A/N: Just an impulse write. One-shot. I decided to leave the ending more open. Hope everyone likes it.
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The last few years had not been easy.
Three years had passed since the fateful night of the transmutation.
Nothing had been found.
No way to return the stranded Elrics to their bodies.
Like it or not, they were both beginning to realize that one by one, doors were beginning to close. And like it or not, a suit of armor was not a permanent home. Sooner or later, the blood seal would fail, and he would be gone.
The stars were beautiful. Even through his pale imitation that passed for eyesight, Ed was aware of that fact. He had taken to watching them over the years, through the long hours of nightfall that he passed through without sleep. By now, he could identify every star and constellation, and pick them out on any but the cloudiest night. Tonight, a clear night in Risembool, they were shining clearer than ever.
Ed heard the door creak open behind him. Turning his helmeted head slightly, he saw Winry creep out and close the storm door quietly behind her. She wore a jacket a few layers too heavy for the season – idly he wondered if it was cooler than usual. He waited for her to sit on the stairsteps beside him.
"How's Al doing?" He could never quite get used to the hollow echo of his voice. Winry smiled slightly, shaking her head. Golden tresses flashed in the light from the kitchen.
"Sleeping like a baby. He'll be out for the night, and probably most of the day if I know him." Her eyes softened. "He never did take to the surgery well." Ed tried to ignore the twinge of guilt that flashed through him. He had tried to convince Al against taking the Automail surgery. He knew that Al was too kind, to fragile, too...naive. He wouldn't grasp all it entailed. He simply tried to take all the responsibility for the accident, and pushed himself far too hard.
They had to come back every once in a while for the automail, like they had now. Ed made them, even though he knew Al didn't want to. Time spent in Risembool was time away from books, and information, and research. Time away from Al's military duties was hard to come by as it was these days. The country was heating up, with different parties springing up all along the borders. Sooner or later he would be called to war, and they would be separated. If they didn't fix their problems by then, they would likely never be fixed.
He glanced down, and froze. A single tear traced its way down Winry's face, glistening faintly in the bright moonlight.
"Winry..." His voice was quiet, too quiet for a suit of armor. She leaned against his hammered metal side, cutting him off.
"You've been so many places, just the two of you. Someday, I want to travel. Someday..." Her voice trailed off. Ed knew the second half of that sentence, the half that went unspoken. Winry had wanted to come with Al and him on their journeys, had fought with them for months during the rehabilitation. Ed had fought back just as hard. He could deal with him and Al being in danger. No, he had to deal with it. He didn't and wouldn't have to worry about Winry being in some of the situations they had been in. He started to talk again, but Winry seemed to be able to foresee this.
"Tell me about it. Tell me about those places." Inwardly he sighed, but couldn't turn her down. The streak of wetness still flowed from her eyes, but her voice was firm. He racked his mind.
"Well...There's the deserts – Ishbal, Rush Valley. Sand for as far as you can see. Al tells me it's painfully hot in the days, but it gets to be freezing cold at night." He remembered those days, having to wrap the exposed bits of his armor in cloth to keep from burning Al when the two bumped into each other. It only made their situation worse; the two couldn't even touch. "We had dust in our stuff for months. Couldn't even find water in some areas; Al had to dig down to find any."
He couldn't think of anything else to say. The two drifted into an uncomfortable silence, looking up at the stars. Ed couldn't even bring himself to look down at her, to see if she had regained control. He wished she had. Seeing any girl crying wasn't fun, and seeing Winry cry, who was always so optimistic, was unbearable.
"And...You haven't found anything, right? I know Al doesn't like to tell the truth to me." Winry's voice was so low he nearly missed it. Ed winced, remembering their homecoming a few days before. Al had skated around the fact, muttering half-truths about unexplored paths and possible ideas. It was too obvious for the Rockbells. Ed slowly shook his head.
"...We didn't find anything. Not a thing. It's...." He tried to find a way to put the building situation with the military into words. Finally, he just decided on the raw truth. "It's not looking good, Winry. New doors aren't opening for the ones that close. It's probably good that Al's finally getting used to the automail...." He let the second half of his sentence slide into oblivion.
He didn't feel the harsh slap of flesh across the steel of his helmet, but the wet thud echoed dully through his suit. Dumbfounded, he watched as Winry stood next to him, as tall as him when on her feet. Tears now poured out. Blood dripped unnoticed, from the long gash on her hand from his spiked and uneven body.
"Don't...don't ever say something as stupid as...." She choked out, fighting for words. "That...that's just not true....not true at all..." Ed turned away, looking back to the stars as if they could swallow up the pain.
He didn't feel as her lips danced across his suit, landing on his helmet where his lips should be. Unable to anything, wanting desperately to, Ed could only sit perfectly still as the world waited. After the longest moment, Winry pulled back. She wasn't crying anymore, but the sight of her staring dumbly at the ground was somehow worse than with tears flowing down her face.
"Winry...I..." He wanted to tell her, all of the things that he had been holding back for years. The way the morning light made her eyes explode like sapphire suns. The way playing with her in the fields outside their home had been the high point of every moment of every day of his youth. The way he saw their future in the gentle way she helped the Rockbell clients through their agony.
But he couldn't. Winry deserved a future, a future with someone whole and human that would be there to grow old beside her, to raise a family with her, to die in tens of years beside her. The way he was now, that would never be. The way things were looking, that never would be. So even if it killed him, if his steel body rusted to pieces and his blood seal exploded from the pressure, he would keep it all in.
Forever.
