This is based off a dream one of my friends had. (Don't ask which one, Dragonheart! XD) When she told it, it was hilarious. I hoped this is just as funny. And it is a nonslash. Yippie. One-shot, and Wendy's POV.
School Dance
By Glacierclaw
There was a school dance coming up. I was more than happy. Not just because I loved dances, but because this could be a good chance for Stan and I to get back together. I had already broken up with Token, and missed Stan dearly.
All I had to do was ask him to the dance.
It was after Mrs. Garrison's class. I was staring at Stan out of the corner of my eye as he packed up his backpack while talking to Kyle at the same time. I bit my lip and glanced away. It wasn't that I was afraid to ask him; I had always been a bit to overconfident. Honestly, I had a fear that he would say no because he still hated me.
But I was going to ask him. Swinging my hair over my shoulder and walking with my head held high, I strolled over to him, feeling a blush coming.
"Hey Stan," I said cheerily.
Stan stopped talking and looked up. He blushed too. Kyle turned and stared at me like I had grown an extra head. I gave Stan a little smile and said, "I broke up with Token."
Stan blinked. He had amazing blue eyes. "That's good," was his awkward response.
"So do you want to go to the dance with me?"
Excellent, Wendy, way to get right to the point. I could feel Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Mrs. Garrison's eyes burning into me as I waited for Stan's answer. He's going to say no, I thought, my heart sinking horribly. I knew it. I never should have asked him. I'm such an idiot. Nice going Wendy. He's going to say no and I'll have to move to another state to avoid the humiliation and –
"Oh. Er…okay then," said Stan. He was tomato-red.
Well, that brightened my day. I beamed happily and exclaimed, "Great! I'll meet you here then."
"Great," he repeated, nodding.
I was in one hell of a better mood when I practically skipped out of class. I spotted Bebe and happily walked over to her. She was wearing her long blonde hair up today, something I hadn't seen her do a lot.
"Bebe, I just asked Stan to the dance," I said, once again blushing. "He just said yes!"
She shot me a quick glance. "You're going to the dance?" she asked, sounding disturbed. "Why? I thought you said they were for gaywads."
I was insulted. "No! I never said that." They're not for gaywads if I get to invite Stan, I thought, a dreamy expression casting over my face. I was a very, very happy Wendy Testaburger.
Right after school that day after I went home for a moment, I waited outside the gym doors where the dance would be held. Stan would be appearing at any moment. My heart was fluttering with both happiness and nervousness. I sighed and looked down at my clothes. I hadn't really dressed up, but I was wearing a halter with a short jacket over the front and long jeans. I had carefully brushed my hair and set my pink hat on a little crooked. I thought I looked pretty cool. I hope Stan thought the same thing.
"Hey."
I jumped. Ugh, why, why, why, do I keep making stupid mistakes like that? I hastily recovered myself by brushing my hair out of my eyes and giving him my famous smile, I faltered when I saw him. Stan looked a little different, and much cooler, as I thought – he was wearing a light gray hoodie with a pale blue shirt underneath that really matched his eyes, and he was wearing tan cargo pants to top it off. I loved his hair, too. It was swept forward in front and was very shiny. I thought it looked so cool.
"Wow," I said amazement. "You, uh, look great."
He grinned, embarrassed. "So do you."
We entered the gym. It was noisy, and crowded, and filled with people dancing. What more do you expect? I stood there a little awkwardly, wondering what to do. Start dancing? Ask to get food and stuff?
Neither. Instead, Stan sort of led me over to the chairs where we sat and watched everyone else dance. And we talked. Mostly about nothing, but I enjoyed it. We talked about the prank Cartman pulled on Kyle and just how big Hilary Clinton's ass was getting and why Kenny's family was so poor and if Bebe put on too much mascara. We were getting to know each other again. I was overjoyed. Stan seemed to be having fun with it as well.
At last, grinning from ear to ear and shining with embarrassment, he sat up. "Want to go to Mrs. Garrison's room?" he asked. "It's empty."
I blinked. "Why?" I asked, still smiling.
Stan shrugged. "Quieter."
