Dear Diary of the Truth and Nothing But,
My name is Katana Myojin! :D I'm 6 years and two-fourths years old, and I live in a cave with my brother, mommy, and daddy! I don't go to school, but that's okay because I do plenty of learning here. I'm really good with helping with genetic stuff. It's only natural that I'm good at weird stuff since that's like a requirement to be in the Akatsuki. I'm an honorary member! That's means the best and most important member.
What is the Akatsuki you may ask? Well, it's a group that wants peace for the world and I think that's pretty great. We're gonna take down those big dumb villages and rule instead. We go through a lot of members, and there's only like 3 people who have been here super long outside of mommy and daddy.
Uhh... Let's see here... What else do I put in this? I have orange hair, green eyes... I'm 3 feet and 5 inches, super clumsy, and never wear shoes. Cause shoes are dumb. My favorite colors are orange, blue, green, black, purple, grey and red... but only sometimes red.
That's all I can think of to say/write for now... Good bye Diary!
-Katana
Katana put her diary away on a shelf and began to search through the piles that basically made up her floor. She wanted to find a clean shirt, but that didn't seem like something that was going to happen. So, she settled on just not wearing a shirt.
Katana leaves her room and explores the base. She thought it was pretty complex for what was essentially a big cave. She hadn't really looked before now, but her room was essentially just 2 walls catty-cornered against a cave wall. Actually, most of the rooms were braced against the wall. The residential part of the base was pretty much under ground.
Doesn't that technically make me a mole person...? Katana wonders as she makes her way to the kitchen. What exactly makes a mole person a mole person? Is it just that they live underground, or are they part mole? I guess they'd be part mole. Cause rats live underground, but you don't go around calling us cave dwellers rat people. That would be so rude. Oh, you know what else lives underground? Bats. So maybe technically I'm a bat person. But I don't sleep upside-
"What's Katana doing?" Kakuzu questions, sitting across the table from Konan.
"Oh, you know. Kid stuff." Konan shrugs.
"...She's been staring at that wall thoughtfully for awhile now." Kakuzu pauses. "You know, on second thought, I don't care."
That's Kakuzu. Him and Katana have what she calls a love-hate relationship. Kakuzu wouldn't say he hated her... he just hates the money the Akatsuki has to spend on her.
"Katana, where's your shirt?" Konan mildly scolds.
"They're all dirty! Or something."
"Well maybe if you'd clean your room..."
"...So I heard we got a new member today." Katana quickly changes the subject.
Konan rolls her eyes, but decides to just drop it. "And who told you that?"
"My BAOAPFFL."
"..."
Katana sighs dramatically. "Best And Only Adult Plant Friend For Life? Jeez, Mommy. I don't even get to go outside alone, and I'm more up to date than you!"
"Who...?"
"She means Zetsu." Kakuzu clarifies.
"Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!" Katana slow claps. "Ya know, we sure do send a lot of members on vacation-especially Kakuzu's partners."
"Yeah. We do." Konan shot the older man a look.
"And yet I can't have my own uniform..." She reaches up and pulls down the ingredients for cereal.
"...You know, the new member will be here soon."
"You're changing the subject!"
"Don't you wanna see who it is? And.. hm... And, your pet fish helped bring them in!"
"He's a shark, not a fish. Fish are dumb." Katana pouts.
"Regardless, you should go wait for them out front. Don't wander too far though."
"Fiiiine." Katana turns and leaves the kitchen with her bowl of cereal.
She sits on the floor in front of the large rock that sealed the entrance. She didn't really know how to open it, and even if she did... she didn't really have enough control over her chakra to do it. So all she can really do is wait, wondering what time of day it is.
When the rock began to creak across the ground, Katana bolted to her feet.
"Finally! What took you guys so long?" She ran forward to greet the group. "And you brought a girl back! You guys should bring someone my age back one day."
Katana climbed on top of Sasori's puppet and got comfortable. She then waved at Deidara.
"What the fuck is this, un?" Said blonde steps forward, confused at the sight of a small child here of all places. "You never said anything about children, un!"
"Oh, her? That's Katana. She's our honorary member." Kisame explains halfassedly.
"I'm six years old!" She announces proudly. "And I'm here to give you a tour of the base!"
"I'll pass, un."
