A/N: Okay, this idea came to me when my friend me the story of her epic battle with a cockroach at lunch, and I decided it was so epic that it had to be written, Hetalia style!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or Febreeze
It was a normal night at China's household.
If you excluded the fact he had four other family members sleeping over.
Taiwan, Hong Kong, South Korea, and Japan were all spending the night.
After a day of karaoke, war paint, firecrackers, explosions, and a wok, everyone was worn out.
But Japan was wide awake for some reason.
And he was bored.
His laptop and its charger was downstairs, and he thought it would be a simple task to just sneak down, grab the electronics, and run back up.
So, as he reached the stair landing he thought his eyes were deceiving him at first.
Something moved.
He focused his eyes on the object until it moved again.
It was a giant cockroach.
The Japanese nation nearly screamed out loud, but bit his tongue, he didn't want to wake up the others. Instead, he carefully walked right around the insect with his ninja skills, then ran down the carpeted stairs as fast as possible.
First things first, he gathered his laptop and charger. Maybe he could just sneak around the bug?
No.
If he left it alone and it crawled up the stairs then it could enter the bedroom and...
It had to die, there was no other option.
He would fight until his last breath until he finished it.
Setting his things down, Japan rushed to the garage and grabbed the nearest chemical bottle, then ran back to the stair landing. He stood on the step, with the spray bottle ready, waiting for the insect to move so he'd know where it was.
Then, surely enough, it did.
Towards him.
Without thinking he jumped back (and thankfully landed on another step) as the cockroach crawled towards him.
It was attacking!
He had to make his move now, so the Japanese nation squeezed the handle on the bottle and began to douse the bug with whatever was inside it. After a few more sprays the creature didn't show any signs of dying, and crawled forwards some more.
Not wanting to be touched by the creature Japan ran off the stairs, and towards the living room so he could think of a different plan.
How come it didn't die?
Just now, it occurred to Japan to try checking the label of the bottle, so he did.
Apple cinnamon scented Febreeze.
Of all the poisons he could've grabbed, it was apple cinnamon scented Febreeze.
What the hell? No wonder the cockroach wasn't dying!
Because the smell of fresh baked apple pie was definitely an effective way of killing.
Or maybe it was because he wasn't using enough.
Japan silently moved back towards the stairs, just as the cockroach crept down the final step.
Now or never.
The nation unscrewed the very full Febreeze bottle and dumped its entire contents on the bug. He ignored the pungent smell and watched as it twitched for a moment, but then continued to advance.
Japan panicked, he was out of ammo!
No, stay calm, there has to be something else.
He backed away, then his foot brushed against something.
Taiwan's shoe.
Should he...?
But it was her shoe...
She wouldn't want bug guts on it...
But maybe if it was for the greater good?
No, it was still wrong...
But what if she was the one who woke up with a cockroach in her face?
Then it would be his fault for not using her shoe...
She could always wash it off...
He made his decision.
Japan grabbed the shoe and brought it down on the bug a few more times than necessary.
The indirect contact still made him feel squeamish, and just to be safe he backed a few steps away.
Was it dead?
He lost sight of it.
He checked Taiwan's shoe.
It was clean.
No...
At that moment, the nation looked down and he could've sworn that insect had a freaking TROLL FACE plastered on its exoskeleton.
And it was just about to touch his foot.
Japan screamed, forgetting about the sleeping nations upstairs, dropped the shoe, and ran with speed that would make Italy proud.
How could it not be dead?
Well, they always say the third time's the charm...
He needed one last plan.
One that would destroy the troll once and for all.
Then he had an idea.
First the nation checked the floor around the stair landing, sure enough it was beginning to crawl down the hallway. Then, he ran into the nearest bathroom, grabbed one of the rugs, and ran back to where it was.
This was it.
The nation dropped the rug on the insect and began to stomp on it like a crazed savage.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
After he was sure that was enough, he picked up a corner of the rug, and felt satisfied when he saw guts plastered to the fabric, then he moved it back to the bathroom and in its rightful place.
With that, the nation confidently grabbed his laptop and charger and walked upstairs.
The next morning China wondered why the hell his house smelled like cinnamon sticks, while Japan inwardly smiled.
The others didn't have to know...
What happened last night was between him, Febreeze, Taiwan's shoe, and a bath rug.
This wasn't exactly how it happened, BUT IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH.