Gilmore Girls; " Hello Mr. Coffee"
On Luke's first date with Lorelai he recalled their first meeting. I took what he said and played it out as a scene, with how I imagine it unfolds. I'm also adding a little tidbit of how one day after their meeting, Lorelai is MIA and Luke visits her house for the first time. In all there are three parts to this, I apologize ahead of time for my bad spelling. Bon appetite!
It was 12:00 PM in the summer and Lorelai entered Luke's Diner. She took in the strange surroundings as she waited to be seated and made a face. Miss Patty, who was sitting at a table in front of her, noticed her odd expression.
Miss Patty: "Lorelai, what is that face for?"
Lorelai: "I've been in this town for eleven years and I've never been here before. It seems like it's a nice place but kinda strange decorating. Did the tools decide to go for a vacation? You know, ran away with the dish and the spoon to Hawaii or something?"
Miss Patty: "What? Oh no, honey… this used to be a Hardware store before the owner died and when he died his son turned the store into a diner,"
Lorelai with a slight grin: "Can he change pants into shorts, too or is this just a hobby?"
Miss Patty looking surprised: "I can't believe you've never been here before,"
Lorelai: "Yeah well living at the Independence Inn and raising a daughter all by yourself doesn't give you much time for sightseeing. The inn is on the opposite side of town from here so Weston's Bakery is closer,"
Miss Patty: "So why are you here today?"
Lorelai: "Oh, I dropped Rory off at school for this summer play they're doing for one of the many events coming up soon, I had a business meeting with an inn owner in Litchfield, I didn't have time for coffee and I'm ready to break into Maxwell's House to steal his stash like Al Capone! Now point out the owner to me!"
Miss Patty pointed to Luke who was running with a plate of food to a table far across from them.
Lorelai couldn't help but snort a small laugh.
Lorelai: "Uh, do the Fashion Police know about him because he would be so thrown into jail for that,"
Miss Patty couldn't help but shake her head in agreement but she wanted to steer Lorelai away from that topic.
Miss Patty whispered to her: "He took his father's death pretty hard. There's no one else in the family besides him and his sister. His sister… well she's…. a little flighty and off centered and she moved away as soon as she graduated, which was not too long after he died; so Luke had to take care of everything. There was also a previous relationship with a woman that went bad. Ever since then he wears that same kind of outfit all the time, lives in the upstairs apartment, barely leaves this place at all and has the worse temper I've ever seen in a man… uh, Lorelai…"
Miss Patty noticed shortly before finishing her explanation that Lorelai was marching up to Luke. Her eyes widened as she saw Lorelai put on a pouty face and clasp her hands together in front of her.
Lorelai: "Hey Mr. Coffee… I want in. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. I NEED coffee! I want it, so give me!"
Luke shot her a look like; "Are you serious?" then turned sharply away in an attempt to look like he shrugged her off.
Luke sarcastically; "Yeah and I want the Metts to win a World Series, but darn my luck…. So sit down!"
Luke then marched away to behind the counter where he removed the coffee pot and returned to the table he was serving. Lorelai looked at the table behind her, where Kirk was sitting and smiled sweetly at him.
Lorelai; "Can you leave so that I can have this table. I have to have a seat… he told me to,"
Kirk shrugged: "Uh sure…"
Luke slammed the coffee pot on the table.
Luke barked: "That's not what I meant! I mean take a seat at an empty table!"
Lorelai lightly slapped her forehead: "Oh…well, in THAT case you should've said it earlier,"
Luke pointed to a now empty table by the window.
Luke: "There, now sit down, leave me alone, and let me serve my customers!"
Lorelai scoffed as she did a "silly walk" over to the table, shouting over her shoulders: "Does Miss Manners know about you because I think she'd die of a heart attack,"
Luke has his arms crossed, glaring at her as she made a scene with her "silly walk" to the table.