"Yeah, I wasn't asking." Katana moved from Sasori's back to Itachi's, doing her best to hold herself up. "Onwards, Weasel-senpai!"
Surprisingly, Itachi went along with this. Kind of. He really just let her talk and point things out while he took the long way to his and Kisame's room. Deidara begrudgingly follows behind, and Sasori had left the moment Katana stopped using him as a seat.
"Oh, and this is another bedroom. This is where Kisame and Itachi stay, even though their rarely in there. They keep a lot of cool stuff in there..." Katana pauses as Itachi sets her down. "Not that I would know, since I'm not allowed in there. Uh... Yeah."
Katana catches Deidara trying to sneak off and goes to grab his wrist. She pulls him down the hall. "The rest of this is just closets and empty rooms. They were filled at some point, but our members are always taking vacations! Oh! Oh! This is Leader-sama's room!"
"What kind of name is that, un?"
"An important one." Katana pushes open the door and is greeted with a kunai centimeters from her face. "Oh, and this is Sanji!"
"Oh my god, un, there's another one."
"And that's the leader guy! He's my favorite!" Katana points at Pein as Sanji puts the kunai back in his pouch.
Pein steps forward and pats her head. "Katana, you and your brother go play." He turns his attention to the blonde who seemed to be trying to escape the child again. "And you must be Deidara."
Sanji quickly ushers me out the room and shuts the door.
"They're gonna bang." Katana whispers. "Do you know what that means, Sanji?"
"What does it mean, Katana?" Sanji replies in a monotone voice.
"It means they're gonna do the sex."
"...Do you even know what that means?"
"Nope."
Sanji was about 10 years old, and actively trained to become a Shinobi. He also didn't get to leave much, so this is what he does with his time. He also rocks the green eyes, but instead has blue hair.
"Alright, so take this." Sanji hands Katana a target that was almost as big as her. "And then run around all over the place."
"Why?"
"I need a moving target." He shrugs.
"But whenever you do this, I always end up with a knife in me. And that's never fu-"
THUNK!
Katana lets out a squeal when a shuriken pierces the wood. She pouts and begins to serpentine back and forth across the training grounds. She jumps into the air and wiggles the target around as much as she can. A barrage of weapons follow her wherever she moves the target, some of which lodging themselves in the slab of wood.
"You're almost too fast a target..." Sanji mutters under his breath.
"OW!" Katana squeaks as a large shuriken breaks through the battered target and cuts her arm. "I don't wanna train anymore!"
"Who said you had a choice?" Sanji scoffs.
"I did! And I'm leaving!" She puffs her cheeks out and stomps out the room.
She ducks as a kunai comes sailing towards her, and makes a hasty escape out the training room. She finds her way back to Pein's office and lets herself in. She climbs onto his desk, despite the paperwork covering it's surface.
"Hi Daddy! How was your day?"
"It was good, Katana." He replied, not looking up from his work.
"It doesn't look good. I mean, look at all these papers!"
He just grunts this time.
"Hey Daddy, can we get a movie?"
He sighs. "What kind of movie?"
"Uhh... I dunno... any movie, really! I hear Icha Icha Paradise: The Movie is good!" Katana waited for a reply, but recieved none. "We can go to the really good place in the Cloud Village! They always have the new stuff..."
"Mmkay."
"...Hmph." Katana pouts her lip out and rolls off the desk. She gives Pein a pointed look as she edges out the room.
She makes her way back to the front area, and is shocked to see that the stone was moved. Katana does a quick check around the room. She runs as fast as she can out the cave, giggling with glee. The fresh air, bright sun, and cute animals were more than enough to make this experience the highlight of her day.
What an amazing day! She thinks. The sun in my eyes, the wet grass on my feet, the strange man lurking in the shadows! ...Wait...
"Hi, mysterious person! I'm Katana!" She grins, running over the the strange figure. He wore a dark cloak and seemed happy to see her.
"Oh, yes. I know who you are." He replies, his voice gruff.
"Really? How? That's suppose to be a secret!"
No reply.
"You know, I'm getting real sick of people not answering me today! I mean, it's bad enough I can never leave the house-"
The mysterious man cocks his fist back and sucker punches the small child. Katana drops like a rock. He picks her up, slings her over his shoulder, and walks off.
Sanji watches from the safety of the open entrance. He rolls his eyes and goes to retrieve someone to handle this problem so he wouldn't have to.