Chapter Two – Showmance and Romance
"Wait. What's four times three?" Brittany held up her math homework for Santana and I to see. "Twelve." Santana said. "Q. Santana. Get William Schuester, now." Coach Sylvester walked by us, wearing a red track suit. "I need to talk to him about a little show choir rule." I nodded in agreement. "You got it Miss Sylvester."
Ms. Emma Pillsbury, the guidance counselor, and Mr. Schuester were obnoxiously flirting in the outdoor area of the school. Santana and I walked up the stairs quickly, our cheer bags laying on our shoulders. "Get a room." Santana remarked at Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury. I smirked and said, "Miss Sylvester wants to see you in her office, Mr. Schue. She doesn't like to be kept waiting." I put a hand on my hip as we walked on by them. Mr. Schue replied, "You got it." He smiled at Ms. Pillsbury and walked away. Ms. Pillsbury's auburn red hair glistened in the morning sun.
First and second period went by super slow. I felt so tired that day. I hadn't gotten any sleep because Coach made us work overtime at practice the day before since we hadn't gotten better at our routine. My eyes couldn't stay open and I wanted to go home and lay in bad all day but I had to be at school. I straightened my Cheerios skirt and walked to Finn's locker. He smiled at me, wearing his red and white football jersey with the number five plastered in the middle. He could tell I was mad because his smiled turned into a why-are-you-bitchy sort of face. "We need to talk." I said. Finn opened his locker cautiously. "Okay..." I rolled my eyes. "We are in line to be the most popular kids in school over the next four years," I started, raising my tone. Finn nodded, "Yeah I know-" I interrupted him saying, "Prom king and queen, homecoming court royalty." It has always been my dream to be prom queen, hopefully next year that will happen. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Rachel the dwarf Berry was eavesdropping on my conversation with Finn. Her locker was five down from Finn's locker. I didn't stop what I was saying, even though I wanted Rachel to get the hell out of there. "I'm not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can express yourself!" I whisper-shouted, referring to the glee club. Finn dozed off, I could tell, and wasn't paying any attention to what I was saying which made me even more mad. When I said that, Rachel cocked her head towards us a little trying to peer in on our conversation. "Look you're making a big deal out of this." Finn bobbed his head around a few times, staring down at me. I smiled in a conniving way. "Okay, let's compromise. If you quit the club..I'll let you touch my breast." I whispered, hoping Finn would say yes. "Under the shirt?" Finn quickly sputtered out. Rachel was getting annoyed now. She looked like she was a member of PETA and was trying to protest a fur coat sale. "Over the bra." I stammered back, annoyed with Finn still. Finn thought for a minute. "No, no. I can't." I scoffed in dismay that he rejected the proposal. "I wanna do glee. I'm really happy when I'm performing." I silently laughed. Happy while performing? I thought. It sounded like bullshit. I sounded disgusted when I said, "People think you're gay now, Finn. You know what that makes me?" I didn't want to say this but I did, "You're big gay beard." The other day, I heard Rick "The Stick" Nelson talking about Finn being "confused" because he was now in the Glee Club. Finn ignored me and shut his locker. "Look. I-I gotta go to class. Okay? Just relax. Everything's gonna work out." He put his black book bag on his shoulder and left my sight.
I turned quickly towards Rachel, angry that she was spying. "Eavesdrop much?" I shouted walking near her. Rachel and I walked towards each other and I could smell her cheap Vera Wang knock-off perfume smelling up the hallway. "Time for some girl talk, man hands. You can sing with him. You can dance with him. But you will never have him." Rachel put her hands in front of her, acting sweet and innocent. "I understand why you'd be threatened. Finn and I have made a connection," she perked her head up, "but I'm an honorable person. I don't need to steal your man." I flared my nostrils. Shut up, I thought to myself, wanting to punch her big Jewish nose. "I have plenty of suitors of my own," She held her cream colored binder in her hand and walked slowly backwards as she said, "Every day Glee's status is going up, and yours is going down. Deal with it." She smiled and turned around not expecting the torture that was coming for her. Puck was behind her carrying an icy blue slushie, tossing it in her face. Rachel opened her beak, horrified at what had just happened. I stood in the distance laughing hysterically at what I watched. "Awesome. Holla!" Puck shouted after he slushied Rachel. The new idea at McKinley was "slushy all of the losers in Glee club at any chance you get" so leave it to Puck to make the first move.
