, but enough to stop an infection and staunch the bleeding.
Once that was taken care off, she rolled her sleeves down, forced a smile on, and walked out to her awaiting roommates.
"And then, my dad slipped and fell in the lemon cake," Bex said with a laugh, "By far my parents funniest anniversary ever."
As their group joined the dark-skinned beauty in merriment, others glanced over to watch in envy. They saw sexy, mysterious Zachary Goode and handsome, funny Grant Newman punching each other in the shoulder as the joked around. They watched petite Elizabeth Sutton and the gorgeous Macey Mchenry giggling behind their hands at their friends antics. They glanced at nerdy, sarcastic Jonas Roberts make comments about Bex's dad getting lucky, and smiled as strong Rebecca Baxter slapped the back of his head.
Nobody spared a look at just plain Cameron Morgan.
She was there, of course, and participating in the laughter that was ringing through the restaurant. But when others saw the close-knit group of friends , hardly anyone noticed the Chameleon. And she knew.
"I need to go," she whispered quietly to her friends. They all seemed upset to see Cammie leave, because they all knew how little they were allowed to enter the little town of Roseville, but most of them overcame their sorrow when Bex continued talking about that disastrous anniversary.
Only one saw the pain in Cammie's eyes as she exited the restaurant. The same one that had noticed she was wearing long sleeves during the unnaturally warm April.
A spy is prepared for anything. Physical and mental.
But nothing protects the heart.
That's how Cammie felt. Ripped. Shattered. Like all the life was sucked out of her.
Nothing could have prepared her to having to watch her ex-boyfriend walk down that secluded alley with his new girlfriend.
There's pain. And then there is the pain you've already felt. The kind you have experienced before, and yet still comes back and manages to bite you in the ass. That's how she felt. The feeling of re-breaking spread through her, the feeling of losing Josh redone. But it didn't feel as bad as it had the first time.
It was worse.
When she had left him before break, she had loved him. He saw her, and she loved him. And even with the truth of her lies piled on his shoulders, he unexpectedly loved her too.
Cammie never thought that would change. Apparently not.
The worst of it all, was that she was there. She was there and Josh hadn't seen her. He just looked adoringly into DeeDee's eyes. The same way he used to look into Cammie's. Not sparing the the subtle beauty who's heart was breaking just across the street a second glance. Or even a first.
He just closed the little space between him and the perky blonde next to him, and added another tear to Cammie's heart by pressing his lips to DeeDee's.
And the Chameleon broke.
Sobbing. She remembers sobbing as she stumbled back to the Gallagher Academy. Nobody saw her run to her room sobbing, because everyone was enjoying the town day. In the giant, empty mansion, Cammie had never felt more alone.
The blade, she thought wildly through her blurry gaze, Damn it, where is my blade.
Fumbling around the bathroom, she took out her cutting blade. The knife was simple, stainless steel and jagged edge, it was as ordinary as any other kitchen object. But its job was cruel as it made the first indent in Cammie's skin.
Nobody sees me, her thoughts were erratic, but that was clear to her even in her dazed state.
She yelled in frustration and continue to maim her flesh. Somehow the slashes had turned into a word.
Invisible.
As her wound bled out, Cammie wondered if she was going to die. Then she realized she didn't care.
That's when he burst in. Her angel.
One look at the situation, and Zachary Goode had her wrapped in his arms. He didn't say anything, didn't even attempt to clean her wounds just yet. He just held her on the floor, rocking her back and forth while Cammie tried to explain in incoherent terms.
"Josh...DeeDee... D-didn't m-mean too... Invisible."
He shushed her, and continued to hold her. Zach may not have known what had driven her to such acts of self-violence. But when he saw he leave the restaurant he had to follow. Lovers instinct.
A half hour later, Cammie's sobs were slowing and Zach was bandaging her arm. They hadn't spoken yet, and while her eyes were still filled with tears, you could see the defensiveness build up behind them. Zach sighed, and decided to cross the line first.
"You have to stop."
She stiffened, and instantly her eyes became guarded. "You don't know what you're talking about."
He became angry, "Damn it Cammie, what do you want! You have to let him go."
"Shut up Zach! I don't want to hear it!"
In the heat of the argument he hadn't realized he had been tightening the gauze on her arm until she hissed in pain. Zach's eyes instantly softened as his more protective side took over. He inhaled deeply, considering his next words, before continuing.
"If you don't stop, I'm gonna have to tell somebody."
Her eyes widened in shock, before narrowing, "You wouldn't."
He sighed, trying to ignore the betrayed look in his Gallagher Girl's eyes. "I have to. Cammie, you could have died tonight."
"But I didn't."
"That doesn't matt-"
"Forget it," she snapped angrily, snatching the gauze out of Zach's unsuspecting hands, "Just leave. I can do it myself."
He stood up and walked to the door, but turned around when his hand reached the knob.
"Cammie, why can't you see how many people care for you! How I care for you? Can't you see that we would help you?" He ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation, "I know I can never be your first love Cam, but I can be your next. Don't you care about me at all or is it all about Jimmy."
She flinched at the old nickname.
Zach sighed. "You have three days."
And with that, the mysterious boy exited the room.
Two days later he was sitting alone in the library. When she walked in.
She was beautiful. Always was, but it was different today. She looked scared, but proud.
Without saying anything she took the knife and set it down on the desk. She faced the piercing green eyes and as he stood, she stepped into his warm embrace.
Her arms remained scarred, and the word INVISIBLE was still prominent. Always would be. But as Cammie left the library, safely tucked under Zach's arm, it didn't seem like such a big deal.
Like I promised, the happier version. I kinda wanted my five-shot undiluted with this horrid excuse for a story, so its on a different file. In case you didn't read Deadly I's, this is the alternate ending to Cammie's: Invisible. I preferred the second one, and I suggest you go check it out, although you don't have to read that one to get this. Even though this is longer, that one was just more powerful. But this was already written, and I couldn't resist posting it. Whatever, R&R.
~Sarah