DBZ: The Double Date
"I repeat for the last time, woman, I will NOT go on a date with you, Kakarott's mate and Kakarott!" The gravity chamber flickered, then turned dark. "Uh oh... TURN THAT BACK ON!" He realized Bulma couldn't hear him. "Why does she have to be so smart?" he asked himself as he walked out of the gravity chamber.
Meanwhile, at the Son residence, Gohan was taking care of Goten--whom he'd kept at bay with a few caramels for the last hour--and Goku was in his and Chichi's room with Chichi, getting dressed. Chichi held up a pink dress with white ribbons on it. "This one?"
Goku shook his head. "Too Snow Whiteish. Just cause you're prettier than her doesn't mean that you have to dress like her."
Chichi narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What do you want, Goku?"
Hot sweat rolled down his face, he wiped it off with their bedspread--causing a large discolored area to appear where their feet normally were. Chichi made a mental note to sleep in a fetal position tonight. "Ummm..." he replied, "how does this look?" In a flash he was dressed in a crisp white shirt, some black slacks, and was holding a coat over his shoulder. A bowtie set off the combination well.
Chichi gasped. "Goku! You look stunning!"
Goku blushed. "It was just something I stumbled upon in Ox King's closet clear out."
Chichi laughed. "It fits you well."
Goku pulled a red sequin dress out of her closet and a pair of red high heels. "This... try it."
Chichi pulled on the dress and stepped into the heels. "Oh... Goku... I don't look good in this dre... Goku?"
Goku was staring. The dress--one which Chichi'd never worn, looked great on her! "You look... fantastic, Chichi!"
She took a second look in the mirror. "Are you sure...?"
Vegeta held the car door open for Bulma. She was wearing the green dress she'd worn at the Tenchaiki Boudaki where Gohan had won just last week. Vegeta, needless to say, was staring at her. "She looks good in that dress..." drool dripped from his mouth; "really, really good..." He was wearing his Badman shirt with the top two buttons unfastened and a pair of blue jeans, finishing off with a pair of Air Jordans. (I guess they're expensive, and hey, he IS a billionaire!) He got in and started up the car, then headed for Kakarott's house.
"I swear to you, woman," said Vegeta as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket, "if this movie is less than entertaining, I wait outside."
Bulma nodded as Vegeta paid for four tickets. "Fine with me."
"Marcia, I'm sorry, I must go!" said the man on the screen. Vegeta snickered and turned to look and see if anyone else found Broken Hearts and Young Lovers as hilarious as he did. Bulma was sobbing, Chichi was moaning into a wad of tissues and Kakarott was sniffling. "SHUT THIS INFERNAL RACKET UP OR I'LL BLAST YOU ALL TO HFIL!" roared Vegeta as he flew into the air and powered up to SSJ2!
Goku calmly pulled Vegeta back down to his seat, still sniffling. "Crying is what people do at these kind of movies." He blew his nose. "Except for the two of us, apparently."
Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "Then why are you sniifling?"
"I'm allergic to candy corn, and I get cold symptoms for half an hour after eating one. Once I ate 15 of them. It was catastrophic. I sniffled for 8 hours straight!"
Vegeta stared in utter amazement. Kakarott knew what the word 'catastrophic' meant? Maybe he wasn't as brainless as Vegeta had once thought!
The Red Dragon Restaurant, home of some of the best Chinese food in Satan City, was the next stop. Sadly for our hero (Vegeta of course) he hates Chinese food. Vegeta poked at the chicken and rice on his plate with a chopstick. He was SO hungry! He'd eaten some light sugar covered treat earlier, now that was tasty, he'd had 30. Light, sugary, they resembled biscuits in shape and size. Bulma of course bought the recipe.
Vegeta suddenly got an evil idea. ::Kakarott:: he began telepathically, ::Switch seats with your mate so we can sit next to each other:: He smirked as Goku's eyes opened wide. He could only picture the thoughts flitting through that empty head right now... 'Vegeta wants to sit next to ME? COOL!'
Goku leaned over. "Yeah, Vegeta?"
"Kakarott, as quickly as possible, remove the roses from the vases and hand them to me."
