A/N: I haven't written in a very, very long time. XD This is my first fanfiction since Broken Memories, which I've decided to discontinue. It's just been too long.
But anyway, this song reminds me A LOT of Mello and Matt. Maybe it's just because I've been listening to it while reading fanfics about them and it's gotten stuck in my head that way, but oh well. So I suggest listening to it while reading this. (:
Song: The Ocean - Mae
Pairing: MelloxMatt
PoV: Matt's – 1st person
Rated: T for language and sexual references
Warnings: LOTS OF SPOILERS!!! As well as Yaoi! Click back if both of those things make you cringe!
Disclaimer: I do not own Mello or Matt or Death Note, as much as I wish I did. ):
The Ocean:
Am I alone in this?
Never a night where
I can sleep myself till day
We must try to figure it out
Figure it out
It won't be that easy
We lost it somehow
God, I still can't forget that day you left.
I've never felt so betrayed in my life. Because of you. After you slammed the door in my face, I don't think I was ever the same again.
It sunk in eventually; you were gone. I didn't believe it at first. I told myself you'd be back by morning.
I didn't sleep.
You didn't return.
And I finally broke down. But since then, my tears have run dry, I'll have you know.
But I never stopped thinking of you.
You come over unannounced
Silence broken by
Your voice in the dark
I need you here, tonight
Just like the ocean
Needs the waves
It's years later. I've changed, I've moved on. It didn't take long for me to leave Wammy's, just like you had.
But I wasn't a fucking drama queen about it. I was sixteen, there was no point for me to stay anymore. Near was leaving, too.
Roger let me go without a fuss, and before long, I got myself a place. Shabby, but nice. I had some money, a pack of cigarettes in my pocket and a gameboy in my hand. I was fine.
I don't quite know when it happened, but eventually I didn't think about you as much. You weren't the spotlight of my dreams, you didn't haunt my mind like you used to.
I even got myself a girlfriend. You never thought I'd be capable of it. I was too much of a loner, that's what you used to say.
Well, maybe it's true, too, because it didn't take long for her to leave me, too.
But that's when you came.
And turned my world upside down all over again.
Oh, the night becomes the
Space that's somewhere in between
What I feel and what I'm taught
Sitting on the shoreline
Trying to figure it out
Figure it out
To find out the meaning
And reach it somehow
Hot breath against my neck, a nibble on my ear, a desperate kiss. We were all over each other.
We were moving like poetry, a tangled mess on my sheets. Your lips attacked mine again, and I responded with glee.
It was almost like these past few years never happened; like we had been together all along. I never realized how broken my heart had been until I saw you that day. You were left to pick up the shattered remains and glue them achingly back into place before I could ever trust you again.
The way we met back up again…was interesting. You kicked my door open and pressed a gun to my head, do you remember? I almost fucking pissed myself, especially when I recognized the blonde hair beneath the hood, those haunted eyes staring back at me, the snap of the chocolate bar under the pressure of your teeth.
"I'm dreaming," I remember whispering, and slowly, your gun fell away. I couldn't read your face as you pulled me into your arms.
For the first time since you left me, when I was young, crumpled and broken on the ground, I was crying.
You come over unannounced
Silence broken by
Your voice in the dark
I need you here, tonight
Just like the ocean
Needs the waves
We laid together in silence, simply holding each other. I was almost asleep against you.
"Mail."
I didn't look up, only gave a soft grunt in response. My eyes were shut and I was content. It was like time had frozen and it was only us now.
We were the only thing that mattered.
You were the only thing that mattered.
"Mail, I love you," you whispered into my hair, lightly stroking my cheek.
I froze in your arms, and you held me tighter. "I love you." You repeated.
Fall around me now, like
Stars that shine
And brigthen the way
I need you here, tonight
Just like this morning
Needs the rain
I stared at my phone numbly, fingers trembling. You told me you wouldn't text me unless it was an emergency. You didn't want the mafia to know about me, I was fine with that. Honestly, I wish you would just leave them, Mello, but you're too stubborn.
Burn.
That was all the text said, but I knew immediately what you meant.
"I rigged the place with explosives," you had told me, and I had jerked my head up from my game in alarm.
"Are you fucking crazy?"
You had laughed, "It's for just in case, Matt. Just in case."
I waited. Just in case what? But I was silent, because I already knew the answer.
"Just in case Kira finds me," you had said, a little quieter, all trace of smiles gone.
The season has changed, the wind
It moves colder now, colder now
The clouds are raised, the rain
It falls harder now, all around
I didn't hesitate another moment. I was out the door in seconds, cell phone gripped in my hand as I wrenched the door of my car open and fell inside.
Everything was a blur past the windows as I drove at high speed, and before long I threw the door aside and stepped out into the rain.
It was a fucking mess. Everything. The place was destroyed. All that remained was the remnants of the building and a few small fires and a shitload of smoke.
I ran, looking around desperately in every direction. "Mello!" I called, my voice drowned by the rain. I shouted again, and again, nearing hysterics. I saw a twitch of movement a few feet away and spun around.
I was facing you, half buried in the debris. I fell to my knees at your side, and you weakly opened a blue eye to look up at me. You looked like you had been to hell and back…but you were still alive. Oh thank God. Half of your face was covered by your hair and I brushed it aside, my relieved tears mixing with the rain.
And suddenly, you gave a terrible scream of pain.
You come over unannounced
Silence broken by
Your voice in the dark
I need you here, tonight
Just like the ocean
Needs the waves
You didn't move for days.
Jesus Christ, Mello, I was convinced you were fucking dead. All but for that faint heartbeat when I pressed my ear to your chest.
I stayed at your side. I never moved. I stared at the bandages that covered the right side of your face, disguising the twisted scar that lay beneath it.