I agreed, hoping he had a bit more in mind than just going to a place where there was less noise. Really, really hoping. We left the gymnasium and crossed the halls to Mrs. Garrison's room, laughing at the poor janitors who were left to clean up the gum war that Clyde and Craig had had.
Stan reached forward and opened the door. Still smiling, the two of us stepped inside…and froze. Wide-eyed, we simply stared at what we saw.
"Kyle?!"
"Bebe?!"
The two people in question tore their lips away from each other and gawked at us. That's right – lips. We had just walked in on Kyle and Bebe making out in Mrs. Garrison's classroom. Both of them were beet-red.
"My God," muttered Stan, taking off his hoodie and throwing it on the desk. "Kyle, I had no idea, dude."
He wore an ugly scowl on his face. "You shouldn't have walked in on us!" he snapped. "Who goes to a classroom during a dance?" Kyle shot a glance at Bebe, his green hat askew. She had her hands over her mouth and was even redder than Kyle.
"I know you kissed him once, Bebe," I said to her. "But that was the third season. This is season ten. What is wrong with you?"
She buried her face in her hands. "I – um – crap." Bebe finally pulled her hands away and brushed her hair out of her eyes. She looked very sheepish. "We've been secretly going out for months now," admitted Bebe. "We kept it secret because we didn't know what everyone else would think."
Stan looked both shocked and like he was holding back a wild burst of laughter. I felt the same way. I was ready to laugh at both of them. But when Stan did something I never thought he would do, all traces of laughter were gone.
He wrapped his arm around my waist. "Actually," he murmured, "I think they had the right idea." With that, he pulled me close and kissed me. My heart was fluttering with happiness. I mean, he was kissing me! Right there and then. I didn't expect our first kiss after the breakup to be in Mrs. Garrison's classroom, but what the hell. It was still a kiss.
Kyle and Bebe couldn't think of anything else to do, so they started kissing again too. We were a happy bunch of little fourth graders.
And that was the moment when Mr. Mackey decided to come into the room. Apparently, he had been chased out of his office by a whorde of bees mysteriously placed in his office, and was just coming in here to do some paperwork without the dull buzzing in his ear and the risk of being stung.
Obviously, he didn't find the peace and quiet he had been hoping for. He froze when he saw Stan and me kissing and Kyle and Bebe kissing, and the first thing that stupid counselor shouted out was,
"No PDAs! M'kay!"
With that he somehow managed to grab all four of us by the arms and rush us into the office. Bebe and I were forced to wait outside while Mr. Mackey yelled at poor Kyle and Stan. There was a very awkward silence between us as my soon-to-be boyfriend and Bebe's boyfriend were lectured. If I hadn't been so worried about him being suspended, I would have thought it was kind of funny. I mean, I had been caught kissing Stan in Mrs. Garrison's classroom by a counselor who couldn't stop saying 'm'kay' after everything and who was afraid of bees.
It seemed to go on forever. At last, Kyle exited through the door looking thoroughly pissed, and after that came Stan. I could still hear Mr. Mackey's voice: "And if you do something like that again, m'kay, I'll suspend you for a long time!"
To which Stan responded, "Fine! I don't want to go to this fucking school anyway!"
I never really found out how Mr. Mackey wasn't able to hear his elegant response (maybe because he was still shouting) but he managed to forget lecturing Bebe and me and ended it to our retreating backs as, "Don't be doing that again, m'kay!"
So the four of us headed back to the dance, talking about our hilarious experience with the school counselor. I was so relieved we were all getting along great. I had never liked Kyle all that much but now the Jewish kid was talking to me a lot. Maybe the two of us could replace Cartman and Kenny in their little group. But I doubt it.
We headed back to where Stan and I were sitting a few minutes before and talked about lots of stuff. I was having a great time. This was the best school dance ever!
Stan suddenly turned to me. He was still grinning. "Hey, Wendy, I left my hoodie in Mrs. Garrison's classroom."
"Then we should go get it," I replied cheerily, standing up.
We started toward the doors. Stan looked back at Kyle and Bebe and shouted back, "We'll be back in a minute."
They shrugged and waved us on.