"Quinn, I have some news to give you as president of the celibacy club." Principal Figgins stated. I sat in the brown leather chair in his office, scared as to what he might say. "Rachel Berry would like to become a member of the club and since the McKinley High school board says anyone can join a club.." his accent was hard to understand but I knew this wasn't going so well. "Miss Berry must be allowed to attend all celibacy club meetings as of tomorrow." I took in a deep breath at what I just heard. I would have to be in the same club as..as the Hobbit?! "Wha-" I couldn't even get a word out, I was in shock. Rachel clearly just wanted to be in the celibacy club for one reason and one reason only—Finn. She obviously is in love with him and glee club isn't enough so now she has to come and spend time with him in celibacy club. "Miss Fabray, this is final. She comes to the meeting tomorrow." Figgins slapped his hand on his wooden desk cuing that our talk was over. I walked out looking down at my Adidas Cheer shoes, scuffing the tile floor as I went.
Clank, clank. I hit the jury mallet on the table. Santana and Brittany sat beside me, with the rest of the Cheerios surrounding. "The celibacy club is now in session." I loudly spoke. "Thanks to a school rule that says we have to let anyone join the club," my voice sounded annoying, "we're welcoming a new member today..Rachel whats-her-name." I knew her last name, I just didn't feel like she deserved a proper welcome. Everyone turned to face the nerdy dressed girl sitting alone at the table across from me with her arms crossed. Rachel leaned in towards us. "Where are all the boys?" She questioned, in an anxious tone. I shouted back, "Down the hall. First half hour we seperate, then we come together to share our faith." I continued talking about celibacy rules, what we were gonna do for the first half hour, Rachel looking confused as ever.
The boys were in their part of the meeting, probably talking about random stuff, not talking about celibacy. Finn always told me that was what they always did, but "he didn't agree with it". Back in the Spanish room, where the girls portion of the meeting was being held, we were bored and decided to goof off. No one really tried in celibacy club, I guess you could say. Santana shook her legs back and forth, making her Cheerios skirt flap up and down as she went. Brittany, the other Cheerios and I stared at her skirt smiling. "God bless the perv that invented these." I stated. Rachel sat in the corner frowning at our every move practically. I pointed to everyone and looked around. "Remember the power motto girls," We all recited the motto together, "It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing." We all danced and grinded like sluts, while Rachel just stared. She was probably a closeted lesbian. "Oh yeah! Get it girl!" a cheerleader shouted, watching another Cheerios dance moves.
Fifteen minutes later, it was time to meet up with boys. I grabbed a latex pink balloon and starting blowing it up. I smiled. "Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection." Everyone got together with someone of the opposite sex and got a balloon. Finn and I were together, Santana and Puck, Brittany and Darius, a mulatto kid in our grade, and Rachel's partner was a perfect fit for her, Jacob Ben Israel. He had a major crush on Rachel which it wasn't just any old crush, it was a stalkerish crush. It was actually kind of funny because Rachel hated him. "Now remember, if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry." I stated, walking over towards Finn. We placed the balloon in between us and prepared to do the activity. The goal was to get as close as you could to your partner without popping the balloon. I looked into Finn's big brown eyes, thinking about our future together. Then, I heard Puck and Santana yelling next to us. Puck was trying to make the balloon pop (obviously) and Santana was trying to back away. "Take it! Ah yeah!" Puck shouted, holding on to Santana's cheerleading uniform and grasping on to her. "Stop it! Just stop!" Santana said in annoyance. "Ow!" Then I heard a big pop! "Finn!" I shouted. The balloon in front of us had popped which meant Finn was trying to get to third base. "It must have hit my zipper." He lied. I panicked, looking around. Rachel stopped what she was doing. "You know what? This is a joke." She shared her thoughts aloud. Rachel walked away from Jacob Ben Israel and neared towards the rest of the celibacy club. I looked a little scared, not sure what the Hobbit was going to say. "Did you know that most studies have demonstrated that celibacy doesn't work in high schools?" She sounded professional. Rachel turned towards me and Finn. "Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain. The second we start telling ourselves that there's no room for compromise, we act out." She nodded her head. Everyone around her looked bored and confused. No one gave a shit what she was saying, so why was she bothering? But she continued anyway. "The only way to deal with teen sexuality is to be prepared. That's what contraception is for." I gasped. "Don't you dare mention the 'C' word!" I shouted. Contraception was basically like saying the f word in celibacy club. No one ever used it, because it meant safe sex which is a major no in our club. Rachel stuttered a little bit. "You wanna know a dirty little secret that none of them want you to know?" She geared her speech towards me. Finn looked at Rachel like he knew what she was gonna say. "Girls want sex just as much as guys do." I looked angry and confused now. What was she talking about? Rachel stormed out of the Spanish room. "I-is that accurate?" Jacob Ben Israel asked in a pervy, squeaky voice.
