Disclaimer: If J.K. Rowling wrote this, her carreer would be a goner.
A/N: I don't know if I like this one. The plot bunnies wouldn't stop trying to chew off my head until I wrote this, so I figured I'd finish chapter one and see where it went from there. Read/Review... you guys know the drill.
September 1st
5:30 PM
My bedroom
Hi. I'm Ginny Weasely. You are my new… diary.
Wait. I don't need to introduce myself to an inanimate object. Sorry diary, old habits die hard.
This is weird. I haven't written in a diary in 5 years. I actually didn't ever plan on having another one. I have a slight phobia. The only diary I've ever had wrote back to me, possessed my body, and oh yeah, tried to take over the world. That might leave some emotional scarring. Possibly.
The whole reason I'm even writing in this damn thing (no offense, of course), is because mummy dearest thought it would be a terrific idea to get me a therapist. And said therapist thinks I should write in here to get over "that whole diary… issue". A living memory of an evil wizard possessed my body and almost killed me and my friends, through an innocent diary, and she thinks I should write in another one to "get some closure". I tell you, that woman is bloody brilliant.
In other news, I'm going back to Hogwarts tomorrow. My genius of a therapist is going to meet with me in some obscure room in the castle (there's certainly enough to spare) from 4:15 to 5:15 every Thursday night. I'm pretty excited, almost as excited as I would be to gauge my eyes out with a spoon. Oh goody.
To-do list for the school year:
1) Don't hang out with the Golden Trio. It makes people think I don't have any other friends. Because, apparently, I couldn't hang out with my brother's friends for their company. Nope. Not me. Never.
2) Find some other friends. (Colin Crevey? Luna Lovegood? The Giant Squid?)
3) Deal with Draco Malfoy's obnoxious comments. Refrain from stabbing him with sharp objects.
4) Try very hard not to let my mind combust from my overload of work, seeing as not only am I taking more than my required classes, I'm taking advance potions with the seventh years. I'm turning into bloody Hermione over here. She's a terrible influence.
5) Research stories about people who murdered their mother's and/or therapists and got away with it. I'm looking for heroes, baby.
September 2
9:03
Depressingly empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express
So, I think the title of my whereabouts speaks for itself. The good news is, I'm sticking to my to-do list, and starting with numero uno. It's not like I wasn't invited to join Hermione, Ron, and Harry, but they did it with fake smiles plastered on their faces, and Ron had his toe stamped on by Hermione when about to object. I denied their… kind offer. I'm actually quite proud of myself. The bad news: I'm sitting in a depressingly empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Well… at least I brought a book. I'm currently reading "Is That a Missile in Your Camouflage Cargos?"; the third book in the "Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?" series. They're trashy and terrible and I love it. I've got a sandwich in my bag for later, and more than half of the rest of my book to go. Maybe the emptiness isn't so depressing. With so many brothers, it's actually kind of nice to have some quiet time to myself.
9:21
Where is everybody::rocks back and forth in fetal position, sucking thumb, and humming "It's a Small World"::
11:07
Wishing my compartment was still depressingly empty
I have the incredible pleasure ::cough:: agony ::cough:: of being accompanied ::cough:: held against my will ::cough:: by one Draco Malfoy. I'm really trying to stick to number three on my to-do list, but the extra quill sticking out of my bag is just screaming "Use me to stab him! Use me to stab him!!!!". Okay, maybe it's just sitting there. But if quills spoke, that's what it would be saying.
I actually started reading, and Isabella was about to make love with Anthony, her one true love, for the first time. But, little does the happy love-making pair know, Fiero(Anthony's half-brother/ the father of Isabella's child) is stalking Isabella, waiting for the right moment to steal her away. He has found Anthony and her making love, and he was about to jump out of the bushes…
But I'm going off track here. Just at that climactic scene, the door to my compartment slams open. And guess who's there? None other than Draco Malfoy. I jumped at least ten feet in the air and threw my book. And with my amazing luck, he caught it. And taunted me for a good five minutes about it. Just when he'd finished that topic and was about to leave, Luna Lovegood walked in the goddamn door, all dreamy and vague, and she starts talking about how she saw I was all alone so she's going to keep me company. Which draws attention to Draco that I am, in fact, all alone in a compartment.
So now, I'm sitting in this damn compartment, Luna on my right, and Draco bloody Malfoy and his friend (Blaise Zabini? Maybe?) sitting across me. It's been an hour and already I'm ready to pull my hair out, strangle someone, or stab Daco with my screaming quill.
