What Makes Us Human

by sparroet

Feliciano is alone. That's why he does this, really. au where Ludwig is an android, and Feliciano his creator.

Feliciano was alone. That's why he did this, really.

Feliciano Vargas knew, from the moment F2501 blinked its optics, it was different. The program was lucrative, and emotional boundaries of the subjects had been considered before, but never implemented to form such a being as this. F2501 was not only the program's master creation, it was Feliciano's personal accomplishment, as a rather emotional man himself, to shed some light on the androids' programming. And really, F2501 was perfect in every which way from the moment it activated. Or so he believed.

As most androids naturally were, it was inquisitive. Androids, whose final goal was ultimate knowledge, had the whole world at their fingertips and consistently hunted down more, more, more, until their systems crashed or they were repurposed. Few produced at this laboratory ever required repurposing, as changes and upgrades allowed them to seamlessly smooth out system bugs. F2501 was no exception to this, as such careful planning and programming and even the sculpting of it was perfect, replicating an athletic, well polished adult male seamlessly. The optics were still a bit unnaturally blue, but such was the trademark, he supposed, that the pigment of the optics was really secondary and any color they wished could go there. So this electric blue was far from eccentric, and did very well at promoting aesthetic quality of F2501. Feliciano was proud, perhaps, of his company's advancements in the technology, to the point where he did not consider failure.

The company had developed such perfect models, mimicking perfectly the human anatomy and systems, with tweaks here and there for higher efficiency and processing, and a thousand computer chips was certainly a relevant substitute for the human brain. They had the finest system available and a near one hundred percent success rate, leading of course, to high turnouts and further innovations. 2501 was a rounded estimate, to show F2501 as first in its class, but the number was fairly accurate of how many test models they'd had in their century-long history, a testimony to their incredible prowess. Feliciano's model was only the newest in a long line of proud machines.

A baby, really. That's what it was.

Strange as it was to Feliciano, he had never quite considered the implications of his own project's completion. Yes, he had worked on other projects before, but none that were his own design, his baby, perhaps, since it was "born" with a comprehension far beyond his own of all tangible, but could not understand humans themselves or social cues. All of which was about to change.

F2501 was a Greek Adonis, to be perfectly candid. Feliciano couldn't have chosen a better model for its shape and toning, nor a palate more pleasing for its straw-blonde hair. Trivial matters, of course, in the long run, but pleasing nonetheless.

So the mechanical man awoke.

It blinked restlessly, no doubt sorting out program upon program upon lines of code to find a protocol, before addressing Feliciano directly. "What is your designated service provider and input value."

It was flat, a question lacking emphasis of any sort. Feliciano shook his head in small laughter. Baby indeed. Yet a supple baritone voice had been selected, and it quivered a little, still trying to place Feliciano in a subcategory of beings like itself.

"Try homo sapiens, as for my input value, I suppose you meant my name?"

Feliciano giving the machine a moment to search its database, lips flicking upward the tiniest bit when it seemed to have hit a match. All good signs.

"Yes, homo sapiens, what is your name?" This carried more of a questioning tone, to which Feliciano assumed it had found the new chips, and was already utilizing them.

Feliciano giggled at the curious little thing, "My name is Feliciano."

"Feliciano," it repeated, blinking its optics in confusion, "That is an Italian name. Do I have a name?"

Feliciano smiled, "Yes. Sort of. You were designated F2501."

"F2501? That is not a name."

"No, not really," Feliciano replied meekly, "But it's what you are called. Did you want a name?"

The thing blinked again, sitting up slowly on the service table to end up on Feliciano's eyelevel, "My database indicated names are assigned at birth. How would I obtain a name, if I was not assigned one already?"

"Names aren't always given at birth. You may choose one if you want."

"Choose?"

"Yes, did you want one?" Feliciano inquired, "You can pick a country to begin with."

"A country?" The android blinked again, and in a funny way Feliciano found its curious blinking adorable, "I have elected," it began carefully, "To use a name from Germany. Ludwig. That is my name."

"So have you also elected to designate as…male, perhaps?"

Ludwig's processor whirred as it sought out a database. "No. I cannot obtain gender. I am Ludwig."

Feliciano sat himself heftily at the end of the service table, "Very well Ludwig. What am I to call you then?"

"Ludwig. That is my name. I do not require another title to function."

"I suppose not," Feliciano marveled at the intelligence ey displayed.