The attention-starved Saiyan did as Vegeta said, and Vegeta quickly removed the thorns. He handed the roses back to Kakarott who replaced them in their glasses. "Pssst... Kakarott, see that waiter?" He held out 8 thorns to Goku. "10 points if you stick one in his head, 25 points for his back, 50 for his rear."
Goku grinned widely. Maybe the game WAS cruel, disgusting, sick and perverted, but hey, it wasn't often Veggie wanted to play a game with him. *PSHWOING!* Goku flicked the first thorn. *PLOINK!* It hit the waiter in the back. "AIEEEEEE!" The waiter screamed in pain and tried to yank it out.
"YEAH!" yelled Kakarott. "TWENTY FIVE POINTS!"
After a long, drawn-out stay at the restaurant, which Vegeta and Goku were banned from for life, much to Vegeta's delight, they went to Fun World. Go-karts, bumper boats, batting cages, pizza, a ball pit complete with 30 foot high slide, skeeball, and other games... it was Goku's dream come true! Chichi wrinkled her nose in disgust and took a nap in the car after pronouncing the place unedifying and uneducational. Vegeta bought 10 slices of pizza and downed them in less than a minute, washing it down with a large Capsule Cola. Goku got a Capsule Cola and headed out to the Go-Kart track, as Bulma rushed around playing car-racing games with teenage boys. Vegeta's eyes lit up as he saw the ball pit and he quickly got in line for the slide.
Vegeta reached the front of the line but the attendant smiled and shook her head. "Sorry, you gotta be at most this tall," she said, motioning to a small pole which was 5 feet tall, at least a foot shorter than the Saiyan no Ouji.
He smirked, then began to stretch the pole until it was 7 feet long, then handed it back to the girl. "See ya!" he rushed up the steps, took a deep breath, then... "WHEEEEEEEEE!"
"So," asked Bulma, "How'd you like the date?"
Chichi cleared her throat. "The food was wonderful. Just plain delicious. I've always been a fan of Chinese food but haven't had any in SO long!" she paused as Bulma smiled then continued. "The movie--it's one of those things where it's not educational--but it was great. I loved it and can't wait for the DVD to come out. Finally..." here eyes narrowed, "that ARCADE. It is an abomination and terrible, no educational value whatsoever. Ridiculous."
Oblivious to the hateful looks Vegeta and Goku were shooting at her best friend, Bulma began her review of the date. "Ok... food was excellent. I bought several of their recipes--don't be surprised if they start having rennovations--I paid good money for those. Then--the movie. Terribly written--plot was ok but they could've had better actors and said less corny things. It was sad though... I guess that's what counts. Finally, I had a great time at the arcade. The racing games are so much fun. What about you, Goku? What did you think of the movie?"
Goku turned to them with a cup of wine in his hand. He took a sip of it, adjusted his eyeglasses, and with a meaningful glance at Chichi, began. "The food... exquisitely prepared. The main course AND the appetizers were delectable and the waiters were wonderful--though the consternation of the one I shot the thorns of a rose into's posterior was very great." He removed the glasses, smashing them in his hand, and with a few quick movements, spiked his hair up with some gel and his hands, then dried it with his ki. "The movie was pathetic, what a fool to go after that loser Marcia, and the ending with them being blown apart by the Korish army was excellent!" All this with a smirk on his face and in a fake British accent. He now put the glasses back on, hair still spiked Veggie-style, and went on a ten minute lecture about how car engines should be tuned to take more strain and how floorboards should be sturdier. By the end of this, Vegeta and Bulma were staring at him.
Chichi had an eyebrow quirked. "Read the dictionary from cover to cover again, am I right?"
"Yep," replied Goku, flashing the famous Son grin. "What about you, Veggie-kun, what did you think, old boy?" he asked him, ruffling the Saiyan no Ouji's hair playfully.
Vegeta resisted the urge to rip Kakarott's arm off and shove it back in handfirst, and calmly replied; the food was disgusting, the movie was repulsive... and... the ball pit." Vegeta got stars in his eyes. "The little kids... they were so nice to me... and... we threw balls at each other and went ball-swimming, and I went down the slide TWICE! And just cuz the kids loved me. I have GOT to go back there!"
The fic ends with a shot of Bulma, Goku and Chichi on the floor, legs straight up, unconcious, and Vegeta standing nearby, staring off into space, drooling.
