Fist To The Jaw
by Lacrimula Falsa

Disclaimer:I do not own any part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. (I don't own Batman either.) Written for the experience of writing, not profit.

Summary: Sometimes all it takes is a good punch to clear the air. Or to be more precise, a fist to the jaw. Tony Stark would know. One-shot, canon AU.

Warning!: Mention of torture. (Swearing.)

A/N: My first time writing for this fandom, because this plot bunny refused to leave me alone, so… There was this scene on the Hellicarrier where Steve had a go at Tony. This is an AU-version of that scene.


[Tony's POV]

To say that Tony Stark was pissed off was a serious understatement.

Certainly, he wasn't Captain America's biggest fan by default. And yes, there were certainly some daddy issues hiding under that. Okay, not going there right now. But this was just the last straw.

Fury was bitching about Bruce Banner stating the glaringly obvious, and instead of stopping the scientist being bullied, the high and mighty Captain fucking America, fighter for justice and good, was standing on the sidelines of it all like some kind of glorified potted plant.

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?"

Because people please. Banner was suppressing enough anger anyway and there was no sign of him going green.

Rogers shoved his hand off.

"You know damn well why. Back off!"

Oh, grandpa had emotions. Now look at that.

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me." Because really, Spangles was getting on his nerves.

The captain all but scoffed at him.

"Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off…what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Duh.

The look he got for that was plain contempt and disapproval. But it was the pity shining trough that made his blood boil.

Rogers wasn't finished.

"I know guys with none of that worth ten o' you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself."

And that kind of hurt worse than every hit in his suit.

Because obviously, his father's constant disappointment wasn't enough.
Of course the man he had constantly been compared but never measured up to as a child wouldn't approve of him either.

"You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play. To lay down on the wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

Tony wanted to scream and throw something. Or cry. He wasn't sure, really.

But he would be damned if that star-spangled asshole would get a rise out of him. So he did what he did best: snark.

"I think I would just cut the wire." Yeah, because, you know, common sense.

Now the look was ninety percent pity and ten percent why-am-I-putting-up-with-this-again.

"Always a way out. You know you may not be a threat. But you'd better stop pretending to be a hero."

That was when Tony Stark punched Captain America in

the face.

It was absolutely worth it just for witnessing the beauty that was everyone's shocked looks. (Surprising the Black Widow was also certainly a bonus.)

But fuck, did his hand hurt.

"Stark, what the hell?!"

Spangles was getting angry, huh? Well he wasn't the only one who was pissed as hell.

"Shut up. Okay, just shut UP! You think you're so much better than me? That I'm just some kind of rich guy, playing Batman with some fancy gadgets? Well, at least I didn't need some kind of magic juice to be strong. I made all of it myself, with my own two hands. What did you do to become a hero, hm? Become a laboratory experiment? Everything good about you comes out of a bottle. You're just a lab rat, drugged up to the eyeballs on fancy steroids."

Now the super soldier looked furious. Hurts, doesn't it?

The moment Rogers opened his mouth, Tony talked over him.

"No. Now you listen to me. You think this is all some kind of joke to me, don't you? That this is all some kind of game to me? Well, JUST FOR YOUR INFORMATION, carrying a car battery powering the magnet keeping shrapnel out of my heart wasn't fucking funny. Oh and don't try waterboarding at home, you could die. You all think I'm a narcissistic ass, yeah? Well you know what, I was. For a long time. Here, I'll admit it. But you know what, I CHANGED. Or at least I tried. It's easy to be good when you always were. But believe me, it's damn hard when you were an ego-driven dickhead all your life and didn't even give a damn. And then there's people like you. Pure and righteous Captain America. A real superhero. Because a guy hitting baddies with a fancy armoured suit is nice, but what really matters is moral integrity. Never mind that fucking morals will not stop a bullet, but who cares!"

Now Romanoff looked like she was about to step in and he knew he was rambling, but he really didn't give a damn at this point.

"Have you…" Tony made a room-encompassing gesture. "…All of you ever thought about who builds those fancy guns 'n gadgets? Guns, bombs, ammunition? Anyone? Have you…" He turned back towards Rogers. "…Ever thought about who built all those wonderful things you fought the Nazis with, hm? I bet you weren't so much against weapons manufacturers then, were you? All those weapons… Nice when they work, isn't it? Well, for your information, those things were built by people like me.

-Well not anymore, obviously, but still.- So without people like the 'big man in a suit of armour' you, Rogers, would most likely be fucking dead, so deal with it. Not that you're not a goddamn dead man walking anyway."

Finally having exhausted his anger fuel, Tony shut his mouth.

He had kind of expected everything now, reaction-wise.

He had -for the record- not expected for Captain America to extend his hand.

Sorry but…what the fuck?

"Seems I owe you an apology, Stark."

Okay, the FUCK?

"Huh?" Eloquent, Tony, very eloquent.

"I was wrong. You're a real hero after all."

"Uh…" Smooth, champion. Keep it coming.

"You're right. I really thought you were a rich guy 'playing Batman'. But someone who's just into this for the fame and attention wouldn't hold a speech like that. You've got conviction. And you won't stand for someone being judged unfairly. That's everything that makes a hero."

"Uh… All right." Wow, just don't overdo the charm, mister.

Tony managed to shake himself out of his stupor long enough to shake Rogers' hand.

"Not to mention you just had a go at Captain America. That's either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid."

And damn it, had the guy just been sarcastic? Wow.

Before Tony could marvel at Captain America's -so far nonexistent- recently acquired sense of humour, there was a shrill 'beep', coming from one of the computer screens.

He didn't really register what Thor was saying or that Banner was checking the screen, plans and probabilities already running trough his head. There was some squabbling about the Tesseract again, but that was all some kind of background noise at the moment.

He was not preening. Absolutely not.

He didn't need someone's validation for being Iron Man. And certainly not that of an undead World War II superhero who… Oh, who was he kidding.

Tony distantly heard someone say "Oh my god." Then he nearly fell flat on his face when the Helicarrier shook in the wake of an explosion.

Okay, back to superhero business.

He hummed 'The Star-Spangled Banner' as he jogged towards his suit.


A/N: I regret nothing but depriving Bruce of his speech. I had Tony hold one instead. Tell me what you think?