Disclaimer –If I owned Twilight, do you really think I would be writing fan fiction right now, let alone a meaningless one-shot? Didn't think so.
I'm dedicating this to all the jerks in my school who think Twilight is stupid, and/or Edward is gay. For once, a dedication isn't a good thing.
Things to do to Twilight Haters
Give them a paper cut in front of Jasper.
Sneak through their window at night and read them the Twilight series.
Before you leave their room, put up pictures of the whole Twilight cast on every centimeter of their walls and ceiling.
Put glitter on them, on a sunny day, and shove them in the middle of Volterra. Now, just watch the Volturri rip them into pieces. (Recommended to bring popcorn.)
Every time you see them, whisper a really sappy Twilight quote in their ear.
Make Jacob imprint on them.
Give them the evil Edward glare. You know, the one where he looks like he's going to kill Bella. It's the one in the movie where Edward looks constipated.
Tell Alice to take them on a shopping weekend.
Make them spend a day stuck in an empty room with Leah and Paul.
Put them in the same room with Rosalie and Jacob, instead.
Insult them with Twilight based insults that they wouldn't understand. When they ask what you are talking about, just make another Twilight reference.
Throw boysenberry muffins at them.
Tell Emmett to give them the biggest hug ever.
Tell Edward to run up to them randomly and throw them on his back, then he will run as fast as he can.
Make the whole pack imprint on them.
Shoot Mike with one of Cupid's arrows. Watch him follow them around like a puppy.
Throw Kristen Stewart's golden onion at them.
Every time they insult Twilight, tell them to go pull a Bella and jump off a cliff.
Tell them everything that happens in each book, in great detail.
Say that you bit them in their sleep, and since you're a vampire, they are now vampires. Give them a cup of cranberry juice, and tell them they have to drink the "blood" to survive.
Throw a couple pairs of Robert Patterson's smexy glasses at them.
Show them this website, with all the stories written by completely obsessive Twilight fans.
Say that you're Alice and their future just disappeared.
Tell them you can read their mind.
Say they smell very sickly sweet, so sweet that it hurts.
Tell them they smell like a dog that was sitting in the rain for days.
Show them this list.
For their birthday, get them all Twilight merchandise. Tell them that you thought that they would like it.
Make them watch Twilight over and over and over again until they run away screaming
AN-
hehe, i thought they were amazing! thanks for reading! tell me what u think. oh and p.s. dont try any of these things. there is a chance that you will get arrested.
Edwardluver96