THE END
"I repeat for the last time, woman, I will NOT go on a date with you, Kakarott's mate and Kakarott!" The gravity chamber flickered, then turned dark. "Uh oh... TURN THAT BACK ON!" He realized Bulma couldn't hear him. "Why does she have to be so smart?" he asked himself as he walked out of the gravity chamber.
Meanwhile, at the Son residence, Gohan was taking care of Goten--whom he'd kept at bay with a few caramels for the last hour--and Goku was in his and Chichi's room with Chichi, getting dressed. Chichi held up a pink dress with white ribbons on it. "This one?"
Goku shook his head. "Too Snow Whiteish. Just cause you're prettier than her doesn't mean that you have to dress like her."
Chichi narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What do you want, Goku?"
Hot sweat rolled down his face, he wiped it off with their bedspread--causing a large discolored area to appear where their feet normally were. Chichi made a mental note to sleep in a fetal position tonight. "Ummm..." he replied, "how does this look?" In a flash he was dressed in a crisp white shirt, some black slacks, and was holding a coat over his shoulder. A bowtie set off the combination well.
Chichi gasped. "Goku! You look stunning!"
Goku blushed. "It was just something I stumbled upon in Ox King's closet clear out."
Chichi laughed. "It fits you well."
Goku pulled a red sequin dress out of her closet and a pair of red high heels. "This... try it."
Chichi pulled on the dress and stepped into the heels. "Oh... Goku... I don't look good in this dre... Goku?"
Goku was staring. The dress--one which Chichi'd never worn, looked great on her! "You look... fantastic, Chichi!"
She took a second look in the mirror. "Are you sure...?"
Vegeta held the car door open for Bulma. She was wearing the green dress she'd worn at the Tenchaiki Boudaki where Gohan had won just last week. Vegeta, needless to say, was staring at her. "She looks good in that dress..." drool dripped from his mouth; "really, really good..." He was wearing his Badman shirt with the top two buttons unfastened and a pair of blue jeans, finishing off with a pair of Air Jordans. (I guess they're expensive, and hey, he IS a billionaire!) He got in and started up the car, then headed for Kakarott's house.
"I swear to you, woman," said Vegeta as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket, "if this movie is less than entertaining, I wait outside."
Bulma nodded as Vegeta paid for four tickets. "Fine with me."
"Marcia, I'm sorry, I must go!" said the man on the screen. Vegeta snickered and turned to look and see if anyone else found Broken Hearts and Young Lovers as hilarious as he did. Bulma was sobbing, Chichi was moaning into a wad of tissues and Kakarott was sniffling. "SHUT THIS INFERNAL RACKET UP OR I'LL BLAST YOU ALL TO HFIL!" roared Vegeta as he flew into the air and powered up to SSJ2!
Goku calmly pulled Vegeta back down to his seat, still sniffling. "Crying is what people do at these kind of movies." He blew his nose. "Except for the two of us, apparently."
Vegeta narrowed his eyes. "Then why are you sniifling?"
"I'm allergic to candy corn, and I get cold symptoms for half an hour after eating one. Once I ate 15 of them. It was catastrophic. I sniffled for 8 hours straight!"
Vegeta stared in utter amazement. Kakarott knew what the word 'catastrophic' meant? Maybe he wasn't as brainless as Vegeta had once thought!
The Red Dragon Restaurant, home of some of the best Chinese food in Satan City, was the next stop. Sadly for our hero (Vegeta of course) he hates Chinese food. Vegeta poked at the chicken and rice on his plate with a chopstick. He was SO hungry! He'd eaten some light sugar covered treat earlier, now that was tasty, he'd had 30. Light, sugary, they resembled biscuits in shape and size. Bulma of course bought the recipe.
Vegeta suddenly got an evil idea. ::Kakarott:: he began telepathically, ::Switch seats with your mate so we can sit next to each other:: He smirked as Goku's eyes opened wide. He could only picture the thoughts flitting through that empty head right now... 'Vegeta wants to sit next to ME? COOL!'
Goku leaned over. "Yeah, Vegeta?"
"Kakarott, as quickly as possible, remove the roses from the vases and hand them to me."