Strips of white curled along your neck down to your torso as well, and I couldn't imagine the pain of it all. I think I eventually fell asleep, because when I woke up, the room was pitch black.
"Matt," you suddenly rasped, and I flew to my feet in surprise.
"Mello--!" I gasped, but you didn't let me finish.
You blindly reached out, and I took your hand in mine. "Thank you," you whispered.
Fall around me now, like
Stars that shine
And brigthen the way
I need you here, tonight
Just like tonight
It needs the rain
"I'm leaving for New York," you announced to me, only a few weeks after your freak accident.
"But, Mel! You're still recovering," I replied angrily, grabbing your wrist as you started to reach for your bag to start packing.
You smirked at me, that scar twisting with your lips. It was both beautiful as it was horrible. It gave you a new tone, one that I wasn't sure if I liked.
"I know, mom," you sneered, wrenching your arm away. "But recovery'll have to fucking get over it."
"Why do you need to go to New York?" I said finally, knowing I had no chance in arguing with you. I fell back onto the cushions of the couch, watching you.
"Near has my photograph."
Over unannounced
You came back in a rage, the door crashing open while you stomped inside, kicking it shut behind you. "That bastard!"
I waited, sitting on the couch with a handheld loose in my fingers.
"That little fucker!"
"Mel—"
Suddenly, you flicked something at me, and I picked it up from where it had fallen on the ground. I saw your face staring back at me. But it was a younger, careless Mello. Not the one I knew now, the uptight gunman who was always talking about how we were going to die tomorrow.
I felt your eyes on me and looked up through my goggles. You motioned for me to flip the photograph over.
'Dear Mello' was written near the top and I smirked despite myself.
"What's so funny?" You hissed, eyes blazing.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say he has a crush on you. How sentimental. 'Dear Mello,'" I scoffed, tossing the photo aside and picking up my game again.
You stared at me like I was a lunatic. I looked up again, muttering an innocent 'what?'
You simply shook your head and walked away while I laughed.
Silence broken by
Your voice in the dark
"What?" I whispered in shock against your chest.
"I love you," you said for the third time, sounding slightly annoyed at my lack of reply.
"Mel…" I started to pull away to look up at you, but you roughly finished the job, sharply shoving me away from you. You started to climb out of bed and my hand flew out to grab your arm. "Wait," I whispered, and gently pulled you back down.
Although slightly resistant, I got you to lay back down next to me again. I pulled you close and softly pressed our lips together. "Mihael, I love you, too," I whispered after pulling away, only to kiss you again after.
I need you here, tonight
"Matt, I need you to do something for me."
We were sitting on the couch in our new place in Japan, I playing Sonic while you watched the news for any new Kira updates.
I absently reached to run my hand through your hair as I paused my game. "Anything. What is it?"
You frowned around the chocolate in your mouth, not looking at me, but instead out of the window. "I need help kidnapping Kiyomi Takada."
I choked. "What?"
You scowled at me. "You heard me," you snapped back, and I nodded like an idiot.
"Well, yeah, but what's the point of that, Mel?" I thought of how the last kidnapping episode had ended up. That stupid girl's father, Yagami, got Mello's real name. Kira must've known it by now, there was no doubt.
"Just answer the damn question, Matt."
I didn't like this. Normally you wouldn't skimp out on details for me. You knew how much I needed them. This…something about this mission was going to be different, I could feel it.
"Of course I'll help you." Haven't I always?
Just like the ocean
Needs the waves
I was settled in the front seat of my nice, sleek new ride. It was hot and I needed to get rid of it soon. But it would be fine for this one night. I didn't have my own car since we had to fly to get to Japan, so hotwiring one off the street was my next best option.
You told me to wait for your signal, so I sat back and lit up a cigarette, taking a long, calming drag before letting it go again. I was nervous about this one. We had the plan down perfectly, but something just didn't feel right.
Especially when you finally appeared from inside the apartment, strolling over to the car with your helmet tucked under one arm. You approached my side and I waited, rolling down the window all the way as you neared.
"So, we all set, Mello?" I began, but I was cut off as you leaned down and trapped me in a needy kiss.
I leaned out the window as much as I could to kiss back, stubbing my cigarette out on the armrest so I could free my hand to reach out to run through your hair.
So today was different, afterall.
I had been afraid of this.
This was our last goodbye.
Just like the stars
That fall around me now
I sighed, leaning forwards onto the steering wheel to survey the scene beyond the glass. My cigarette hung loose from my lips while I tried to decide what to do. How many damn bodyguards did that woman need? I was completely surrounded, so no choice but to talk my way out of trouble.
"Damn," I muttered as I opened the door and stepped out onto the street.
My boots crunched on the gravel as I moved forwards, arms moving up as a sign of surrender.
I smirked, ready to talk business.
They all had their guns raised, but I wasn't worried. If needed, I had my own down the back of my vest.
"…you won't shoot—" I was finishing, but it was cut short.
All at once, I heard firing, but felt nothing.
I saw the blood before the pain came.
My breath caught in my throat and I stared out with wide eyes beneath my goggles, vision blurring.
For a moment, nothing seemed to happen. I was numb to the pain, it was forgotten, far away…I felt detached from it as I fell back against the car.
Mello.
The cigarette slipped from my lips, and everything went black.
--
Blue eyes watched the small TV placed next to the steering wheel, Mello carefully glancing between the road and the screen as he drove along.
"As for the suspect who was gunned down earlier, we still aren't able to identify him…"
Mello's eyes widened slightly.
"Matt…" He whispered.
"I'm sorry."
A/N: Any good? I kind of like it. (: I seriously never write fics, so it was fun and different for me. ^_^ I'm going to try and get into writing more.
Reviews are your friend! They'll make me want to write more. That is, if you want me to. ;D