Luke groaned: "Well, that would be one less annoying person in the world to deal with,"
Lorelai is now seated and shot him a sweet smile: "Well, I would be less annoying if you took one second to pour some coffee into a cup and place it on my table,"
Luke actually considered it for a second then shook it off with a slap of realization: "There are three people before you who haven't ordered yet, if I gave you coffee I would have to fend them off with my pen,"
Lorelai: "Yes, but I all ready know what I want and all I want is coffee. If you poured me coffee, take their orders and come back; by then I would be done and Mr. Washington would be taking a trip to the register,"
Luke now has one plate of food in each hand and stopped. Then he gained a smarmy look.
Luke: "Just for that, you're waiting you're turn,"
Lorelai shot out of her seat and started following him around the diner, shouting: "That's not fair, I NEED my coffee!"
Luke: "Life's not fair and coffee is BAD for you. You might as well be drinking battery acid with arsenic,"
Lorelai: "Well consider me the Energizer Bunny with a vice against the Easter Bunny,"
Luke: "Would you stop following me and sit down!"
Lorelai: "Nope, not until I get my coffee,"
Luke: "Too bad I guess you'll be here until night then,"
Lorelai: "I guess I'll have to go across the street to pick up my daughter from the school, come back and sit after I tell her to scream and cry when she gets here,"
Luke halted to a stop so fast that Lorelai slammed into his back.
Lorelai: "Brake lights would be good,"
Luke: "You dare make your kid do that to me and I'll throw you out!" he threatened her, staring her down.
Lorelai in her best Scarlet O'Hara impression: "Oh Rhett, I always do appreciate the kindness of strangers throwing out a girl like little old me into the street in front of Taylor and everybody in town,"
Luke walked up to another table.
Luke: "I don't give a damn…. now go sit down!"
Lorelai: "So the diner used to be a Hardware Store owned by your father huh?"
Luke stopped in mid-walk again.
Luke: "What track of mind do you have?"
Lorelai: "I don't know, I lost track of it a long time ago… where's the rim shot when I need it? So the diner used to be a Hardware Store owned by your father, huh?" she repeated.
Luke walked to behind the counter and shouted an order to Caesar, then sharply turned back to see Lorelai.
Luke: "Don't ever go behind the counter! Yes, now go away!"
He then picked up some plates of food from Caesar and walked to a table with it. Lorelai zoomed in behind him again.
Lorelai: "This is an old building, some of the wood is rotting and the paint is starting to chip… he must've loved this place a lot I can tell,"
Luke is now determined not to stop to look at her so he kept serving people while talking to Lorelai.
Luke: "What, that didn't make sense,"
Lorelai: "Yes it does, it's like in the "Velveteen Rabbit,"
Luke: "The what…?"
Lorelai: "Are you serious! You never heard of the Velveteen Rabbit! It's a classic children's book that tons of parents have read to their kids,"
Luke: "My mother died when my sister and I were very little and my father would have rather walked on glass than read a lame kid's story to us,"
Lorelai: "That's sad. It's a great story. So what happened to all of the tools?"
Luke stopped again to look at her like she had just escaped from an insane asylum: "Excuse me, are you nuts?"
Lorelai: "Yes, I'm a caaasheew. But seriously, what happened to all of the tools that were being sold here? Did you sell them all or are they mixed in with the diner, too? Does that mean you cook with hammers and stuff?"
Luke in exasperation: "Yes, that's right; I break eggs with hammers and then scramble them with a screw driver,"
Lorelai gained a giddy look: "Scrambling eggs with a screw driver, huh… DIRTY!"
Luke slammed the plates in his hand onto his customer's table, then stomped to the door holding it open and gesturing.
Luke: "That's it! Don't you have somewhere to be at, like work… like what I'm supposed to be doing right now!"
Lorelai: "Oh, you don't want me to cook TRUST me…. but if you mean MY work… I had a meeting which ended earlier than expected so it's like I have the day off,"
She then closed the door with her foot.
Luke: "Then why are you here bothering me here!"
Lorelai: "Like I said before; "I NEED COFFEE!"
Luke: "Sit down and shut up! I'll get to you when I get to you; which will be in five minutes or leave now and get nothing at all!"
Lorelai stuck her tongue out at him: "Fine, then…" and proceeded to stride back to her table walking like a stuck-up model.