Insulting topics covered: 27
Times Draco has insulted me flat out: 34
Times Draco has insulted me in a passive aggressive way: 6
Biting remarks that I've said back: 33
Times we've insulted each other's families: 52
Number of imaginary animals Luna has brought up: 41
Hours left: 4-5
3:49
He seriously makes me want to kick puppies.
7:26
The Great Hall
So I survived the trip here, (thank Merlin), and the sorting is finished. Nothing really exciting occurred, just bunch of snot nosed first years whimpering about.
I'm a prefect now. Mum is very pleased. She got all excited that "now everyone in the family has become a prefect!" I'm assuming Fred and George are now the neighbor's kids? Funny. I could've sworn we were related.
Hermione is Head Girl. I'm shocked, really I am. And guess who Head Boy is? Draco bloody Malfoy. I'm not sure what Dumbledore is drinking in that goblet, but if it's enough for him to think Malfoy is Head Boy material, I sure as hell want some.
So this means I'll be answering to my sister-to-be. Okay, so Ron and Hermione aren't even dating yet, but it's all a matter of time that they'll be making little bushy-red-haired brats. ::shudders::.
And of course, there's Malfoy who is now overseeing what I do in my prefect job as well. Fan-fucking-tastic. This year is just getting better and better.
Well... there's a slice of pumpkin pie (why is everything here pumpkin??) calling my name, so I'm going to stop writing now.
10:00 PM
My dormitory
I'm trying to work on number two on my to-do list (find some new friends). I'm going to start by trying to actually get to know the girls who sleep in the same room as me. I've been living in the same room as these girls since I was 11, and I'm still not exactly close with any of them. Now that I think of it, I rarely even speak when I'm in this room. Hmm... I'm awfully exciting. I guess I'll just have to win one or two of them over, make them my best friends, survive the next two years, and live happily ever after in a house made entirely of either cheese, chocolate, or brillow pads.
Here are my options between the four of them:
Margaret Sawyer–
- kind of lanky, wispy blonde hair, light blue eyes
- very insecure
- Wear's sweaters and hunches over because she thinks it'll make her seem shorter. Where she gets this logic from, I don't have the faintest. It just makes people call her "Grandma".
- Thinks Neville Longbottom is sexy. Don't get me wrong, he's a sweet boy, but… ::shudder::.
- Has weird feet
- Insists on always having her toenails painted bright blue, and the polish always smears, and her weird feet just end up looking weird and diseased.
Larissa Martinez –
- a little shorter than me, very curvy, dark brown hair that makes her look like she should be starring in a shampoo ad
- confident, but not cocky
- laughs a lot and makes other people laugh a lot
- also reads the "Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?" novels
- in love with Dean Thomas; thinks I'm crazy for dumping him. But he bugged me. And was very over-protective. So boo on him.
- Rarely stops talking
- Very lovable
Blaire LaPoule -
- tall, thin but not lanky or anorexic looking, short and angled black hair with auburn streaks, wears a lot of eye makeup
- has multiple piercings
- still pretty, which isn't fair.
- loves to draw; very very good at it
- sarcastic and cynical, but it amuses me to no extent
- very straight-forward and honest; you'll know if she doesn't like you
- speaks French when she's frustrated, doesn't want you to know what she's saying, or just wants to irritate you
- reads a lot. Not exactly into the "Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?" novels; more into dark comedy, and trust me, it shows
- has a pet rat named Chartreuse; I'm still baffled as to why she named her pet after an ugly shade of green
- smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks like a fish(how does she get these things in a school that only serves pumpkin juice??); but somehow pulls off good grades
- finds Quidditch a waste of time and energy (WHAT?! WHO COULD POSSIBLY THINK THAT?! ...sorry. That was the Ginny who was taught what to think by six brothers. The other Ginny is back now. And apparently still speaking in the third person. Hmm.)
- Has been friends with Larissa since they were really young. Which is pretty weird if you knew them separately, but if you saw them hanging out together, you'd know they were completely perfect for each other. The "odd couple", would be the right way to describe it.
