gordon ramsay entered the dark restaurant, unsure of what horrors he would witness

"hello?" he voiced timidly

this is a nightmare he said to himself as he made his way toward the kitchen
A KITCHEN NIGHTMARE
there was no one in the restaurant which wasnt a surprise because it reeked of burnt food and there was the faint sound of someone weeping in the kitchen

gordon entered the kitchen and saw something straight from the depths of hell: rotten food sat on all surfaces, and roaches and rats crawled everywhere
the weeping grew louder
he was getting closer...
he walked through the kitchen slowly, careful not to step on any critters, and held his breath as he opened the freezer
for that was where the weeping originated

no other experience in gordon's life could've possibly prepared him for what he was about to see

but before he could take in the sight, a man in a tattered chef's coat dove out from behind nowhere and quickly slammed the freezer door shut
he had a crazy look in his eye and a rather large bite on his right arm

gordon stood rooted to the spot
it can't have been... his thoughts were racing
the man in the freezer was himself

"you shouldn't have come here, gordon," the man whimpered

"the steak fillet.. i told him not to serve it.."
for once, gordon was speechless.. who was the lookalike in the freezer? why was this man so sick? what had bitten him?

there suddenly came a loud banging on the door
the doppelganger looked frightened out of his mind at this noise and he attempted to crawl behind a cardboard box of long-past-good crawfish

gordon spun on his heel and backed away from the door
"hide..." murmured the lookalike, near tears
gordon narrowed his eyes and marched toward the door
"who's there! who the fuck is out there?"

the only response that came was more banging and a terrible gutteral moaning.
gordon looked back to the sick chef to ask what the fuck was going on, but it was no use.. he was dead.

suddenly, the flickering light in the freezer burned out completely
gordon pulled his lighter from his pocket and flipped it open
the lighter provided a meager lumination, but it was still somewhat of a comfort to the man
the banging ceased

gordon went quickly to the door and placed a hand on the warm metal (the freezer had long since lost the ability to keep anything cold), then placed an ear to it as well
he heard nothing outside the door

everything was quiet.. too quiet..
the kitchen was still empty and whatever was banging at the door had left

suddenly there was a yelp from the doppelganger and gordon spun around to see the dead chef shuffling to his feet

gordon spun to demand to know just what the fuck was going on, but the question never had the chance to escape him
his throat constricted in fear
the lookalike's eyes were blank-not emotionally, just completely white, as though no iris had ever been there
"you're next" he croaked

in a panic, gordon unlocked the freezer door and attempted to exit, but the door wouldn't budge
he rammed against it with his shoulder
but still it wouldn't open

finally, the door swung open and gordon fell to the floor. he scrambled to his feet and ran from the kitchen and through the dining room
the banging was back, but this time it was on the outside of the restaurant door. whatever had wandered off had locked itself out
gordon figured he'd try his luck with whatever the hell was outside

so he unlocked the door and stepped out into the sunshine

only to be faced with
HUGH LAURIE
"hey i just came by to see how your thing was thinging" said hugh
furious, gordon punched hugh laurie in the nose

it was truly a kitchen nightmare

or was it?

DUN DUN DUNNNNN