She sat down and watched as people paid and left the diner. Then she was soooo bored that her eyes went to the table next to her where she noticed an old man eating while a folded up newspaper sat next to his arm.
Lorelai: "Uh, excuse me Sir, but are you done with that newspaper?"
The old man stopped eating to look up at Lorelai, down to the newspaper, and then looked back up at Lorelai.
Old man: "I am, young lady,"
Lorelai: "May I buy it from you?"
Lorelai pulled out a dollar and showed it to the old man.
The old man smiled and replied: "You may take it, no money necessary. I'm done with it anyway,"
He then handed to newspaper over to Lorelai.
Lorelai: "Thank-you kind sir, I really appreciate it. It'll keep things entertaining,"
Lorelai then searched for Luke and when she spotted him taking a payment and putting it in the register, she decided to pass the time.
Lorelai called out to him: "Hey, Backwards Baseball Cap… when's your birthday?"
Luke looked up at her with a growl.
Luke: "What? I don't even KNOW you! I'm not telling you that, it's personal information,"
Lorelai: "Personal information? Oh come on, it's not like I'm asking for your social security number or asking for naked photos of you…"
Luke: "No,"
He walked around the counter to get a plate of food and took it to the table closer to Lorelai.
"Either give me coffee now or tell me your birthday….if you don't I'll lay one on you about the plaid shirt by singing "the Lumberjack Song" with loud, full-on impressions…."
Luke was taking the order of a girl sitting next to Lorelai, while he poured the girl coffee.
Luke: "No!"
Lorelai loud, in a bad male British voice: "I'm a Lumberjack and that's okay…!"
Luke whipped around with a squirm.
Luke: "October 25th… there happy now!"
He turned back to the girl and took her order as Lorelai took out the newspaper and opened it up. Luke walked by as she furiously flipped through the pages. Her utter seriousness and quietness caused Luke to stop and watch in curiosity.
Lorelai's eyes light up: "Ah, here it is! Hey, can I borrow your pen for a second?" she asked him.
Luke couldn't help but comply and handed the pen to her and watched as she scribbled something down on one of the pages. She handed the pen back to Luke with a "thanks", returned to the page and preceded to tear it to pieces.
Luke: "What the Hell are you doing?"
Lorelai held a piece of the newspaper up in triumph then held it out to Luke to take.
Lorelai: "Here, read this…" she instructed solemnly.
Luke: "Uh… okay…." He replied not sure of whether he should.
He took the piece of paper and read it. Under the title "Scorpio" he saw what she had written over the horoscope: "Today you will meet an annoying woman, give her coffee and she'll go away"
Luke's kettle finally blew its whistle: "Fine, FINE, I give in! Just as long as you do what it says!" he declared.
He poured coffee into a cup and handed it to Lorelai who sucked it up like water. As she drank, Luke started to crumple up the piece of paper.
Lorelai: "Wait! Don't do that!" she insisted urgently.
Luke halted: "What? Why not?"
Lorelai sighed with impatience: "Because it's like a fortune from a fortune cookie. I personally know of some people who have kept those fortunes; a couple of them came true exactly the way the fortunes read and one of them won the lottery from the lucky numbers on it. Keep it in your wallet and carry it around with you and it'll bring you good luck. It's even BETTER than a fortune cookie because it's a horoscope… it was written by the stars,"
Luke looked at her with confusion: "But YOU wrote that horoscope,"
Lorelai: "Yes, so? Look at it like this; the stars aligned for that moment to happen and maybe they could align again in the future. Great navigators in history used the stars to guide them to new lands all the time when there were no compasses,"
Luke: "And look how that turned out! Most of them ended up getting lost and losing lives. Columbus wanted to go to India but ended up in America, stole the Native American's money, lead them to disease and half of them dying out, and eventually they lost their land, were forced to live in camps, and now most of what's left of the population runs casinos"
Lorelai: "Yes that was bad but he started the shape of America and thanks to him… kids have a day off of school,"
Luke: "Well thank goodness for that," Luke growled, rolling his eyes and walked away.
The next chapter will be up in a couple of days. It's how Lorelai still has not left Luke's diner, they get to know each other a little better and Rory meets Luke.