Alana DeBuchemi –
- looks a bit like one of those muggle Barbie-dolls
- is fully aware she looks like a Barbie-doll
- NEVER stops talking. And it's always about boys, make-up, clothes, celebrities, or her favorite topic: herself
- Pretty dumb, but thinks she's "like, super smart"
- If I see her eat at all, I usually hear her puking in the bathroom afterwards
- Wears so much perfume I almost choke when I'm in a five foot radius of her
- Flips her hair a lot and bats her eyelashes at anything with a penis
- Gossips about EVERYONE
- Mocks Margaret(poor, bizarre, girl), harasses Larissa(is very jealous), ignores me(understandable, I rarely acknowledge her existence) unless I mention something about Harry or any of my brothers(EW), and is always antagonizing Blaire(very stupid on her part) and they get into these massive arguments which can last anywhere from 5 minutes to many hours. It's either a great source of entertainment or terribly annoying, depending on what you're doing at the time.
So it looks like my only acceptable candidates are Larissa and Blaire. Which isn't so bad. Larissa is sweet and we have a lot in common, and Blaire is just plain cool and doesn't think I'm weird for not hanging out with them much. Or she just doesn't care. I'm pretty okay with either. The fact that they're close is extremely convenient for me. Larissa's asked me to hang out with them a bunch of times, Blaire didn't really, but she's not exactly the reaching out type. I wish I'd agreed to it, but I was always "busy" (tagging along with the Golden Trio).
So it's settled then. I'm going to try to get to know Larissa and Blaire better. If this works out, maybe this year won't be completely awful.
10:29
Oh Merlin, Blaire and Alana are on the verge of a fight already. The year has officially started. I'm going to do a play-by-play…
Alana starts blow-drying hair. At 10:30, when we have double-Potions first thing. I told you she wasn't the brightest.
Blaire is laying down on her bed reading, furrows her eyebrows, grumbles something under her breath that sounds something like "Méchant salope". I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I'm doubting she just called Alana a ravishing, brilliant, goddess she'd be so pleased if Alana would be humble enough to allow her clean her shoes with her own tongue. Just a wild guess.
Alana: Excuse me?!
Blaire: Tu as méchant salope.
Told you about the French thing.
Alana: What did you just call me?!
She probably thinks she's getting insulted in Mermish or something.
Blaire: I'm sorry Barbie, I completely forgot you're just about as worldly as a newborn flobberworm. I said that you're a nasty slut.
And it's so damn true.
Alana: Excuse me?!
She's starting to sound a little redundant.
Blaire: Did I not just explain what I said? Wow, you're denser than I thought.
Keep in mind that Blaire is still cool, calm and collected. She has not even looked up from her book yet. That is talent, ladies and gentlemen, pure talent.
Alana: You're a fucking freak Blaire.
Alana's getting hysterical, throwing out the most insolent thing she can think of, which happens to be her most over-used comment in similiar battles.
Blaire: That's original.
Still hasn't even glanced at Alana.
Alana: It's true. You're just a bitch because NO ONE LIKES YOU.
This is a true moment of desperation folks; she's trying to claw her way back up to even be in the running here.
Larissa: What am I? Nonexistent?
The best friend jumps in. Alana has no chance in hell.
Alana: You deserve to be.
Ahh, the jealousy factor. This is more familiar territory for her.
Larissa: Bitch.
Nice.
Alana: Whore.
Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black.
Larissa: Slut.
True.
Alana: Fatass.
Where did that one even come from?! Alana's reached such a point of hopelessness she's resorted to just making things up.
Larissa: Anorexic.
Ouch. The truth hurts sweetie.
Hmmm. Maybe it's time I started this whole befriending Blaire and Larissa thing. Might as well begin with standing up for them. And if it means I'll get to claw Alana's eyes out, well that's just a chance I'm willing to take ::cue in heroic music here::.
Me: Well, I like Blaire.
Wow. The room just went completely silent. And everyone's staring at me. Why are they all staring at me?! Was I seriously this quiet the five years I lived in the same room with these girls? They're still quiet. And Staring. I'm really freaked out right now.
Larissa just starting laughing. And Blaire is smirking. Is this good? I hope this is good. Oh Merlin, are they making fun of me? I hope not. This is a terrible start to a friendship. Why am I such an idiot?
Me: What'd I do?
Larissa(still chuckling): Don't worry about it, babe.
Blaire: You guys up for sneaking into the kitchens and nicking some food or something?
...huh. Maybe I'm not an idiot?
Larissa: Of course. Ginny?
Me: Me?
Wow. That was clever of me. No, the other Ginny.
Blaire: No. The other Ginny. (It's like we have the same brain! Except hers is probably pierced.)
Me: Yeah, I'd like that.
Oh well, screw Double-Potions tomorrow. ::dances and sings:: I have real friends! I have real friends!
I'm not so sure how I feel about this one. Read/Review. I need to know if I should put it to sleep.