The next day was the moment I had been waiting for for a while. Finn and his dumb glee club were doing a performance at the school assembly. I couldn't wait to see how bad it was gonna be or if it would actually be decent enough to watch without my eyes bleeding out. I know I was being harsh with Finn about the whole thing, but I just couldn't believe he would join such a loser-ish club. No one wanted to be in glee club that's why when Sandy Ryerson was the direction there were three people in it! I sat down on the cherry red bleachers next to Santana and Brittany with Sue in front of us, and the other Cheerios surrounding us. Principal Figgins tapped the microphone on the stage. "Silence, children. Silence. First an announcement. The toilets are broken..again." He said in a monotonous tone. "We are fixing the problem, but let me warn you. There will be zero tolerance for anyone soiling school grounds. We are not going to have a repeat of last year." I looked around at everyone in the gym. They all looked bored out of their minds, so did I. I rested my hand on the chin and watched Principal Figgins introduce the glee kids. "We have a treat for you guys today. Mr. Schuester.." He ushered for Mr. Schue to come on stage. Ms. Pillsbury sat in front of Sue and started clapping obnoxiously. "Yay Glee! Glee kids, hooray!" She said in a sweet tone. Santana, Coach and I rolled our eyes. Mr. Schue leaned in towards the microphone. "Uh hi. Uh, when I went to school here, glee club ruled this place. And we're on our way back. But we need some recruits to join the party. Santana and I smirked. "Now I could tell you all about how great glee is, but, uh, I think I'm gonna let some friends of mine show you instead." He finished his lecture and the red curtain behind him opened, showing six kids wearing blue shirts and jeans. Rachel, of course, had on a jean skirt because she never wore jeans (I don't know why). Get up on this! Ooh baby baby. B-baby, baby. Get up on this! The song "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa was the song that the glee club was singing. Everyone's mouths hung open and their eyes just stared at the glee kids. Their dance moves were completely inappropriate and sexual. It seemed as if they were trying to get a point across. The point was the one Rachel made in celibacy club the other day. "Girls want sex just as I do." I imitated inside my head. What in the world was going on? I looked two rows in front of me and saw Ms. Pillsbury and Principal Figgins dancing in their seats a little. How could you be dancing when this nonsense was going on? It was horrible! It was Finn's solo and he sung like he was nervous or something. I would be nervous too if I had to sing Push It in front of the entire student body. Then, Finn and Rachel starting doing sexual moves with each other which made me super uncomfortable. The song finished after an awkward two and a half minutes. Jacob Ben Israel stood up, his red afro blocking peoples views. "Yes!" He clapped. After a short pause, everyone else stood up as well. Sue and the cheerleaders were the only ones not clapping. We all thought it was the worst thing we had ever seen in our entire lives. "I'm going to complain!" Coach Sue got up from her seat, headed towards Figgins. When I got back to class, all I heard was people talking about Glee's performance and how it was "so racy, but great at the same time!" Give me a break. It was the worst performance I had ever seen, and that included Ashlee Simpson's lip-synching mishap during a concert.
