She dated. Well that's what she kept telling herself, her mind needing convincing more than the people who were asking. She'd even had couple of longish relationships but it was the biggest one in her life that kept her away from all the others. She was a cop. That was her life, a rewarding one professionally but it left a gaping hole within her personally. The times she had turned guys down using work as an excuse, she had an early morning, too much paperwork or she was in the middle of a really important case, it always worked, and it kept her safe.
She wasn't asked out that often, not as often as a stunning woman like her would normally be, but it was her choice. She wasn't stupid, she knew she was attractive, sometimes catching the looks she was given striding down the street or when picking up a coffee and then there were the interrogations. Sitting opposite suspect after suspect who leered at her making really inappropriate comments, anything to try to get the upper hand, but none of it worked the armour was too thick. But who was she kidding? The hole had been getting deeper and deeper lately and it was beginning to hurt. She could probably get anyone she wanted and plenty that she didn't, but she didn't just want anyone.
So here she sat in front of the first Ken Doll she'd been out with in quite a long time, feigning interest, trying to enjoy herself because she really wanted and actually needed to, but it just didn't seem right. She wasn't comfortable. This guy was pretty perfect she kept telling herself, he was some sort of biologist or something, took care of himself, was full of interesting stories that he was trying to impress her with but something was missing. Then it struck her. She didn't want to argue or contradict this man, and she hadn't rolled her eyes once that evening and she suddenly missed doing that. The light bulb dinged and it was like a slap in the face and there he was like a little annoying devil on her shoulder jumping up and down raising his hand shouting 'Pick me, pick me.' It happened so quickly but it was such an intense feeling it consumed her entire body, she ached to see him and had to leave. Making her excuses she left the restaurant and got in the car speeding away with a big grin on her face. What on earth she was doing?