The two of us headed down the halls and toward Mrs. Garrison's classroom. I didn't really care if we got caught going back their again because I was feeling a little rebellious. I just hoped that Mr. Mackey had decided to do his paperwork in the principle's office.
We found our usual classroom. This time, there was no kissing couple hiding out in there. Stan closed the door behind me as I stepped inside.
But just when I had begun looking for that light gray hoodie of his…
Chingkkkk!
Darkness.
Blackness.
I was standing there with no idea of where the door was or where Stan was or if there was a desk in front of me.
"Stan?" I said shakily.
"Yeah, I'm here, Wendy." He was somewhere to my left. "I think the power went out."
"No kidding."
The two of us walked forward, feeling our way around. It was kind of fun and scary at the same time. How many times are you going to be stuck in a classroom with your crush when the power is out?
It was then when the door opened. Stan and I whipped around, but there was nothing we could see anyway. We were scared. Was it an ax-murderer waiting to chop us in half like Kyle did to Kenny in season one?
"Who is that?" Stan finally called weakly to the darkness.
"Stan?" It was Kyle.
"God, what happened to the lights?" Bebe.
I heard the door shut.
"We were looking for Stan's hoodie when the power went out," I said. "Weird, huh?"
"We'll help you look," said Kyle. "Find the hoodie in the dark. No problem."
"I think there's a flashlight in here somewhere," came Bebe's voice. I heard scraping on the walls and I knew she was looking for Mrs. Garrison's desk.
So we started looking for Stan's damn hoodie. In the dark. No lights. We couldn't see our hands in front of our faces. It was both hilarious and totally not funny at the same time. I didn't really care; I was having fun.
I felt my hand grab fabric. "Stan, I found it!" I exclaimed.
I heard him grunt. "Nope, that's me, Wendy."
I elbowed the part I had grabbed. "Which part?" I exclaimed, laughing and elbowing harder.
"Ow! OW!" cried my best friend. I heard him crumple for some reason. Odd.
After that little scene, I felt around the desks for any sign of the hoodie. Then…yes! Fabric! Hopefully it wasn't Stan this time. I lifted it up high and exclaimed, "Here it is! I found it!"
"Um…" I heard Kyle's voice, which was strangely close. "That would be me, Wendy. Could I have my shirt back please?"
With that, the lights came on. Very suddenly.
You could imagine how that little scene looked. Stan was rolling on the ground clutching his guy's area, Bebe was feeling around the walls blindly, and I was holding up Kyle's shirt so high that it was coming off his arms. A very awkward pause.
"Well." Kyle unattached my hand and pulled his shirt down. "That was…interesting."
"Yeah," said Stan, wincing as he stood up. "That was."
And then the next interesting thing happened.
I heard a sound of something slowly breaking. I looked up and saw that a large glass lampshade was slowly unscrewing itself. Before I had time to act, it twisted and spiraled off…landing right on Kyle's head.
He let out a little grunt and simply crumpled to the ground. I had an awful feeling in my stomach that he might be dead. The lampshade had broken in half thanks to his hard head.
"KYLE!" screamed Bebe, dropping to the floor and propping his head up on her knee. It was a very romantic scene. "Are you all right? Kyle! Kyle!"
Stan reached forward and felt his pulse on his neck. "He's alive, dude," he said. "Just a little dazed."
Bebe wasn't listening. She was desperately trying to revive her merely dazed boyfriend. I watched, wincing, as she pounded his chest with her forearms and even performed CPR. All in all, I kind of wished I hadn't seen that.
Then Kyle opened his eyes. He blinked slowly and felt his chest, wondering why it hurt. Bebe, of course, was ecstatic.
"Kyle!" she cried. "You're alive!"
He looked up at her. "Yes I am, Bebe. Yes I am."A good line. I'll have to remember that one.
And, of course, that was the time that Mr. Mackey decided to enter. Again. He stared at Bebe holding Kyle up with her knee and exclaimed,
"Dammit! M'kay! No PDAs!" We were rushed, once again, to the principle's office.
And we never found Stan's hoodie.
Hahahaha! I thought that was brilliant. Brilliant, but random. Bow to me! Ahahahahaha! Anyway. Please leave a review, I haven't written a South Park fic in such a long time!