Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, these belong to that wonderful author JK Rowling and the various publishing companies used to publish her works. I am however borrowing them, no not to make money but for fun and fun only. Only JK Rowling, her publishers, Warner Brothers and who JK Rowling says can make money and she has not given me permission for that, so no I do not make money off this, again it is for fun! Summary: The good folks of the Harry Potter world would like to say a few words. One soapbox, several students and staff of Hogwarts and details about people's lives come forward. We will start with Severus Snape as he deserves the honor. Severus Snape has had enough of all the rumors and out-right lies about his life. So he decides to set things straight. Here he is the honorable Severus Snape (smirk) (writer gets death glare from Snape) Gee get a since of humor professor Snape, so anyway here he is:
Hello, you may know me as Professor Severus Snape from a few books out there. While I delight in the fact that someone wished to write about myself and a certain annoying brat I wish to set the record straight.
1. I am not nor have I ever been in love with Lily Evans. She and I were friends, I loved her but was not in love with her. I do not like the idea I was cast as a love struck fool in the last book.
2. It has come to my attention that some people think I was harsh with Harry Potter. That I had no idea how he grew up. This is not the case, I felt I was fair and actually nice to the little brat. I wished him to be like his mother not his irresponsible father.
3. Hermione Granger is a great student, but she is annoying. I do not care for annoying children and no I will not ever fall in love with her. Or marry her or anything else with her!
4. I am not gay, I will never be and though I can be in the same room with him I do not care for Sirius Black! He is an insane wicked man who delights in torturing innocent people!
5. Remus Lupin is a friend, an annoying one because he is Gryffindor but still a friend, nothing more.
6. My favorite students were Fred and George Weasley, they were my brightest and best, too bad my classes were the only ones that they studied in.
7. Draco Malfoy is my godson yes, his father is in fact my oldest and dearest friend. Draco Malfoy knows what the back of my hand feels like on his backside.
8. I actually like lemon drops, don't tell the headmaster this.
9. I had a happy childhood, my father though a strict God-fearing old fashioned man was a good father. He never beat me, or hurt me and in fact we were very close until he died.
10. I joined the dark lord to save the lives of those I love, not for power and glory.
11. I was a fool and unwise to do so.
12. I do wash my hair and have good teeth and excellent hygiene thank you so very much.
13. I like black because it goes with everything. It makes me look intimidating.
14. Yes I do love to scare first years, no that is not going to change.
15. Yes it is true about noses and certain body parts.
16. I could not and would not kill Albus Dumbledore even if he can be an annoying old man!
17. That having been said I would not stupidly waltz into the shrieking shack to meet the dark lord. I nearly died there once, I in no way wish to end my life there.
18. I hate Bellatrix Lestrange, I have never and will never have sex with her.
19. Though I love Narcissa I would never betray my friendship with her or Lucius by having a tryst with her.
20. I actually do not think myself that bad looking of a man. I have the girlfriends to prove it.
So that is it, I hope that helps. If not then I really don't care you silly person! Now go away you are annoying me!