Out in the land where the men are tough as cactus
Out in the land where the wild, wild west was won
Out in the land of the desperado
If yer as soft as an avocado
Yee-ha! Yer guacamole, son!

Home, home, this ain't it, pal!
Home, home, home on the Range
Home, home, better go git, pal!
You ain't home on the range

Out in the land where the weak are target practice,
(Home, home, home on the range)
Out in the land where they shoot the mild and meek
(Home, home, home on the range)
Out where the bad are a whole lot badder,
If yer the type with a nervous bladder, yip! Yow!
Yer saddle's gonna reek!
Cause you ain't home on the range,
Cowboy, yer really up the creek!

Home, home, home on the range
Home, home, home on the range
Home, home, home on the range
Home, home, home on the range

Through the Western wilderness rode a local stagecoach. Inside it were the Peanuts gang; Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Marcie, Peppermint Patty and Sally.

Outside, Snoopy and Woodstock were not far behind, riding a donkey.

The stagecoach rode past a farm where a little girl and her brother were watching.

Sally waved at the girl, who stuck out her tongue.

"Did you see that? She stuck her tongue out at me!" whined Sally. "I waved at that little kid and she stuck her tongue out at me! Boy, if I could get off this coach, I'll go back there and punch her lights out."

Just then, there was a BUMP outside the stagecoach.

One of its wheels had collided with a rock, causing it to break.

"Whoa, boys! Whoa!" said the coachman as he pulled on the horses' reins.

'Why are we stopping here?" Peppermint Patty asked Marcie before calling out to the coachman. "Hey, driver! We have a blowout or something!"

"I can see that, little lady." replied the coachman. "Just give me a few minutes to replace the wheel, then we'll be on our way to Chugwater."

"While he does that, I'm gonna bring down her window shades." said Sally.

She stormed out of the stagecoach and walked towards the girl's farm.

"I'm gonna dim her outlook and shorten her life span." she went on. "I'm gonna rearrange her landscape."

But when Sally came to face the farm girl, she glared back at her.

"On the other hand, I didn't know she had a mean streak on her." said Sally. "I'll confuse her with a silent but dignified retreat."