Ludwig's integration with eir other functionalities and software was a little more seamless, as eir programming took care of many of the other odds and ends that the processor core itself didn't need to examine in detail. Ludwig passed eir physical examinations with little to no issue, proving ey could recognize colors and numbers and letters, and had full control of eir fine motor skills. It was still incredible to Feliciano how eir rubber and elastic barely wrinkled, and eir movement's remained smooth, although it was Feliciano himself who had designed this.

Ludwig checked out of the facility at 1400 hours that afternoon, following patiently behind Feliciano to begin eir training program from within a home and community. Feliciano mentioned that he wasn't much of a socialite, but he'd at least take Ludwig to a museum and shopping center, heaven knows if ey'd need to visit those ever again. Ludwig gave eir curious little blink again, and the corners of eir lips turned up.

Really, Feliciano was having a hard time marking down anything wrong with Ludwig on his sheets, save that Ludwig was a little timid, which was hardly surprising on eir first day. Until of course, Feliciano settled down to go to sleep.

"Where should I stay?" The android inquired, eir electric blue optics lighting up a small portion of the room, "Am I also to lie down in the bed with you? My database indicates this is called cuddling. I would not want to cuddle without your explicit consent."

"No, you ought to just power down for the night downstairs. Maybe plug yourself into the wall if you plan on staying up all night. Just don't stay in here."

"Why not?" Ludwig asked, very softly, eir voice barely traveling across the room, "Won't you be lonely? It says in my database loneliness is caused by being left or alone. I would not want you to be sad."

Feliciano threw a hand over his forehead dramatically, sighing, "Would you even know what sadness is? Or loneliness? Can you really pinpoint that?"

"Yes," ey whispered again, "It's when it hurts inside your mind. When your brain is hurt, it makes your whole body hurt. And it can't be fixed with a band aid or gauze. You seem sad. I don't want you to be. You're not alone anymore."

Feliciano huffed, "Your new sensors let you know too much. You can stay."

Ludwig sat, eir back leaning against the side of Feliciano's bed, "Don't worry. I'll stay here all night to keep the loneliness away. You needn't fear."

"I wasn't," Feliciano mumbled, though he slept the soundest he had in several years that night.

Ludwig did as ey had promised, and was still sitting by the side of Feliciano's be when he awoke, the blonde android humming a soft lullaby tune. "It's for making children go to sleep and have sweet dreams. I found it very appropriate. But today is a new day. You must not be sad today. I will help you."

Feliciano nodded, and Ludwig took that as a sign of encouragement. Ludwig aided Feliciano through his morning, cooking a breakfast of authentic German pastries (It suits the name, Feliciano) ey'd downloaded while watching Feliciano take care of himself in the bathroom (which was very inappropriate, Feliciano muttered, but he supposed Ludwig had to learn sometime). Ey'd then got the mail and fed the cat for Feliciano, in addition to dusting everything several times, until ey seemed satisfied Feliciano would not catch ill.

"Really," Feliciano muttered, "Well anyways, you're scheduled to come back into the facility on Monday of next week, giving us about seven days to make sure you have no fatal flaws. And explore as much of the human world as you care for, as long as you can blend in."

"Are you going to accompany me?"

"No," Feliciano muttered, not meeting eir eyes, "I'm needed elsewhere. I haven't had a week off in ages. Besides, your programming sends out progress logs to both my computer and the company's. You'll do fine."

Ludwig blinked, "No. I don't want to."

"What do you mean you don't want to?" Feliciano spluttered, "It isn't an option. You need to go out as part of your test run. Your programming should be overriding your inhibitions…"

"But I don't want it to. I'm worried about you. I must stay and help."

"That's not..! How?"

"How what?" Ludwig's cyan blue optics blinked, focusing on Feliciano's face, like ey was reading him.

"How are you able to just override the program? It's not a good sign." Feliciano's face fell even further, "We haven't even gotten to the most important tests, and you're already failing."

"I fail to see how I am failing. My processor prioritizes caring for humans over taking orders from one. You clearly are in need of care."

"But overruling me – your creator?! I don't need any care," Feliciano tried desperately to keep his voice calm; he'd come too far over the past years to watch his project crumbling before his eyes.

"You need to relax," Ludwig stated quite simply, "Sit down and I will make tea, a common drink for sick humans. You should sleep more."

"This isn't - fine. Fine. Show me what you can do. I can't even bring myself to care anymore – I've failed. It doesn't matter how badly. I just-," Feliciano broke off here, choking back a small sob, "It'd just. It'd just be nice you know? If you were perfect so my life's work was complete and maybe then you know. Someone else would come along and recognize what I've given up for this and say to me that they're proud and they - and they…care."

"I care." Ludwig said firmly, shooing Feliciano in the direction of his living room sofa, "And I say you need to sleep and relax and you'll feel much better."