The attention-starved Saiyan did as Vegeta said, and Vegeta quickly removed the thorns. He handed the roses back to Kakarott who replaced them in their glasses. "Pssst... Kakarott, see that waiter?" He held out 8 thorns to Goku. "10 points if you stick one in his head, 25 points for his back, 50 for his rear."
Goku grinned widely. Maybe the game WAS cruel, disgusting, sick and perverted, but hey, it wasn't often Veggie wanted to play a game with him. *PSHWOING!* Goku flicked the first thorn. *PLOINK!* It hit the waiter in the back. "AIEEEEEE!" The waiter screamed in pain and tried to yank it out.
"YEAH!" yelled Kakarott. "TWENTY FIVE POINTS!"
After a long, drawn-out stay at the restaurant, which Vegeta and Goku were banned from for life, much to Vegeta's delight, they went to Fun World. Go-karts, bumper boats, batting cages, pizza, a ball pit complete with 30 foot high slide, skeeball, and other games... it was Goku's dream come true! Chichi wrinkled her nose in disgust and took a nap in the car after pronouncing the place unedifying and uneducational. Vegeta bought 10 slices of pizza and downed them in less than a minute, washing it down with a large Capsule Cola. Goku got a Capsule Cola and headed out to the Go-Kart track, as Bulma rushed around playing car-racing games with teenage boys. Vegeta's eyes lit up as he saw the ball pit and he quickly got in line for the slide.
Vegeta reached the front of the line but the attendant smiled and shook her head. "Sorry, you gotta be at most this tall," she said, motioning to a small pole which was 5 feet tall, at least a foot shorter than the Saiyan no Ouji.
He smirked, then began to stretch the pole until it was 7 feet long, then handed it back to the girl. "See ya!" he rushed up the steps, took a deep breath, then... "WHEEEEEEEEE!"
"So," asked Bulma, "How'd you like the date?"
Chichi cleared her throat. "The food was wonderful. Just plain delicious. I've always been a fan of Chinese food but haven't had any in SO long!" she paused as Bulma smiled then continued. "The movie--it's one of those things where it's not educational--but it was great. I loved it and can't wait for the DVD to come out. Finally..." here eyes narrowed, "that ARCADE. It is an abomination and terrible, no educational value whatsoever. Ridiculous."
Oblivious to the hateful looks Vegeta and Goku were shooting at her best friend, Bulma began her review of the date. "Ok... food was excellent. I bought several of their recipes--don't be surprised if they start having rennovations--I paid good money for those. Then--the movie. Terribly written--plot was ok but they could've had better actors and said less corny things. It was sad though... I guess that's what counts. Finally, I had a great time at the arcade. The racing games are so much fun. What about you, Goku? What did you think of the movie?"
Goku turned to them with a cup of wine in his hand. He took a sip of it, adjusted his eyeglasses, and with a meaningful glance at Chichi, began. "The food... exquisitely prepared. The main course AND the appetizers were delectable and the waiters were wonderful--though the consternation of the one I shot the thorns of a rose into's posterior was very great." He removed the glasses, smashing them in his hand, and with a few quick movements, spiked his hair up with some gel and his hands, then dried it with his ki. "The movie was pathetic, what a fool to go after that loser Marcia, and the ending with them being blown apart by the Korish army was excellent!" All this with a smirk on his face and in a fake British accent. He now put the glasses back on, hair still spiked Veggie-style, and went on a ten minute lecture about how car engines should be tuned to take more strain and how floorboards should be sturdier. By the end of this, Vegeta and Bulma were staring at him.
Chichi had an eyebrow quirked. "Read the dictionary from cover to cover again, am I right?"
"Yep," replied Goku, flashing the famous Son grin. "What about you, Veggie-kun, what did you think, old boy?" he asked him, ruffling the Saiyan no Ouji's hair playfully.
Vegeta resisted the urge to rip Kakarott's arm off and shove it back in handfirst, and calmly replied; the food was disgusting, the movie was repulsive... and... the ball pit." Vegeta got stars in his eyes. "The little kids... they were so nice to me... and... we threw balls at each other and went ball-swimming, and I went down the slide TWICE! And just cuz the kids loved me. I have GOT to go back there!"
The fic ends with a shot of Bulma, Goku and Chichi on the floor, legs straight up, unconcious, and Vegeta standing nearby, staring off into space, drooling.
THE END