Author's Note: Hello again, my lovelies! I've been kind of frustrated lately and I've been positively itching to write another Charik fic, but alas, writer's block had me in its horrible clutches. However, slowly but surely, I fought my way back and lo and behold, I'm presenting you with an actual CHAPTER story! Yes, that's your cue to take a dramatic, inward gasp. Anyway, just a forewarning, the immediate impression of this is very, very angsty but I PROMISE you it does get better. I just really wanted to focus upon some of the pain, anguish, and potential insecurities that Erik harbors. Please bear with me and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Charles Xavier, no matter how pretty and cute he is. That's Erik Lensherr's job. And vice versa.

Charles stared deadpan at his plate of toast and eggs, untouched and growing colder every passing minute. A little while ago, Charles had actually managed to grab a hold of his fork and twirl it dully between his fingers, with no real intention of using it for his food whatsoever. However, he soon abandoned this feat and sighed heavily. It wasn't as though he were waiting for himself to grow hungry nor for the food to suddenly become more appealing, but he felt as if he were physically bound to his seat, as he couldn't will himself to get up. He was weighed down with far too many things racking his brain to move from a stationary position. He was half-surprised that his mind hadn't sprung a leak from over-excessiveness. And though he was sitting at the table by his lonesome and was expected to be eating his breakfast, he felt about three thousand feet away from his body.

He couldn't help it; his mind skipped like a broken record. It was always the same damn thing and, despite his attempts to focus upon other things, he always found himself back at square one, mentally reciting the name of the man who was slowly driving him to the brink of passionate insanity.

"Erik…"

"Will you STOP that?" The one voice in his head that was still sensible would bite back.

"I cannot."

"Can you not simply ignore him?"

"About as easily as I can ignore hearing the rhythmic beating of my own heart."

"You're a Professor! You ought to have more sense than this!"

"I'm learned in the field of mutations. Affairs of the heart are an entirely different matter."

"Charles, you could be setting yourself up for the worst heartache of your life."

"…I know."

"Then why, for the sake of your sanity, can't you just let him go?"

"Much easier said than done."

He felt his pupils dilate as a hand was waved in front of his face. And suddenly, he was once again sitting at the table with a plate of cold food directly in front of him. However, most of his surroundings were now obscured by Raven, who stood adjacent to him but still managed to make perfect eye contact.

"Good morning, Raven." He greeted in a semi-dreamy tone. He still didn't feel all there.

"Charles, you haven't touched your food."

Charles gulped and looked at his meal.

"Well, no, but-" "Why are you barely eating anymore?" Raven cut in, a fusion of anger and concern detectable in her tone.

Charles bit his lower lip, "I didn't realize I was eating any less."

Raven rolled her eyes at her brother.

"Charles, don't insult my intelligence. I know I'm not Erik, but you can still talk to me."

Charles felt a blush creep onto his face, "N-No, Raven! It's nothing like that…"

"Then tell me. Charles, there's something wrong with you and you are worrying your sister. Please just tell me what's going on." She looked at him, her eyes hard yet still containing traces of sincerity and compassion.

Charles' mind lingered for a moment. What would Raven think of him if she knew he was sulking about only because he'd developed feelings for his best friend? And yet, he had an idea that she had known about this for awhile and was too polite to say anything…

"I suppose I could tell you above anyone else, Raven. I…I've been thinking about many things lately. I have a lot on my mind and it seems like, no matter what I do, I cannot rid myself of these thoughts."

Raven blinked and nodded in understanding.

"Have you ever thought of telling Erik?"

Charles' head zipped in her direction, he looked at her with wild, shocked blue eyes.

"Excuse me? I never said it had anything to do with Erik."

"And yet you're not denying it now." Raven knew all right. She'd noticed the spark between them perhaps before either of them did.

She placed her hands on her hips, "Don't you think that'd be the smart thing to do rather than torture yourselves by having to live in the same mansion together and pretend to be friends while you're both yearning for something else?"

Charles tilted his head at her.

"Raven, I haven't the slightest idea if-" "Oh, believe me, Erik feels something for you. He's just too much of a stoic to say anything. You can just tell by the way you two interact. And you're always spending time alone together…" Once again, Raven had cut him off.

Charles considered her words. It was true, he and Erik spent much of their time together, but he'd never thought that Erik would consider him anything beyond a friend. Was it possible that Erik was feeling the same way he was…?

"Are you certain about this?" Charles looked up at his sister with intense longing glinting in his bluebell eyes.

Raven smiled, "Charles, I've seen the way he looks at you. He's far too afraid to say it, but he adores you. There's a difference between the way stupid bar girls look at you and the way he does; they look at you hungrily, as if you're nothing more than the physical you whereas Erik looks as you as though he's trying to see the whole Charles Xavier, like he wants to understand and…love you."

There was something so endearing about Raven's face as she spoke these words to Charles that he could have seen without being a telepath that she wasn't merely making this up to make him feel better. Charles felt a warm smile spread across his own features.

"Thank you, Raven." He said as he tried to rise from his chair, but he was pushed back down into a sitting position by Raven's hand. He looked at her inquiringly.

"I'm not done just yet. I need to know that you're going to go through with this. So, Charles Xavier?"

Charles felt as though he were being quizzed, which in a way, wasn't a bad assumption.

"Yes?"

"You love Erik, right?"

"…More than anything."

"I mean it. Do you deeply, truly love him?"

"Yes."

"Then you have to promise me that you'll fight."

"What?"

"Love isn't an easy thing to acquire. You're going to have to go through hardship, hurt, frustration, anger, and perhaps even more. In the end, you're going to be the happiest you've ever been, but only if you stick with it. So I'll say it again, you'll have to fight for it. Do you think you'll be able to handle all of that?"

"I…Yes. I will. I'll fight for him. I love him and I refuse to give up without putting forth some effort."

"Good, "Raven said as she pulled him up out of his chair and brushed him off dramatically. Charles couldn't help but chuckle at her fussiness.

"Alright, now go." Raven said, pushing him on the back to punctuate her forcefulness.

Charles felt frozen where he stood, his insides suddenly felt very constricted.

"Now..?" He gulped.

"Yes. You can do this, Charles. I know you can, you owe it to yourself to try and be happy with him."

Charles nodded. She was right, there was a reason he never wanted to let go of Erik in the first place. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he wanted to try to be with him and he wasn't going to let his fear or overwhelming thoughts hold him back any longer.

"Well, wish me luck." He said and, turning on his heel, strode out of the room with newfound confidence.

"Luck." Raven uttered to herself, proudly watching her brother walking away to seize one of his dreams.

Author's Note: Alright, well, that's it so far. Not too far into the angst yet, but believe me, it's coming. I truly hope you like this, as r'n r is much appreciated.