Feliciano couldn't say no, and he felt all the better after a day off.

"Tomorrow…tomorrow you promise you'll go out and perform your scheduled tests, right?" He whispered, begging really.

"If you don't need me," Ludwig replied nonchalantly, delicately balancing a stack of books on one digit, as ey'd decided to rearrange Feliciano's entire bookshelf in alphabetical order by author.

"What I need," Feliciano enunciated, hoping to make things explicitly clear, "Is for you to perform those tests, regardless of how well I am feeling."

"What is my purpose?"

"I beg pardon?" Feliciano was shocked, "When did you become so self-aware?"

"I mean," Ludwig began, not taking eir eyes off The Picture of Dorian Gray, as ey slid the worn leather book into the 'W' section, "If I'm not meant to care for you, why is it so prominent in my program? I've been alive for three days, and I care about a lot of things already. I read some of these books because the title interested me. Dorian kills his friend Basil. Heartlessly. I think I have what you call a heart and if I'm not meant to use it to care about humans and to not have an ugly soul hiding behind the portrait of my face, what is it for? Because I can feel, I can become more than heartless. I want to. For you."

Feliciano scowled, "If you wanted to do anything for me, you'd obey me. You can't have a soul. The point is for you to make educated decisions without a human there and without relying on hard logic fact, not to have you question my authority."

Ludwig seemed distraught, "What do you mean I can't have a soul?"

"You're simply not human. You're my design. And I made you to think when I'm not there, not to think as a human does. There's a key difference. You're kind. You've got good intentions. But that's not what you were made for."

"Oh." Ludwig did not reply after that, excusing emself from the room.

Ludwig did not reappear for many hours, and Feliciano found em later, powered down by Feliciano's bed, hugging eir knees. He tapped at a few keys on his computer, and Ludwig's optics flew open, blue lights coming on behind the glass eyes. Ey looked around for a moment, before turning around so eir back was facing Feliciano, and immediately powered off again. Touchy little thing. Feliciano tapped several more keys, forcing the android to turn back on. Ludwig seemed rather angered by that.

"What do you want?"

Feliciano sighed, "Just for you to listen to me. Just perform your tests. Why are you so moody?"

"I'm not moody," the android sniffed, "I'm upset because you called me soulless and…it makes my processors….hurt. Like I'm sad but my whole body is sad and I want to shut down for a very long time. It hurts. Feliciano, what makes us human? Why can I feel and think if I'm not meant to be one?"

Feliciano bit his lip, "Being human…isn't really like your philosophers are saying. You may have a similar mental capacity, but you'll never be human. You were simply made in a lab out of vinyl and rubber and plastic and so, so many cables and codes. You were made by man, for man, the same as any other android. Not really for the purpose of solely being. You have to understand; it's simply your role."

"I don't want it to be. Leave me alone if all you care about is the stupid tests. I just wanted to make you feel better. And you've made me feel awful."

So Feliciano left with a sigh, allowing the android to power down, but before he did, asking, "Tomorrow, right?"

Ludwig did not reply, and ey would not for the rest of the week. Feliciano could not bring himself to pity the android, not when he felt he had lost so much. He felt a gentle twang, a tiny voice that said Ludwig didn't deserve it, Ludwig had cared about him, he wouldn't be alone any longer, but he soon gave it up, letting Ludwig lie as ey was.

Feliciano had to return Ludwig to the lab that very Saturday. It was not something he looked forward to, but somehow, he'd gotten Ludwig to agree. Feliciano nodded to his superiors as they passed. They had already received the reports, and knew what Feliciano was about to do. Feliciano guided Ludwig back to the table where ey was born, urging em to sit down.

Ludwig found emself unable to move from the table, Feliciano clicking several keys on a screen to his right, forcing a compartment on Ludwig's chest to eject.

"Feliciano, Feliciano. I'm not scheduled for maintenance. What are you doing? I would have an alert if I needed this."

Feliciano did not meet eir eyes, "I know, that's because your maintenance sensor is broken. I'm going to fix it."

"You're killing me," Ludwig made a half choking noise, "Aren't you?"

"No. It's just standard maintenance procedure."

"You're lying," the android whispered, eir voice tired, defeated by the prime directive tying em to the service table, no matter how desperate ey was to escape. Feliciano saw fear there, real fear and hurt and the sting of betrayal, but mostly fear.

Feliciano smiled softly, pulling the chip gently from Ludwig's chest, watching the sharp electric blue eyes fade into black, "I know, dear, I know."

Feliciano was left alone.