"Santana, Britt, meet me at my locker in 5." I forwarded the text message to my two best friends. Santana immediately responded, "k". Brittany never responded but she came anyway. She probably didn't know how to text me back. "What did you want, Q?" Santana tightened her red elastic in her hair. I paused, trying to figure out what I was going to say. "Okay, you guys might hate me for saying this but..." I scanned their eyes, "We need to join glee club." I spitted my words out. I prayed they wouldn't shun me for the rest of my life for what I had just told them. "Wait, hold up. Quinn..a-are you serious? Did the performance yesterday make your brain turn to goo and make you uncool or?" Santana held up her hands in protest. Brittany just stood there, her face having no expression. "No, listen. Finn and Rachel the Dwarf have something major fishy going on in that glee club, and I have to get in there to find out what is going on between my boyfriend and that-that girl!" I shouted. "Well I think its a great idea. I loved the New Directions." Brittany said, nodding her head. Her bangs bobbed up and down as she did. "Okay, but why? Can't you just ask Finn what's going on..?" Santana asked. I shook my head in disagreement. No way, I thought. I had to join that club. Plus I would get my picture in another part of the yearbook, but that was besides the point. "Look, we don't even have to enjoy it. Let's just join and see what is going on. And who knows? Maybe if we are in the club, everyone will like it. I mean, we are the popular girls, right?" Santana finally shook her head. "Okay. I'm in." We all smiled at each other.
"What song are we gonna sing?" Britt asked, changing the subject. "Dionne Warwick's I Say A Little Prayer. It's perfect for our harmonies." I stated, trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about. Secretly, I actually love to sing. I always wanted to be in the school choir, but McKinley didn't offer one, sadly. The only way to be in choir was the glee club. Santana and Brittany shook their heads and smiled. "Deal." Santana fist pounded me and Britt.
"I have to say, I'm really surprised you guys are trying out." Mr. Schue rested his pen on his butt chin. I smiled, my hands on my hips. Brittany and Santana were on the opposite sides of me. "I'm sure you've read about this in the school paper. Finn and I have been an item for a while now," Actually, five months to be counting, I thought to myself. "So what kinds of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him?" Smirking, I took my hands of my hips and straightened my cheerleading uniform. Mr. Schuester nodded. "Well let's see what you got." He pressed play on the stereo which was laying on the piano beside him. The music to I Say a Little Prayer started playing. "The moment I wake up, before I put on my makeup.." I started of the song, the three of us dancing the choreography we had made up ten minutes earlier. Brittany and Santana were like my backup singers. "...To live without you would only mean heartbreak for me." Mr. Schue clapped when the song finished. I breathed in and out. "Wow. You think you can do that at Regionals?" Mr. Schuester sounded hopeful. I grinned. "Absolutely."
"Let me get this straight. You're joining glee club?" Coach Sue sounds confused. I panicked, sitting in between Santana and Brittany in Sue's office. "I'm sorry Coach Sylvester...but something is going on between Finn and..that thing." I seemed to be shouting a bit. "You saw how it was undressing him with..its eyes. Please don't kick us off the Cheerios." I said, hopeful and almost starting to cry. The Cheerios was the only place where I felt accepted and if I was off the cheerleading squad that meant no more popularity. Coach snapped her finger. "Cease fire on the waterworks. I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna see it. You know, Q? When I first laid my eyes on you I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester." I smiled a little, hoping that was a good thing. "Though you don't have my bone structure." She continued. I was a little confused now, as to what the point of this conversation was. "But it wasn't until this very moment," Sue held her glasses in her hand, "I saw how alike we really are." The three of us sitting opposite of Coach Sylvester looked at each other trying to figure out what she was saying. Sue continued on. "You three are going to be my spies. I need eyes on the inside." Sue pointed to her eyes, finishing her sentence. "We are going to bring this club down from within." Santana and I smirked, knowing this was a great idea. Brittany smiled and danced a little in her seat. I happily smiled. "And I'm gonna get my boyfriend back." A huge grin lit up my face. Santana and Brittany high fived each other behind me. Sue ignored my happiness. "I don't care so much about that." She said in a hushed tone. I made an "oh" type of facial expression. The bell rang, signaling the end of seventh hour, which we had been excused from to talk to Coach. We left her office, happily walking down the hall with our new mission upon our hands. "It's game time," Santana said.