Kind of a short chapter just to force myself to post something. Hopefully it interests you.
"You're sure you can handle this?" Maria Hill asked her once they entered the elevator.
"Piece of cake," Natasha shrugged as she slid her ID badge and pressed a button to get to the basement level.
"Natasha," Maria spoke her name in scold like tone and gave her a pointed look to match. "Seriously."
"Seriously?" Natasha raised her eyebrows and sighed. "I'll be fine. It's not me you have to worry about."
"I told you, he's been fully rehabilitated," Maria went on as the elevator stopped and the doors opened.
"So he remembers everything?" Natasha asked, trying not to sound too curious.
"Not exactly," Maria replied as they walked down a stark hallway, passing room after room. "He remembers who he is and has full control over himself, but the rest is still a bit of a jumble."
"A jumble?"
"He says his memories aren't fully intact," Maria explained as they came to a stop in front of an unmarked door. "That he gets bits and pieces when triggered, but has no real power over when they come. Natasha, we wouldn't send him out on a mission if we weren't certain he's not a danger."
"I know," Natasha nodded once, having heard all this back in Fury's office. "I got this," she said assuringly when Maria gave her an unsteady look.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Maria ultimately said. "9am sharp."
Left alone in front of the locked door, Natasha had time to breathe. She'd been so caught up in trying to seem fine with all that was going on, she didn't have time to actually process the information. Shield had fallen. Steve Rogers was off the grid, not in contact with anyone, herself included. Nick Fury was trying to rebuild, but so was Hydra.
That's why this mission was so important. Everyone was still scrambling to hold the pieces of what was left together, there was no one left to tend to their special guest. She'd just been informed that the Winter Soldier had turned himself in months ago, soon after the incident on the hellicarrier.
According to Fury and Hill, he asked to be put in a jail where he couldn't hurt anyone. This surprised them, but not Natasha. When she knew him, he was nothing if not mindful of others. Of course no one else knew about their time in the Red Room besides her. She wasn't even sure if he knew.
Truthfully she was still undecided on whether she wanted him to remember her or not. On the one hand, he was her first love and they'd shared something indescribable, but on the other, any time she thought of him she felt a swell of pain surge through her whole body.
No one else had that affect on her.
If he did remember, he'd kept his mouth shut about it to her superiors otherwise they wouldn't allow them to be paired together. It was a low level mission with minimal risk, unusual for her but a good way for Shield to see if he was truly reformed.
Fury took pride in her ability to be comfortable with any and all circumstances, now wasn't the time to disappoint in that area. Telling anyone about their past would only bring up unnecessary questions.
She was professional, and could put her mixed feelings towards him aside. Yet here she stood, unable to get herself to open the door.
She shut her eyes as her mind played tricks on her, flashing between memories of the winter soldier trying to kill her on the streets of Washington D.C. and a fading memory of the way his metal hand felt on her skin as he ran it along her naked back.
She shook her head clear, telling herself to rein it in. Forcing herself to steady her breathing, she put a hand on the doorknob, swiped her ID badge and opened the door. It swung open slowly and she stepped inside, the man she'd fallen in love with all those years ago sat still on the single bed in the corner.
She wasn't prepared for the way her heartbeat sped up when he looked up at her, the clear blue of his eyes icier than she remembered.
"Sergeant Barnes," she cleared her throat, trying to sound as professional as she hoped she looked. It was the moment of truth for her. Did he or didn't he remember her? Remember the brief moments of bliss they brought each other in a lifetime of despair.
"Natalia," The tone in his voice paired with the name he couldn't have known gave her her answer.
This wasn't going to be easy.
Future chapters will be longer and hopefully better. This story will be multi-chapter and a mix of present day and past flashbacks. Please be kind.
I don't mind if you don't feel like commenting, but I hope you do. And if you do, I hope you're not cruel.